Southerner Jokes
40 southerner jokes and hilarious southerner puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about southerner that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the best southerner jokes from the north, the south, the Midwest and beyond. Laugh along as these redheaded jokes explore the humorous differences between northerners and southerners.
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Funniest Southerner Short Jokes
Short southerner jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The southerner humour may include short southern girl jokes also.
- My Southern friends are like "K"s they're alright when they are by themselves, but get 3 of 'em together and it gets pretty racist
- Record low temperatures causing snow and freezing all over the southern United States. Finally: white people in Texas are having problems with ICE.
- Did you know that dogs chase their tails clockwise in the southern hemisphere and counter-clockwise in the northern hemisphere? It's called the Corgi-olis Effect.
- In the northern hemisphere, small dogs chase their tails clockwise, but in the southern hemisphere, they chase them counter-clockwise. This is due to the corgiolis effect.
- Why is the South the best place to hide in case of zombie takeover? Southerner zombies don't have any teeth to bite with.
- The state of Florida is a navigational anomaly... The further north you go the more southern it gets.
- Did you know that calculus was never taught in southern schools before the 1960s? They didn't believe in integration.
- What's the difference between a Yankee zoo and a Southern zoo? The Yankee zoo will have the name of the animal and its Latin name. The Southern zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.
- What does a southern belle playing Magic the Gathering say when her opponent disrupts her mana production? My lands!
- Below our Southern border is filled with chaos, violence, and corruption. The government is in shambles and the people are always fighting amongst themselves. Thank god I live in Canada.
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Southerner One Liners
Which southerner one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with southerner? I can suggest the ones about deep south and southeast.
- Southern France is Nice But Gibraltar totally rocks!
- What do Southerners have in common with peanut butter? They are both usually in bread.
- What do you call a southern divorce? A secession from the union.
- What's the rarest category on Jeopardy? Contestants with southern accents
- How do southerners speak of addiction recovery? With drawl
- What do you call a southern lumberjack a tree feller
- What's the worst part of going to a southern family reunion? Seeing your ex.
- What do you call a racist, southern bakery? Cake Cake Cake
- Police: We're looking for pirates Me (a Southerner): Y'ar?
- How do you derail a Norfolk Southern Train? Put it on the tracks.
- Why not go to southern France? There's nothing Toulouse
- What do you call it when 2 Southern people betray each other? Betra-y'all
- I'm writing a southern rock song about chicken eggs... ...it's called "Prebird"
- Southerners can do pretty good civil war voice impressions.... General Lee speaking.
- My friend just bought a house in a coastal city in southern France. It's Nice.
Northerner Southerner Jokes
Here is a list of funny northerner southerner jokes and even better northerner southerner puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the southern side of the tree say to the northern side when it died? I'm sorry for your moss
I made this up and I apologise. It's awful. - If the Southern States of the US annexed the northern part of Mexico right now... The average I.Q. of both countries would go up
- What is the difference between northern and southern zoos? Southern zoos have a description of the animals along with a recipe.
- What's the difference between a northern and a southern fairytale? A northeren fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins"Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**......"
- There are subtle differences in the Northern and Southern Dialect Northern Euphemism for *long d**...*
>My pp is PARTY SIZE
Southern Euphemism for *long d**...*
>My pp is FAMILY SIZE
Giggle-Inducing Southerner Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about southerner you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean southern baptist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make southerner pranks.
What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?
A northern fairy tale begins, Once upon a time, …
A southern fairy tale begins, Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit…!
Two Southern belles are walking down a country road.
They are out enjoying a sunset walk and admiring the scenery, when they come across a man taking photographs. The man, being awestruck at the beauty of the two ladies, asks if he can take their picture with the setting sun in the background.
The ladies discuss the idea and eventually agree.
The photographer begins setting up his tripod and adjusting his camera.
One of the ladies asks, "What is he doing?"
The other replies, in a thick Southern drawl, "He's going to focus."
Then the first says, "Both of us?"
An old man is on his death bed and calls all his family and the priest.
He says to his first son "I want you to have all the property in the north of the town, I have 16 houses there."
He says to his second son "I want you to have all my commercial property, 8 businesses."
He says to his third son "I want you to have the houses in the southern district, there are only 4, but they are expensive and lucrative."
The old man passes away and the priest says "That is unbelievable, he must have been incredibly wealthy?"
The old man's widow laughs and says "He was a Window Cleaner"
Did you know? In Marseille, they actually give you a certificate with every souvenir you buy, as a means of demonstrating that it's a genuine product of southern France.
It's proven Provence province provenance.
Once I was walking along the Golden Gate Bridge
Once I was walking along the Golden Gate Bridge and I saw this guy about to jump.
I said, "Don't jump."
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me too! What denomination?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist, Great Lakes Conference, or Northern Conservative Baptist, Eastern Conference?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist, Great Lakes Conference."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1912."
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him off.
--Emo Philips
the case for the lost bicycle
A Methodist preacher and a Baptist preacher live in a small southern town. Every day, they pass each other on their bycycles as they ride to their respective churches. One day, the Methodist notices the Baptist walking.
He says "Brother, where is your bicycle?"
"My heart is heavy, for I fear that a member of my congregation has stolen it" replied the Baptist.
"That's horrible." Thinking for a moment, the Methodist has an idea. "I know how we might get your bike back. This Sunday, you should preach the ten commandments. When you get to thou shalt not steal, really bear down on it. Maybe the theif will feel guilty and return your bike."
"That's a great idea, I'll try it!"
Sure enough, the following Monday, the Methodist preacher sees the Baptist Preacher riding his bike.
"I see my plan worked" said the Methodist.
"Well, not exactly" replied the Baptist. "I did like you said, and gave a real fire and brimstone sermon on the ten commandments. However, when I got to thou shalt no commit adultery, I remembered where I left my bike."
So why don't Southern Belles attend o**... any more?
Too many thank-you notes to write
I'm from the southern US, is it OK to poke fun at myself?
Why don't schools in the south teach Driver's Ed and s**... Ed on same day?
Too hard on the mule.
If Italian bread is Italian bread, and French bread is French bread, what do you call southern bread
i**...
Why does it take southerners so long to do their chores?
Because slavery is i**....
A Southern lady sits down next to a Yankee businesswoman on a plane. Trying to be friendly, the Southerner asks, "So, where ya'all from?"
The Yankee sniffs in disdain and replies, "Where I'm from, we don't end our sentences in prepositions!"
The lady, a little shocked by the rudeness says, "Aight, where ya'all from, b**...?"
"Y'know with all the civil unrest, political corruption, class divides, drug smuggling, gang wars, police brutality, gun violence, and poor education maybe building a wall to protect us from our southern neighbors isn't such a bad idea"
\- Canada
