Span Jokes
119 span jokes and hilarious span puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about span that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make funny jokes about the attention span, the temporary nature of relapse, outdoor activity, and lifespan with this collection of Span Jokes. Enjoy these lighthearted puns and short one-liners as you connect with friends and family.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Span Short Jokes
Short span jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The span humour may include short scope jokes also.
- Millennials have such short attention spans Says the generation that got bored of going to the moon by the third time
- TIL the next Star Wars movie will debut a new droid with a comically-short attention span. Its name is 80-HD
- Life Span Doctor told me i have a bad ilness and he gave me 2 weeks to live, i shot him...... judge gave me 25 years
- What is the controlling design factor for the ceiling of a study room? The attention span.
- The foreman at my bridge construction site is always rushing things. But when I got the beams set ahead of schedule he didn't believe me. Nobody expects the span is in position.
- I have a friend who is 4' 9" so I always tell her short jokes... ...because she doesn't have a long attention span.
*fixed* - My grandma has been seeing a shrink recently and things only seem to be getting worse for her She's gone from 5'2" to 4'9" in the span of two weeks!
- Layman's guide to the ages... BC: Before conception
AD: After death
*short span in the middle can be ignored... - Kahn Noonien Singh has appeared in Star Trek from 1967 to 2013, spanning many generations of viewers. This is an example of a "Long Kahn".
- Why does Lando Calrissian have a Short Attention Span? He's always got his head in the Clouds.
Share These Span Jokes With Friends
Span One Liners
Which span one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with span? I can suggest the ones about slot and spinner.
- I often worry about my attention span. But never for long.
- I have the attention span of a gold fish It's been staring at me for several minutes now.
- What happens when you lose you attention span in school You gain your detention span
- Why do some photographers have such short attention spans? Becuse they have a 80D
- What's a Vulcan's favorite cleaner? Spock n' Span
- The trouble with one-liners is that most people's attention spans are too short.
- Where does one watch the House of Cards? C-SPAN
- My attention span is so bad, I
- I have the attention span of a fly
- What do we want? Longer attention spans!
When do we want them?
SQUIRREL! - Who are the longest Europeans? Span-yards.
- (Offensive) Why are so many cleaning ladies Mexican? They make everything s**... and span.
- What has a shorter life span than an Anti-Vax mom? Her child
- Vern Troyer died today... I wonder if Little people have Shorter life spans?
- Best thing i've heard all day What do you call a clean mexican?
s**... and Span
Share Hilarious Span Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about span you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spec jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make span pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Spanish man with no legs say?
No soporto
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the spanish soccer announcer invest in?
**GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I never could get into spanking as a f**....
But, you know, different strokes for different folks.
A Spanish pirate walks into a bar...
A Spanish pirate walks into a bar, and he appears down in the dumps. The bartender notices this and asks,
"Aye, what'll ye be havin'?"
"Agua, por favor."
"Hm, whatever floats yer boat, lad."
"...Sí."
The Spanish national soccer team visited an orphanage in Brazil today
"It was hard to see their sad and hopeless faces", said one of the orphans
What is a Spanish person without a car called?
Carlos
Why was the Spanish train the primary suspect?
It had locomotive.
(I'm not sorry)
I think my Spanish girlfriend is cheating on me
She keeps talking about this "great" guy names Jesus
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Spanish people does it take to change a light bulb?
Just Juan.
In spanish...
it only takes one to tengo.
Why are Spanish trains so crazy?
Because they're loco-motives
A Spanish-speaking sailor met Poseidon and asked the God of the Water if he was wet all the time?
Poseidon: "Sea, Señor!"
How would a Spanish person describe a photon?
No mas.
A Spaniard moves to Canada. After his flight lands, he goes to get some dinner.
He orders pork. A local asks him why.
Why did the Spanish train aficionado blow up his trains?
He had loco motives.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Spanish men get half price movie tickets?
They take the señor discount.
Why do Spanish beaches have a lot of women?
Cos they're playas.
Spanish Dad Joke
A mexican father and son were at the mall and the son finally convinced his dad to try Chinese food.
"But it's so dry!" said the father.
"No it's not, they put lots of stuff on their plates," replied the son.
"Like what?" the father asked.
"Soy Sauce" he answered.
The father stared for a minute and then said, "Hola Sauce... *soy Dad*"
What do Spanish Canadians put on their tacos?
Pork, eh?
[Spanish w/ translation] ¿Cual es es la risa más picante?
Ahí Ahí Ahí
Translation: What is the spiciest laugh?
Pepper pepper pepper
What did the Spanish boy leaving for the city say to his father?
Ciudad!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Spanish is a beautiful language.
You don't say "I love you" in Spanish, you say "Yo quiero comer culo" which translates to "you are the light of my life." I think it is one of the most beautiful things to say to someone.
What did the Spannish Amoeba said to the other Amoebas?
"Hola Amoebas!"
My Spanish teacher taught me the word for "Transgender"
I asked him if the word is masculine or feminine
I once saw a Spanish magician...
He told the audience that he was going to make his hat disappear on the count of three. So he tapped it with his wand and said, "Uno, dos," and it disappeared without a très.
What did the Spanish teacher say to the short story?
What's up essay?
I know a Spanish philosopher and he lives in my kitchen...
His name is Plato.
Here's another one in Spanish
Uno
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We're doing Spanish jokes now?
