South Jokes
180 south jokes and hilarious south puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about south that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the hilarity of South jokes from North vs South, Deep South, South African, Aleutian, Kentucky and West. From comparing the customs and quirks of different regions, to lighthearted one-liners about southern pride and culture, these jokes give us all something to chuckle about.
Quick Jump To
Funniest South Short Jokes
Short south jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The south humour may include short north jokes also.
- Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Thank god I live in Canada
- How did kim kardashian tell her kid about her upcoming divorce with Kanye? North, things between West and I have gone South.
- When I professed my love to a female friend she told me she loved me like a brother... We are from the south so things are going good.
- You guys know how the toothbrush was invented in the south? Because if it was invented in the north, it would've been called a teethbrush.
- Why are crimes in the 'Deep South' so hard to solve? There's no dental records & all the DNA matches...
- Tesla founder elon musk is originally from South Africa, which is strange You'd think he was from mad-at-gas-car.
- The country would be a lot better off if the South had won the war..... ...General Lee speaking
- North Korea is participating in the olympics this year, but they won't win. Because all of their athletes that can run jump or swim are in south korea
- Why can chess Bishops only more diagonally? Because north, south, east and west are Cardinal directions.
- I don't get why Japanese people and South Korean people just can't get along. I mean, they're all Chinese.
Share These South Jokes With Friends
South One Liners
Which south one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with south? I can suggest the ones about east and west.
- Why don't they teach Calculus in the Deep South? Because they don't like integration.
- I want to visit north Korea one day... before everything goes south.
- I met a nice guy online. He says he's from South Korea. I think he might be my Seoulmate
- How south is South Africa? South AF
- Why is the south bad at calculus? They don't know how to integrate.
- Why is teaching calculus so difficult in the South? They hate integration
- Why did North Korea fight South Korea? Because North Korea has no Seoul
- How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A Brazilian.
- What is the most popular dating website in the south? Ancestry.com
- TIL 50% of South Koreans have cataracts. The other 50% drive Rincolns.
- What do South Koreans call their spouses? Seoulmates
- South Korea is famous for their R&B music. They've really got Seoul.
- Why are South Koreans better dancers than North Koreans? They've got Seoul.
- Did you hear about the failed mission to Antarctica? Their journey went south.
- What does the south call friends with benefits? Cousins.....
North South Jokes
Here is a list of funny north south jokes and even better north south puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the pole vault champion of North Korea? He's now the pole vault champion of South Korea.
- A South Korean asks a North Korean How's life? The North Korean responds Well, I can't complain.
- A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family. He is the seoul breadwinner
- I once took a holiday to the North Pole It was great while I was there but after that my holiday just went south.
- I'll be so demoralised if North Korea decides to invade South Korea... It'd be Seoul destroying
- North Korea has finished nuking the South, and there was one man left alive. He was the Seoul survivor.
- What do North Koreans lack that South Koreans do not? North Koreans have no Seoul.
- North Korea has declared a 'cultural war' on K-pop coming in from the South. They decided the best way to counter this would be to creat their own genre of music. They have named it K-Boom.
- Why did the North Korean defect to South Korea? He did some seoul searching.
- On my first trip to the North Pole I realised... ... it's all going south from here.
South Korea Jokes
Here is a list of funny south korea jokes and even better south korea puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- President of South Korea Impeached. Hopefully the USA will follow suit, and have their president deoranged.
- I'm talking to this girl from South Korea. She says I'm just a friend.... But she's my Seoul mate
- Why North Korea falling in love with South Korea? Because South Korea has a beautiful Seoul
- In South Korea, you can always find a party. In North Korea, the party always find you.
- What's the difference between North Korea amd South Korea? North Koreans have no Seoul.
Thought of this very early in the morning waiting to board a plane. - Why aren't there many North Koreans in the Olympics? Because anyone who can run, swim, or jump is in South Korea
- So I was visiting South Korea but I forgot my phone and I had no map. It was a true Seoul searching journey.
- Korean joke The number of South Korea's boys band singers is enough to defeat North Korea's entire army.
- There have been no major protests against former Park Geun-hye's imprisonment. No Free Park-ing in South Korea.
- What did Shang Tsung say after conquering South Korea? "Your Seoul is mine!"
South America Jokes
Here is a list of funny south america jokes and even better south america puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between your mom and an alpaca? One's a hairy beast that spits and the other's native to South America.
- Hey did you guys know South America is getting overpopulated? Yea, there's like a brazilian people there.
- How many people live in South America? A Brazilian.
- What's the one problem that everyone from Asia, Africa, North America, South America, Antarctica, Europe, and Australia have in common? Living within continents.
- What's the coldest country in South America? I don't know but it's probably pretty Chile
- If it weren't for Abraham Lincoln,... America would have really gone South.
