Spaghetti Jokes
150 spaghetti jokes and hilarious spaghetti puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spaghetti that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make mealtime fun for everyone with these funny Spaghetti Jokes! With classic dishes like Spaghetti Bolognese, Spaghetti and Meatballs, and Fettuccine Alfredo, you're sure to find a favorite. And don't forget to try innovative recipes like Spaghetti Squash and Spaghetti O’s! Enjoy these jokes and noodles tonight with your favorite antipasto!
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Funniest Spaghetti Short Jokes
Short spaghetti jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spaghetti humour may include short pasta jokes also.
- I told my wife I was making a bicycle out of spaghetti. She didn't believe me... Until I rode pasta.
- My mom laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.
- My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. you should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta
- My sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face as I drove pasta
- What's the difference between my ex and a bowl of spaghetti? Spaghetti wiggles when I eat it.
- What's the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti? meatballs.
My 10 year old daughter just told me this and I had to share. - My lesbian sister told me that most girls are like spaghetti noodles Straight until you get them wet.
- My grandmother laughed when I said I was gonna build a car out of spaghetti. She wasn't laughing when I drove pasta.
- At a restaurant, I was getting impatient waiting on my food... I caught the waiter's attention as he rushed by. How long will my spaghetti be?
The waiter said: I don't know. We never measure it. - My sister didn't believe me when I said I could drive spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.
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Spaghetti One Liners
Which spaghetti one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spaghetti? I can suggest the ones about noodles and lasagna.
- A restaurant served me soggy spaghetti So I put in a re-straining order.
- The flying spaghetti monster never died... He pastaway.
- What happened to the spaghetti at the end of it's life? It pasta way.
- Where does spaghetti go to dance? The meatball.
- I started cooking spaghetti. Just to pasta time.
- What did the spaghetti say to the meatball at dinner time? Pasta sauce
- If you die eating spaghetti... you pasta way
- Italian wisdom Eat spaghetti to forgetti your regretti
- Why did the woman miss the spaghetti train? Because it went straight pasta.
- What do you get when you add pool noodles to a hot tub? Spa-ghetti
- What do you call someone who sells themself in exchange for spaghetti? A pasta-tute
- What do you call noodles cooked with roofies? Forgetti Spaghetti
- What happened to the man who ate too much spaghetti? He pasta way
- Why is having a bbq not popular in Italy? Spaghetti keep falling through the grill
- Threw out a noodle I found in a packet of spaghetti. It was the impasta.
Spaghetti And Meatball Jokes
Here is a list of funny spaghetti and meatball jokes and even better spaghetti and meatball puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Meatballs told Spaghetti to go to bed.. ..because it was pasta bedtime.
- What's the difference between a fedora and a fedina? "A fedina? What's a fedina?"
"*a-Spaghetti and meatballs!*"
Try it out. Just try it. This holiday season.
Spaghetti Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny spaghetti day jokes and even better spaghetti day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My girlfriend called me childish the other day I was so shocked I nearly choked on my alphabetti spaghetti
- What do Italians eat when they're tired of stuffing themselves with spaghetti all day? Antipasta.
- I'm trying the new diet where all you are allowed to each day is 27 feet of spaghetti. It's called The Whole Nine Yards.
Spaghetti Sauce Jokes
Here is a list of funny spaghetti sauce jokes and even better spaghetti sauce puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife asked why the spaghetti sauce tasted odd I told her I didn't have the thyme to make it right.
- My wife asked how you could tell if spaghetti was done, so I said throw it against the wall. If it sticks, it's done. Imagine my surprise when I went into the kitchen to find sauce all over the wall.
- What did the lasagna say to the pizza after having an affair for a while? We have to stop, I think Spaghetti sauce!
- I like my women like I like my spaghetti sauce... Prego
- What's the difference between spaghetti's complement and the pitches at a baseball game between members of an intergovernmental military alliance? One is some NATO toss, and the other's tomato sauce.
- what do you call angel hair pasta, pizza sauce and a sweater in the washer Moms spaghetti
Flying Spaghetti Jokes
Here is a list of funny flying spaghetti jokes and even better flying spaghetti puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I have a strong relationship with the flying spaghetti monster... ...but it's strained to say the least
- Why is the Flying Spaghetti Monster made of Pasta? Because "made of bread" was already taken by Jesus.
- How do you reach the Flying Spaghetti Monster? You have to sail pasta seas.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Spaghetti Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about spaghetti you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean penne pasta jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spaghetti pranks.
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates.
The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?"
No.
The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?"
No.
The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck."
The farmer shot Chuck.
What's Hailie's favorite food?
Mom's spaghetti.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Reggie, Joe, and Chuck
There was once a farmer who had three teenage daughters. On prom night, a young boy rang his doorbell.
**Reggie:** My name's Reggie, I'm here to pick up Betty, we're going to go eat some spaghetti, is she ready?
He told his Betty that someone was there to pick her up and they left.
A while later, there someone else rang the doorbell.
**Joe:** My name's Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo, we're going to watch a show, is she ready to go?
So he told Flo and they left.
A bit later, there was yet another boy at his door. He said:
**Chuck:** My name's Chuck...
And the farmer shot him.
A man walks up to a counter and says . . .
A man walks up to a counter and says, "Gimme a kielbassi sandwich and a beer."
"Ah," says the person behind the counter. "You must be Polish."
The customer becomes irate. "Now, just a minute," he says, "I happen to take offense at that! Why are you assuming that just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer I must be Polish?"
"Well-"
"If I ordered a plate of spaghetti, would you assume I'm Italian?"
"Well, no."
If I ordered corned beef and cabbage, would you assume I'm Irish?"
"No."
"Then why," said the customer, "are you assuming I'm Polish just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer?"
"Well . . . this is a hardware store."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Doing s**... favors for spaghetti dinners
...makes you a pastatute
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Spaghetti s**...
I'm at the bar the other night and this beautiful woman approached me.
She said "I'll screw your brains out if you buy me a bowl of macaroni."
I said, "Really!? What are you, a pasta-tute?"
And then, that very same girl came up to me the next day and I asked her what she charged.
She said she only charged a penne.
What do you call freshly-made spaghetti?
Newdles.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Italian, a Mexican and an American are all on a boat...
The captain runs out yelling we're sinking we're sinking!! Everyone needs to throw something off the boat! The Italian says "We have too many of these in our country" and throws over pots of spaghetti . Mexican says "we have too many of these in country" and throws burritos over board. Finally the American says "We have too many of these in our country." Then he picks up the Mexican and throws him overboard.
Good ol' fashions racism.
A farmer had three daughters...
and each was going on a date one Friday night.
The first daughters date showed up "Hi I'm Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?"
Betty left with Freddy.
The second daughters date showed up "Hey I'm Joe here to pick up Flo to go to the show, is she ready to go?"
Flo left with Joe.
The third daughters date showed up "Hello I'm Chuck-"
The farmer shot chuck.
Why did Jim die from eating at an Italian restaurant?
Because he asked for 'ebola spaghetti'
I ordered a bowl of spaghetti and found a linguine noodle at the bottom
he was an impasta
What do women and spaghetti have in common?
.,....................................................
.
.
.
.
.
They both wiggle when you eat them!
I have some bad news about my uncle Ziti...
He pasta way..
...
He sure was a pizza work.
...
...
At least he's with the angel hairs right now.
...
...
...
Please say a prayer for him on parm Sunday.
...
...
...
...
...
...
..
...
... ... ... ... Spaghetti.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has it's own version of the devil . . .
You will know this fake Flying Spaghetti Monster by his name, for he is known as the Im-Pasta.
I was carrying some spaghetti as I walked past a priest..
You could say I moved some pasta past a pastor.
Why does God hate it when you throw spaghetti in the ocean?
It's a pasta sea.
What do you call a Jamaican who likes spaghetti?
A Pastafarian.
Could eating a lot of spaghetti make me a better dad?
I suppose it's pastable.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a bowl of spaghetti and a degree from Phoenix online both have in common?
If it ends up on your wall you're probably r**....
What do you call a spaghetti that went to a pasta party?
An Impasta
What do you call noodles that aren't spaghetti?
Impastas
A lesbian tried to hit on me today, so I let her know that I was straight.
She told me, "Spaghetti is straight too, till it gets wet"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Husband: Guests are coming tonight.
What's for dinner?
Wife:I am not well today, so there's only green beans.
Husband:No worry. I have an idea. When the guests arrives you'll welcome them and I'll go to the kitchen and drop one utensil and then you'll say "what happen" . Then I'll say "oh no!! I dropped the chicken " . Then again drop another utensil and say "I dropped the spaghetti. Now we only left with green beans."
*Guest arrives*
Wife: Welcome. Please make yourself comfortable.
* loud sound comes from the kitchen *
Wife: Everything alright, honey?
Husband: Sh**t. I dropped the beans.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you say when you get cornered by a gang of Italian prostitutes?
"Uh-oh, spaghetti h**...!"
What does Sean Connery call fancy spaghetti?
Poshta
Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery.
We're calling it Send Noods
How do you ask a priest to hand you the spaghetti?
Pasta pasta, pasta.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bisexual girls are like spaghetti.
Straight until wet.
How do you put spaghetti to sleep?
You cover it in peanut butter until it dies.
My 4 year old made that up, along with a few others. Not sure how I feel about this.
what do you call gangster spaghetti
spaghetto
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Got a tattoo on the small of my back of 2 dogs sharing a plate of spaghetti.
It's a Lady and the t**... stamp.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate when women say they're lonely when I'm here...
It's like saying you're hungry when there's a pile of cold spaghetti on the floor outside.
My girlfriend left me because of my love of noodles.
I'd best spaghetti on with my life
A friend bet me that I couldn't turn spaghetti into a motor vehicle
She was really mad when I drove pasta
A farmer's 3 daughters are going on a date
A farmer is concerned that all 3 of his daughters are going on a date tonight. He decided he'll greet each man who shows up tonight with his shotgun in hand.
The first man to ring the doorbell greets the farmer with, "Hi, my names Joe.
I'm here for Flo.
We're going to see the show.
Is she ready to go?"
The farmer likes this fellow and sends Joe and Flo off.
The second man to show up says,
"Hello, I'm Eddy.
I'm looking for Betty.
We're gonna go eat some spaghetti.
Is she ready?"
The farmer decides this guys okay too so off they go.
The third man rings the doorbell says,
"Hey, my name's Chuck."
And the farmer shot him.
My wife told me I could never make a car out of spaghetti...
Well, you should've seen her face as I drove pasta.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Spaghetti is the term I believe...
With women, their sexuality can be a mood thing, can't it?
Spaghetti is the term I believe.
**Straight until wet**
-----------------------
(This is one of Jimmy Carr's jokes but I laughed a lot so I thought I'd share it.)
How does the president like his spaghetti
Al presi-dente
A lesbian woman is hitting on another woman in a bar.....
The other woman tells the lesbian "Im sorry but I straight."
The lesbian wispers into her ear, "So is spaghetti, until it gets hot and wet"
My girlfriend didn't notice my spaghetti car...
...and I drove right pasta!
I was going to eat a spaghetti squash...
But then I thought, "Nah, I butternut."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a closeted lesbian and spaghetti have in common?
They're both straight until they get wet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why can't you feed spaghetti to a male cow?
Because it's im-pasta-bull.
Does Eminem always have to spit on my onion rings?
It always ends up tasting like spaghetti.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know? There is a species of frog in Alaska
There is a species of frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter and while frozen, the frog stops breathing, its heart stops beating, its palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's v**... on its sweater already, mom's spaghetti.
I saw a white bird snatching someone's Alphabetti Spaghetti.
It was an ABSeagull.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm like spaghetti: I'm straight!
as long as I stay away from the p**......
What is a horse's favourite italian dish?
Spaghetti bologneighs.
Don't ask, my brain comes up with silly things ._.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a h**... and f**... after eating spaghetti?
One gets paid to have s**... and the other's a pasta toot.
When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop.
He was known as the pasta barista baby.
A bomb was found in a tin of Alphabet Spaghetti at Wal-Mart today.
A spokesman told the press"We're lucky we found it when we did. If that had gone off it could have spelt disaster."
Where do Italians get their stock photos from?
Spaghetti Images
If spaghetti made an action movie, what would it be called?
Mission: Impastable!
What does a massage therapist have for dinner...?
SPA-ghetti!
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
My dad was babysitting my two children, so I called him later to ask how it was going.
Me: "What did they have for dinner?"
Dad: "Which one? Charlie or Clark?"
Me: "Charlie"
Dad: "Spaghetti"
Me: "What about Clark?"
Dad: "Spaghetti"
Me: "Ok ... So what time did they go to bed?"
Dad: "Which one? Charlie or Clark?"
Me: "Charlie"
Dad: "7:30"
Me: "And Clark dad?"
Dad: "Also 7:30"
Me: "If the answers are the same, why are you telling me them separately?"
Dad: "Well, I was the one looking after Charlie".
Me: "oh, who was looking after Clark then?"
Dad: "Me".
Why did the piece of spaghetti refuse to get on the plate with the rest?
Because he had a strained relationship with the rest.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I waited to long to e**... spaghetti, would I be....
Pro-pasta-nating?
Did you hear that the spaghetti noodle got into a car accident?
Paramedics tried to save him, but in the end, he pasta-way.
I got food poisoning from a can of Spaghetti-O's....
It was the most painful vowel movement of my life.
At a recent job interview I was asked about my background.
I got my phone out and showed him that it was a picture of a dog eating spaghetti.
Why did the spaghetti say she was so tired?
because is was pasta bed time
