Spaghetti Jokes
159 spaghetti jokes and hilarious spaghetti puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spaghetti that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make mealtime fun for everyone with these funny Spaghetti Jokes! With classic dishes like Spaghetti Bolognese, Spaghetti and Meatballs, and Fettuccine Alfredo, you're sure to find a favorite. And don't forget to try innovative recipes like Spaghetti Squash and Spaghetti O’s! Enjoy these jokes and noodles tonight with your favorite antipasto!
Quick Jump To
- Short Spaghetti Jokes
- Spaghetti One Liners
- Spaghetti And Meatball Jokes
- Spaghetti Day Jokes
- Spaghetti Sauce Jokes
- Flying Spaghetti Jokes
- More Spaghetti Jokes
Funniest Spaghetti Short Jokes
Short spaghetti jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spaghetti humour may include short pasta jokes also.
- I told my wife I was making a bicycle out of spaghetti. She didn't believe me... Until I rode pasta.
- My mom laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.
- My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. you should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta
- My sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face as I drove pasta
- What's the difference between my ex and a bowl of spaghetti? Spaghetti wiggles when I eat it.
- What's the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti? meatballs.
My 10 year old daughter just told me this and I had to share. - My girlfriend didn't believe me when I said I could build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen her face when I drove pasta!
- My 9 year old told me this one. What is the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti? Meatballs.
She's so petite and delicate so it was perfectly hilarious. - My wife didn't believe me when i said I'd made a car from spaghetti Should've seen her face when I drove pasta
- My lesbian sister told me that most girls are like spaghetti noodles Straight until you get them wet.
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Spaghetti One Liners
Which spaghetti one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spaghetti? I can suggest the ones about noodles and lasagna.
- A restaurant served me soggy spaghetti So I put in a re-straining order.
- What do you call a fake spaghetti? An impasta
- The flying spaghetti monster never died... He pastaway.
- Bisexual girls are like spaghetti. Straight until wet.
- What happened to the spaghetti at the end of it's life? It pasta way.
- Where does spaghetti go to dance? The meatball.
- I started cooking spaghetti. Just to pasta time.
- What did the spaghetti say to the meatball at dinner time? Pasta sauce
- Heterosexual women are just like spaghetti.... They're straight, until they get wet.
- If you die eating spaghetti... you pasta way
- Italian wisdom Eat spaghetti to forgetti your regretti
- Why did the woman miss the spaghetti train? Because it went straight pasta.
- What do you get when you add pool noodles to a hot tub? Spa-ghetti
- What do you call someone who sells themself in exchange for spaghetti? A pasta-tute
- What do you call noodles cooked with roofies? Forgetti Spaghetti
Spaghetti And Meatball Jokes
Here is a list of funny spaghetti and meatball jokes and even better spaghetti and meatball puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Meatballs told Spaghetti to go to bed.. ..because it was pasta bedtime.
- What's the difference between a fedora and a fedina? "A fedina? What's a fedina?"
"*a-Spaghetti and meatballs!*"
Try it out. Just try it. This holiday season. - Where did the spaghetti and the sauce go dancing? The meatball!
- Why did these two meatballs want to cross the road? For five's sick spaghetti
Spaghetti Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny spaghetti day jokes and even better spaghetti day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I got into an argument with my sister the other day. She said it was impossible to make a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen the look on her face when I drove pasta
- Car made out of spaghetti I told my neibourgh I had made a car out of spaghetti she said don't be rediculous, well she got a shock next day when I drove pasta
- My girlfriend called me childish the other day I was so shocked I nearly choked on my alphabetti spaghetti
- What do Italians eat when they're tired of stuffing themselves with spaghetti all day? Antipasta.
- I'm trying the new diet where all you are allowed to each day is 27 feet of spaghetti. It's called The Whole Nine Yards.
Spaghetti Sauce Jokes
Here is a list of funny spaghetti sauce jokes and even better spaghetti sauce puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife asked why the spaghetti sauce tasted odd I told her I didn't have the thyme to make it right.
- My wife asked how you could tell if spaghetti was done, so I said throw it against the wall. If it sticks, it's done. Imagine my surprise when I went into the kitchen to find sauce all over the wall.
- What did the lasagna say to the pizza after having an affair for a while? We have to stop, I think Spaghetti sauce!
- I like my women like I like my spaghetti sauce... Prego
- What's the difference between spaghetti's complement and the pitches at a baseball game between members of an intergovernmental military alliance? One is some NATO toss, and the other's tomato sauce.
- What do you get after repeatedly smashing a baby against a wall? Mama's secret spaghetti sauce
- what do you call angel hair pasta, pizza sauce and a sweater in the washer Moms spaghetti
Flying Spaghetti Jokes
Here is a list of funny flying spaghetti jokes and even better flying spaghetti puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I have a strong relationship with the flying spaghetti monster... ...but it's strained to say the least
- TIL that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has it's own version of the devil . . . You will know this fake Flying Spaghetti Monster by his name, for he is known as the Im-Pasta.
- Why is the Flying Spaghetti Monster made of Pasta? Because "made of bread" was already taken by Jesus.
- How do you reach the Flying Spaghetti Monster? You have to sail pasta seas.
- How do you get to the Flying Spaghetti Monster? You must sail across a pasta sea.
- What do you call an atheist who no longer worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster? A-pasta-ate.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Spaghetti Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about spaghetti you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean penne pasta jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spaghetti pranks.
Reggie, Joe, and Chuck
There was once a farmer who had three teenage daughters. On prom night, a young boy rang his doorbell.
**Reggie:** My name's Reggie, I'm here to pick up Betty, we're going to go eat some spaghetti, is she ready?
He told his Betty that someone was there to pick her up and they left.
A while later, there someone else rang the doorbell.
**Joe:** My name's Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo, we're going to watch a show, is she ready to go?
So he told Flo and they left.
A bit later, there was yet another boy at his door. He said:
**Chuck:** My name's Chuck...
And the farmer shot him.
A man walks up to a counter and says . . .
A man walks up to a counter and says, "Gimme a kielbassi sandwich and a beer."
"Ah," says the person behind the counter. "You must be Polish."
The customer becomes irate. "Now, just a minute," he says, "I happen to take offense at that! Why are you assuming that just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer I must be Polish?"
"Well-"
"If I ordered a plate of spaghetti, would you assume I'm Italian?"
"Well, no."
If I ordered corned beef and cabbage, would you assume I'm Irish?"
"No."
"Then why," said the customer, "are you assuming I'm Polish just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer?"
"Well . . . this is a hardware store."
Doing s**... favors for spaghetti dinners
...makes you a pastatute
I told my mum I was goingto make a car out of spaghetti
She was really surprised when I drove pasta
A farmer had three daughters...
and each was going on a date one Friday night.
The first daughters date showed up "Hi I'm Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?"
Betty left with Freddy.
The second daughters date showed up "Hey I'm Joe here to pick up Flo to go to the show, is she ready to go?"
Flo left with Joe.
The third daughters date showed up "Hello I'm Chuck-"
The farmer shot chuck.
What do women and spaghetti have in common?
.,....................................................
.
.
.
.
.
They both wiggle when you eat them!
My grandmother laughed when I said I was gonna build a car out of spaghetti.
She wasn't laughing when I drove pasta.
My sister didn't believe me when I said I could drive spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.
Where does poor spaghetti live?
The spaghetto
What do you call a h**... who works for spaghetti?
A pastatute!
What do you call someone who has s**... for spaghetti?
A pastatute.
My mom told me it was impossible to build a car out of spaghetti...
You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta
What do you call a person who w**... themselves out for spaghetti?
A Pastatute
What do you call spaghetti pretending to be rigatoni?
An impasta
Could eating a lot of spaghetti make me a better dad?
I suppose it's pastable.
What does a bowl of spaghetti and a degree from Phoenix online both have in common?
If it ends up on your wall you're probably r**....
What do you call noodles that aren't spaghetti?
Impastas
A lesbian tried to hit on me today, so I let her know that I was straight.
She told me, "Spaghetti is straight too, till it gets wet"
Husband: Guests are coming tonight.
What's for dinner?
Wife:I am not well today, so there's only green beans.
Husband:No worry. I have an idea. When the guests arrives you'll welcome them and I'll go to the kitchen and drop one utensil and then you'll say "what happen" . Then I'll say "oh no!! I dropped the chicken " . Then again drop another utensil and say "I dropped the spaghetti. Now we only left with green beans."
*Guest arrives*
Wife: Welcome. Please make yourself comfortable.
* loud sound comes from the kitchen *
Wife: Everything alright, honey?
Husband: Sh**t. I dropped the beans.
my wife laughed at me when i told her i was going to make a car out of spaghetti
She wasn't laughing when i drove pasta.
What do you say when you get cornered by a gang of Italian prostitutes?
"Uh-oh, spaghetti h**...!"
My wife said i couldnt make a car out of spaghetti...
should have seen her face when i drove pasta
Did you hear the creator of spaghetti died?
He pasta way
Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery.
We're calling it Send Noods
My wife thought I was crazy when I suggested a car made out of spaghetti
You should've seen her face when I was driving pasta!
How do you ask a priest to hand you the spaghetti?
Pasta pasta, pasta.
How do you put spaghetti to sleep?
You cover it in peanut butter until it dies.
My 4 year old made that up, along with a few others. Not sure how I feel about this.
I hate when women say they're lonely when I'm here...
It's like saying you're hungry when there's a pile of cold spaghetti on the floor outside.
At a restaurant, I was getting impatient waiting on my food...
I caught the waiter's attention as he rushed by. How long will my spaghetti be?
The waiter said: I don't know. We never measure it.
My girlfriend left me because of my love of noodles.