My buddy told me this one:
¿Como se cambie el s**... de un burro?
Enciérralo en un cuarto hasta que se aburra.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Spanish tourist say when he saw a p**... after arriving in Pakistan?
Lahore
How does a spanish condiment identify itself?
Soy sauce
Why was the spanish conductor arrested?
He had some loco motives
What did the Spanish teach say to the student that couldn't roll his "R"s?
Nothing, she just rolled her "I"s.
What did the Spanish photon say when it had finally had enough of being the electromagnetic force carrier?
No mas.
What did the spaniard who lives life on the edge speak?
Espanyolo
Why do all spanish like shellfish?
Because it's Si-food...
I know just enough Spanish...
To embarazar myself.
A spanish magician announces he's going to disappear at the count of three...
So he goes "UNO!... DOS!..."
And then he vanishes without a tres.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the Spanish kill off the Incans?
Because they were an Incanvenience...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was the spanish train engineer being accused of m**...?
He had a locomotive.
Why did the Spanish police wake up and arrive early?
So they could beat the crowd
A Spanish madman recently bombed a train station...
Everybody's saying he had loco motives.
Why did the Spanish Psychopath only kill on trains?
Because he had a locomotive
In Spanish, why are computers "la computadora" and not "el computadoro"?
Because they think they know everything.
Did you know that the Spanish-speaking population of Canada knows how to unplug from technology once in a while, do nothing, and learn to be bored with their free time?
That's right, they can nada.
I'd like to thank my Spanish teacher for spending so much time teaching me what mucho means
It really means a lot
My Spanish-speaking students got a kick out of this one.
Q: What do you call a person who speaks 3 languages?
A: (Try to elicit responses..) Tri-Lingual.
Q: What do you call a person who speaks two languages?
A: (Many of them know this one) Bi-Lingual.
Q: What do you call a person who speaks one language?
A: An American!
Why do Spanish-speakers only use the fire extinguisher when they burn the cheese?
Because they were told, only use in queso emergency
A Spanish teacher is at the grocery store-
-and as he's shopping he sees a sign exclaiming "Soy milk!"
So he stops and says, "Hola milk! Soy Ricardo!"
What did the Spanish yogi say when he broke up with his girlfriend?
No mas stay.
Spanish Stores End in "ía"
For instance, florists is florería. Lavandería is a laundromat. But what do you call Taco Bell for short?
Diarrhoea
A Spaniard flew to Argentina, at the airport in Buenos Aires he asked a local,
..."Donde puedo coger un taxi?" And the porteño shrugged, pointed to the exhaust and said "por el tubo"
What happens when a spaniard sits on wet grass?
He gets a gracias.
A Spaniard & a Russian were chatting up a woman at a bar
The Spaniard made many passes but it was the Russian who scored.
In Spanish the gender of the word for water changes depending on if it is singular or plural. El Agua, Las Aguas.
I guess that means it is gender fluid.
What do Spaniards put under their carpets?
Underlay, underlay!
"How much do you know in Spanish?" I asked my friend.
He said, "¿Cuánto sabes?"
I said, "What does that mean?"
"'How much do you know?' Just like you asked for," he replied.
Why did the Spanish Mage never cast a spell?
Because his MPnada
Where do spanish fish live?
In the sí
I once took a Spanish class with someone who wanted to start a bilingual train company.
Talk about a real loco motive.
What's a spanish bow called?
An elbow
What did the Spanish guy say when he saw original content?
Oh si
What do Spanish programmers code in?
Si ++
My Spanish girlfriend wanted a better TV
So I arrived home and set it up.
Turns out she said Por Que instead of 4K.
Spanish pigs say "oinc-oinc".
French pigs say "Oinque"
Japanese pigs say "Oinku"
American pigs say "STOP RESISTING"
A Spanish greengrocer is 1.74 meters tall, has a waist circumference of 105 centimeters, and wears a size of 44. What does he weigh?
Vegetables
I used to have a Spanish girlfriend called Nada
She meant nothing to me
I want to know if this Spanish joke translates at all
What's the similarity between a boat, a firefighter and a family?
The boat and the firefighter have hard outer coverings (cascos).
*and the family?*
They're good, thanks for asking!
(Original Spanish)
¿Que se parece entre un bombero, un barco y una familia?
El bombero y el barco tienen cascos
*¿Y la familia?*
Bien, gracias.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
In Spanish:
¿Donde esta la bibliotecha?
¡Donde esta la bibliotecha!
What does a Spanish person call spilled noodles?
A derramen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
(Spanish Joke, but translated)
There's this lady who has a dog named Mytits ( like my t**... )
One day, this dog runs away and the lady looses her dog. She then goes to a policeman and asks
- Have you seen Mytits?
- No, but I would love to see them
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There is a Spanish family on holiday in England
When they are in England, the trains are packed and everyone is drunk and half n**.... Everywhere is mayhem and the little Spanish boy is confused why. "Dad, why is everyone celebrating, is there an event or something happening?" The dad replies, "The sun has come out."
Have you ever seen a Spanish Muslim?
Once you see juan, you see jamal.
What did the Spanish sauce say to the English sauce?
Soy sauce.
What do Spanish people call leftover beef?
Reincarne
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the Spanish train driver c**... into an insane asylum?
Nobody is sure, but the doctors said they saw a loco motive
