Spanish English Jokes
57 spanish english jokes and hilarious spanish english puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spanish english that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Spanish English Short Jokes
Short spanish english jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spanish english humour may include short english spanish jokes also.
- In a huge lecture hall once I only had four international students turn up - English, French, Spanish and German. I asked if they could all see me. They said... Yes, Oui, Si, Ja
- What do English speakers yell when they're on a rollercoaster? Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
What do Spanish speakers yell when they're on a roller coaster?
Nosotros!!!!! - I was surprised to see that the first chapter of the otherwise English novel was written entirely in Spanish But then again, no one expects the Spanish exposition.
- The word Algo may not sound familiar to English speakers. But in Spanish it really means something.
- I wonder if stereotypically romantic Spanish characters...talk in pauses...because they learned...how to speak English...by watching...the subtitles...of romantic movies.
- How many mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Juan.
*SPOILER* - For those who dont get it, if u say "juan" in spanish, it sounds like "one" in english. - English speakers yell "yes" or "yeah" when excited. Spanish speakers yell "sí".... ...French speakers sound like they're going down rollercoasters.
- How do you say? How do you say ''Hablas Español'' in English?
Do you speak Spanish?
No, that's why I'm asking? - An English speaking man is dating a Spanish speaking women He makes sure to tell her "mucho" every day. It means a lot to her.
- A Spanish man who doesn't speak English says to a Mexican woman, "Lady, I want to make the love with you," and she says, "Mande?" and he says, "No Monday, today."
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Spanish English One Liners
Which spanish english one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spanish english? I can suggest the ones about spanish language and spanish speaking.
- I've getting feedback that my jokes are in broken English, so here's one in Spanish. uno.
- What did the Spanish sauce say to the English sauce? Soy sauce.
- Does Spanish have anything in common with English? No
- How do you convert Spanish programming into English? Yes++
- No means no. -page 47 of my Spanish to English dictionary
- Why did the English majors switch to Spanish? Too many persuasive esses.
- I'm writing an English to Spanish self defense book. It's called " No means no."
- READ THESE LETTERS IN ENGLISH FOR FUNNY PHRASE IN SPANISH 2 T N S L P P B N T S O
- I asked my Spanish teacher what "no se" meant in English.. ..he said he didn't know.
- What's the most 'Spoken' language on Earth? Hint: It's not English Spanish.
Hilarious Fun Spanish English Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about spanish english you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mexican english jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spanish english pranks.
Chuck Norris speaks english, french, spanish, italian and portuguese.
At the same time in every sentence.
Computer gender joke
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is impossible to understand for everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group concluded that computers should be masculine ("el computador"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem;
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Another joke translated to English from my Uncle.
Little "peter" was in class when his teacher was talking about fruits, and she brought up the question, "Which fruits can be s**... on or smothered?"
A boy raised his hand and said, "An orange!" The teacher replied, "yes, correct!"
A girl raised her hand as-well and said, "A peach, teacher!" To which the teacher also agreed.
Finally, little Peter raised his hand and said, "A set of PJ's!"
The teacher, confused, said, "no, you cant s**... PJ's..."
Peter quickly replied, "Then why did the other night my Mom told my Dad, 'take off your pj's cause I'm going to s**... it."
It's better in Spanish = \
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
spanish oysters
An English man stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Andalucía.
While sipping his beer, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.
He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'
The waiter replied, 'Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's t**..., from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'
The man said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.'
The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'
The next morning, the man returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor.
Sometimes the bull wins.
Que dijo la persona que estaba callendo de un edificio muy muy alto en diciembre?
Feliz gravidad!
(Translation: What did the person falling from the very very tall building in december say?
Happy Gravity!)
Hear are sum morre punny science jokes
How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.
Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.
The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.
Chemistry puns Im in my element.
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium
Ion-estly cant think of anymore... All the good ones Argon!
Edit 1 just thought of this.
What does Barium Cobalt and Nitrogen make?
BaCoN
A Spanish man who spoke no English went into a department store...
A Spanish man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.
"Quiero calcetines" said the man.
"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here." said the salesgirl.
"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines." said the man.
"Well, these shirts are on sale this week." declared the salesgirl.
"No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines." repeated the man.
"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack." offered the salesgirl.
"No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines." insisted the man.
"These sweaters are top quality." the salesgirl probed.
"No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines." said the man.
"Our undershirts are over here." fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience.
"No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines." the man repeated.
As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed "Eso sí que es!".
"Well, if you could spell it, why didn't you do that in the beginning?" asked the exasperated salesgirl.
A half-Spanish, half-English couple who are obsessed with Les Miserables have a baby.
Juande Moore
My chemistry teacher pulled this on us today.
We were reviewing balancing chemical equations and got onto the topic of changing the names of compounds into their symbols so we could start balancing them. My teacher starts, "Changing names into symbols, is very much like translating Spanish into English. Maria estudia. Maria studies. Carlos va a la biblioteca. Carlos goes to the library. Now I would have said prison but I don't know how to say that in Spanish."
English, French, Spanish, German
Four guys, one English, one French, one Spanish and one German are walking down the road.
They come to a square where a large crowd has gathered. They realise that a street performer is currently performing there, but they cannot see him because of the crowd.
So the English guy shouts, "We can't see you!"
Since everyone is quiet and watching his performance, the performer hears this. He pushes over a nearby table, stands on it and asks, "How about now?"
