Southern Redneck Jokes
5 southern redneck jokes and hilarious southern redneck puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about southern redneck that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Silly Southern Redneck Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What is a good southern redneck joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
What do Vietnamese historians and Southern r**... have in common?
They both care way too much about the Đức Dynasty.
The Gorilla and the r**...
A small zoo in Georgia obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became impossible to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the gorilla was in heat, and her aggressive behavior could only be relieved with s**... interaction with a male counterpart. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
After considering nearly all possible options, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a r**... part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, a very strong physical man, had little sense but was always bragging about his h**... tonk women. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:
"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
"Second", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this, and I mean no one." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Third", Bobby Lee said, "In the event that there are offspring, I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.
And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'm gonna need another week to come up with the $500.00."
Southern Gas Station Promotion
A gas station owner near Camden , Alabama was trying to increase his sales. So he put up a sign that read, Free s**... with Fill-Up."
Soon a local r**... pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free s**.... The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free s**.... The r**... guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close! The number was 7. Sorry; no s**... this time."
A week later, the same r**..., along with his brother, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free s**.... The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The r**... guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but NO free s**... this time."
As they were driving away, the r**... said to his brother, "I think that game is RIGGED, and he doesn't really give away FREE s**...." Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My WIFE won twice last week."
Three men waited patiently for their babies to be born...
One was a black man, another was a m**..., and the final was a southern r**.... From the maternity ward, they hear their wives cry in the final push to give birth, but just then all the lights go out. There's a huge commotion and finally after several minutes the lights come back on. The head obstetrician comes out to speak to the new fathers.
"I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your wives are just fine, and you each have a brand new baby boy. The bad news is that with the loss of electricity and all the commotion of childbirth, we sort of lost track of which baby is which. The only thing I can think of to do is let each of you go in and choose the baby you think is yours."
The southern r**... speaks up, "Well, i want to go first. I just won't have it any other way!"
The r**... goes in to view the newborns, and comes out a moment later with a black baby.
The black man protests, "Hey, you know that's not your baby!"
The r**... replies, "Maybe so, but at least I know it's not a d**... m**...!"
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.
As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat.
Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual s**... Studies Convention in Chicago".
He swallowed hard.
Here was the gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting about s**... studies!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my extensive personal experience to share interesting facts about sexuality.
"Really," he gulped,"like what?"
"Well," she explained, "For instance, Native American Indians are the most passionate. While Jewish men are the most likely to satisfy a woman fully. And in terms of lasting the longest, surprisingly it's the Southern r**...."
Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.
"I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."
"Um, Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."
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