Sour Jokes

101 sour jokes and hilarious sour puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sour that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Enjoy a light-hearted chuckle with these hilarious sour jokes! From a whiskey sour to a sourpuss, you can laugh your way through a punny collection of acidic humor. Enjoy the sweet and sour musing of a sour patch kid or maybe take a bite out of some sour grapes. These jokes will have you laughing until you turn into a sour strawberry.

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Funniest Sour Short Jokes

Short sour jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sour humour may include short bitter jokes also.

  1. I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69 She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice
  2. If I have three bags of sour skittles and a child steals one bag of my sour skittles. What will I have at the end of the day? Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.
  3. I'm in a band. We do covers of Stone Sour, Stone Temple Pilots, and The Rolling Stones. We're a rock band.
  4. What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange? One is wrinkly, sour, and orange. The other gets picked by Mexicans.
  5. I fell in love with a cucumber farmer. We had many good years together but then, as these things do, it turned sour.
    Long story short: I'm in a bit of a pickle.
  6. Laws -Have you heard of Murphy's law?
    -Yes, anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
    -What about Cole's Law?
    -No, what is it?
    -Thinly sliced cabbage drizzled with mayonnaise and sour cream
  7. -Have you heard of Murphy's Law \-Yes, anything can go wrong will go wrong
    \-What's about Cole's law?
    \-It's a thin-slice cabbage dripped in mayonnaise and sour cream
  8. Heard that the government is putting chips in people I call dibs on Cheddar and Sour Cream
  9. two groan worthy jokes I made up over breakfast 1.Q. What do you get when you cross a Triceratops and a lemon?
    A. A Dino-sour
    2.Q. Were do robots go to worship?
    A. Mech-a
  10. A Ham Sandwich Walks Into A Bar Walks over to the bartender and asks for a whiskey sour, bartender says "sorry, we dont serve food here"

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Sour One Liners

Which sour one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sour? I can suggest the ones about salty and acidic.

  1. What do you call a sour black guy? A vinegar
  2. Supreme Court Is just regular court with sour cream and tomatoes.
  3. What is Homer Simpsons favorite bread? Sour-Doh!
  4. What is China's favorite cat? Sweet and sour
  5. How do you make a Whiskey Sour? Crush it's hopes and dreams.
  6. Why do Germans not laugh at jokes? They are a sour crowd.
  7. I tried making dessert, but I only had sour milk. It was quite off pudding.
  8. TIL my ex uses lemon juice for her complexion... No wonder she always looks sour
  9. My Chinese neighbor just had two puppies He named them Sweet and Sour
  10. I heard the government is going to put chips in our brain. I want sour cream and onion.
  11. I'm just a basic Jew... ...but if things go sour, I might become Hasidic.
  12. Sour patch kids remind me of my mom. She was sour, sweet, then gone.
  13. What do you call it when you eat a lemon at sunset? The Golden Sour.
  14. Why is it called sour cream? Because sweet cream only comes from female cows.
  15. What do you call a Jewish person with a sour stomach? Acidic Jew

Sweet And Sour Jokes

Here is a list of funny sweet and sour jokes and even better sweet and sour puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If genres were flavors SCI-FI would be sour, Fantasy would be sweet, Horror would be bitter, Mystery would be umami... And Erotica would be salty.
  • I like my women like my Chinese food Sweet, sour, and cheap
  • what do you call an angry lemon Sweet n sour.
  • women come in the same basic taste sensations or flavors as foods- sweet, salty, sour, hot, bitter, and nuts.
  • Off to the Chinese takeaway tonight and I'm going to try the sweet and sour badger with special fried badger cubs. It's a sett meal for one.
  • I wanna make SourPatch condoms a thing, but I don't think it'd turn out to well. Mostly because of their slogan "sour, sweet, gone".
  • How are Ebenezer Scrooge and Sour Patch Kids alike? Sour. Sweet. Gone.
  • Nice guys... First they're sweet, then they're sour.
  • Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar d**...? Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.
  • Mrs. Piggy Q. Why does Mrs. Piggy d**... with honey? A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork.

Sweet Sour Jokes

Here is a list of funny sweet sour jokes and even better sweet sour puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why does Miss Piggy d**... with sugar and vinegar? Because Kermit the frog likes to eat sweet and sour pork.
Sour joke, Why does Miss Piggy d**... with sugar and vinegar?

Sour Cream Jokes

Here is a list of funny sour cream jokes and even better sour cream puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My waiter asked, "would you like sour cream, bacon and chives on your potato?" "That's a loaded question."
  • whats the difference between Court and Supreme Court? Supreme Court comes with sour cream and guac.
  • What did the sour cream say after a long day of work? "Another day, another dollop"
  • I dont get the appeal of sour cream... It's just cream that's sour.
  • Ladies call me sour cream Cause I got the sourest cream in all the land.
  • What do I get when u heat up sour cream? Just cream, it's not sour.
    -told me to by a friend. AP
  • Why is Mexico's flag green, white, and red? Guacamole, sour cream, and salsa.
  • A b**... is eating an ice cream He has a sour look on his face. 'I wish I'd reach the stick already' he mumbles to himself.

