Spade Jokes
41 spade jokes and hilarious spade puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spade that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Witty Spade Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What is a good spade joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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Marriage is like a deck of cards
At the start all you need is a heart and a diamond.
By the end you just want a club and a s**...
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So Fred has accidentally cut off John's ear with his s**....
John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his s**... and cut off John's ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is", handing the ear to John.
"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back in the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it."
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My son just got a tattoo of a heart, a s**..., a club, and a diamond, all without my permission.
I guess I'll deal with him later.
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Please pray for my mother-in-law. She was taken to hospital this morning. A bee landed on her face. Luckily she wasn't stung.
I was too quick with the s**....
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My wife asked for a spa day for her birthday
I can't wait till she unwraps it, and I tell her it's pronounced s**....
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Last week I submitted a ten page in depth technical description of my groundbreaking invention to a prestigious journal... but it didn't get published.
They said I should just call a s**... a s**....
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What do you call a woman who has a duster in one hand, a brush in the other, a shovel on one foot and a s**... on the other foot
A Swiss army wife.
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How do you confuse a construction worker?
Put a s**... and a shovel in the corner, then tell him to take his pick!!
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What do you call a man with a s**... in his head?
An ambulance
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Why do shovels hate digging up metal?
Because of the irony
Sorry I guess you couldn't handle the joke
I'm gonna dig up some more
I'll s**... you of any more puns
If you couldn't sit through that you're a tool
(Please don't steel this joke it took me a long time to come up with it (credit to u/ImToastedBruh for the steel part))
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What's the difference between a red bucket and a green s**...
One is a red bucket and one is a green s**....
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Can we applaud David s**... for not having any allegations of s**... advances?
Consensual ones included.
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'American Police' playing cards.
I bought a deck of 'American Police' playing cards yesterday.
There's no hearts or diamonds in it. Just one s**... and fifty one clubs.
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What do you call a man with a s**... on his head?
Dug
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I was shocked when I saw the photos of Kate s**... hanging
I was shocked when I saw the photos of Kate s**... hanging....
On the wall in my uncles living room. I didn't know they used to be friends.
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I always call a s**... a s**...!
Until I accidentally stepped on one
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Your bad Bon-Bon jokes - post em
What do you call a man with a s**... on his head?
..
Doug
Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.
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A notorious card sharp was found dead last night.
He'd been clubbed on the heart with a diamond s**....
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What did Kate s**... say to Anthony Bourdain when he propositioned her for s**...?
Not in this lifetime.
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We all should have seen the writing on the wall for Kate s**....
She just had so much baggage.
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Did you hear about the new Kate s**... bag?
They call it the body bag.
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It's official!
The new Kate s**... neck ties ARE the hot accssory of the season!
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Spade One Liners
Which spade one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spade? I can suggest the ones about spoon and spat.
- I have a few Aces up my sleeve. In fact, I have them in s**....
- What do you call a man with a s**... in his head? An ambulance
- Another Tom Swifty "I have only diamonds, clubs, and s**...," said Tom heartlessly.
- So I met the queen of s**... the other day She's a nice lady, but a bit of a card.
- What do you call a man with a s**... on his head? Dug
- I always call a s**... a s**...! Until I accidentally stepped on one
- What do you call an asexual gravedigger? An ace of s**....
- What is the direct competitor for Dungeons and Dragons? Helmets and s**.... Tee hee.
- Did you hear about the new Kate s**... bag? They call it the body bag.
- It's official! The new Kate s**... neck ties ARE the hot accssory of the season!
- Kate s**... just committed s**...... ...now these bags will finally be worth something
- When is a s**... not a s**...? When you use it as a club.
- Which playing card can turn its hand to everything? Jack of all s**...
- What did the ace of s**... say to Claude Monet? "Draw me like one of your French girls."
