The Best 86 Spaghetti Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Spaghetti jokes. There are some spaghetti alfredo jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these spaghetti ziti puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Spaghetti Jokes and Puns

Reggie, Joe, and Chuck

There was once a farmer who had three teenage daughters. On prom night, a young boy rang his doorbell.
**Reggie:** My name's Reggie, I'm here to pick up Betty, we're going to go eat some spaghetti, is she ready?
He told his Betty that someone was there to pick her up and they left.
A while later, there someone else rang the doorbell.
**Joe:** My name's Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo, we're going to watch a show, is she ready to go?
So he told Flo and they left.
A bit later, there was yet another boy at his door. He said:
**Chuck:** My name's Chuck...
And the farmer shot him.

I have a strong relationship with the flying spaghetti monster...

...but it's strained to say the least

A man walks up to a counter and says . . .

A man walks up to a counter and says, "Gimme a kielbassi sandwich and a beer."
"Ah," says the person behind the counter. "You must be Polish."
The customer becomes irate. "Now, just a minute," he says, "I happen to take offense at that! Why are you assuming that just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer I must be Polish?"
"Well-"
"If I ordered a plate of spaghetti, would you assume I'm Italian?"
"Well, no."
If I ordered corned beef and cabbage, would you assume I'm Irish?"
"No."
"Then why," said the customer, "are you assuming I'm Polish just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer?"
"Well . . . this is a hardware store."

Spaghetti joke, A man walks up to a counter and says . . .

My sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti...

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta

Doing sexual favors for spaghetti dinners

...makes you a pastatute


I told my mum I was goingto make a car out of spaghetti

She was really surprised when I drove pasta

What did the spaghetti say to the meatball at dinner time?

Pasta sauce

Spaghetti joke, What did the spaghetti say to the meatball at dinner time?

A farmer had three daughters...

and each was going on a date one Friday night.

The first daughters date showed up "Hi I'm Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?"

Betty left with Freddy.

The second daughters date showed up "Hey I'm Joe here to pick up Flo to go to the show, is she ready to go?"

Flo left with Joe.

The third daughters date showed up "Hello I'm Chuck-"

The farmer shot chuck.

Why did the woman miss the spaghetti train?

Because it went straight pasta.

What do women and spaghetti have in common?

.,....................................................
.
.
.
.
.

They both wiggle when you eat them!

My grandmother laughed when I said I was gonna build a car out of spaghetti.

She wasn't laughing when I drove pasta.

You can explore spaghetti antipasta reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean spaghetti lasagna dad jokes. There are also spaghetti puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My sister didn't believe me when I said I could drive spaghetti.

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.

My girlfriend didn't believe me when I said I could build a car out of spaghetti.

You should've seen her face when I drove pasta!

What do you call a hooker who works for spaghetti?

A pastatute!

What do you call someone who has sex for spaghetti?

A pastatute.

My mom laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.

Spaghetti joke, My mom laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti.

Where does spaghetti go to dance?

The meatball.

My lesbian sister told me that most girls are like spaghetti noodles

Straight until you get them wet.

What do you call a fake spaghetti?

An impasta


What do you call a person who whores themselves out for spaghetti?

A Pastatute

What does a bowl of spaghetti and a degree from Phoenix online both have in common?

If it ends up on your wall you're probably retarded.

A lesbian tried to hit on me today, so I let her know that I was straight.

She told me, "Spaghetti is straight too, till it gets wet"

Husband: Guests are coming tonight.

What's for dinner?

Wife:I am not well today, so there's only green beans.

Husband:No worry. I have an idea. When the guests arrives you'll welcome them and I'll go to the kitchen and drop one utensil and then you'll say "what happen" . Then I'll say "oh no!! I dropped the chicken " . Then again drop another utensil and say "I dropped the spaghetti. Now we only left with green beans."

*Guest arrives*
Wife: Welcome. Please make yourself comfortable.

* loud sound comes from the kitchen *

Wife: Everything alright, honey?

Husband: Sh**t. I dropped the beans.

my wife laughed at me when i told her i was going to make a car out of spaghetti

She wasn't laughing when i drove pasta.

What do you say when you get cornered by a gang of Italian prostitutes?

"Uh-oh, spaghetti hoes!"

