Span Jokes
120 span jokes and hilarious span puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about span that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make funny jokes about the attention span, the temporary nature of relapse, outdoor activity, and lifespan with this collection of Span Jokes. Enjoy these lighthearted puns and short one-liners as you connect with friends and family.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Span Short Jokes
Short span jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The span humour may include short paces jokes also.
- Millennials have such short attention spans Says the generation that got bored of going to the moon by the third time
- TIL the next Star Wars movie will debut a new droid with a comically-short attention span. Its name is 80-HD
- Have you heard the joke from the kid with short attention-span? He didn't even finish his j---
- Life Span Doctor told me i have a bad ilness and he gave me 2 weeks to live, i shot him...... judge gave me 25 years
- "Honey, our son has very short attention span, we must do something about it!" "Maybe we could send him to a concentration camp or something?"
- What is the controlling design factor for the ceiling of a study room? The attention span.
- The foreman at my bridge construction site is always rushing things. But when I got the beams set ahead of schedule he didn't believe me. Nobody expects the span is in position.
- I have a friend who is 4' 9" so I always tell her short jokes... ...because she doesn't have a long attention span.
*fixed* - My grandma has been seeing a shrink recently and things only seem to be getting worse for her She's gone from 5'2" to 4'9" in the span of two weeks!
- Layman's guide to the ages... BC: Before conception
AD: After death
*short span in the middle can be ignored...
Share These Span Jokes With Friends
Span One Liners
Which span one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with span? I can suggest the ones about strap and scope.
- I often worry about my attention span. But never for long.
- I have the attention span of a gold fish It's been staring at me for several minutes now.
- What happens when you lose you attention span in school You gain your detention span
- Why do some photographers have such short attention spans? Becuse they have a 80D
- What's a Vulcan's favorite cleaner? Spock n' Span
- The trouble with one-liners is that most people's attention spans are too short.
- How long is an owl's life span? Only about six and a half books.
- Who are the longest Europeans? Span-yards.
- What has a shorter life span than an Anti-Vax mom? Her child
- Where does one watch the House of Cards? C-SPAN
- My attention span is so bad, I
- I have the attention span of a fly
- What do we want? Longer attention spans!
When do we want them?
SQUIRREL! - Vern Troyer died today... I wonder if Little people have Shorter life spans?
- (Offensive) Why are so many cleaning ladies Mexican? They make everything s**... and span.
Attention Span Jokes
Here is a list of funny attention span jokes and even better attention span puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why does Lando Calrissian have a Short Attention Span? He's always got his head in the Clouds.
Share Hilarious Span Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about span you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean slot jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make span pranks.
What did the spanish soccer announcer invest in?
**GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD**
A Spanish pirate walks into a bar... [OC]
A Spanish pirate walks into a bar, and he appears down in the dumps. The bartender notices this and asks,
"Aye, what'll ye be havin'?"
"Agua, por favor."
"Hm, whatever floats yer boat, lad."
"...Sí."
The Spanish national soccer team visited an orphanage in Brazil today
"It was hard to see their sad and hopeless faces", said one of the orphans
What is a Spanish person without a car called?
Carlos
A Spanish, Greek and portuguese man go to a bar. Who pays for the drinks?
The German!
A spanish magician ...
A spanish magician gets on stage and says "I will disappear in 3 seconds." He counts: "Uno, Dos." And he disappeared without a tres.
The Spanish magician
So there's this Spanish magician right and he says "I'll make myself disappear on the count of three".
"Unos..... Dos...." *BANG!" in a cloud of smoke he disappeared without a Tres.
I went to see a Spanish magician
I went to see a Spanish magician and he told the crowd that he could make himself disappear on the count of three.
He started counting.
"Uno! Dos!"
And then he was gone. Without a tres.
A Spanish speaking magician
A Spanish speaking magician says that he will disappear on the count of three. "Uno.. Dos.." and p**...! He was gone without a tres.
Why do Spanish men get half price movie tickets?
They take the señor discount.
There was a Spanish magician who said he could disappear.
He said he would disappear on the count of 3.
