Sparkling Jokes
28 sparkling jokes and hilarious sparkling puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sparkling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud and enjoy a toast with these sparkling jokes about water, wine, glitter, fizzy drinks and champagne. From puns to witty one-liners, find the funniest jokes that will keep your friends and family laughing.
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Funniest Sparkling Short Jokes
Short sparkling jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sparkling humour may include short glowing jokes also.
- They're only called patriots if they come from the Pat region in France otherwise, they are just sparkling riots
- He asked for a bottle of still water. I handed him sparkling.
He said 'I asked for still water - this is sparkling.'
'Yeah - but it's still water.' - I asked my partner what sort of engagement ring she'd like. "One that's a bit like you," she said.
"Full of sparkle?"
"Cheap and round," she replied. - At a Chinese restaurant So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said, Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck
- It's only Tabasco if it comes from that region of Mexico Otherwise it's sparkling tomato juice.
- You can only call it quarantine if it comes from the Quarantine region in France. Otherwise it's just sparkling curfew.
- Real Porsches... Real Porsches are from the Porscheaux region of France.
Otherwise they're just sparkling Volkswagens. - What should you do when you meet a beautiful woman with sparkling eyes, wet lips, pink cheeks, shivering body.... Keep going! She has flu symptoms!
- This popped into my head when I was half asleep. Figured I'd share. What does a Sparkle magazine model call her g**...?
Her glitterus
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Sparkling One Liners
Which sparkling one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sparkling? I can suggest the ones about shining and glitter.
- If your sparkling water loses it's bubbles, that's ok... It's still water.
- Sparkling water was invented by german. Who else would think of adding gas to the water.
- Sparkling water is definitely a German invention Who else would put gas in water?
- I've got a pet peeve His name is Sparkles and he likes belly rubs.
- What's the most important property of a sparkling pink ship? It's flamboyant.
- A soldier I know really likes stealing sparkling wine. He keeps telling me to take cava.
- Did you know Germany invented sparkling water? Who else would of thought of adding gas.
- My teacher told me he saw a sparkle in me turns out my shirt was on fire
- Equestria Girls Princess - Makeup -Twilight Sparkle and Friends Animatio...
- People are 70% water. Their personality depends on whether it's still or sparkling.
- Whats a magnets favorite drink? Polar Sparkling Water.
- Which dance moves are the most sparkling? Congas!
- How do you make a starfish shine? Drop it in sparkling water.
- p**..... prefer sparkling water.. just going out on a limb here
Silly Sparkling Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about sparkling you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flashy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sparkling pranks.
My mate told me yesterday that he's started dating twins!
I asked how he could tell which one is which.
He said, 'Well, Andrea is really, really attractive - she has long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and plump red lips. Plus she's got a really nice body. Pretty much a perfect ten.
And Brian has a c**....'
Probably old, but I got it in email and it made me chuckle.
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her
return, her father cursed her heavily. "Where have ye been all this
time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why
didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother
through?""
The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff... Dad...I became...a p**...."
"Ye what!!? Get outta here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a
disgrace to this Catholic family."
"OK, Dad, as ye wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious
fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $2 million savings certificate.
For me little brother, this gold Rolex, And for ye, Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes Limited Edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club... (takes a breath)... and an
invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" asks Dad.
The girl, crying again answered, "Sniff, sniff...a p**..., Daddy!
Sniff, sniff."
"Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant.
Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!!!"
A balding white haired man walks into a jewelry store with a beautiful much younger gal at his side...
He
told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated,
'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now
and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said
'Sir...There's no money in that account.
''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.'
"Real" Beer
The CEOs of AB InBev, Molson Coors and Guinness are at the bar.
The CEO of AB InBev orders a Bud Light.
The CEO of Molson Coors orders a Coors Light.
The CEO of Guinness orders a sparkling water.
The other two CEOs turn to the CEO of Guinness and ask him why he isn't ordering a Guinness to which he replies:
"If you two aren't drinking beer, then neither will I!"
Waiting in line
A woman is checking out at the grocery store. She buys a dozen eggs, two boxes of pasta, waffles, a bag of onions, lunch meat, oatmeal, sparkling water and throws on a pack of gum at the register.
The man behind her says "you must be single"
"Why yes I am! Did you figure this out by noticing all the stuff I bought?"
"Nope, it's because you are ugly!"