Did you hear the creator of spaghetti died?

He pasta way

Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery.

We're calling it Send Noods

Bisexual girls are like spaghetti.

Straight until wet.

How do you put spaghetti to sleep?

You cover it in peanut butter until it dies.

My 4 year old made that up, along with a few others. Not sure how I feel about this.

I hate when women say they're lonely when I'm here...

It's like saying you're hungry when there's a pile of cold spaghetti on the floor outside.

At a restaurant, I was getting impatient waiting on my food...

I caught the waiter's attention as he rushed by. How long will my spaghetti be?

The waiter said: I don't know. We never measure it.

A farmer has three daughters when they were finally allowed to date it went something like this.

First daughter..... Guy knocks on the door and says "Hi I'm Joe. I'm here to pick up Flo and take her to a show is she ready to go?" Second daughter.... Guy knocks on the door and says, "hi I'm Eddie I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going to eat spaghetti. Is she ready?" Third daughter.... Guy knocks on the door and says "hi my name is CHUCK!" Dad promptly slams the door!!!!

Did ya'll ever hear about that lady who was selling sexual favors for spaghetti?

She was a pastatute

What do you call a piece of slutty spaghetti?

A pastatute!

A friend bet me that I couldn't turn spaghetti into a motor vehicle

She was really mad when I drove pasta

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti.

you should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta

My wife didn't believe me when i said I'd made a car from spaghetti

Should've seen her face when I drove pasta

My wife asked why the spaghetti sauce tasted odd

I told her I didn't have the thyme to make it right.

My wife told me I could never make a car out of spaghetti...

Well, you should've seen her face as I drove pasta.

Heterosexual women are just like spaghetti....

They're straight, until they get wet.

A lesbian woman is hitting on another woman in a bar.....

The other woman tells the lesbian "Im sorry but I straight."

The lesbian wispers into her ear, "So is spaghetti, until it gets hot and wet"

What does a closeted lesbian and spaghetti have in common?

They're both straight until they get wet.

Did you know? There is a species of frog in Alaska

There is a species of frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter and while frozen, the frog stops breathing, its heart stops beating, its palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's vomit on its sweater already, mom's spaghetti.

I'm like spaghetti: I'm straight!

as long as I stay away from the pot...

What do you call a woman who exchanges sex for spaghetti?

A Pasta-tute

What do you call spaghetti that steals someones identity?

An impasta

When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop.

He was known as the pasta barista baby.

A farmer has three daughters.

A boy knocks on the door and says "I'm Eddie and I'm here to take Betty for spaghetti."

The farmer calls Betty and she goes on her date with the young man.

Another boy knocks on the door and says to the farmer "I'm Joe and I'm here to take Flo to the show".

The farmer calls Flo downstairs and the two go to the show.

A third boy then knocks on the front door and says "I'm Chuck..." and the farmer shoots him.

What happened to the spaghetti at the end of it's life?

It pasta way.

My dad was babysitting my two children, so I called him later to ask how it was going.

Me: "What did they have for dinner?"

Dad: "Which one? Charlie or Clark?"

Me: "Charlie"

Dad: "Spaghetti"

Me: "What about Clark?"

Dad: "Spaghetti"

Me: "Ok ... So what time did they go to bed?"

Dad: "Which one? Charlie or Clark?"

Me: "Charlie"

Dad: "7:30"

Me: "And Clark dad?"

Dad: "Also 7:30"

Me: "If the answers are the same, why are you telling me them separately?"

Dad: "Well, I was the one looking after Charlie".

Me: "oh, who was looking after Clark then?"

Dad: "Me".

If I waited to long to eat my spaghetti, would I be....

Pro-pasta-nating?

Italian wisdom

Eat spaghetti to forgetti your regretti

My wife told me I was crazy for trying to fix our car using spaghetti.

The look on her face when I drove pasta.

What happened to the man who ate too much spaghetti?

He pasta way

At a recent job interview I was asked about my background.

I got my phone out and showed him that it was a picture of a dog eating spaghetti.

Why is having a BBQ not popular in Italy?

Spaghetti keep falling through the grill

What do you call noodles cooked with roofies?

Forgetti Spaghetti

What's the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

My 10 year old daughter just told me this and I had to share.

My wife said it was "crazy and impossible" when I told her I wanted to make a car out of spaghetti...

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!

The flying spaghetti monster never died...

He pastaway.

What do you call someone who sells themself in exchange for spaghetti?

A pasta-tute

What do you call a hooker that you pay with spaghetti?

A pastatute

My wife didn't believe me when I told her I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti.

You should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta.

A restaurant served me soggy spaghetti

So I put in a re-straining order.

What's the difference between my ex and a bowl of spaghetti?

Spaghetti wiggles when I eat it.

My girlfriend made a bet with me

She said theres no way i can make a car out of spaghetti. Shoulda seen the look on her face as i drove pasta.

My mum laughed at me when I told her I was building a car out of spaghetti....

You should have seen her face when I drove straight pasta!

Rapper Eminem has tested positive for COVID-19

In a statement released by doctors, it has been been revealed the following symptoms: his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. Not to mention that there was vomit on his sweater already.

Initial testing suggests that the cause is: Mom's Spaghetti.

Threw out a noodle I found in a packet of spaghetti.

It was the impasta.

Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus.

In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with vomit on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti.

A Macaroni, a Penne and a Spaghetti were drinking wine in a bar one evening. They saw a noodle sitting by himself and discussed inviting him to join them.

They all agreed he looked Cannelloni.

EDIT; Thank you for all the awards, I guess I pasta test!

My sister didn't believe I could make a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.

My 3 year old's knock knock joke - innocence shattered

3 yr old: Knock Knock Daddy!

Me: Who's there?

3 yr old: (excitedly waving around their fork heaped with spaghetti and slinging sauce everywhere) Fork!

Me: Fork who?

*wife and I lock eyes; we each slowly make "the face" as we realize what is about to come out of our 3 year old's mouth*

3 yr old: Fork you Daddy!!!!! (delirious laughter)

(for those who aren't parents, imagine how someone who is learning to talk might pronounce "fork you"). My 3yr old lost their innocence in my eyes today. May as well pack them up and get them ready for college.

I told my wife I was making a bicycle out of spaghetti. She didn't believe me...

Until I rode pasta.

What do you get when you add pool noodles to a hot tub?

Spa-ghetti

A farmer has 3 daughters, each has a date lined up for the night.

The farmer waits on the front porch for the dates to arrive, shotgun on hand.


The first date shows up and says "Hello sir, I'm Eddy, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna go get some spaghetti, is she ready?". The farmer nods, and Eddy and Betty go on their way.


The next date shows up and says "Hi there, I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're gonna see the show, is she good to go?". Again the farmer nods and Joe and Flo go on their way.


A while later the last date shows up and says "Sup man, I'm Chuck"

And the farmer shoots him.

If you die eating spaghetti...

you pasta way

I told my friend that he really shouldn't be using a straw and he replied, "Yeah, I know, I know, it's bad for the environment." I said, "Sure, there's that..."

"But it's just a really weird way of eating spaghetti."

My friend didn't believe me when I told her I could build a car entirely out of spaghetti.

She was very skeptical, but you should have seen her face when I drove pasta.

My 9 year old told me this one. What is the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

She's so petite and delicate so it was perfectly hilarious.

A farmer has 3 daughters, each has a date lined up for the night.

The farmer waits on the front porch for the dates to arrive, shotgun on hand.


The first date shows up and says "Hello sir, I'm Eddy, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna go get some spaghetti, is she ready?". The farmer nods, and Eddy and Betty go on their way.


The next date shows up and says "Hi there, I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're gonna see the show, is she good to go?". Again the farmer nods and Joe and Flo go on their way.


A while later the last date shows up and says "Sup man, I'm Chuck"


And the farmer shoots him.

When I was your age your mother told me that I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti

You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta

What's a toe's favorite food?

Spaghetti and FEETballs

I was at a buffet trying to get some spaghetti but a lady was blocking me...

...I couldn't get pasta.

I got into an argument with my sister the other day. She said it was impossible to make a car out of spaghetti.

You should've seen the look on her face when I drove pasta

Last night my 13 y/o daughter was cooking spaghetti and she said, "Do you know how to tell when pasta is done?"

I said, "how?"
She goes, "When it's all-done-te!"

Very proud.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the spaghetti pasta jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working spaghetti butternut piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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