Spear Jokes

Following is our collection of explorer humor and impale one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Spear puns for adults, dirty chieftain jokes or clean bukka gags for kids.

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The Best jokes about Spear

A shipwreck survivor washes up on the beach...

...of an island and is surrounded by a group of warriors.
I'm done for, the man cries in despair.
No, you are not, comes a booming voice from the heavens. Listen carefully, and do exactly as I say. Grab a spear and push it through the heart of the warrior chief.
The man does what he is told, turns to the heavens, and asks, Now, what?
The booming voice replies, Now you are done for.

What's black, white, red, and has trouble going through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head.

A pilot bailed out of his crashing plane and landed on an uncharted island.

He soon found himself surrounded by natives with spears. A big native adorned with decorations points at the pilot.

I'm screwed, says the pilot.

God opens up the clouds and says to the pilot, No, you're not screwed. Grab the closest spear and throw it through the leader's heart.

The pilot does this.

NOW you're screwed, says God.

What's black and white and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a spear through her head.

Mama whale and Papa whale ...

... swim and look upon sailors coming towards them. The sailors are on small boats and have their spear in hand.

Papa whale says to mama whale:

-"They're hunting us, we should make bubbles and tip them over."

The mama whale agrees. They dive underneath the ships and blow so many bubbles that the ships capsize and the sailors fall into the water, but they still have their spears in their hands. Papa whale is still weary.

He says to mama whale:

-"We should eat them".

Mama whale says:

-"Listen, I agreed to the blow job, but I'm not swallowing seamen."


Advice from an old native American hunter:

Never go hunting for buffalo with a dull spear, it is pointless.

You should not disagree with my spear

It has a point.

Today I made a spear and threw it to the other side of a river

It wasn't very productive, but at least I got my point across.

What do you call a stripper with a spear?

A pole lancer

What do you call a Jamaican spear wielding man?

Pokey Mon

What is the difference between Crystal Palace football club and a spear?

A spear actually has a point.


I was going to go into battle

but I broke my spear so there was no point.

Never argue with somebody legally blind about spear fighting...

they can hardly see your point.

It's hard to argue with a spear

I mean, it's got a point.

What's black, white, and red all over and can't turn around in a narrow hallway?

A nun with a spear through her head.

How does a Reaver clean his spear?

He puts it in the Wash.

I went spearfishing for the first time the other day, it was great...

...the faces of the parents at the kiddie pool were much better though.

What's black, white, covered in blood, and can't turn around in a phone booth?

A nun with a spear through her head!

What do you call a British guy who throws a spear through the knee?

Britney Spears


What's black and white and can't go through a revolving door?

A zebra with a spear through its head.

How did the trident beat the spear?

It had two more points.

How do you defeat a ghost?

Spear it

Bongo!

A Torphy Hunter and his two aides were captured on a safari. The Tarolupa tribe took them in a caravan of a 100 hunters in wooden cages to their village.

In the village was the Chief. The Chief approached the cages as the hunters lined up in two lines of 50 men. The chief shook his spear at the three men and pointed to the second aide..."Death or Bongo?" The aide fearing for his life chose "Bongo."

He was pulled from the cage and sodomized by each of the hunters and ran away screaming into the jungle.

The Chief approached the second aid thrusting his spear and ask the same question. The response was the same and the man was sodomized and ran screaming into the jungle.

The Chief approached the Trophy Hunter and repeated the question "Death or Bongo?" The Hunter shook his head grimly and said "Death."

The Chief looked confused and then said "Death?" "Death by Bongo!" and the 100 men cheered

Another classic from DeepSpaghetti.org

I went to my car one day to find a spear sticking out of the windshield!

That's the last time I ask Joss Whedon to wash it for me.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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