He said "Unos... Dos..."
**p**...**
And then he disappeared without a tres.
A Spanish magician says he can make himself disappear on the count of 3
Uno, dos... Suddenly the magician disappears without a tres.
Spanish Dad Joke
A mexican father and son were at the mall and the son finally convinced his dad to try Chinese food.
"But it's so dry!" said the father.
"No it's not, they put lots of stuff on their plates," replied the son.
"Like what?" the father asked.
"Soy Sauce" he answered.
The father stared for a minute and then said, "Hola Sauce... *soy Dad*"
A Spanish magician is at a party
He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, "uno, dos," p**....
He disappeared without a tres.
How do you tell the difference between a Northern and a Southern zoo?
A Northern zoo has a large plaque in front of each animal cage. The plaque list the genus, species, common name, average life span, habitat and diet of the animal.
A Southern zoo has a recipe in from of each animal cage.
What did the Spanish boy leaving for the city say to his father?
Ciudad!
Spanish is a beautiful language.
You don't say "I love you" in Spanish, you say "Yo quiero comer culo" which translates to "you are the light of my life." I think it is one of the most beautiful things to say to someone.
What does a spanish programmer program in?
Si++
My Spanish teacher taught me the word for "Transgender"
I asked him if the word is masculine or feminine
A Spanish magician announced that for his final trick, he would vanish into thin air. He counted down: uno, dos, then p**...!
He was gone, without a tres.
I once saw a Spanish magician...
He told the audience that he was going to make his hat disappear on the count of three. So he tapped it with his wand and said, "Uno, dos," and it disappeared without a très.
There was a Spanish magician...
And he was performing for a crowd. He told the crowd that he would dissapear into thin air. So he counted:
UNO!
DOS!
And he dissapeared without a tres.
A Spaniard, a Frenchman, an Englishman, and a German are walking down a street in Paris...
... when they see a mime. He calls them over and asks if they want to see him perform. The group respond with a cheerful yes and the mime begins his performance. He gets up on a box and asks the group if they can clearly see him.
The group says:
*"Yes"*
*"Oui"*
*"Si"*
*"Ja"*
Why did the Spanish guy rob a train?
He had a *loco*-motive
We're doing Spanish jokes now?
My buddy told me this one:
¿Como se cambie el s**... de un burro?
Enciérralo en un cuarto hasta que se aburra.
What did the Spanish tourist say when he saw a p**... after arriving in Pakistan?
Lahore
How does a spanish condiment identify itself?
Soy sauce
Why was the spanish conductor arrested?
He had some loco motives
What did the Spanish teach say to the student that couldn't roll his "R"s?
Nothing, she just rolled her "I"s.
What did the Spanish photon say when it had finally had enough of being the electromagnetic force carrier?
No mas.
A spanish magician announces he's going to disappear at the count of three...
So he goes "UNO!... DOS!..."
And then he vanishes without a tres.
Spanish Dad Joke
Dad: Son what are you drinking?
Son: Soy Milk
Dad: Hola Milk, me llamo Dad
Why did the Spanish police wake up and arrive early?
So they could beat the crowd
A Spanish madman recently bombed a train station...
Everybody's saying he had loco motives.
Why did the Spanish Psychopath only kill on trains?
Because he had a locomotive
A Spanish magician said "I am going to disappear on a count to three..."
"Uno.... Dos...." and he disappears, without a tres
A Spanish magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3
He says uno, dos... then p**..., he disappears without a tres
I saw a Spanish magician last night.. he said "uno, dos.."
And then he disappeared without a tres
In Spanish, why are computers "la computadora" and not "el computadoro"?
Because they think they know everything.
If I s**... Dwayne Johnson...
does that mean I hit Rock bottom?
I'd like to thank my Spanish teacher for spending so much time teaching me what mucho means
It really means a lot
A spanish magician is putting on a show
A spanish magician is putting on a show. He says to his audience, I am going to make myself disappear! He then starts counting off, unos, dos and then he vanished. He left without a tres.
My Spanish-speaking students got a kick out of this one.
