Spank Jokes
49 spank jokes and hilarious spank puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spank that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Spank Short Jokes
Short spank jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spank humour may include short smack jokes also.
- Now that I'm an adult, there are things I can appreciate a whole lot more than when I was a child... Things like wearing diapers and spankings...
- What's the difference between an American tourist in Mexico and a spanking? A spanking rattles the buns, and an American tourist in Mexico battles the runs
- I knew my fetishes were getting out of hand, when I spanked a statue… I had hit rock bottom
- I gave my friend a really tight sports bra as a going away present. It was just my way of saying spanks for the mammaries.
- Instead of Hillary Clinton, maybe Stormy Daniels should have run against Trump? I'm pretty sure she would've spanked him.
- Nancy Pelosi just thrashed Trump over this shut-down business. But Stormy Daniels showed us that Trump likes getting spanked by a woman.
- My mother has a letter M tattooed on each buttcheek. "Why?" I asked.
"They are actually Ws, and they spell WOW."
Which was awkward, because I always spanked it to MOM. - My parents are so Asian they spanked me after I came home with a B- in my report card full of straight As The worst part was that it was my blood type
- My wife and I disagree on spanking our son but I just did it anyway. That will teach him to disrespect the gift I got him for his 30th birthday.
- I knew my fantasies were getting worse But when I spanked a statue I knew I'd hit rock bottom.
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Spank One Liners
Which spank one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spank? I can suggest the ones about whack and punish.
- It's funny how you change over time... When I was young I hated spankings
- If you give Dwayne Johnson a spanking... It means you've just hit Rock bottom.
- What does a devout catholic girl do when she gets spanked? She turns the other cheek.
- I went to a spanking party the other night. I feel like I've really hit bottom.
- My friend lost is job at the zoo. They caught him spanking the monkey.
- Remember the 7-Mile Spanking Machine? Turns out there will also be a punch line.
- What's the thing that moms love but kids hate? Spankings
- I'm in favor of spanking children. Their parents are not.
- A man once spanked off to the moon He suffocated halfway there
- I figured out how to discipline my kid without spanking Electric dog collar
- If I go around spanking statues, Does that mean I've hit rock bottom?
- My parents had to call peta on me they said I was spanking my monkey too much
- Have you seen the trailer for the new Brad Pitt action thriller? Spanks on a Plane
- So I was spanking the monkey yesterday... ...and then i got banned from the zoo for life.
- What do you get when you put a tomato in your mothers shoe? A spanking
Giggle-Inducing Spank Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about spank you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean slap jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spank pranks.
If I s**... Dwayne Johnson...
does that mean I hit Rock bottom?
A mom was cleaning her son's bedroom when she found a load of serious b**... gear & f**... mags.
She asked her husband: What do we do? Husband said: I'm no expert, but I wouldn't s**... him!"
My wife and I found some s**... videos on my son's computer...
"What should we do?"
"Well, we can't s**... him."
I just saw a hot mom at mcdonalds s**... her kid after he threw his fries on the ground
...so I threw my fries on the ground too.
Spanking your own kids is already low
But If You s**... Someone Else's Kid
You've Hit A New Bottom
A young mother is cleaning her son Jimmy's room...
When she stumbles upon an s**... magazine underneath his pillow. She freaks out because young Jimmy is only 8 years old. She runs to her room where she meets her husband.
"Bill, look what I found underneath Jimmy's pillow! He's only 8, what should we do??!"
The husband eyes the magazine and ponders.
"...Well we can't s**... him."
Last night my parents found s**... videos on my laptop.
"What should we do?" My mom asked.
"Well we can't s**... him!" My Dad replied.
A mother cleaning her 12 year old's bedroom
A mum is cleaning her 12year old son's bedroom and finds a load of b**... gears and f**... magazines.
She asks her husband, "What do I do?"
He says, "I'm not sure, but whatever you do, don't s**... him!"
A man and his wife find an S & M magazine under their son's bed.