Whiskey Sour Jokes

Here is a list of funny whiskey sour jokes and even better whiskey sour puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does a cynical Irishman drink? Whiskey sour
Sour joke, What does a cynical Irishman drink?

Heartwarming Sour Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about sour you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sore jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sour pranks.

Woman and her Cat

What did the woman do when a lemon tree fell her cat?
Nothing, she just stood there with a sour p**...

What do you call an angry German?

A sour k**....

What do you call a surly German?

A sour k**...

Chinese anniversary

A Chinese couple is celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary. The husband says, "Since this is such a special night for us, I'll make love to you however you'd like." The wife replies, "Oh, all my friends tell me they love 69! Let's do 69 tonight!" The husband says, "You want to make love with sweet & sour pork??"

What do you call a German with a bad attitude?

A sour k**....

Why do emo's always act so sour?

Because you can't spell Lemon without emo.

Sources are saying Geno Smith threw the first punch

but it landed a few yards short and was returned for a touchdown.

Why was h**... such a mean person?

Because he was a sour k**....

Why do Buddhist monks have such sour faces?

Because they're acetic.

Sources say Amazon to invest in maternity wards in hopes of expanding their delivery services.

This girl with a yeast infection walks into a bar

She sits down to order a drink and the bartender walks over and says " what's with the sour p**...? "

What happens to Germans when they eat too many lemons?

They become sour k**....

What do you call an ill-tempered German?

A sour k**....

What is the sourest type of fish?

The Vine*GAR*.

A new source of electricity is found!

Lincoln is is infinitely rolling in his grave right now.
We can use that somehow.

How do you make sourdough bread not sour?

You use dill dough...
Terrible joke, but it was hilarious because my AP physics teacher told the class this joke years ago. He said "Want to hear a joke that doesn't make sense, but it's still funny?"

My last two girlfriends were unhygienec and made me very unhappy.

I guess you could say they left a sour taste in my mouth.

h**...'s last meal was a Reuben sandwich.

Having lost the war, his world crumbling to pieces around him, the beaten man felt like a little sour k**....

What do you call a grumpy German?

A sour k**....

Oxygen and potassium went on a date... went ok.
Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
The other chemicals were like 'omg'!
Two noble gases went on a date.
There was no reaction.
Two protons went on a date.
There was no attraction.
Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.
They felt a little sour after it.
Hydrogen and nitrogen went on a date.
They had a basic night out.
Sodium and chlorine went on a date.
There was assault.
Potassium and water went on a date.
It was lit.

I hate sour candy that has to be coated twice before consumed

It's so retarted.

Love is sweet and sour.

Love is a funny thing. One minute you're thinking "Wow, so this is what true love feels like", and the next minute the you're banned for "eating Chick Fil A sauce provocatively".

What do you call a German in a bad mood?

A sour k**...

What is a cat's favorite drink?

A whisker sour.

Why are some jews sour?

Because they're Hasidic

What is a German group called when they can´t get into the club?

Sour k**....

Ps: I am a German myself.

New cuisines

I went to a Chinese/ German fusion buffet today for lunch. I had the Szechuan Schnitzel with sweet and sour k**.... It was pretty good. My only complaint is that an hour later I was hungry...

2 morticians are standing by the coffee machine

"Man, you wont believe what I experienced today. I had a woman with a c**... like a pickle" says one of them.
"What?!" says the other one "That big?!"
"No," says the man "That sour"

Last time I took a girl out and tried to kiss her she threw her cocktail in my face.

I wouldn't have been so sour about the evening if the drinks hadn't been on me.

What do you get when you have a cat that eats a lemon?

A sour p**...

Putin and Medvedev go to a high class restaurant.

Putin says to the waiter "For the meat I want a rib-eye steak, medium rare. The potatos are to be baked with sour cream".
The waiter asks "what about the vegetable?"
Putin looks at Medvedev and back to the waiter and says, "He'll have the same"


Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. Jill says, I will have the petite filet medium rare with a baked potato with sour cream and butter. The waiter asks, What about your vegetable? Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same.

The Bidens went out to a restaurant.

The waiter serving them asked Jill Biden for her order first.
"To start, I'll have the french onion soup. Then the prime rib, medium-rare, with a baked potato, with butter and sour cream."
"Excellent, Doctor. What about the vegetable?"
"Oh, he'll have the same thing."
(Yes, it's an oldie...)

A n**... man walked into a bar

He was carrying a pair of jumper cables draped around his neck. The man went up to the bartender and asked "Can I get a whiskey sour?"
"OK," said the bartender- "but don't start anything!"

Sour joke, A n**... man walked into a bar

jokes about sour