Q: What do you call a person who speaks 3 languages?
A: (Try to elicit responses..) Tri-Lingual.
Q: What do you call a person who speaks two languages?
A: (Many of them know this one) Bi-Lingual.
Q: What do you call a person who speaks one language?
A: An American!
Why do Spanish-speakers only use the fire extinguisher when they burn the cheese?
Because they were told, only use in queso emergency
A Spanish magician told told his audience "On the count of 3 I will make myself disappear! UNO.... DOS....
And *p**...* he was gone without a tres.
A Spanish Magician
A Spanish Magician said that he would preform a final trick for his audience. He told them that he would disappear in three seconds. He counted, "uno, dos," and left without a tres.
What did the Spanish yogi say when he broke up with his girlfriend?
No mas stay.
Spanish Stores End in "ía"
For instance, florists is florería. Lavandería is a laundromat. But what do you call Taco Bell for short?
Diarrhoea
What happens when a spaniard sits on wet grass?
He gets a gracias.
A Spaniard & a Russian were chatting up a woman at a bar
The Spaniard made many passes but it was the Russian who scored.
What does a Spanish man put under his carpets?
Underlay, underlay!
A Spanish magician told the crowd he'll make himself vanish on the count of 3. He goes "Uno, dos...
And *p**...*..... He disappeared without a tres.
In Spanish the gender of the word for water changes depending on if it is singular or plural. El Agua, Las Aguas.
I guess that means it is gender fluid.
A Spanish magician was showing a trick..
"For my next trick, I'll disappear into thin air. Uno, dos."
And he vanished without a tres!
"How much do you know in Spanish?" I asked my friend.
He said, "¿Cuánto sabes?"
I said, "What does that mean?"
"'How much do you know?' Just like you asked for," he replied.
Where do spanish fish live?
In the sí
What's a spanish bow called?
An elbow
A Spanish magician was about to attempt a vanishing act...
"On the count of 3, I will have vanished from the stage!"
"Uno!"
"Dos!"
\*p**...\*
He disappeared without a tres!
What did the Spanish guy say when he saw original content?
Oh si
What do Spanish programmers code in?
Si ++
The Spanish Magician
A Spanish magician says he will disappear on the count of 3.
"Uno, dos, p**...."
He disappeared without a tres.
My Spanish girlfriend wanted a better TV
So I arrived home and set it up.
Turns out she said Por Que instead of 4K.
Spanish pigs say "oinc-oinc".
French pigs say "Oinque"
Japanese pigs say "Oinku"
American pigs say "STOP RESISTING"
A Spanish Magician says he will count to 3 and disappear.
"Uno, Dos" and he disappeared without a tres.
I used to have a Spanish girlfriend called Nada
She meant nothing to me
There is a Spanish family on holiday in England
When they are in England, the trains are packed and everyone is drunk and half n**.... Everywhere is mayhem and the little Spanish boy is confused why. "Dad, why is everyone celebrating, is there an event or something happening?" The dad replies, "The sun has come out."
Have you ever seen a Spanish Muslim?
Once you see juan, you see jamal.
What did the Spanish sauce say to the English sauce?
Soy sauce.
Why did the spanish take his anti-anxiety pills ?
For hispanic attacks.
What do Spanish people call leftover beef?
Reincarne
A Spanish magician was doing a magic trick. He said, Uno, dos…
and he disappeared without a trace.
Why did the Spanish train driver c**... into an insane asylum?
Nobody is sure, but the doctors said they saw a loco motive
My Spanish teacher asked me to turn in my essay
But I ain't no snitch
Spanish Magician
A Spanish magician announced to his audience that "he would disappear on the count of three" then said "uno, dos" and then disappeared without a tres.
My Spanish teacher's husband died last week
I approached her in class and said "Mucho"
"Thanks," she said, "that means a lot."
"Tanto."
"Oh my," she replied. "Thank you, that means so much."
"El mundo."
"Thank you so much," she said, "what you've said means the world."
Spanish word of the day..
Muchos.
Thanks for reading. It means a lot to me.
