The Best 35 Spank Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Spank jokes. There are some spank dvds jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these spank discipline puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Spank Jokes and Puns

Some dude told me to stop defending spanking as a punishment for kids.

I told him If I stopped every time someone told me to, I wouldn't have a kid to spank.

A young mother is cleaning her son Jimmy's room...

When she stumbles upon an S&M magazine underneath his pillow. She freaks out because young Jimmy is only 8 years old. She runs to her room where she meets her husband.

"Bill, look what I found underneath Jimmy's pillow! He's only 8, what should we do??!"

The husband eyes the magazine and ponders.

"...Well we can't spank him."

Discipline is important

A wife calls her husband into their son's room. She says, "Look what I found under Johnny's bed!" as she points to a suitcase filled with whips, paddles, canes, and cat–o'–nine–tails of every size, color, and material. "What are we going to do with him?" she asks. The father looks at the suitcase, looks at his son, and looks at his wife. He says, "Whatever we do we shouldn't spank him."

Spank joke, Discipline is important

I never could get into spanking as a fetish.

But, you know, different strokes for different folks.

A simple SFW joke

Son: Dad, why are you spanking me? I admitted I chopped down the cherry tree. Even George Washington's father didn't spank him for that.

Father: Yes, but his father wasn't in the tree when it happened!

Apparently, In Sweden parents aren't allowed to spank their kids.

Like that would bother me, I don't do foreplay.

Why do doctors spank babies when they are first born?

The penises fall off the dumb ones.

Spank joke, Why do doctors spank babies when they are first born?

A man and his wife find an S & M magazine under their son's bed.

Mom says "This is horrible, what should we do?"

Dad replies, "Well we can't spank him!"

50 Shades of Little Johnny

Johnny's Mum was cleaning under his bed when she found a stash of BDSM magazines.

A bit concerned she asks Johnny's Dad what he thinks she should do.

Johnny's Dad responds "whatever else you do, don't spank him"

I've made too many withdrawals from the spank bank...

They tell me my count is getting low.

A Mother walks into her son's room and finds a BDSM magazine.

She asks her husband what they should do about it, to which he replies "well, we definitely shouldn't spank him."

You can explore spank thrash reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean spank beat dad jokes. There are also spank puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Father and son

A father sends his kid to bed. Five minutes later, the boy screams, "Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?"

The dad says, "No. You had your chance."

A minute later the boy screams, "Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?"

The dad says, "No. You had your chance. Next time you ask, I'll come up there and spank you."

"Dad! When you come up to spank me, can you bring me a glass or water?"

I have a great motto for a sperm bank.

You spank it, we bank it.

A mother cleaning her 12 year old's bedroom

A mum is cleaning her 12year old son's bedroom and finds a load of bondage gears and fetish magazines.

She asks her husband, "What do I do?"

He says, "I'm not sure, but whatever you do, don't spank him!"

One day Mom was cleaning junior's room

and in the closet she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word. She finally asked him, " Well what should we do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."

A Mother is cleaning her kids room...

She finds a bunch of BDSM gear and fetish mags. She shows her husband

Mom: What do we do?

Dad: I'm not sure, but whatever you do you better not spank him!!

Spank joke, A Mother is cleaning her kids room...

I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground I threw my fries on the ground too.

My wife and I found some S&M videos on my son's computer...

"What should we do?"

"Well, we can't spank him."

One day, Billy was playing at home with some matches.

Even though his mother had told him not to. He accidentally set the house on fire, and he and his mother fled outside. As the house was burning down, his enraged mother said,

"Boy, your dad is going to spank you when he gets home".

But Billy just laughed; he knew his dad had come home early for a nap.

Last night my parents found S&M videos on my laptop.

"What should we do?" My mom asked.

"Well we can't spank him!" My Dad replied.

Mom Cleaning Son's Room and Finds a BDSM Magazine...

This mad her very upset. She put it back under his bed until his father got home and showed him.

He gave it a look and handed it right back to her without a word, so she asked him, 'What should we do about this?'

Dad paused and said, 'Well I don't think you should spank him.'

If I spank Dwayne Johnson...

does that mean I hit Rock bottom?

When I misbehaved, my father wouldn't spank me....

Instead, he'd ground me.

And then he'd run electric current through me.

My wife has been saying she'd "spank me tonight" for weeks now, and I'm still waiting.

She's a procrastinatrix.

My girlfriend won't let me spank her during foreplay

So I glued her buttcheeks together. Well I guess if you can't beat them, join them!

When I was a kid my dad used to spank me with his belt..

What made it worse is that he was the reigning WWE Champion

If I go around spanking statues,

Does that mean I've hit rock bottom?

I got so drunk I tried to spank a statue last night.

It really hurts when you hit rock bottom.


Spank Bank = Fapper Keeper

I saw a very attractive guy spank his child after he threw his fries on the ground

I also threw my fries on the ground.

A woman is talking to her next door neighbour and she says I'm worried about my 16 year old son...

I looked in his school bag and found a gimp mask, nipple clamps and a whip. What should I do.
And the neighbour replyed I'm no expert but I wouldn't spank him.

My wife and I are really into light BDSM play...

...even our favourite breakfast is spank aches.

I went to a spanking party the other night.

I feel like I've really hit bottom.

Spanking your own kids is already low

But If You Spank Someone Else's Kid
You've Hit A New Bottom

A mom was cleaning her son's bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear & fetish mags.

She asked her husband: What do we do? Husband said: I'm no expert, but I wouldn't spank him!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the spank smack jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working spank chastise piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes