South Carolina Jokes
19 south carolina jokes and hilarious south carolina puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about south carolina that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest South Carolina Short Jokes
Short south carolina jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The south carolina humour may include short deep south jokes also.
- What does a South Carolina cop do when a panda runs away from him? Shoots him 8 times in the black.
- What do you get when you put the entire South Carolina cheerleading team in one room? A full set of teeth.
- Bernie Sanders got twice the votes as Hillary Clinton, but less delegates. This should help him in South Carolina as he officially now understands the struggle of being black in America.
- I know a guy from North Carolina who spent 200 million on the lotto. He said that if he doesn't win, his life savings are gonna go south.
- I feel bad for everyone in Florence, South Carolina. This hurricanes got their name on it.
- Why did that guy shoot up the church in South Carolina? He thought it was the white thing to do.
- Did you hear about the South Carolina r**... who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch it until she's fourteen.
- Why is it i**... for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina? Because he's alive.
- In the wake of the Coastal Carolina scandal, it breaks my heart that we, as a society have young people that are forced... ...to pay women from South Carolina for s**....
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South Carolina One Liners
Which south carolina one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with south carolina? I can suggest the ones about southern and south korea.
- Can Confirm. It's raining in South Carolina.
Comical & Quirky South Carolina Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about south carolina you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean south africa jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make south carolina pranks.
Obama goes on vacation to South Carolina and goes for an ocean swim...
And begins to drown! A young lifeguard swims out and rescues him, pulling him back to shore.
"Thank you so much for saving me young lady. Please, tell me what I can do to repay you."
"Aw shucks, I don't need nuthin', sir, it's just ma job!" She says.
"Listen, I'm the President of the United States, I can give you anything you want!"
She thinks for a moment and says "Well, I'd mighty like a plot at the Arlington National Cemetery if ya can do that fer me."
"Why does a young woman like you want a burial plot at the cemetery?"
"Because" she said, "When my friends and family find out what I just did they'll kill me!"
Lindsey Graham gets new suit
On a Senate trip to Japan, Lindsey Graham picked up some silk to have a custom suit made. At a top notch tailor shop in South Carolina, the tailor said with the material, he could make a single breasted suit.
Graham decided to wait, took the material to a tailor in New York who told him he could make a double breasted suit, a vest, and an extra pair of pants.
He asked, "How can you do so much more with this material than the tailor in South Carolina?"
"Well, senator, I guess you're not as big up here."
True Story from South Carolina
A real estate agent said she saw a for sale sign leaned against a stump in front of a house. She saw a car in the driveway and decided to stop and inquire about the property. She rang the bell, an old man appeared, she explained who she was and asked how much the house was listed for. The old man laughed and said "Lady the house aint for sale, the stump is."
Two weevils grew up in South Carolina
One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.
One went all the way out to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
(real news) A South Carolina woman has been arrested for failing to return a jennifer lopez movie she rented from a video store in 2005.
The woman told police she deeply regretted her mistake *italics* and not returning the movie.
There's a poem contest in South Carolina.
It's down to two contestants...one Harvard grad and one old r**... from the Low Country. They each have 5 minutes to come up with a poem, but they have to use the word "Timbuktu" in the poem to win. The Harvard grad goes first.
"Swiftly cross the desert sands,
Strode a lonely caravan.
One by one on camels drew,
Destination: Timbuktu."
The crowd goes crazy, thinking there's no way the r**... can top that. He walks to the mic, spits out his w**... of tabacco, ponders a second and says:
"Me and Tim a huntin' went.
Met three w**... in a pop-up tent.
They was three and we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu."
s**... After Death
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is s**... after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:
"Marion .... Marion"
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have s**.... I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have s**... again, bathe in the warm sun and then have s**... a couple of more times.. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have s**... the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course again. Then it's more s**... until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep, and then, the next day it starts all over again!
"Oh, Bob! Are you in Heaven?"
"No -- I'm a rabbit somewhere in South Carolina.