Spanish Jokes

Following is our collection of eso humor and porque one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Spanish puns for adults, dirty english jokes or clean tapas gags for kids.

There is an abundance of nada jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 67 funniest jokes on spanish. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any hispanic witze you can hear about spanish.

The Best jokes about Spanish

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain.

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning Spanish since lockdown.

He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.

Here, have a joke in spanish

sabe inglΓ©s?"

"si"

"como se dice 'un zapato' en inglΓ©s?"

"a shoe"

"salud"

"gracias

Spanish joke, Here, have a joke in spanish

I always say muchos to spanish people

It means a lot to them

I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football.

Nobody expects the Spanish in position.


Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice?

The Spanish Inquisition.

My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Everyone seemed surprised.

Nobody expects the Spanish Acquisition

Spanish joke, My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Everyone seemed surprised.

What do you call a group of confused Spanish speaking racists?

The ΒΏQuΓ© QuΓ© QuΓ©?

My uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain

He come out late at night to ring people's doorbells.

Because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician

Spanish Dad Joke

Dad: Son what are you drinking?

Son: Soy Milk

Dad: Hola Milk, me llamo Dad

My Spanish teacher taught me the word for "Transgender"

I asked him if the word is masculine or feminine


What is the longest word in the Spanish language?

Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllll

People are always amazed at the skilled tattoo artists in Spain.

No one expects the Spanish ink precision

A cop pulled over a spanish photon...

The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The photon said, "c."

Whenever I'm asked "What happened in 1492?", people are always surprised by my answer.

Nobody expects "The Spanish Inquisition".

I've getting feedback that my jokes are in broken English, so here's one in Spanish.

Uno.

Spanish joke, I've getting feedback that my jokes are in broken English, so here's one in Spanish.

In a huge lecture hall once I only had four international students turn up - English, French, Spanish and German. I asked if they could all see me. They said...

Yes, Oui, Si, Ja

Jesus walks into a bar

The barman looks up and asks "We don't serve wine here"
Jesus looks at him quizzically and goes to look for a Spanish translator because he had just immigrated from Mexico and English was not his first language.

I saw a Spanish magician last night.. he said "uno, dos.."

And then he disappeared without a tres


My 4-year-old nephew has been learning Spanish since lockdown.

He can't say 'please' which I think is poor for four

"Uno, dos..."

And just like that, the Spanish magician was gone without a tres.

Tattoos

People are amazed at how good the tattoo artists are in Spain........
They weren't expecting the Spanish ink precision

A Spanish magician was showing a trick..

"For my next trick, I'll disappear into thin air. Uno, dos."

And he vanished without a tres!

During lockdown my next door neighbours 4 year old started learning Spanish.

He still can't say 'Please' though, which is poor for four.

Two students and a teacher want to have sex with foreign exchange students.

One student goes for the French student, and the whole time she screams, "Oui! Oui! Oui!"

The other student gets with a Spanish student, and she screams, "SΓ­! SΓ­! SΓ­!"

The teacher locks a German student in his office, the whole time she screams, "Nein! Nein! Nein!" He replies, "Really? I could have sworn you were only eight years old."

My daughter has been learning Spanish for a year now but still can't say please

Which I think is poor for four

A blonde tells her friend

"I completed a jigsaw puzzle in record time!"

"No way! How long did it take you?" Replied her friend

"6 months"

"That cannot be a record time!'

" Well the box said from 1 to 3 years"

Sorry for bad English, original was in Spanish

My friend is so rich

He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician

What do you call a spanish child molester?

A Pedrophile.

A spanish magician ...

A spanish magician gets on stage and says "I will disappear in 3 seconds." He counts: "Uno, Dos." And he disappeared without a tres.

A Spanish magician is at a party

He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, "uno, dos," POOF.

He disappeared without a tres.

A Spanish magician told the crowd he'll make himself vanish on the count of 3. He goes "Uno, dos...

And *Poof*..... He disappeared without a tres.

I recently bought a copy of Monty Python's Big Red Book, but was later dismayed to find that I'd purchased the Spanish language version...

Nobody expects the Spanish text edition.

I used to have a Spanish girlfriend called Nada

She meant nothing to me

My dad is moving to a Spanish city

Ciudad

I'd like to thank my Spanish teacher for spending so much time teaching me what mucho means

It really means a lot

A Spanish magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3

He says uno, dos... then POOF, he disappears without a tres

My wife says I have a short attention spanish is a beautiful language isn't it?

A man is in an airplane from Miami to Paris

And a stunning gorgeous woman seats by his side. He's the eager to start a conversation.

"So, what are you doing in Paris?"

"I'm a scientist, I research sex"

The man is now tempted:

"What have you discovered about sex in your research?"

"I came to find that Native Americans have the longest penises and Spanish can last the longest in bed. By the way, I'm Carol, what's your name?"

"I'm Sitting Bull Hernandez, nice to meet you"

The Spanish magician

So there's this Spanish magician right and he says "I'll make myself disappear on the count of three".
"Unos..... Dos...." *BANG!" in a cloud of smoke he disappeared without a Tres.

Two old men, one French and one Spanish were sitting on a park bench.

When a beautiful young girl in a miniskirt walks by. Just as she passes them a breeze comes along and lifts the girl's skirt up revealing she's not wearing panties. The French man looks at the Spanish man and says "C'est la vie" and the Spanish man exclaims back "Se la vi, tambien."

