Spain Jokes
124 spain jokes and hilarious spain puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spain that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a good laugh? Look no further than these funny Spain jokes! From jokes about Lepe, Spain to jokes about Spanish cuisine, these humorous quips are perfect for a fun night in. Plus, compare Spain to Italy and Denmark for extra giggles - especially when it comes to their fjords! Put a smile on everyone's face today with these hilarious Spain jokes.
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Funniest Spain Short Jokes
Short spain jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spain humour may include short cuisine jokes also.
- People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
- My Daughter asked me "dad, why don't you treat me like a princess." So I married her off to the king of Spain in exchange for 5000 acres on the Costa del Sol.
- I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football. Nobody expects the spanish in position.
- England fans must be pretty happy right now. They've been waiting years for their team to play like Spain.
- My uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain He come out late at night to ring people's doorbells.
Because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician - My girlfriend told me she was pregnant, so I started looking for some names... ...in the end I chose Juan Carlos and took the first flight to Spain.
- People are always amazed at the skilled tattoo artists in Spain. No one expects the Spanish ink precision
- Why was Portugal the best colonial power? Spain had thousands of colonists, Britain had millions, but Portugal had BRAZILIANS.
- Tattoos People are amazed at how good the tattoo artists are in Spain........
They weren't expecting the Spanish ink precision - I let some of my friends use my high quality printer from Spain. When I told them where it was from, they all gasped in shock. Because no-one expects the Spanish ink precision!
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Spain One Liners
Which spain one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spain? I can suggest the ones about tourist and emperor.
- What do they call Pringles in Spain? Pr*español*
- The dumpling took a trip to Spain and came back feeling empanada.
- Grandmother's in a better place now... Her plane landed in Spain half an hour ago.
- My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain. Adios Omegas.
- If England wins to Costa Rica, it could face Spain... ...at the airport.
- What language do dogs speak in Spain? ...Espaniel
- Do you know what the last result of the World Cup was? Spain - 8 Ethiopia - didn't
- How do crayons made in Spain say hello? Crayhola.
- To all the people in Madrid that are hurting... I feel your Spain.
- Why does Spain have problems with pensions? Because they have lots of seniors there
- What does Captain America and Spain have in common? A horrific Civil War
- I can't stop traveling to Southern Spain. It's all so Moorish.
- I live in spain without... The spain, i don't live in spain
- Trump is not my president I live in Spain
- I don't really like food from Spain much but... To chicharrón I guess
Spain Italy Jokes
Here is a list of funny spain italy jokes and even better spain italy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was bowling with a friend and when it was his turn, I called out to him: "Germany, Italy, Spain, Norway!"
"What?" My friend said.
"Europe." - Soviet diplomats It would be great if in 1941 Italy, Romania, Finland and Spain, having shown solidarity with Germany, limited themselves to the expulsion of several Soviet diplomats.
- Spain, Greece, Italy, and Portugal walk into a bar. Who pays? Germoney.
Portugal Spain Jokes
Here is a list of funny portugal spain jokes and even better portugal spain puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Spain to Portugal keeper Nacho day!
Cheerful Fun Spain Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about spain you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spain pranks.
Colin was on a long drive from Portugal to Spain with this cute girl he liked. When Colin made a move and kept his arm on her shoulder. The girl winked and said you can go further.
Colin drove to France.
In Spain, "Die Hard" is called "La Jungla de Cristal"...
... it should have been called "Muerte Fuerte".
Why the Spainish love English class....
Essays
A woman has twins...
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." '
Two English Muslims go on holiday in Spain...
Two English Muslims go on a long holiday in Spain, and they're having a wonderful time until one day the weather turns and it rains for three days straight. On the fourth day, one of them looks out of the window in the morning.
"Ahmed, I think we can visit some of the local buildings today. We should bring an umbrella though."
"Ah, but Hissam, how is the weather looking on the forecast? Is it Sunni, or is it s**...'ite?"
Reindeer joke!
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer passed away today at the age of 57. He was struck by a 747 jet liner and a flock of seagulls as he flew over Barcelona. Coroners say that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
Hans meets an art dealer on vacation
A German man is on vacation in Spain. He sees a local man selling artwork, so he goes over and checks out his wares. He notices a print of Picasso's Guernica on an easel. The German asks did you do this? , to which the Spaniard replied, nope. you did.
How many Kings of Spain abdicated last week?
Just Juan
high five
I've just read that actor Orlando Bloom punched Justin Bieber last night during an argument at a nightclub in Spain.
Orlando complained that his hand was pretty sore today.
Apparently the entire nightclub had queued up to high-five him.
A girl calls a psychic saying:
*"I dreamed that I had one leg in Spain & the other in Germany. What does that mean?"*
Psychic: *"That you gonna pee on France"*
--------
^Français, ^je ^vous ^aime
^
The Twins
Ever heard of the twin boys seperated at birth? One was raised Spain and named Juan, the other in Egypt and named Amal.
They say, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
The Japanese soccer team visits an orphanage in Spain.
"It's so sad to see the hopeless looks on their faces", said Rico, age 6.
The company I worked for was bought out by a billionaire from Spain...
We didn't expect the Spanish Acquisition.
Spain, England and Ireland walk into a bar
Iceland could not make it, he was still at the Euro´s
Spain now have the messiest prisons in the world.
No messing.
What do criminal courts in Spain call community service?
Manuel labor
A German girl married a Spanish guy...
A German girl married a Spanish man and went to Spain. She can't speak Spanish at all. Each time she wants to buy chicken legs, she would lift her skirt and show her thighs to show the seller what she wants. This went on for sometime. One day she wanted to buy a banana so she took her husband to the shop.
Because her husband speaks Spanish very well
Why does Catalonia want to secede from Spain?
Because they can't Catalan with each other.
A man falls over and lands on a globe.
He heads to the doctors.
The doctor asks what's wrong.
"I've got this spain in my a**...."
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
How to know that a car is from Spain.
It's mañuel
The mailman told me he's off to Spain tomorrow...
So I asked him if he is off to Parcelona. He then proceeded to ignore what is my best joke of 2017.
Well did you say it right? The key to a good mailman's joke is the delivery.
If a man were born in Russia, raised in Spain, and buried in France, what would he be?
Dead.
Why is Spain so good at football (soccer)?
Because no one expects the Spanish in position!
When I flew from Spain to Cyprus, I thought it would cost a lot.
Turns out it was actually pretty Chipre.
So, I've been having really strange dreams about building small houses in Spain recently...
My doctor thinks I'm developing a complex!
A psychiatric patient believed he was running with the bulls.
He was mentally in Spain.
What does being Catalonian and not being acknowledged as an independent country feel like?
It Spain.
In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves
In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves, so they took it out to different countries for a test. In USA, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves,
UK, in 30 minutes it caught 500 thieves,
Spain in 20 minutes it caught 25 thieves :
Nigeria in 10 minutes it caught 6,000 thieves,
Uganda in 7 minutes it caught 20,000 thieves,
Then they brought it to South Africa , in 5 minutes the machine was stolen.
A Frenchman orders a coffee in Spain
Au lait
Francisco Nunez Olivera, the world's oldest man, died at his home in Spain – a month after celebrating his 113th birthday last Monday night...
I shall miss reading his jokes on here...
I went to a Starbucks in Spain and they asked what I wanted.
I said, "Soy latte."
They said, "OK, but what do you want to drink?"
On holiday in Spain I saw a sign saying English speaking doctors, I thought what a good idea/
We should have them in England.
I met my wife while I was on a buisness trip in Spain
then I said to her "What are you doing here?"
Santa was hit by an Airbus 747 while flying over Barcelona last night, and none of the flight crew survived
The doctors have confirmed that the reindeer in Spain were hit mainly by the plane.
- Credit to Colin Monchrie from "Whose Line Is It Anyway"
When people ask me where I got my well drawn tattoo, their always suprised when I say i got it in Spain.
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
Many people who go to Spain to get tattoos are surprised at how skilled the tattoo artists are.
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
People are often really surprised by the quality of tattoos available in Spain.
No one expects the Spanish ink precision.
I hate flying air Iberia
After all.. the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plane.
Watching the Russia Spain match was...
Spainful
Me: The mail man told me he was going on holidays to spain...
...so i asked was he going to Parcelona and he continued to ignore what I believe was my best joke of the year.
Dad: Well did you say it right? The key to a good mailman joke is the delivery
What do you call a donkey in a field in Spain, with no hind legs?
Grassy-a**...
The Mayor's meal
In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull's t**....
One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: Funny, why are they so small today?
The waiter: Today, sir, the bull won.
A first place winner at the International Pun Contest
A woman has identical twins and is forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're identical twins!
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal
I heard a rumor that the next Legend of Zelda game is to be set in a Hyrule version of Spain. No one believes me
They don't expect a Spanish Link decision
Nobody believes me when I tell them I had a splinter when touring Spain and a playful little kid helped get rid of it.
Nobody expects the Spanish imp incision.
Why are the people who flew from Spain always dry, even if it was raining there?
Because the rain in Spain stays mainly in the plane.
The French wanted more territory...
So they got ready to invade Spain
As the army crossed the border they were immediately ambushed and lost the battle.
Why?
Because nobody expects the Spanish in-position
Adoption Joke
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.
Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and Dennis Rodman are set to compete against each other in a wordplay competition in Spain
The Punning Of The Bulls
A woman had twins and put them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in eygpt and was named Amal. The other goes to a family in spain who name him Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband replies "Don't be sad. They're twins, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
Did you hear its now i**... to be in possession of a ballpoint pen in Spain?
That's the Spanish ink-position.
A man visits a hotel in Spain and injures himself in the room.
So he calls the front desk and asks them to find him a doctor.
"you're in luck, sir! We have a doctor that lives in this very hotel."
They send the doctor up. After tending to the man's injuries the man remarks:
"Wow! I never would have thought this hotel would have its own doctor."
"Well you see," says the doctor "no one expects the Spanish in-physician"
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption
One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to Spain and is named Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving it, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband said "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
The King of Spain has sequestered himself on his private jet until his Covid-19 results come back
The reign in Spain stays mainly on the plane.
In New York there are many tattoo artists from all over the world, but for some reason the artists from Spain have trouble getting business.
Why? Because nobody expects the Spanish ink precision!
A historian went to a restaurant during Christmas
Once a historian went to a resturant during Christmas and ordered foods. While bringing the foods the spanish waiter lost balance and everything fell to floor.
So the historian said in his mind, " First the fall of Turkey, then breaking-up of China, over-throw of Greece, humiliation of Spain and finally loss of America !"
This is not a racist joke, i will use France, you can put whichever country you like instead
First, God created Britain, then the British.
After Britain, God created Spain, then the Spanish.
After Spain, God created France. The British and Spanish objected because France was much more beautiful than their countries.
Then God created the French.
A German girl married a Spanish man & went to Spain but she didn't speak spanish. Each time she wanted to buy chicken legs, she would lift her skirt up & show her thighs to allow the seller to understand.This went on for some time.
One day she wanted to buy sausages, so she made her husband go to the store with her. He then asked for sausages as he spoke spanish.
Twins
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
The twins
A woman delivers a set of identical twins and decides to give them up
for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."
The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later,
Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the
picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of
Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've
seen Ahmal."
I am sick
Once I was traveling from Mumbai to Singapore. A woman sitting next seat continued looking at me. I understood that this lady had never seen a Sikh person before.
Midway in the flight when the tea and snacks were served, I struck a conversation with the lady.
Her name was Margarita and she belonged to Spain.
She asked, "what are you?"
I replied, "I am Sikh."
"I am sorry," said the young lady, "hope you get well soon."
I replied,"no dear, I am not sick as that of the body, I am Sikh as of religion."
She shook hands with me and said, "it is nice meeting you, I am also sick of religion."
