Space Jokes
173 space jokes and hilarious space puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about space that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funny jokes about space, Hubble, astronomical facts, and cosmonauts are great to tell your kids. Get ready to giggle with our collection of space jokes about Uranus and other planets, plus jokes suitable for 5 - 7 year olds.
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Funniest Space Short Jokes
Short space jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The space humour may include short capacity jokes also.
- Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words? Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
- Astronaut 1: "I can't find any milk for my coffee" Astronaut 2: "In space no-one can. Here, use cream"
- Today one of my friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space. It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
- If Elon Musk's space company establishes a mars colony, and you have a girlfriend on mars, but later break up because of long distance, she'd be your.... Space x.
- A company owner was asked a question, How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking." - King Charles will not make as many foreign visits as Queen Elizabeth did. Because the Queen could go any distance but the king can only move one space at a time.
- What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get
- Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.
- Why are there no transvestites in space? Because there is zero drag.
^^I ^^literally ^^came ^^up ^^with ^^this ^^one ^^2 ^^hours ^^ago.
- Really enjoying my new life aboard the giant space station designed to solve Earth's overpopulation problem . Just a bit weird how the sun gets slightly bigger in my cabin window every day.
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Space One Liners
Which space one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with space? I can suggest the ones about span and orbit.
- Q : With Britain leaving EU soon, how much space will be freed up?
A: 1 GB
- I have the body of a 25 year old supermodel But it takes up too much space in my freezer
- Orion's Belt is a waist of space. Bad pun, I know. 3 star at best.
- How much space is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.
- Why are Astronauts always so calm? There's no pressure in space.
- What do you call J.K. Rowling in space? AstroTERF
- A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows Uno, and *p**...*, DOS is gone without a tres.
- My favourite Haiku Space is limited
In a haiku, so it's hard
To finish what you - How much free space does the EU have since Great Britain left? 1 GB
- Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space? Because no one on earth wants to buy it.
- What do you call a Mexican space chicken? Apollo.
- Albert Einstein just finished his theory about space. Its about time too
- Einstein developed a theory about space... ...it was about time too.
- What do you call an australian in space? An Austronaut
- I'm thinking of donating my body to science It's taking up too much space in the freezer.
Nasa Space Jokes
Here is a list of funny nasa space jokes and even better nasa space puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Elon Musk send a Tesla into outer space? When NASA sent a Challenger up, it didn't go so well.
- What's the name of NASA's launch button? The "Space Bar"
- Why didn't nasa send a duck into space? The bill would be astronomical.
- Why doesn't NASA send cows to space? Because the stakes would be too high.
- NASA launches bovines into space It was the herd shot round the world!
- NASA just reported they have lost contact with Voyager 1 after it crashed into something in the dark abyss of space Apparently they found my ex's heart, which drains all energy.
- My Hispanic friend keep telling me that NASA always have sent chicken propelled rockets to space Look at all the "Apollo" missions, he say
- I'm unemployed and asked my friend for advice. He told me: Get a job at NASA, they always have space.
- What do you call a space agency that doesn't go to space? NASA.
- NASA had a supply of rib eye on the last flight to the international space station to see how meat cooked in space. They called it their most important mission. Because the steaks were never higher.
Space Launch Jokes
Here is a list of funny space launch jokes and even better space launch puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If Canada launched a space shuttle, what would it be called? Apollo G
- A brand new car is being launched in Portugal, which includes space in the boot for a child. It's called the Renault McCann
- Why did Elon Musk put a camera on his car when he launched it into space? The flat earthers unionized
- Elon Musk launched the falcon heavy hoping to start a space race... Of course he wants a space race, he's the only one with a car up there
- What is the difference between the American Revolutionary War and several cows being launched into space? One was the shot heard around the world and the other is a herd shot around the world.
- My friend just launched the second hubble into space... A hubble bubble.
- Godspeed Elon Musk I hope you successfully launch that heavy load into space.
- The Canadian space program suffered a serious set back, today. During launch, there was a major malfunction in the primary propulsion system of the first stage vehicle. The rubber band broke.
- By launching a Tesla to Mars Space X has accomplished the primary goal of the Boring Company. Avoiding LA traffic!
- Elon Musk should launch a cow into space next. He could really raise the steaks to new heights in the space industry
Space Force Jokes
Here is a list of funny space force jokes and even better space force puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call an NCO in the Space Force? A stargeant
- President Trump's greatest accomplishment was making us give the Coast Guard the respect that it deserves as a branch of the Armed Forces. He accomplished this by creating the Space Force.
- I'm not sure if the US should build a space force The costs would skyrocket
- With this new Space Force being stood up... I've already been hearing that enlistment bonuses are going to be astronomical.
- With the new Space Force I heard America was building their very own Death Star...and the rebels are going to pay for it
- The new Space Force is going to cost the government billions in unforeseen expenses. The military housing allowance will go through the roof because the cost of living in space is astronomical.
- A marine, a navi seal and a Space Force.... Trumpfurine spaceman sitting by the fire.... well what are we going to call spaceforce people anyway?
- With the new announcement of the space force, Donald Trump decided to call this branch... Space Patrol Delta! The catch phrase will be, SPD emergency.
- With the space force being created, one thing is clear. Trump was confused by which aliens are invading.
- Trump was obviously joking when he said Space Force He meant Strategic Defense Initiative Organization Again
Space Invader Jokes
Here is a list of funny space invader jokes and even better space invader puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Me: Mom, you're invading my personal space Mom: Well, you came out of my personal space, so that makes us even.
- What do you call an extremely clingy alien? A personal space invader.
- What's a COVID denier's favorite video game? Space Invaders.
- What game should you not play when social distancing? Space invaders
- What is Joe Biden's favorite video game? Space Invaders
- Would you say Kevin Spacey was a Trekkie? Or more a Space Invader?
- What's Hitlers favorite video game? Space Invaders
- What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A Space Invader.
- Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Space Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about space you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean planet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make space pranks.
An old Ukrainian is cleaning his hunting rifle one day when his grandson runs in
"Grandfather, the radio says that the Russians have gone into space!"
"All of them?" he asks, putting down his rifle.
"No, only one."
He starts cleaning the rifle again.
I just went to the Air & Space museum.
Man do I feel ripped off. It was just an empty room.
I went to the Space and Air Museum in Indiana...
I paid $20 just to see an empty warehouse.
Why didn't the dog want to go into outer space?
Because he was scared of vacuums!
How do you organize a party in outer space?
You planet.
What do you do when you see a space man?
Park the car, man.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ole and Sven are flying a plane over northern Minnesota
Ole is the pilot, and they are approaching their destination. Sven looks out the window and sees the runway in the distance. He notices the runway looks rather short and says, "Y'know, Ole, dat looks like a really short runway."
Ole replies, "Oh, don't worry. Dis is a small plane after all. Dere's plenty of space for us to land."
As they get closer, Sven sees that the runway is indeed very short, and he says, "Ole, I don't know bout dis, it looks like dat runway is too short."
Ole says, "Ok, I'll press da brakes as hard as I can when we come down, how bout dat?"
But Sven isn't reassured very much. At this point, he can see that the runway is almost certainly too short for them to land. He says, "Ole! Dis runway is way too short. we're gonna c**...!"
Ole says, "Oh shut up. I'll just put de plane in reverse as soon as we land, that'll do it."
So, the plane touches down, and despite Ole's best efforts, they do go off the runway and into the fence. The plane flips over a few times and is heavily damaged, but luckily both Ole and Sven are relatively unharmed. The two climb out of the wreckage, and Sven says, "You see, I was right! Dis runway was too short!"
Ole looks up and down the runway, and then he says, "Aye, it was really short. But look at how *wide* it is!"
The Irishman's parking space
An Irishman is trying to find a parking space outside his local pub on a busy evening, but cannot find a single one.
He looks skyward and says, "Lord, if you grant me this space, I'll come to Church every Sunday like a good Catholic should."
Low and behold, a space opens up right in front of him at which time, he looks skyward again and says, "Never mind, I found one."
What do you call it when you open a soda for a buddy who is in outer space?
An astrofizzassist.
Why is outer space so clean?
It's a vacuum!
I went to the National Air and Space Museum in DC...
There was a lot more stuff in there than I'd expected
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
He needed space.
What's a gay man's favorite planet?
Earth, most likely. Unless he's personally interested in space exploration, in which case he might say Mars.
What do you call an iPhone 6S that ran out memory space.
Successful
Proof of God
Every atheist becomes a theist if you give them a little space
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear there was a nuclear e**... in space this morning?!
Most people call it the sun.
Note: My dad pulled this on me this morning. My friend hit me when I told them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a group of hot moms in space?
THE MILFY WAY!
Air and Space Museum
So a 5 year old boy is walking around in the air and space museum, but he doesn't seem to be having a good time. Naturally, his mom asks him what's bothering him, and he responds: "Mom, it's just too boeing."
I went to the Air and Space Museum
It wasn't as empty as I thought it'd be.
When a woman asks for some time, and some space...
... she's trying to calculate speed
Want to know why I like space heaters?
"They make great housewarming gifts"
If you're an astronaut..
and you don't end every relationship with "I need space" then you're just wasting your time
How much free space does Europe have ?
1 GB.
I don't care if you don't like space puns. I like space puns.
Comet me bro.
How do you calm down an astronaut?
Give him some space
Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space.
It's about time, too.
I hate breakups.
Especially when they try to let you down gently.
"It's not you, it's me" "I just need some space" "We can still be cousins".
