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Soviet Potato Jokes

12 soviet potato jokes and hilarious soviet potato puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about soviet potato that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Soviet Potato Short Jokes

Short soviet potato jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The soviet potato humour may include short russian potato jokes also.

  1. What's 500m long and eats only potatoes? People in Soviet Union waiting in line for meat.
  2. Potato is like Soviet r**... Potato is like Soviet r**.... Not come everyday, but fill you up when is come.

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Soviet Potato One Liners

Which soviet potato one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with soviet potato? I can suggest the ones about soviet and latvian potato.

  1. What is five hundred meters long and eats only potatoes? Soviet bread line.

Soviet Potato Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about soviet potato you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean soviet russia jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make soviet potato pranks.

The Soviet chairman asks a high ranking party member about potato supplies

Chairman: How does our potato supply look?
Party member: We have so many potatoes that, if they were piled one on top of another, they could reach God.
Chairman: But God does not exist.
Party member: Neither do the potatoes.

One of my favorite Reagan jokes:

A Soviet Diplomat goes to one of the farms in Russia, and approaches the farmer.
How are the carrots doing? Said the Diplomat.
Oh, the carrots are as big and orange as ever! Replies the farmer.
I see, and how are the beets?
Oh, sir, if Gorbachev saw these beets, he would cry with joy!
And what about the potatoes?
Sir, if we stacked the potatoes, they would be high enough to reach God!
The diplomat stares for a minute. But comrade, we don't believe in god.
Oh, good. Says the farmer. Because there are no potatoes.

Potatoes For Everyone!

A party official asks a farmer how things are going, and the farmer replies that the harvest is so bountiful that the potatoes would reach the ''foot of God'' if piled on top of one another.
''But this is the Soviet Union,'' says the commissar, ''there is no God here.'' The farmer replies, ''That's all right, there are no potatoes, either.''

One day the commissar was inspecting a potato farm in the Soviet Union and asked the farmer how his yields were.

The farmer said Oh commissar, the potatoes are so bountiful that together they can reach the foot of God. The commissar stopped and said Have you forgotten your communist teachings!? There is no God! To which the farmer said Exactly, that's why there's no potatoes.

A commissar visits a potato farm

The party official asks a farmer how things are going, and the farmer replies that the harvest is so bountiful that the potatoes would reach the ''foot of God'' if piled on top of one another.
''But this is the Soviet Union,'' says the commissar, ''there is no God here.'' The farmer replies, ''That's all right, there are no potatoes, either.''
One of Reagan's favourite jokes.

Latvia in WW2

Latvian man sent to front in Great Patriotic War. No potato, much shooting. Is captured by Germans. Germans send to POW camp. Get own potato as prisoner! But Soviets liberate camp, take all potato. Man dies in Siberia.

At an international military convention during the Cold War,

various generals from around the world gathered to brag about their accomplishments. An American general stood up and proudly stated, "In the US military, all of our soldiers get 3000 calories a day and we can raise it to 5000 during periods of hard training."
A Soviet general, upon hearing this, glared at his American counterpart, pulled out his notepad, and started scribbling furiously. Before the next general could speak, he slapped the table, pointed at the American, and shouted, "You liar! No soldier could possibly eat 7 kilograms of potatoes a day!"
I heard this joke while studying Russian in Georgia. Hopefully it translates to English ok :)

A Soviet Russian food collector and a farmer

A Soviet official in charge of collecting food from farms goes to a local farm and is greatly warmly by the farmer.
After some light hearted conversation, the official says, "Anyways, I am here to collect the potatoes you have grown."
The farmer replies, "Oh, yes. This has been a marvelous year. We have grown so many potatoes, that if we put them all into a pile, it would reach the foot of God."
The official replies, "That is ridiculous. You know that in Soviet Russia, there is no God."
The farmer responds, "That is fine. We have no potatoes either."