The Best 32 South Africans Jokes

Following is our collection of funny South Africans jokes. There are some south africans jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these south africans puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest South Africans Jokes and Puns

What's the difference between a South African prison and Leonardo Dicaprio?

A South African prison has an Oscar

Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Singaporean, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Monk, an Italian, a Serb, a Russian and an Ethiopian went to a bar.

The bouncer said, "I'm sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai"

Which city is the South African Superman from?

Cape Town

A South African actor walks into his managers office (original joke)

Looking for a job. His manager thinks about it and says "we only have one role available at the moment, it's a short film about segregation"
The actor replies "great, that sounds like a-part-heid take"

A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a Romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.

The waiter stops them and says Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai.

Where do South Africans buy their pastrami and salami?

At the Nelson Mandeli.

What floats on water and goes quick?

A South African duck

How many South Africans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Trick question, you can't screw in a lightbulb. There's not enough room.

What's green and goes quick?

A South African duck.

Why are native South African Tribesman immune to lightning?

'cause you can't Shaka Zulu.

Have you heard about the South African man who went to Greece and would only eat cheese?

He got Feta and Feta and Feta.

You can explore south africans reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean south africans dad jokes. There are also south africans puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

When a South African tells me they really love math

I can't work out if they're a nerd or an addict

Why are South Africans so good at doing their laundry?

Because they're used to keeping Whites, Blacks, and Coloureds separate.

Two South Africans were playing a game of golf

Unfortunately, apartheid their game.

A South African miner loses a leg in an accident.

He cries 'Oh no! Who's going to want a one legged gold digger now?'
To which Paul McCartney shouts 'Me!!!!'

where do South Africans learn slang?

Durban Dictionary

Ever hear about the South African SWAT team?

They operate in areas with malaria outbreaks.

I've never dated a South African girl who I've disliked.

Every time I meet one, we click almost immediately.

What do you call a Hindu South African?

Nelson Mandala.

The Beach Boys found some South African money on the floor.



"Get a rand."

"I get a rand."

Me (30M) can't tell if my South African friend (29F) is addicted to drugs or numbers

She keeps saying she loves 'Meths'

If you're addicted to meth , you're either a drug addict...

or a South African addicted to numbers.

If a South African inventor wanted to make a French-sounding cologne, what would he call his new fragrance?

Elan! Musk

How does a South African do their laundry?

Well first you separate the whites and the coloureds...

How does a South African Eskimo get inside his house?

With his Huskies

Hey, remember the south african billionaire who smoked weed on a live podcast and ended up violating the SEC rules?

looks like he apartheid too hard...

How do South African farmers keep their whites so clean?

A part water and a part tide.

A South African-born student was suspended for applying for an African-American student prize.

He didn't fill out his application form correctly.

Shouldn't the Archbishop of Canterbury adopt a Twitter handle @pomtifex ??

The Australians, New Zealanders & South Africans (and thereby the rest of the cricketing world call the English - poms)

Helping your neighbour South African Style

Hello, is this the South African Police?
Eish-Yes. What you want?
I'm calling to report my neighbour, Hendrik van der Merwe! He is hiding dagga (Cannabis) inside his firewood.
Eeeh-Yes…Thank you for your co-operasheen and informasheen in combating crime and violence, in our society suh
The next day, the Police descends on Hendrik's house. They search the braai lapa (BBQ area) where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they chop open every piece of wood, but find no dagga (Cannabis) . They shout and swear at Hendrik and leave.
The phone rings at Hendrik's house.
Hey, Hendrik! Did the Police come?
Ja! (Yes!)
Did they chop your firewood for the braai (BBQ) tonight?
Ja… (Yes...)
Happy birthday my friend!

What do you call it when a South African camalid is having problems with her child's school project depicting the 44th Baby llama mamma's Obama diorama drama! of the United States?

Baby llama mamma's Obama diorama drama!

Thanks for texting this to me, John.

The South African justice system really is something else.

I wouldn't be surprised if Reeva Steenkamp's parents end up having to pay for a new bathroom door.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the south africans jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working south africans piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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