I'd best spaghetti on with my life
A farmer has three daughters when they were finally allowed to date it went something like this.
First daughter..... Guy knocks on the door and says "Hi I'm Joe. I'm here to pick up Flo and take her to a show is she ready to go?" Second daughter.... Guy knocks on the door and says, "hi I'm Eddie I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going to eat spaghetti. Is she ready?" Third daughter.... Guy knocks on the door and says "hi my name is CHUCK!" Dad promptly slams the door!!!!
Did ya'll ever hear about that lady who was selling s**... favors for spaghetti?
She was a pastatute
What do you call a piece of s**... spaghetti?
A pastatute!
A friend bet me that I couldn't turn spaghetti into a motor vehicle
She was really mad when I drove pasta
A farmer's 3 daughters are going on a date
A farmer is concerned that all 3 of his daughters are going on a date tonight. He decided he'll greet each man who shows up tonight with his shotgun in hand.
The first man to ring the doorbell greets the farmer with, "Hi, my names Joe.
I'm here for Flo.
We're going to see the show.
Is she ready to go?"
The farmer likes this fellow and sends Joe and Flo off.
The second man to show up says,
"Hello, I'm Eddy.
I'm looking for Betty.
We're gonna go eat some spaghetti.
Is she ready?"
The farmer decides this guys okay too so off they go.
The third man rings the doorbell says,
"Hey, my name's Chuck."
And the farmer shot him.
My wife told me I could never make a car out of spaghetti...
Well, you should've seen her face as I drove pasta.
Spaghetti is the term I believe...
With women, their sexuality can be a mood thing, can't it?
Spaghetti is the term I believe.
**Straight until wet**
-----------------------
(This is one of Jimmy Carr's jokes but I laughed a lot so I thought I'd share it.)
How does the president like his spaghetti
Al presi-dente
A lesbian woman is hitting on another woman in a bar.....
The other woman tells the lesbian "Im sorry but I straight."
The lesbian wispers into her ear, "So is spaghetti, until it gets hot and wet"
I was going to eat a spaghetti squash...
But then I thought, "Nah, I butternut."
What does a closeted lesbian and spaghetti have in common?
They're both straight until they get wet.
What do you call someone who sells their body for a bowl of spaghetti?
A pastatute!
Did you know? There is a species of frog in Alaska
There is a species of frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter and while frozen, the frog stops breathing, its heart stops beating, its palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's v**... on its sweater already, mom's spaghetti.
I'm like spaghetti: I'm straight!
as long as I stay away from the p**......
What do you call a woman who exchanges s**... for spaghetti?
A Pasta-tute
What is a horse's favourite italian dish?
Spaghetti bologneighs.
Don't ask, my brain comes up with silly things ._.
What do you call spaghetti that steals someones identity?
An impasta
When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop.
He was known as the pasta barista baby.
A farmer has three daughters.
A boy knocks on the door and says "I'm Eddie and I'm here to take Betty for spaghetti."
The farmer calls Betty and she goes on her date with the young man.
Another boy knocks on the door and says to the farmer "I'm Joe and I'm here to take Flo to the show".
The farmer calls Flo downstairs and the two go to the show.
A third boy then knocks on the front door and says "I'm Chuck..." and the farmer shoots him.
My dad was babysitting my two children, so I called him later to ask how it was going.
Me: "What did they have for dinner?"
Dad: "Which one? Charlie or Clark?"
Me: "Charlie"
Dad: "Spaghetti"
Me: "What about Clark?"
Dad: "Spaghetti"
Me: "Ok ... So what time did they go to bed?"
Dad: "Which one? Charlie or Clark?"
Me: "Charlie"
Dad: "7:30"
Me: "And Clark dad?"
Dad: "Also 7:30"
Me: "If the answers are the same, why are you telling me them separately?"
Dad: "Well, I was the one looking after Charlie".
Me: "oh, who was looking after Clark then?"
Dad: "Me".
If I waited to long to e**... spaghetti, would I be....
Pro-pasta-nating?
My wife told me I was crazy for trying to fix our car using spaghetti.
The look on her face when I drove pasta.
I got food poisoning from a can of Spaghetti-O's....
It was the most painful vowel movement of my life.
What happened to the man who ate too much spaghetti?
He pasta way
At a recent job interview I was asked about my background.
I got my phone out and showed him that it was a picture of a dog eating spaghetti.
Why is having a bbq not popular in Italy?
Spaghetti keep falling through the grill
I told my sister I had a car made of spaghetti.
I told my sister I had a car made of spaghetti.
She didn't believe me.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.
My wife said it was "crazy and impossible" when I told her I wanted to make a car out of spaghetti...
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
Eminem Coronavirus joke
Apparently, Eminem is rumored to be diagnosed with Coronavirus
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with v**... on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
What did the spaghetti say to the lasagna as he was murdering him
Pasta La vista
What do you call a h**... that you pay with spaghetti?
A pastatute
