Spa Jokes
45 spa jokes and hilarious spa puns to laugh out loud. Read places jokes about spa that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the funniest jokes about your favorite spa treatments! From funny foot spa stories to jokes about saunas or exfoliating ointments, learn why having a sense of humor is essential at the spa pool.
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Funniest Spa Short Jokes
Short spa jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spa humour may include short sauna jokes also.
- I took my grandma to one of those fish spa's where the fish eat your dead skin Sooooo much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery.
- Dark I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery. - I took my grandma to a new spa.. I took my grandmother to a new spa where they have little fish eat away at your dead skin for only $40.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery. - My main job is as a male nanny, but I don't get healthcare when I'm sick, I get spa days It's because I need a Manicure!
^^^I ^^^^am ^^^^^actually ^^^^^^a ^^^^^^Nanny - I spent all day hanging out at the spa. Until they told me I had to tuck it back in again.
- Wife's just back from the spa, says she feels like a new woman Apparently "Me too" wasn't the right response.
- I just booked a vacation at the Sandal Resort and Spa It's the singles version of Sandals.
- Why did the chickens go to the spa when their house got destroyed They needed to rest and recoop
- What do you call spaghetti from the hood? Spa-ghetto. Or just spaghetti because we're not racists.
- Today, I went to a spa that used melted cheese (Of course not hot) to treat my skin. And I got to say. I felt _grate_ after!
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Spa One Liners
Which spa one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spa? I can suggest the ones about salon and bath.
- What do you get when you add pool noodles to a hot tub? Spa-ghetti
- Why did twenty go to a spa? Because it was two tens.
- For Sale: Dwarf Jacuzzi Can also be used as a foot spa.
- De Spa nish Inquisition
- What does a massage therapist have for dinner...? SPA-ghetti!
- Why did they pull a lawsuit against the spa for their wax treatment? It was a ripoff.
- What are the most known lyrics to the most trendy russian song? De-Spa-Shiba
- What do you call a male only spa? The Massagonist
- What do you call a day spa employee who hates female customers? A massagynist.
- What do we call an Italian Spa ? SPA-ghetti !
- What do you call an Angry Bird who just got back from the spa? A Bird.
- How does scientists fight with each other? They SPA.
- What's h**...'s favorite spa treatment? Ethnic cleansing
- The reason why Space X has a spa Is because without Spa it would be s**....
- On a scale of 1 - 10, how hot is that waxing guy at the spa? Like, a Brazilian!
Hilarious Spa Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about spa you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean facility jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spa pranks.
A pig goes to the doctors with swine flu.
The doctor gives him a leaflet for a therapeutic spa and tells him to go straight there.
When he gets there he's instructed to lay in a shallow bath of salt and sugar.
He chuckles to himself and thinks, "what's this supposed to do, cure me!"
A husband and wife are checking out of a hotel
Receptionist: "That will be $400, sir"
Husband: "But we only stayed one night! Why is it so expensive???"
Receptionist: "We are a 5 star hotel, sir, with a world class private golf course and one of the finest spas in the country."
Husband: "But we didn't use the golf course, and we didn't go to the spa!"
Receptionist: "I understand, sir, but it was there if you wanted to."
The husband pulls out $100 and hands it to the receptionist.
Receptionist: "excuse me, sir, but you're $300 short"
Husband: "The cost for sleeping with my wife is $300"
Receptionist: "I did not sleep with your wife!!!"
Husband: "I understand, but she was there if you wanted to."
When I worked as Tech Support for an ISP I had a woman call outraged that we allowed "filth" on her computer...
After she calmed down slightly she explained that her 10 year old Granddaughter was sleeping over and they were having a "Spa Night" and did a web search on "Facials". . . .I was able to hit the mute button in time to avoid making matters far worse... True Story!
So, the God decides he needs a vacation...
He goes to meet his travel agent:
"We have a special on Andromeda, Cthulu resort." - Nah it's way too hot...
"How'bout skiing in Pillars Of Creation?" - Maybe something cheaper, this time?
"Well, You may try the Earth, Solar System new Spa, great price".
- ... Been there like 2000 years ago, mate, made one chick pregnant.
They still keep talking about this...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife asked for a spa day for her birthday
I can't wait till she unwraps it, and I tell her it's pronounced s**....
Checking out the birth facility
My pregnant daughter and her husband were checking out a new birth facility that was more like a spa. The birthing room had a hot tub, soft music, and candlelight.
"What do you think?" she said
He looked around. "Isn't this how we got here in the first place?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Have you heard that Bernie Sanders has started a spa?
He puts the "jew" back in rejuvenation!
I thought I could use a massage in these stressful times...
So I found a spa that was open last night.
Receptionist: Good evening and welcome sir! Would you like to try our Aromatherapy massage with lavender and chamomile?
Me: How much does it cost?
Receptionist: That would be $150
Me: Thats very expensive for me. Do you have something cheaper?
Receptionist: We do have a regular coconut oil massage for our budget conscious customers. That would be just $50
Me: Uhh... Do you have something even more cheaper?
The receptionist thought for a while and said
We'll pay you $37 to get massaged with a barrel of crude oil
An elderly man goes into his doctors office for an annual physical.
After a while, the doctor comes out and says, "I'm sorry Bill, but we have discovered you have a condition which only allows you another 6 weeks to live."
"But Doctor," Bill replied, "I feel great. I haven't felt better in years. This just can't be true. Isn't there anything I can do?"
After a moment the doctor said, "Well, you might start going down the street to that new health spa and take a mud bath every day."
Excitedly Bill asked, "And that will cure me?" "No," replied the doctor, "but it will get you used to the dirt."
So a hunter
made a deal with his wife that if he catches a bear, she would field clean and prepare it. If he doesn't, she gets a day at the spa.
He walked out of their hunting lodge to his favorite spot and waited for a bear to pass by.
He sees a few creatures, but not the trophy he's looking for. An hour goes by...two hours... three hours, and then finally, there it is. The biggest bear he'd ever seen. Well, he slowly, quietly picks up his gun, aims, pulls the trigger, and "click" the gun jams.
"Uh oh" thinks the hunter, as he starts to get up to get out of there. But, the bear noticed and moved towards him. This caused the hunter to run, and the bear gave chase. He ran faster than he ever had before, all the way back to the hunting lodge. He thought he was in the clear, but he tripped going up the steps to the front door.
The bear jumps right over him and through the door into the house. The hunter shouts from outside " You clean this one, I'm gonna go get another one"
