Spare Change Jokes
29 spare change jokes and hilarious spare change puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spare change that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Spare Change Short Jokes
Short spare change jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spare change humour may include short spare jokes also.
- A homeless midget asked me if I had spare change to buy some chips I said sorry you're a little short
- I yelled at my coworker yesterday because he couldn't spare me any change. Some people have no common cents.
- What's the most awkward place to run into a homeless person? On your way to the Coinstar... "ehh, no i don't have any spare change, I was just on my way to turn this into real money"
- I was in Saudi Arabia the other day and I asked somebody if they had any spare change. They said," Yemen."
- A woman runs into a panhandler on the street... Panhandler: "Would you please spare me some change? I haven't eaten in three days.."
Woman: "Well, you've gotta force yourself." - One night stand I'm not happy about my girlfriends one night stand.
I'd really like somewhere to put my phone and spare change when we go to bed. - A homeless person asked me to spare some change and I don't have any money. He told me to get a job.
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Spare Change One Liners
Which spare change one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spare change? I can suggest the ones about pocket money and spare time.
- A homeless man adopted a Chinese baby And named him Spare Chang
- What did the Jew say to the homeless man? Could you spare some change?
- Where did the man with an undecorated yard put his spare change? His Hedge Fund.
- What all does a vegan need to change a tire? A spare I guess.
- Why did I break up with my spare change? It was too clingy
Spare Change Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about spare change you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean small amounts jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spare change pranks.
What are your best "If I had ____ for every time..." jokes?
Two of my favorites are:
1. "If I had a dollar for every existentialist moment I've ever had...Does money even matter?" - Can't remember the comedian.
2. "If I had a quarter every time a hobo asked me for spare change, I'd still say no" - Bo Burnham
What is between moms legs?
One day a boy asked his father, Dad, what is between moms legs?
The father reply, The door to heaven!
Then what is between yours? – the boy asked. The father said, The key to the door!
Then the boy said, I think you should change the lock because our neighbor has the spare key.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I walked out of my local shop today...
...and outside was a t**.... Same guy as always, but I'd never talked to him before. As I passed, he said, "Excuse me, I don't suppose you have a spare cigarette I can have?". I looked around, and I was the only person in the vacinity, so I knew he was talking to me. "Sorry mate, I don't smoke." I replied, which is true. He looked disappointed, but then asked hopefully "Any change?", I thought for a second before answering "Nope, still don't smoke."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy and a girl get a flat tire one cold winter's night.
The guy goes out to change the tire, but he has no gloves, and after a while, his hands start to get blue, so he comes back into the car.
Put your hands between my thighs and that'll warm them up, invites the girl. He does, and pretty soon his hands recover, and he goes back outside. After a while longer, his hands get cold again, and once again, she suggests that he warm them between her thighs. He does so and returns to finish putting on the spare. When he comes back into the car triumphant, she looks at him and asks, Aren't your ears cold?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Where did Timmy go during the e**...?
**EVERYWHERE**.
He had a newfound respect for life after being spared from such a life-changing event. He went to Arizona, Colorado, New York, England, then settled down in Paris with his now-engaged girlfriend.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As a child, I was so immature. I'd spend any spare change on Hotwheels cars, then c**... them and around like an idiot.
But now I've really matured.
I now any spare change on Hotwheels cars, then display them on my shelf
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whenever I'm out in public flashing my money, women approach me all the time!
I'd wish they would work on their pick up lines though, 90% of women start off by saying "Spare some change?"
A boy is talking to his 100 year-old grandfather...
The grandfather says, "You know, when I was not so much older than you are now, I lived in Sydney, Australia. In fact, I earned a bit of spare change helping on the construction of the ol' Harbour Bridge."
The boy says, "Wow! That sounds fascinating! Was it exciting?"
The grandfather, shaking his head, says, "It was just riveting work."
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store.
While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it.
“What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?”
“Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
I strongly believe in karma.
Like this other day i noticed a homeless man sitting in front of the supermarket. He seemed to have a difficult time.
I went into the supermarket and collected some stuff to give to the homeless man, i wrapped it up neatly in some wrapping paper and went back outside
The homeless man asked if i had some spare change. I told him "I dont have any spare change for you but i do have this present for you".
The homeless man couldnt help but put a big smile on his face and said: "My good sir i would happily take this gift"
I replied "You may have this gift under one condition". "Anything sir" the homeless man replied
"Dont you dare open it before you get home"
Happiness
Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump are on a plane. As the plane flies over a poor city, the Korean dictator looks through the window and claims:
-If I were to toss a dollar off the plane, I would make one person happy.
-If I were to throw a hundred dollars in pennies, I could make entire families happier,- says President Putin.
-Please, the amount of spare change I could find in my pockets alone would cheer up the city,- boasts President Trump.
-And if I were to throw you three off the plane, I would make the entire humanity happy,- adds the pilot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a man was late for a business meeting
so he was already in a rush when he had a flat tire. he pulled over and began changing to his spare. Just as he as about to mount the spare, he accidentally knocked all his lugnuts into a storm drain. so he begins cursing his luck.
It just so happens he pulled over next to an insane asylum where there were patients out on the grounds behind a chain link fence. one of the patients saw the commotion and came to the fence and asked him what was wrong. He explained that he had lost his lugnuts and couldn't mount the spare.
"just take one lugnut off of each of the other three tires. that will at least get you where you need to go, then you can get replacement nuts later." the patient suggested.
"that's actually really brilliant. thank you" the man said.
"yeah, well I'm in here because I'm crazy, not s**..."