My Spanish-speaking students got a kick out of this one.

Q: What do you call a person who speaks 3 languages?
A: (Try to elicit responses..) Tri-Lingual.
Q: What do you call a person who speaks two languages?
A: (Many of them know this one) Bi-Lingual.
Q: What do you call a person who speaks one language?
A: An American!

In New York there are many tattoo artists from all over the world, but for some reason the artists from Spain have trouble getting business.

Why? Because nobody expects the Spanish ink precision!

Overheard while standing in line at the grocery store.

A woman was standing in line talking on her cell phone in another language. Ahead of her is a white man. After the woman hangs up he turns to her:

Man: "I didn't want to say anything while you were on the phone but you are in America now. You need to speak English."

Woman: "Excuse me?"

Man: *talks slow-* If you want to speak Spanish, go back to Mexico. In America, we speak English."

Woman: "Sir, I was speaking Navajo. If you want to speak English, go back to England."

I went to see a Spanish magician

I went to see a Spanish magician and he told the crowd that he could make himself disappear on the count of three.

He started counting.

"Uno! Dos!"

And then he was gone. Without a tres.

What do you call a Spanish midget?

A paragraph.

Because he's not a full essay.

Hear are sum morre punny science jokes

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.

The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.

Chemistry puns Im in my element.

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Ion-estly cant think of anymore... All the good ones Argon!

Edit 1 just thought of this.

What does Barium Cobalt and Nitrogen make?
BaCoN

Why do Spanish men get half price movie tickets?

They take the seΓ±or discount.

Mom, why am I dark if my father's skin is alabaster and yours is too?

Rough translation from Spanish:

Child:Mom, why am I dark if my father's skin is alabaster and yours is too?

Mother: With how drunk I was that night it's a miracle you don't bark!

Only men who wear the pants go to heaven.

I am translating this joke from Spanish so pardon any errors.

There is a terrible accident and 100 couples were killed. They find themselves in front of St. Peter and the Pearly Gates. St. Peter decides to divide the group into two and declares: "Every man who wore the pants in the relationship stand on the left line, and all the men who let their women boss you around stand on the right." Much to his surprise, 99 men stand on the right. St. Peter is very stunned and curious about the sole man standing on the left. He goes up to him and asks, "okay son, why are you in this line?" The man looks very frightened and he caves in, "I'm sorry, my wife told me to stand here."

I always thought soy milk...

was just introducing itself in Spanish

What do you call a Spanish man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

The Spanish Inquisition.

A Mexican Joke

A Mexican man finds a much needed job and asks the owner to hire him. The owner says he'll hire him ONLY if he can come up with a sentence using 3 words of his choice. The words are Green, Pink and Yellow. So the Mexican thinks for a second then replies (read in a Spanish accent) the phone goes Green Green, so I Pink it up and say Yellow?


Jajaja

Did you hear about the Spanish speaking magician?

He counted from uno to dos and disappeared without a tres.

changed my voice settings to Spanish on my gps

it told me i didn't have enough people in the car

Some years ago...

...a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece. The Mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor he wondered how he could afford such a house. The Spaniard said; "You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end this house could be built".

The following year the Spaniard visited the Greek town. He was simply amazed at the Greek Mayor's house, gold taps, marble floors, it was marvellous. When he asked how this could be afforded the Greek said; "You see that bridge over there?" The Spaniard replied; "No."

What did the Spanish sauce say to the English sauce?

Soy sauce.

I always say mucho to my Spanish friends

It means alot to them

A Spanish man who spoke no English went into a department store...

A Spanish man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

"Quiero calcetines" said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here." said the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines." said the man.

"Well, these shirts are on sale this week." declared the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines." repeated the man.

"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack." offered the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines." insisted the man.

"These sweaters are top quality." the salesgirl probed.

"No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines." said the man.

"Our undershirts are over here." fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience.

"No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines." the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed "Eso sΓ­ que es!".

"Well, if you could spell it, why didn't you do that in the beginning?" asked the exasperated salesgirl.

We should say mucho to all spanish speakers in this sub

it means a lot to them for sure.

A priest, a rabbi and penguin walk into a bar

IT'S THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

Interviewer: Name one of your accomplishments

Applicant:Well I discovered aliens, outside my house and managed to learn their language.
Interviewer:That seems rather complicated...
Applicant:Well Spanish isn't hard to learn sir.

The most well known person in the world

Some Spanish guy named "Manual"... A copy of his autobiography, printed in multiple languages, comes free with every electronic device or machinery... although much of his life story is lost in translation.

I need a joke in to tell my Hispanic manager!

I tried telling my boss a corny joke but he said he didn't get it because it was too 'American'(his words not mine). So i told him I'd find a joke in Spanish and try telling him it. I want to make my boss laugh so help me out guys! So if you know any work friendly jokes in Spanish post them here with a translation. Thanks!

Asked my Spanish friend if he liked any letters in the alphabet.

"C," he said. "E, too."

English, French, Spanish, German

Four guys, one English, one French, one Spanish and one German are walking down the road.
They come to a square where a large crowd has gathered. They realise that a street performer is currently performing there, but they cannot see him because of the crowd.
So the English guy shouts, "We can't see you!"
Since everyone is quiet and watching his performance, the performer hears this. He pushes over a nearby table, stands on it and asks, "How about now?"
And the four guys reply,
"Yes." "We." "See". "Ya."

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes