Spare Jokes

Funniest Spare Short Jokes

Short spare jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spare humour may include short spade jokes also.

1. I hear you all like bowling jokes in these parts? Ehhh, strike that. I'll spare you from it
2. I asked my wife to grab 6 asparagus stalks from the garden. She came back with 7. The last one was just a spare, I guess.
3. My eldest came to me and he told me he was feeling suicidal. I said, "Hang in there son", and pointed to the spare room.
4. Why do accordion players always carry a spare instrument? Just in case they get a wrinkle in their plans.
5. A Moment of Silence Let's all spare a few moments of silence for the man who told his wife he was going to China on that Malaysian flight no MH. 370 and now can't come out of his girlfriend's flat.
6. I bought 10 asparagus at the store but when I got home I realized I had 11 It was just a spare, I guess.
7. A Jehovah's Witness knocked at my door this morning. Could you spare a few moments to talk about the Judgement Day? he asked.
   Well, I replied, I'm not a big fan of the Terminator series. I Said
8. A kid was born without eye lids, so they used the spare skin from his circumcision to form some. Everything turned out fine, except... the doctor said he was a little cockeyed.
9. When I went to stay with my friend, he said he'd made up the spare room... Which was true...he didn't have one
10. In my spare time I'm helping blind children. This is a lot of fun, especially since I got my new 3W blue laser pointer.

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Spare One Liners

Which spare one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spare? I can suggest the ones about spear and spilt.

1. What vegetable do you need when you get a flat tire? A-spare-I-guess.
2. What does a vegetable get in bowling? A-spare-I-guess
3. I was alphabetising my spice rack... when I realised I have too much spare thyme.
4. What do animal poachers do in their spare time? They go clubbing.
5. I got invited to test a new car made entirely of spare computer parts It was a hard drive
6. Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants? He wanted a spare in case he had a split.
7. What is a Skeleton's favorite meal? Spare Ribs
8. What does Batman do with all his spare money? He makes it wayne
9. What does the bowling ball who was taken hostage say? Please spare me
10. I want some gum Got any spare-mint?
11. What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs.
12. What do peasants do in their spare time? They serf
13. If you have any puns about bowling Spare me
14. Why should you sparingly put herbs on fish? Because there is a thyme and a plaice for it
15. What do you call a boxer who enjoys landscape gardening in his spare time? Manny Patio

Spare Time Jokes

Here is a list of funny spare time jokes and even better spare time puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• When I was a single man, I had an incredible amount of spare time. Since I started listening to full albums I'm always stuck in my room.
• The main lumberjack at my company does some minor computer hacking in his spare time... ...he's our key logger.
• The Grim Reaper started hosting an art class in their spare time. They call it, a brush with Death!
• What does a pirate do in his spare time? He infringes on copyrights and downloads torrents.
• What do ISIS members like to play in their spare time? Bomberman
• In his spare time my dad races pigeons I don't know why, he never beats them.
• Kim Jong Un spends his spare time helping his citizens measure all sorts of things He was quite a ruler.
• What do you call a Korean high school girl who fights crime in spare time? kimchi Possible, obviously
• What does the Night King do in his spare time? He chills.
• My physics teacher tells the most horrible jokes... Q: What does iron man eat in Burger King?
  A:iron rings!
  Q: What does iron man do in his spare time?
  A: Iron clothes...

Spare Change Jokes

Here is a list of funny spare change jokes and even better spare change puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A homeless midget asked me if I had spare change to buy some chips I said sorry you're a little short
• I yelled at my coworker yesterday because he couldn't spare me any change. Some people have no common cents.
• What's the most awkward place to run into a homeless person? On your way to the Coinstar... "ehh, no i don't have any spare change, I was just on my way to turn this into real money"
• I was in Saudi Arabia the other day and I asked somebody if they had any spare change. They said," Yemen."
• A homeless man adopted a Chinese baby And named him Spare Chang
• A woman runs into a panhandler on the street... Panhandler: "Would you please spare me some change? I haven't eaten in three days.."
  Woman: "Well, you've gotta force yourself."
• One night stand I'm not happy about my girlfriends one night stand.
  
  I'd really like somewhere to put my phone and spare change when we go to bed.
• A homeless person asked me to spare some change and I don't have any money. He told me to get a job.
• What did the Jew say to the homeless man? Could you spare some change?
• Where did the man with an undecorated yard put his spare change? His Hedge Fund.

Spare Tire Jokes

Here is a list of funny spare tire jokes and even better spare tire puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• If a car is going 30 km/h and makes a 35-degree turn, which of its wheels turns the slowest? The spare tire...
• What's the best kind of vegetable to have in your car if you get a flat tire? Asparagus? (A spare I guess?)
• What all does a vegan need to change a tire? A spare I guess.

Spare Room Jokes

Here is a list of funny spare room jokes and even better spare room puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was trying to find some spare RAM sticks in our stock room but I couldn't see any... Because it was SO-DIMM.
• Every Christmas we have pigs in blankets Or as you probably call them - relatives sleeping in the spare room.

Spare Rib Jokes

Here is a list of funny spare rib jokes and even better spare rib puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I tried cooking Chinese spare ribs in the oven instead of the pan. I'll tell you it was a walk in the park compared to the pork in the wok.
• Why did the skeleton go to a barbecue? He broke his ribs and needed spares.
• I hope it doesn't rain on Memorial Day. Or else we're going to have a lot of *spare* ribs.

Rib-Tickling Spare Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about spare you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spare pranks.