Source Jokes
128 source jokes and hilarious source puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about source that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you a coder looking for something fun to lighten up your day at work? Check out our article on Source Jokes! We dive into the fun world of source codes, open sources, and primary sources and curate an amusing list of jokes based on these topics. We provide examples of well-cited jokes as well as incomprehensible jokes that only a leaker can relate to. Come laugh with us and don't forget to write a few of your own!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Source Short Jokes
Short source jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The source humour may include short origin jokes also.
- Dude 1: Hey, bro? Dude 2: Yeah bro?
Dude 1: Can you pass me that pamphlet?
Dude 2: Brochure
- My grandpa warned people the titanic would sink and no one listened. He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.
- "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry... Because I always back up my rage with facts and well documented sources" -The Credible Hulk
- Did you guys hear about the kid getting arrested for bringing a clock to school? Sources say that the teachers were alarmed.
- Men call short women "petite". What do women call short men? Um, yeh, they don't call.
Source: I'm not a tall man. - Donald Trump has done so much good for American education. Now instead of citing my sources on an English paper, I can just write down, "I know it, you know it, everybody knows it."
- New fast and the Furious movie should be called... 'Fast 10: Your Seat belts' Source: Wife's Facebook... made me chuckle.
- Aladdin Banned from Flying carpet Racing Sources say for use of Performance Enhancing Rugs
- I think I figured out the source of the beef between Kyle Rittenhouse and LeBron James. Kyle has LeBron sorely outclassed in both shooting and defense.
- What's worse than your wife cheating on you with your brother? Your wife cheating on you with her brother.
Source: am from Alabama.
Share These Source Jokes With Friends
Source One Liners
Which source one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with source? I can suggest the ones about destination and supply.
- What do you call an Chinese family with a pet dog? Vegetarians.
Source: I'm Chinese. - Two antennas got married. The reception was great.
Source: Unsure, saw it on FB. - What do you get when you buy a $5 umbrella? Wet.
Source: me, now. - What do you call a crowd-sourced internet database for turntables? Wiki-Wiki-Wikipedia
- Which Science-Fiction author is the best source of liquid mercury? HG Wells.
- What do you call a moving nun? A Roman Catholic
- Are you fond of alternative sources for cooling technologies? I'm a huge fan.
- Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they're dead.
Source: my 10yr old - How does Big Shaq compile his software? From raw source.
- What's a good source of Vietnamese renewable energy? A Nguyen mill.
- Did you hear they're making a Source Code 2? It's gonna be called Source Code: The sql!
- Are you a hydroelectric source of power? ...cause dam!
- 6 inches is the size prefered by women, Source: I work at Subway.
- A man walked past three sources of water. He said... Well, well, well
- I've decided to start listing the sources of my eggs. It's very eggs-citing.
Open Source Jokes
Here is a list of funny open source jokes and even better open source puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've been considering opening a soup restaurant. I'd serve the finest soups from around the world using only the most illegally-sourced ingredients. I'll call it... Bisquey Business
- According to Wikipedia, the open-source online encyclopedia, India is the world's largest producer of spices. But then again, you should always take stats from the internet with a pinch of salt.
- I broke my can opener.... .... I guess it was a can't opener.
Source: happened when I tried to open a can of soup this morning. - Why did the open source code project owner cross the road? To git to the other side.
- Why was the Windows team kicked out of the open source convention? No one was wearing a tux.
- A man in the south of France today was surprised when he opened a tin of locally sourced duck when it started dancing His canned Cannes canard can can-can!
- K-Pop artist PSY decided to open-source his 2012 viral hit... It's now known as Open Gangnam Style
- What do you call an open source Adobe Flash? Adobe Flesh
Source Code Jokes
Here is a list of funny source code jokes and even better source code puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- You know it's love when you let her commit to your source tree without reviewing her code.
- I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
- I wanted to change the world But then somebody password protected the source code
- What do you call an AI that evolves enough to edit its own source code? Humans.
- I hate different kinds of problems in this world and I would love to change the world , but they won't give me the source code.
Ridiculous Source Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about source you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean target jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make source pranks.
Please settle an argument regarding this joke: why is it funny?
>What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
>30 pounds.
This joke has been the source of debate among my peers. I know I'm right, but I need evidence/validation. Why is this joke funny? What is the punch line implying?
----
What do we call a wireless mouse?
Hamster.
Source: **Dad**
Jesus knows you're here
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shines his flashlight around the house looking for valuables when a voice in the dark says "Jesus knows you're here." Freaked out, he turns his flashlight off and freezes, but hears nothing more so shakes his head and continues. As he is disconnecting cables from the TV, he hears very clearly "Jesus is watching you." Startled, he shines his light around frantically looking for the source of the voice. In the corner of the room he spots a Parrot. "Did you say that?" he asks. "Yes," the parrot confessed, "I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you." The burglar laughs a bit, "warn me huh? Who in the world are you!" "Moses." The bird replies. With a now humorous tone, the burglar asks "What kind of person would name a bird Moses?" The bird replies "the same kind of people who would name a rottweiler Jesus."
Scientists recently discovered the source of the quark...
It's the sound made by a posh duck.
So the church is losing money...
...and the friars decide that they need a new income source. To do this, they set up a flower stand, and do a pretty good business selling flowers in the small village. Unfortunately, there is another floral store that is losing business because of the friars. So, they go talk to the friars, telling them to stop selling flowers, because they are losing money. The friars say "no way man, free country, free enterprise."
The owners of the other floral shop decide to get real about these religious flower sellers, so they hire a hitman to go take them out. The hitman, named Hugh, shows up to the friars' store. Hugh, now, he's about 7'1', and 240 pounds of pure muscle. "Hey," he says, "you guys ought to stop sellin flowers." The petrified friars agree that maybe the floral business isn't such a good idea after all, and promptly shut it down.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
The day after Beethoven's f**...
The day after Beethoven's f**..., at midnight, a drunken man, having just left the bar, went into the graveyard, where he heard a strange sound. Looking for the source of the mysterious sound, he discovered it was coming from Beethoven's grave. Alarmed, he called his friends, and found they could hear the sound too (even the sober ones).
Soon, a crowd was forming at the graveyard. The mayor, who was very familiar with classical music, recognized the sound as Beethoven's 9th Symphony played backwards. When it ended, Beethoven's 8th Symphony started playing, also backwards, and then the 7th, and then the 6th, and so forth. At dawn, having reached a conclusion, the mayor said to the gathering crowd:
"There's nothing to fear, gentlemen. He's just decomposing."
I booked an hotel in kenya on walking distance from the beach...
You can't imagine how far those kenyans will walk.
[source: philip geubels, Belgian comedian]
Q: What do you call a trucker wearing a suit and tie?
A: the defendant
Source: I'm a trucker. (reformed)
For the young and/or foreign:
Defendant - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defendant
In a criminal trial, a defendant is any person accused (charged) of committing an offence (a crime), an act defined as punishable under criminal law.
Recently divorced Marine s**... slapped with a 1500 yard restraining order.
He is now struggling to understand the distance that has become between them, as well as windage.
So, A Man Breaks Into a House...
He begins looking for valuables and such when he hears a voice.
"Jesus is watching you."
The man looks around for the source of the voice. It speaks again.
"Jesus is watching you."
After a few moments, the man finds a parrot in a cage.
"Jesus is watching you." It says.
The man smirked. "Hey there, little guy. What's your name?"
"Moses."
"What kind of people name their parrot Moses?"
"The same kind of people who name their rottweiler Jesus."
Why do Jehovah's Witnesses use Macs?
They prefer to not have windows.
[For those that don't get it, their churches, called "Kingdom Halls", frequently are built without windows. The official reason given is to avoid vandalism but the real reason is usually secrecy. Generally if the group builds a church it won't have windows. Source: my ex-wife was a former member]
Schrödinger is in a car...
...and gets pulled over by a cop for speeding. The cop, after writing a ticket, notices a peculiar smell and asks to check for the source. After looking under the car, glancing over at the backseat and popping the trunk, he rushes over.
Cop: "Sir! Did you know you have a dead cat in your trunk?"
Schrödinger: "I do now"
Why do chickens sit on eggs?
Because they don't have any chairs.
Source: my five-year-old.
How many Germans does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?
**One.**
**Germans are very efficient and not very funny.**
*Source: My co-worker.*
*I'm German and I approve this message.*
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a drug addict?
A refrigerator starts in a box and moves into a house.
(This is not mine, but I don't know the source. Either way, I thought it should be shared.)
Today I was offered s**...
I was offered s**... today, with a 21 year old girl, in exchange I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available scented lemon or vanilla.
- Source - facebook though it was funny so I though I'd share.
A programmers wife tells him...
"Run to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."
He returns with 12 loaves of bread.
@SciencePorn tweeted this, I saw it there, don't know the original source.
A cucumber made a deal with the devil.
He is quite in a pickle now.
Source: Stole it.
Is the k**... a good source of Potassium?
Yes, because they're all bananas.
Q: You're sailing on a boat with a pack of cigarettes, but do not have a fire source, what do?
A: Throw one overboard to make the boat a cigarette lighter.
Why are frogs happy?
Because they eat what bugs them..
Source: 3rd grader told me this joke..
What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?
How will I ever find another performer of your caliber?
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it's two g**....
source: someone told me this joke, it's not my joke.
Two scientists are trying to find the best source of energy.
They realise that no one has tried asking the energy sources what *they* think.
So they go to a coal-fired power station, and they ask the coal, "What do you think of coal power?"
The coal says, "Well, I don't really like it, because they set me on fire, and it hurts." The scientists write this down.
Then they go to an oil-fired power station. They ask the oil, "What do you think of oil power?"
The oil says, "Well, I don't really like it, because they set me on fire, and it hurts." The scientists nod and write it down.
Then they go to a wind farm. They ask a wind turbine, "What do you think of wind power?"
The wind turbine just stands there and says, "I'm a huge fan."
I met a French gentleman in the bathroom. How do I know he was French, do you ask?
He went oui, oui.
Source: my 13 year old brother.
Captain Ahab is like G.W. Bush
They're both violent men that have a revenge fantasy against a cheap source of oil.
Did y'all hear the one about the tortilla song?
Don't have source, but now that I think about it, it may have been a rap
When I was younger, I used to feel like I was a man trapped in a woman's body
Then I was born.
(Source: sickipedia)
why would you be a s**... bomber...
And wait for the 72 virgins in heaven... When you could become a catholic preist and have them now!
Source: Jimmy Carr
If I could bring three items to a desert island I would bring a trapping guide, a water purifier, and a car door.
With the trapping guide I could lay snares so I wouldn't go hungry, with the purifier I could have a source of clean water so I wouldn't get thirsty, and with the car door I could roll the window down so I wouldn't get hot.
A new source of electricity is found!
Lincoln is is infinitely rolling in his grave right now.
We can use that somehow.
You know what they say about citing a source with more than 2 authors..
It's not hard et al.
If I were black...
I'd stand in front of a tanning salon and laugh at all the customers.
Source: Neal Brennan
Was driving down the street when I saw someone getting jumped by 3 guys. I quickly pulled over and ran towards the scene.
I got there and the 4 of us messed him up good.
Source: 75 year old Mexican father-in-law
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a feminist...
I would have 77 cents
Source: Male
What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common?
Put either one in your mouth, light it on fire, and it will kill you.
Source: Friend told me
Ranchers in Colorado are conducting a crucial experiment on the environmental sustainability of using h**... as a feed source for cattle.
The steaks have never been higher.
A Saudi king let me juice up my phone with his portable power source.
I was charged with a Sultan battery.
Neo n**... are like cats...
If they like you, you're probably feeding them
Source: last week tonight
A Bee on a Fly
(Disclaimer) this is a repost from something I saw a long time ago, so if someone could get a source that'd be very cool
A bee is riding on the back of a fly. The fly turns around, and asks, hey, are you a bee?
In which the bee replies, I might bee.
The fly then says, dude, that's the worst pun I have ever heard.
The bee responds, I know man, I made it up on the fly.
The beard or me. You must choose.
A guy decides to grow a beard and his girlfriend hates it. She finally tells him: it's time to choose me or the beard.
He says: "What? Choose between the love of my life and a source of irritation that needs constant attention and tending? That's an easy decision....The hard question is who gets the apartment?"
Did you hear the joke about the construction?
...hold on I'm still working on it.
Stolen from a friend, who when asked his source, simply replied: a 5 year old whispered it to me
Joke from a 1920s Australian Newspaper
**Diplomacy**
Uncle to nephew playing a game of War with a companion: "If you take the fortress within a quarter of an hour, I'll give you a sixpence."
Youngster (a minute later): "Uncle, sixpence please, the fortress is taken."
Uncle: "How did you manage it so quickly?"
Youngster: "I offered the besieged threepence and he gave in."
Source: The Narracoote Herald, Friday 13, February 1920
I saw a pig, a cow, and a horse.
I told my wife, Those look like some of your relatives.
She replied, Yeah, my in-laws!
The most German joke I know (source: am German): Why are there so few crimes in Germany?
Because its i**....
Why is the most difficult phrase to pronounce if you have a lisp?
I love you
Source: my father has a lisp
Sometime in the Middle Ages
Queen: come to bed
King: not until i have a name for my soldiers
Queen: k night
King: babe ur a genius
(Source: @fro_vo on Twitter)
This guy died after drinking a whole bottle of furniture polish,
A sad end but a beautiful finish.
(richard dawson: source)
Why did the conjoined twins travel from America to England?
So the other one could finally drive.
——————-
(Source: heard it in _Man on the Moon_ movie)
Did you hear about the kidnapping down the road?
His mother woke him up for lunch.
Source (Told to me 30 yrs ago by an old farmer on my paper route.)
2 guys are on a boat with 3 cigarettes and no fire source to lit them
So they throw 1 cigarette out the boat and the boat comes a cigarette lighter
English is weird. Sometimes the letter 'c' is pronounced like 's', but other times not.
Source: course
A nervous man walks into the bar
He goes to the counter and starts eating the nuts. Suddenly he hears a voice say you're handsome coming from the countertop, he looks around to find the source of the voice, but is unable to do so.
He continues eating the nuts when the voice once again says you have nice hair.
The man realises that the voice was coming from the nuts. He asks the bartender what's up with these nuts?
The bartender replies: oh those? They're complementary!
I just heard a huge oil company is planning on using insect u**... as a source for an alternative fuel.
I think its BP.
Something stinks on my flight
I can't find it. I know I'm not the only one. Everybody around me has scrunched up faces. Someone hit the flight attendant button. The flight attendant notices quickly as well, and begins searching for the source. She starts ripping open the overhead storage bins, smelling each one cautiously. With a wretch, she grabs one case from above, yanks it to the ground and opens it to find a dead rabbit. The owner immediately jumps up and tells, "Hey, that's my carrion!"
Q: What is a large mammal that lives in swamps and shouts obscenities at passers by?
A: The hippopottymouth
Source: friend's kid
Do you know why you can't starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
Source: I'm a dad.
Some might say america is a dumpster fire right now
But that's not true because a dumpster fire can actually give a homeless person a source of heat
I finally got out of an abusive relationship
I'm glad, my hands were starting to hurt!
^(Source: SrGrafo stream musings)
Marriage is a lot like PLASTIC BAGS…
They help hold a lot of trash together.
Source: my brother during a round of joke boat on jackbox party pack 6
Do you know why women and children are always evacuated first in any emergency situation?
So that all the men can think and come up with a solution in peace and quiet.
Source: my dad (to me on International Women's Day)
I was born in very sorry circumstances....
Both of my parents were very sorry.
\-Joke by Norman Wisdom (Source IMDB)-
Driving home, a man sees a car stuck in a ditch
Driving home, a man sees a car stuck in a ditch.
As he approaches a beautiful brunette steps out.
Man: "Wow! Your the second pregnant woman I've pulled out of this ditch today!"
Woman: "I'm not pregnant!"
Man: "Well you're not out of the ditch yet either!"
Source: overheard on my wife's phone while she was browsing some app and it made me chuckle
Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?
Because his doctor said stakes were bad for his heart.
source: My 7 year-old.
I heard Microsoft tried to change the file path separator in Windows
but it received tons of backslash from the community.
--
Source: Aaron Peterson, Twitter.