- What pokemon does South America have that other continents don't? Zikachu.
- Bernie Sanders got twice the votes as Hillary Clinton, but less delegates. This should help him in South Carolina as he officially now understands the struggle of being black in America.
- I like my girls like I like my coffee... Fresh, not matured, and sold from a shady part of South America.
- How much does it cost to fly to South America? A Brazillion dollars
(I stole this from Trixie Mattel)
South American Jokes
Here is a list of funny south american jokes and even better south american puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common? Both are measured in revolutions per minute.
- Okay, Lama spelled with one 'L' is a holy man in Tibet. With two 'L's, a llama is a South American pack animal. So, what is a three 'L' lama?
A big fire in Boston. - How many South Americans does it take to cross the Atlantic A Brazilian
- Doctor Doolittle spies an unfamiliar crocodilian on a South American riverbank. He calls out "I say! Are you a cayman?"
"Not bad, how 'bout you?" answers the croc. - South American families are a real threat to American national security... They draw their power from nuclear families. That's why the president is disarming them at the border.
- How many South American's does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian.
- Did you hear about the new cooling device for the lower jaw of a south American rodent? It's a chinchilla chin chiller.
- What do you see at a South American horse race? A Guyana horse
- Lightning McQueen was saying goodbye to some of his South American friends Kay, Tchau!
- What do south americans use to cut pizza? Little caesars
North Vs South Jokes
Here is a list of funny north vs south jokes and even better north vs south puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- "What's the difference between South Korean food and North Korean food?" "Food Vs No Food At all"
- The difference between North Korea and South Korea isn't so black vs. white It's more like black & white vs. color.
Ridiculous South Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about south you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean continental jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make south pranks.
Missing South Africa
In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
"I miss South Africa."
So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read:
"I hope this helps."
whats the diffrence between a tornado and a divorce in the south?
nothing. sombodys losing a trailer!
As migration approached, two elderly vultures
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.
When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.
"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."
Why is the South the best place to hide in case of zombie takeover?
southerner zombies don't have any teeth to bite with.
Whats the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the south?
Nothing, because either way, someone is losing their trailer.
I'm from the southern US, is it OK to poke fun at myself?
Why don't schools in the south teach Driver's Ed and s**... Ed on same day?
Too hard on the mule.
So George Bush is in his office...
His adviser comes in tells him, "Mr. President I'm afraid I have some bad news. There was an e**... at our embassy in South America, two Americans were killed as well as three Brazilian citizens."
Bush looks at him and says, "Oh my God... How many is a brazilian?"
When the Saxons landed in England...
...they decided to split up into five groups to cover as much ground as possible.
One group headed West and Wessex was born.
A particularly lazy bunch decided to stay exactly at the meeting point and incorporate Middlesex.
Another went South to form Sussex, which is still exactly where they made it, while yet another formed Essex to the East.
Oh, nearly forgot about the very conservative pack who went North. Nobody heard from them again
A North Irish girl lives with her grandmother...
and they find that they are running very low on money. The girl tells her grandma,
"I'm going to head off south to find work, I'll come back with money. I promise."
The girl is gone for many months, and when she returns home she has tons of money! The grandmother is overjoyed and says,
"How did you make all this money, child?"
The girl says in a hushed voice, "Well, I was a p**... grandma."
The grandmother looked enraged, "What did you say?!"
"I was a p**..., grandma! I'm sorry."
The grandmother calms down, "Oh thank God! I thought you said you were a protestant!"
Southwest
A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.
So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. The stewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, "Did your Mom tell you to ask me?"
The boy said, "yes she did."
"Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you."
Did you know that 90% of all dog in South Korea are i**...?
Most commonly it's whole wheat or rye
It's a common misconception that black slaves in the South were uneducated
They all had their masters
Obama goes on vacation to South Carolina and goes for an ocean swim...
And begins to drown! A young lifeguard swims out and rescues him, pulling him back to shore.
"Thank you so much for saving me young lady. Please, tell me what I can do to repay you."
"Aw shucks, I don't need nuthin', sir, it's just ma job!" She says.
"Listen, I'm the President of the United States, I can give you anything you want!"
She thinks for a moment and says "Well, I'd mighty like a plot at the Arlington National Cemetery if ya can do that fer me."
"Why does a young woman like you want a burial plot at the cemetery?"
"Because" she said, "When my friends and family find out what I just did they'll kill me!"
Being from the South, my mother was all about hospitality! Cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry and even foot rubs!
She made me do it all.
So why don't Southern Belles attend o**... any more?
Too many thank-you notes to write
What do you call a gay man from the deep South
a h**...-s**...-y'all
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the South?
Nothing, someone's losing the trailer.
