The Best 24 Speaki Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Speaki jokes. There are some speaki town jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these speaki german puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Speaki Jokes and Puns
Speaking of a big fat butt!
A girl takes her big fat cat to the vet.
"My cat is very fat, she says.
"Alright," says the vet. "I will look at him."
The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth. Then she looks at its eyes. Then into its ears.
Finally, she turns to the girl and says, I'm very sorry. I'm going to have to put your cat down."
"Oh no! Because he's so fat?"
"Yes, says the doctor. My arms are very tired."
I was speaking to a computer technician.
"How do you make a motherboard?" I asked him.
He said, "Tell her about my job."
When speaking with Spanish people, make sure to always mention "mucho"
It means a lot to them
Speaking in German in Texas
In Texas, there is a town named New Braunfels, where there is a large
German-speaking population.
One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his
hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.
The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser
nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen." (Translated: "Glad to meet you!
Don't drink the water. The cows have crapped in it.")
The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for
Obama's health care plan. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."
The rancher replied: "Use both hands."
How do you know you're speaking with an engineer?
Don't worry they'll tell you.
I was speaking to an African child in her native language.
We just clicked.
I got speaking to a soldier the other day
I was interested in his story so I asked him what his rank was but apparently it's a secret; he said it was Private.
I was speaking to my friend today
I was speaking to my friend today who's parents just got back after a 3 week trip. I asked him, "How did you feel when you saw your parents after such a while?", to which he replied, "you know Im extremely unreactive!"
I then looked at him dead in the eyes and told him," How noble of you."
Speaking of PET scans, did you guys hear about the new law they passed in Oregon where dogs can no longer operate MRI machines?
Apparently cats can.
A baby was born
A baby was born and minutes after he began to speak..."I am going to live only 4 days, my Mother will die in 6 days and my Father will die in 15 days..."
4 days later the boy died, after 6 days the Mother died. The Father was crazy coz the next one will be him. He sold everything and spent the whole money...
15 days later the neighbour died.
Do not rush in solving problems.
Speaking of scotsmen, I asked one if anything is worn under the kilt...
He said "Nay ya wee bairn, everything's in fine an' workin' order!"
You can explore speaki spoke reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean speaki road dad jokes. There are also speaki puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Speaking of loft insulation
I had a man ring the bell the other day and ask if I was interested in getting felt up in the attic, so I punched him in the face and slammed the door.
I was speaking with an executioner the other day.
It was very annoying, he kept cutting me off.
Speaking from experience, don't argue with close friends about Bethesda Games.
It's a terrible reason to fallout for.
I was speaking to a black man the other day, when I said I suffered from Deuteranopia he asked 'Are you being racist?'
I said 'no, I don't see colour'
Speaking as a 28 year old,
Millenials are ruining self deprecating humor.
I was speaking to a colleague about the names of our computers, he told me about his raspberry pi called bifrost..
It was just a gateway device. (this is actually a thing that just happened 110% true)
Speaking from one deaf man to another,
......... "what?"
Was speaking to an elevator operator the other day, asked him how he enjoyed his line of work.
He says "Oh, it has its ups and downs."
I was speaking to my friend
He was telling me about a plan he had to change all the numbers in the world into roman numerals. I said "Not on my watch"
I was speaking to a group of the migrants from Central America. I asked them how they felt about a wall between Mexico and the United States.
They told me they would get over it.
Speaking for nothing
Speaking for nothing and saying nothing for nothing are the two major and rigorous principles of all those who would do well to shut their mouth before opening it.
Speaking as a Jewish couple, you know what the worst part of the divorce is?
Putting that wine glass back together, oy vey.
This is you speaking to your boss
and ~~this is you shouting at your boss~~.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the speaki fluent jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working speaki window piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.