Spangled Jokes

Hilarious puns and funny pick up lines

A drunk man is at a bar and tells everyone he can fart the Star Spangled Banner...

The bartender says "go ahead!"

The man stands on the bar completely naked and proceeds to shit all over the bar.

The bartender says "What the hell did you do that for?"

The drunk then says "C'mon! Even Frank Sinatra has to clear his throat before a performance!"

A Octopus with skills

An Octopus walks into a bar and announces
"I can play any instrument you hand me with perfection"
The bartender hands him a guitar and he plays "star spangled banner" just like Jimi Hendrix
Next a customer hands him trumpet and he plays "a night in Tunisia" by Dizzy Gillespie
Finally, a Scotsman hands him a Bagpipe, the Octopus starts fumbling around with it, rolling on the floor, flipping and jumping
The Scotsman says "ah, so there IS an instrument you can't play!"
The Octopus replies "play her? I'm gonna fuck her as soon as I can get her pajamas off!"

What do you call the Hulk when he wears Captain America's outfit?

The Star Spangled Banner

A man walks into a pet store and sees a very expensive parrot...

A man walks into a pet store and sees a $3000 parrot...

"Wow, that's expensive", the man says to the clerk. The clerk responds that this particular parrot is very talented. "How so?", questioned the man.

"Well, if you pull on his right leg", he'll sing The Star Spangled Banner. So the man pulls the right leg and the parrot belted out the first few lines of the anthem.

"And if you pull on the left leg he'll recite the first line of Moby Dick". So the man pulls the left leg and the bird says clear as day "Call me Ishmael"

Impressive, thought the man. "What happens when I pull both legs"?

To which the parrot replied "I'll fall on my ass you prick"

Twist

A guy walks into a bar.

The bartender points to a young woman sitting at a table and says to the guy, She'll give you a blowjob and sing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time for 20 bucks. (This is difficult to do.)

The guy goes, I have to see this for myself. He walks over to the woman and slips her a 20. She takes him to a back room and turns off the light so it's pitch black in the room. Believe it or not, she actually does it.

While they're in the middle of things, the guy says, How do you do that? The singing is so clear! She responds, It's a secret.

The guy decides he has to see this for himself, so when they're done, he turns on the light and sees her popping in a glass eye.

What do you get when Hulk holds the American Flag?

The Star Spangled Banner!

Me friend said you are what you eat.

As they asked I replied: star spangled ding dongs.

Marvel just confirmed that the Incredible Hulk will be replacing Captain America

He will be called the Star Spangled BANNER

Lighthearted talk about patriotism...

is Star Spangled Banter

If The Hulk took over for Captain America...

Would he be a Star Spangled Banner?

What are the funniest spangled jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Spangled? Well, here are the best Spangled puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Spangled pick up lines to share with friends.

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