-Robin Williams
Lazy vultures
Two lazy vultures had procrastinated on flying south for the winter until the first frost hit, then they got worried. "We better catch an airplane to Mexico, lets go to the airport!" So they take off down the road, and as luck would have it, they come across two dead road-killed opossums, that had started to get nice and smelly, just like vultures like them. "What luck, we better take these with us, I heard the airlines don't offer meals on the flight anymore." So they each grab a dead opossum, tuck it under their wing, and head on to the terminal. They walk up to the ticket counter and tell they lady "We'd like two tickets to Cancun, please."
"Very well," she says, "Will you be checking any bags?"
"No," say the vultures, holding up the dead opossum carcasses, "we only have carrion."
Why is it always a full tide in South Africa?
Because they made a part tide i**....
I like my women like I like my whiskey...
Light brown, from the south, and kept in a lightless cabinet only to be taken out on special occasions.
What does a South Carolina cop do when a panda runs away from him?
Shoots him 8 times in the black.
A North-Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells "Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!" and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp.
1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.
TIL several states in the South banned calculus from schools in the 1950's.
Apparently they opposed integration.
Breaking News: A ship carrying red paint just collided with a ship carrying purple paint, in the South China Sea.
Authorities report that the crews of both ships are marooned
Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Singaporean, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Monk, an Italian, a Serb, a Russian and an Ethiopian went to a bar.
The bouncer said, "I'm sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai"
What's the difference between a South African prison and Leonardo Dicaprio?
A South African prison has an Oscar
Why does it take southerners so long to do their chores?
Because slavery is i**....
Archeologists in South Africa have just discoved what they think is the oldest t**... ever found
They are trying to find out what period it came from
Elon Musk was born in South Africa, and made an electric car. What if he had been born in Madagascar?
He would have made a gas car
A South African actor walks into his managers office (original joke)
Looking for a job. His manager thinks about it and says "we only have one role available at the moment, it's a short film about segregation"
The actor replies "great, that sounds like a-part-heid take"
My girlfriend's best friend had her arm stuck in the dirt this morning
She asked me how to get her hand out quickly.
I told her, "Dig south for her arm, bae."
Two seismologists have divided California into North and South to be monitored for earthquakes. A deadly magnitude 9 happens right in the middle
The North seismologist says: "why didn't you see the earthquake coming?!"
The South seismologist says: "It's not my Fault!"
What does a South Korean call their lover?
Their Seoul Mate.
What do you get when you put the entire South Carolina cheerleading team in one room?
A full set of teeth.
What did the goose say when he found out about flying south?
Wanna hear migrate idea?
My friend was super excited when his girlfriend said "You're like a brother to me!"
Then I remembered, they're from the south.
Having a baby in the south is like yeast...
Y'know, cause it's in-bread.
What do Southerners have in common with peanut butter?
They are both usually in bread.
What does a tornado and a divorce in the south have in common?
Somebody is losing a trailer
Which city is the South African Superman from?
Cape Town
What does a southern belle playing Magic the Gathering say when her opponent disrupts her mana production?
My lands!
In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves
In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves, so they took it out to different countries for a test. In USA, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves,
UK, in 30 minutes it caught 500 thieves,
Spain in 20 minutes it caught 25 thieves :
Nigeria in 10 minutes it caught 6,000 thieves,
Uganda in 7 minutes it caught 20,000 thieves,
Then they brought it to South Africa , in 5 minutes the machine was stolen.
I've heard that people in the South think everything is better in sandwich form.
Those inbreds.
How is a thrown dictionary similar to birds flying south for winter?
They're both flying information.
You're in the Army Now
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a South Alabama man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
What s**... position are you not allowed to use in the south?
Reverse c**..., you never turn your back on family.
My Southern friends are like "K"s
they're alright when they are by themselves, but get 3 of 'em together and it gets pretty racist
The UN decided to do a worldwide survey...
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge flop. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are on a ridge
And the lone ranger says: "Tonto! There's Indians to the North! And Indians to the West, Indians to the East and Indians to the South! What are we going to do?"
And Tonto goes: "What do you mean we, white man?"
A professor in South Africa is teaching her students how to form Emglish sentences.
Attention class I have two words: Cheetah, and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?
One student raises their hand,
The cheetah is faster dandelion.
What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable in the South?
A vegetable can get married
We don't do reverse c**... down here in the south
Never turn your back on family
I talked to my Republican parents about immigration.
The conversation really went south.
Cop spots a guy driving past with a South American plate. He's eating some kind of Mexican food and has no clothes on! He pulls him over and asks, "Where are you from? What are you eating? Aren't you cold?"
"Chilly", he replies.
Below our Southern border is filled with chaos, violence, and corruption. The government is in shambles and the people are always fighting amongst themselves.
Thank god I live in Canada.
A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a Romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.
The waiter stops them and says Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai.