And the four guys reply,
"Yes." "We." "See". "Ya."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman decides to call her friend in a foreign language while waiting in line at a grocery store.
When she finishes, a racist American man gets annoyed.
The man says, "You have to speak English in God's forsaken land of America! If you want to speak Spanish, go back to Mexico!"
The woman says, "I was speaking Navajo. If you want to speak English, go back to England."
TIFU by turning on the closed captioning in Spanish instead of in English.
Whoops, wrong sub.
How many times should you check whether a sentence is written in English or Spanish?
Once.
A blonde tells her friend
"I completed a jigsaw puzzle in record time!"
"No way! How long did it take you?" Replied her friend
"6 months"
"That cannot be a record time!'
" Well the box said from 1 to 3 years"
Sorry for bad English, original was in Spanish
Manatees
A Spanish sailor and a French sailor are talking at a port bar together. The French sailor tells the Spanish sailor that he's been hearing stories of mermaids from the English sailors. The Spanish sailor says that mermaids are just a myth and the English just mistook manatees for mermaids. The French sailor asks how could you mistake a manatee for a mermaid? The Spanish sailor responds "Have you seen English women?"
Jesus walks into a bar
The barman looks up and asks "We don't serve wine here"
Jesus looks at him quizzically and goes to look for a Spanish translator because he had just immigrated from Mexico and English was not his first language.
The Spanish girl uttered some English phrases in excellent fluency...
Apparently, "You're really working on my tongue!" was not an appropriate compliment.
A Spanish guy is shopping in London...
A Spanish man went into a clothing store where the salesperson only spoke English. Walking up to the nearest sales clerk, the man said, Quiero calcetines, por favor. The clerk shook his head and said, I don't speak Spanish.
The sales clerk and the man walked around the store, the clerk pointing at jackets, sweaters, pants, and shoes, hoping to find what the Spanish man needed. Finally, the clerk pointed at a table of socks, and the Spanish man exclaimed, Eso, si que es! Wide-eyed, the sales clerk said, If you could spell it, why didn't you say so before!
An English kid, a Spanish kid and a Chinese kid are in nursery school together...
The teacher asks: What does the doggy say?
The English kid replies: Woof Woof!
The Spanish kid replies: Guau Guau!
The Chinese kid replies: Sizzle Sizzle!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Overheard while standing in line at the grocery store.
A woman was standing in line talking on her cell phone in another language. Ahead of her is a white man. After the woman hangs up he turns to her:
Man: "I didn't want to say anything while you were on the phone but you are in America now. You need to speak English."
Woman: "Excuse me?"
Man: *talks slow-* If you want to speak Spanish, go back to Mexico. In America, we speak English."
Woman: "Sir, I was speaking Navajo. If you want to speak English, go back to England."
Why did the waiter delay until after converting English menus to Spanish to announce they weren't the gender everyone thought?
Because they were happy to serve as trans later.
🤣🤣🤣
To a Hispanic, I tried to speak a Spanish sentence. He then slapped me in the face.
My English friend asked me if what I said was offensive.
I assured my friend that it was not offensive. I told him that I said "abofetearme en la cara."
Still my funniest joke
A man is hosting a radio program and he wants to call a random person to ask for their favourite song in order to play it on the radio. So the random guy says " well I just want to say that I found a person's wallet on the street" and the host tells him " well do you want to share the owner's name so we can return the wallet?" And the random guy responds " no I just want to dedicate him a song" (sorry for my English I'm Spanish) :)
My dad tried to translate a joke from Spanish to English once.
His English translation:
There was a man driving his Mercedes on a deserted road at night. He reached an old rickety bridge that didn't look strong enough to hold his car. He got out and went to inspect the bridge, and stomped all the way to the other side to make sure it was safe. He decided it was, and turned back to his car and said Mercedes, come.
That's is that's the joke.
Fun fact, in Spanish, the word for -come- is ven and in Spanish, the v sound is pronounced more like the b sound. Mercedes Benz... get it.
Not all jokes translate well.
A man is at a police station to file a case.
The cop asked, "¿Mataste al persona?"
To the man replied, "I don't speak Spanish, can you repeat it in English please?"
Cop: "¿Estabas allí cuando ocurrió el asesinato?"
Man: "I don't speak Spanish Sir, I can't understand what you're saying at all."
Cop: "¿Conocías al víctima?"
Man: "ENOUGH! I'm here to file a case and I DID NOT EXPECT A SPANISH INQUISITON AT ALL!"
While on a vacation in a foreign country, a man begins to drown in a lake
Suddenly, he sees two people walking by. He realises that he doesn't know the language.
"Help! Help!" he screams in English, to no reaction.
"Hilfe! Hilfe", he tries German. No reaction either.
" Socorro! Socorro!" he tries Spanish.
The people do nothing, so he drowns. As both passerby are walking away, one turns to another and says: "What do you think... should we learn another language?"
"Why? This guy spoke three languages and it didn't help him a bit"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman is talking on her phone while waiting in line at the bank.
After she gets off the call, the man behind her taps her on the shoulder and says, "I didn't want to interrupt your call, but next time you need to speak in English"
"Excuse me?" the woman replied.
"This is America," the man said, "We speak English in America. If you wanna speak Spanish, you can go back to Mexico."
"Sir, I was speaking Navajo, which was a language of this country long before you came here," the woman replied, "If you want to speak English, you can go back to England"
