Spare Jokes

Funniest Spare Short Jokes

Short spare jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spare humour may include short spade jokes also.

1. I hear you all like bowling jokes in these parts? Ehhh, strike that. I'll spare you from it
2. I asked my wife to grab 6 asparagus stalks from the garden. She came back with 7. The last one was just a spare, I guess.
3. My eldest came to me and he told me he was feeling suicidal. I said, "Hang in there son", and pointed to the spare room.
4. Why do accordion players always carry a spare instrument? Just in case they get a wrinkle in their plans.
5. A Moment of Silence Let's all spare a few moments of silence for the man who told his wife he was going to China on that Malaysian flight no MH. 370 and now can't come out of his girlfriend's flat.
6. I bought 10 asparagus at the store but when I got home I realized I had 11 It was just a spare, I guess.
7. My friend was telling me about how his Swedish car was totaled in an accident I told him to spare me his Saab story.
8. I spend my spare time reading the Thesaurus... because the mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
9. A Jehovah's Witness knocked at my door this morning. Could you spare a few moments to talk about the Judgement Day? he asked.
   Well, I replied, I'm not a big fan of the Terminator series. I Said
10. A kid was born without eye lids, so they used the spare skin from his circumcision to form some. Everything turned out fine, except... the doctor said he was a little cockeyed.

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Spare One Liners

Which spare one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spare? I can suggest the ones about spear and spend.

1. In my spare time I help blind children. I mean the verb, not the adjective.
2. What vegetable do you need when you get a flat tire? A-spare-I-guess.
3. What does a vegetable get in bowling? A-spare-I-guess
4. What did Voldemort say to Peter Pettigrew when they went bowling? *Kill the spare.*
5. I was alphabetising my spice rack... when I realised I have too much spare thyme.
6. My teacher told me to tuck my shirt in. I said, "Why?"
   "Because it *looks* like you've just had s**...," he said, zipping his trouser.
7. What do animal poachers do in their spare time? They go clubbing.
8. I got invited to test a new car made entirely of spare computer parts It was a hard drive
9. Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants? He wanted a spare in case he had a split.
10. What is a Skeleton's favorite meal? Spare Ribs
11. What does Batman do with all his spare money? He makes it wayne
12. Why do golfers always bring a spare pare of socks Incase they get a hole in one
13. What does the bowling ball who was taken hostage say? Please spare me
14. I want some gum Got any spare-mint?
15. What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs.

Spare Time Jokes

Here is a list of funny spare time jokes and even better spare time puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• In my spare time I'm helping blind children. This is a lot of fun, especially since I got my new 3W blue laser pointer.
• I would define my looks as a Victorian Childcatcher. Or an S&M Willy Wonka who likes to use a riding crop on his own leg in his spare time.
• When I was a single man, I had an incredible amount of spare time. Since I started listening to full albums I'm always stuck in my room.
• What does my dad like to do on his spare time? eh, beats me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
• What do peasants do in their spare time? They serf
• What does the Jewish alchemist do in his spare time? Hebrew
• I asked a Jewish person what they do in their spare time Apparently Hebrews.
• The main lumberjack at my company does some minor computer hacking in his spare time... ...he's our key logger.
• The Grim Reaper started hosting an art class in their spare time. They call it, a brush with Death!
• What does a pirate do in his spare time? He infringes on copyrights and downloads torrents.

Spare Change Jokes

Here is a list of funny spare change jokes and even better spare change puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A homeless midget asked me if I had spare change to buy some chips I said sorry you're a little short
• I yelled at my coworker yesterday because he couldn't spare me any change. Some people have no common cents.
• What's the most awkward place to run into a homeless person? On your way to the Coinstar... "ehh, no i don't have any spare change, I was just on my way to turn this into real money"
• Whenever I'm out in public flashing my money, women approach me all the time! I'd wish they would work on their pick up lines though, 90% of women start off by saying "Spare some change?"
• I was in Saudi Arabia the other day and I asked somebody if they had any spare change. They said," Yemen."
• A homeless man adopted a Chinese baby And named him Spare Chang
• A woman runs into a panhandler on the street... Panhandler: "Would you please spare me some change? I haven't eaten in three days.."
  Woman: "Well, you've gotta force yourself."
• One night stand I'm not happy about my girlfriends one night stand.
  
  I'd really like somewhere to put my phone and spare change when we go to bed.
• A homeless person asked me to spare some change and I don't have any money. He told me to get a job.
• What did the Jew say to the homeless man? Could you spare some change?

Spare Ribs Jokes

Here is a list of funny spare ribs jokes and even better spare ribs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I tried cooking Chinese spare ribs in the oven instead of the pan. I'll tell you it was a walk in the park compared to the pork in the wok.
• Why did the skeleton go to a barbecue? He broke his ribs and needed spares.
• What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
• I hope it doesn't rain on Memorial Day. Or else we're going to have a lot of *spare* ribs.
• Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
  A: Spare ribs!
• Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
  A: Spare ribs!
• Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
  A: Spare ribs!
• What's a skeleton's favorite dish? Spare ribs

Spare Tire Jokes

Here is a list of funny spare tire jokes and even better spare tire puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• If a car is going 30 km/h and makes a 35-degree turn, which of its wheels turns the slowest? The spare tire...
• What's the best kind of vegetable to have in your car if you get a flat tire? Asparagus? (A spare I guess?)
• What all does a vegan need to change a tire? A spare I guess.
• What is the difference between a dead h**... and spare tire? I only have one spare tire in my trunk!

Rib-Tickling Spare Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about spare you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spilt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spare pranks.