Mom says "This is horrible, what should we do?"
Dad replies, "Well we can't s**... him!"
My girlfriend won't let me s**... her during foreplay
So I glued her b**... together. Well I guess if you can't beat them, join them!
Mom finds chains and whips in sons room
So she goes and ask her husband what they should do about his b**... issue. The dad says, well I definitely wouldn't s**... him
I saw a very attractive guy s**... his child after he threw his fries on the ground
I also threw my fries on the ground.
A woman is talking to her next door neighbour and she says I'm worried about my 16 year old son...
I looked in his school bag and found a gimp mask, n**... c**... and a whip. What should I do.
And the neighbour replyed I'm no expert but I wouldn't s**... him.
Father and son
A father sends his kid to bed. Five minutes later, the boy screams, "Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?"
The dad says, "No. You had your chance."
A minute later the boy screams, "Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?"
The dad says, "No. You had your chance. Next time you ask, I'll come up there and s**... you."
"Dad! When you come up to s**... me, can you bring me a glass or water?"
what happens if you s**... dwayne johnson
you hit rock bottom
A Mother walks into her son's room and finds a b**... magazine.
She asks her husband what they should do about it, to which he replies "well, we definitely shouldn't s**... him."
Discipline is important
A wife calls her husband into their son's room. She says, "Look what I found under Johnny's bed!" as she points to a suitcase filled with whips, paddles, canes, and cat–o'–nine–tails of every size, color, and material. "What are we going to do with him?" she asks. The father looks at the suitcase, looks at his son, and looks at his wife. He says, "Whatever we do we shouldn't s**... him."
A Mother is cleaning her kids room...
She finds a bunch of b**... gear and f**... mags. She shows her husband
Mom: What do we do?
Dad: I'm not sure, but whatever you do you better not s**... him!!
Mom Cleaning Son's Room and Finds a b**... Magazine...
This mad her very upset. She put it back under his bed until his father got home and showed him.
He gave it a look and handed it right back to her without a word, so she asked him, 'What should we do about this?'
Dad paused and said, 'Well I don't think you should s**... him.'
My wife and I are really into light b**... play...
...even our favourite breakfast is s**... aches.
50 Shades of Little Johnny
Johnny's Mum was cleaning under his bed when she found a stash of b**... magazines.
A bit concerned she asks Johnny's Dad what he thinks she should do.
Johnny's Dad responds "whatever else you do, don't s**... him"
One day Mom was cleaning junior's room
and in the closet she found a b**... S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word. She finally asked him, " Well what should we do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should s**... him."
A simple SFW joke
Son: Dad, why are you spanking me? I admitted I chopped down the cherry tree. Even George Washington's father didn't s**... him for that.
Father: Yes, but his father wasn't in the tree when it happened!
One day, Billy was playing at home with some matches.
Even though his mother had told him not to. He accidentally set the house on fire, and he and his mother fled outside. As the house was burning down, his enraged mother said,
"Boy, your dad is going to s**... you when he gets home".
But Billy just laughed; he knew his dad had come home early for a nap.
When I was a kid my dad used to s**... me with his belt..
What made it worse is that he was the reigning WWE Champion
When I misbehaved, my father wouldn't s**... me....
Instead, he'd ground me.
And then he'd run electric current through me.
My wife has been saying she'd "s**... me tonight" for weeks now, and I'm still waiting.
She's a procrastinatrix.
Apparently, In Sweden parents aren't allowed to s**... their kids.
Like that would bother me, I don't do foreplay.
I never could get into spanking as a f**....
But, you know, different strokes for different folks.
I've made too many withdrawals from the s**... bank...
They tell me my count is getting low.
I have a great motto for a s**... bank.
You s**... it, we bank it.
Why do doctors s**... babies when they are first born?
The p**... fall off the dumb ones.
Some dude told me to stop defending spanking as a punishment for kids.
I told him If I stopped every time someone told me to, I wouldn't have a kid to s**....
