Speaker House Jokes
22 speaker house jokes and hilarious speaker house puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about speaker house that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Speaker House Short Jokes
Short speaker house jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The speaker house humour may include short boarding house jokes also.
- What's the difference between Kevin McCarthy and Amazon Alexa? One's a speaker that runs the house and the other is a congressman…
- Alexa for President! I asked Alexa if she was considering running for President, but she said she was better suited for Speaker of the House.
- House Speaker: I now invite Bill de Blasio, the president of the United States to give his address to the nation. Bill de Blasio : 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington DC. Thank you!!
- I'm surprised Trump is on social media all the time I figured the Speaker of the House would be the Tweeter of the group.
- "My wife's having a relationship with the Speaker of the House of Representatives" "Boehner?"
"No, she assures me it's completely platonic."
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Speaker House One Liners
Which speaker house one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with speaker house? I can suggest the ones about white house and conference room.
- What would you call Dobby, the house elf, if he were a really good speaker? Dolby.
- Why didn't Alexa run for Senate? Because she likes being Speaker of the House.
- What do you call an incredibly well-dressed punk? The Speaker of the House
- What do you call it when the Speaker of the House is angry? .... A r**... Boehner.
Charming Humor Speaker House Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about speaker house you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dog house jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make speaker house pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Perfect Husband
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$65,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he smiles and asks: **"Anyone know whose phone this is?"**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Interesting Parliaments.
Member of Parliament: Mr speaker, half of the members in this house are s**....
Speaker: Honourable member please withdraw that statement.
Member of parliament: My apologies Mr speaker, half of members in this house are not s**....
Speaker: Thank you, lets move on.
Adam Johnson, the man pictured carrying House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's lectern during the Capitol riot, has been arrested in Florida
His lawyer has confirmed that at trial he will not be taking the stand.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Either way half of the members are s**.... The speaker doesn't see it.
At congress
**congressman**: Mr speaker, half of the people in this house are supporting corruption and are s**....
**speaker**: Honorable member, please withdraw that statement.
**congressman**: I withdraw that statement. Half of members in this house are not s**....
**speaker: T**hank you. Let's continue. ...
Trump, Pence, and Paul Ryan and traveling together
President Trump, Vice President Pence, and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan are traveling together in a presidential convoy. A tornado comes along, sweeps up their vehicle and launches them hundreds of yards away.
When they regain consciousness they realize they've been transported to the magical Land of Oz.
They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The Wizard is known for granting wishes.
Pence says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."
Paul Ryan adds, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart."
Trump looks around and asks, "Where's Dorothy?"
A cell phone rings in a full mens locker room, the man answers the phone
He puts it on speaker.
Man: "Hello!"
Woman: "Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
Man: "Yes."
Woman: "I'm at the mall and i just saw this beautiful leather coat and it's only $2,000, can i have it?
Man: "Sure!"
Woman: "Oh, and i just stopped by at the Lexus dealership and saw one i really liked, can i have it?
Man "How much is it?"
Woman: "$90,000."
Man: "Well if it's that much i want it with all the features."
Woman: "Ofcourse, one more thing. I just finished talking to Sarah, and the and the house i wanted is back on the market, they're asking 980.000 for it."
Man: "Ok, make an offer for 900.000, if they don't take it offer them the extra 80k if that's what you really want."
Woman: " Thank you so much honey, love you, bye!"
Man: "Love you too, bye."
The man hung up, everyone in the locker room was staring at him in astonishment. The man then calmly looked around and asked "Ok, whose phone is this?"
At the annual women's rights convention the speaker got up and said...
At the annual women's rights convention the speaker got up and said "last year we talked about making our husband's do more of the work often considered women's work, let's hear how that went."
First a lady from the USA got up and said "I told my husband I wasn't going to do any more cleaning until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day he cleaned the whole house from top to bottom." Everyone cheered.
Next a lady from Britain stood up and said "I told my husband I wasn't doing laundry until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day he not only did his laundry, but mine as well." More cheers.
Then a lady from Australia got up and said "I told my husband I wasn't going to do any more grocery shopping until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye"
Hopefully this isn't a repost, but I love this one.
A group of men are changing in locker room at a golf club. Suddenly a cell phone on the bench starts to ring, and a man puts it on speaker phone as he continues getting dressed. He says "Hello?", the woman on the other line says "Honey, it's me. Are you still at the golf club?"
"Yeah, what's going on?"
"I'm out shopping and found this great new leather coat, and it's only $500 dollars, can I get it?"
"Sure, if you like it"
"Thank you! I was also at the dealership earlier and saw the new Mercedes models, and there is one that's absolutely gorgeous, and I really want it!"
"How much is it?"
"About $80,000..."
"Alright, but for that price I want all the extra options included."
"Great! One other thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market, but they're asking for 1,500,000."
"Well, go ahead and make them an offer, but don't go above 1,250,000."
"Really? Okay! I love you, see you later!"
"Love you too."
The rest of the men in the club stare at him wide eyed. As he hangs up the phone he looks at the men and asks "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
The Perfect Husband.
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: Hello?
WOMAN: Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?
MAN: Yes.
WOMAN: I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only Rs. 25,000. Is it OK if I buy it?
MAN: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.
WOMAN: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked.
MAN: How much?
WOMAN: Rs. 55,40,000.″
MAN: OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.
WOMAN: Great! Oh, and one more thing… the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking Rs. 1,95,00,000″
MAN: Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of Rs. 1,50,00,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 45 lakhs if it's really a pretty good price.
WOMAN: Ok. I'll see you later! I love you so much!
MAN: Bye! I love you, too.
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: Anyone know who this phone belongs to?