My girlfriend found one of my puns so funny that she flew into space and told it to an alien. Unfortunately, the alien didn't laugh.
Personally, I think she took the joke a bit too far.
"I'm not a fool..."
An illiterate man loses his cheque book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your cheque book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: I am not a fool... I already signed all the cheques, so there is no space to forge my signature..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Aliens meet at a Bar in Deep Space
Two Aliens meet in a bar in deep space.
**First Alien:** On my way here I passed a beautiful blue world, 2/3 covered by water, The dominant race have discovered Satellite technology and Harnessed the power of nuclear weapons for defense.
**Second Alien:** Interesting, so it looks like we have an emerging intelligence in the Galaxy.
**First Alien:** That is what i thought but then I realized they pointed them at themselves.
Why don't ethnic and gender studies majors become astronauts?
Because there's no such thing as safe space.
What currency do they use in space?
Starbucks
A man is looking for a parking space
Everywhere he looks, it seems as if every single space has been taken. Though never much of a church goer, the man looks up to the sky and says, "God, if you give me a parking space, I promise I'll stop sinning and go to church." Suddenly, a parking space opens up right in front of him.
"Never mind. I found one."
Why do space rocks taste better than Earth rocks?
Because they're a little meteor
An atheist walks into a bar that's full, and someone gets up and offers him a space. Why doesn't he take it?
Because then he'd be a theist.
I am the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, And the end of every place. What am I?
The letter 'e'.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How can you tell if an astronaut is gay?
You can't. There's no orientation in space.
How to use and 5 times in a row grammatically
A man owned a store called This And That and hired another man to make a sign for it.
When it was finished the owner inspected the work.
He discovered that the spaces were wrong so he said, The space between This and And and And and That is different. Please fix it
In space, every book is a good book
You simply can't put it down.
Why are dogs afraid of outer space?
Because it's a vacuum.
Parking a single car doesn't require much space.
But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot.
What do you call a tangled rope in space?
Astro-knot.
Why did Jim buy his friend a space heater?
It was a housewarming gift!
My first day as a car salesman...
Customer: Cargo space?
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Manager: Can I see you in my office?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you've had s**... with less than 536 people, then having s**... with you is a more exclusive club than going into space.
I though I'd post something my ex-girlfriend could feel good about.
Elon Musk: Did you move my car?
Team: Yeah.
Elon: Into the parking space, like I asked?
Team: Parking!?
The Trump administration is like the International Space Station
They're in constant free fall, and they needed Russia's help to get there
It's true that the Russians where the first to send a dog into space
It's also true that the Russians were first to put a monkey into the white house
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space
My girlfriend says she needs some space.
Which is confusing because I thought my imagination was limitless.
Space colonization
I: :think: :I: :may: :have: :figured: :it: :out
Why do they call it Space X?
Because if they named it Space E all the rockets would hit on little boys.
My bank account is huge.
It has lots of space for the money I don't have.
What do you get when you empty the Smithsonian?
The Air and Space museum.
Customer: I want cargo space
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly
Manager: See me in my office
Overcome with the beauty of the Earth from space, the astronaut removed his helmet
The view was breathtaking
When you're trying to slingshot around Jupiter but you run out of fuel and end up on a collision course with one of Jupiter's moons...
Europa creek with no paddle.
I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.
200Years in the future.
A team of the smartest people on earth go to a distant planet, believed to have life. When they land they're greeted by 3aliens. They speak perfect english.
"Leave outsiders. This is our home planet, only trusted individuals are allowed here!"
The space group is quite surprised by this. Most of them think about turning back and going to earth. When one man in the back of the group, Unseen by the aliens, Shows himself. Upon his sight the aliens appear to become much more peaceful with the humans.
"Oh you brought Dave with you! Why didn't you say so."
Why do all Russian Cosmonauts only drink black coffee?
Because in space, no one here use cream.
What is black and white and flies through space?
A cowmet!
Another Blonde Joke
A blonde, an American, and a Russian are in a bar, bragging about why they're better. The Russian says, "We were the first into space!" The American says, "We were the first on the moon!" The blonde says,"Well we're going to be the first on the sun!"
The American says,"You know you can't do that, right? You'll burn up before you get there." The blonde says,"Well we're not dumb! We're going to go at night!"
A flat-Earther died, and to his surprise found himself standing on a cloud in front of the gates of heaven
A flat-Earther died, and to his surprise found himself standing on a cloud in front of the gates of heaven. God himself was there and told him he would be happy to answer any questions the man might have - about anything across the entirety of Space and Time.
So of course the man said - "Was I right? Is the earth actually flat?" and God chuckled and said "Of course not".
The man shook his head in disbelief, shaken to his very core, before murmuring "...this goes even higher than I thought..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In space you don't have hemroids...
you have assteroids.
