Soup Jokes
135 soup jokes and hilarious soup puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about soup that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From pea soup puns to jokes about chicken soup, get ready to laugh out loud with these hilarious soup jokes. Perfect for any occasion, these jokes will make your waiter crack up when you order your favorite bowl of chowder, miso, gazpacho, tomato or alphabet soup.
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Funniest Soup Short Jokes
Short soup jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The soup humour may include short soap jokes also.
- When I was little, my dad used to feed me alphabet soup, claiming that I loved it I didn't really; he was just putting words in my mouth.
- I hate to admit it, but my wife's cooking has seriously improved. ......that was best slice of soup I've ever had!
- Two cannibals were eating and the first one says: Your sister makes a delicious soup. The second one says: True, but now I miss her
- I can't lift a ton of chicken soup but I can lift a ton of pho. Because a pho ton is light.
- I was eating soup one day outside my favorite restaurant and it started raining.. Took me hours to finish my meal.
- Just got this in a text from my dad. "I've just combined laxative and alaphabet soup... I call it letter rip!"
- I'm sorry, I won't be buying ingredients for soup anytime soon The stock market is terrible
- I ate an expired can of alphabet soup... Now I have severe cramps in my vowels and I've been in-consonant all day
- What do cannibals put in their soup? Ramen!
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Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching. - I ate too much alphabet soup and became consonated. I was better after I evacuated my vowels.
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Soup One Liners
Which soup one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with soup? I can suggest the ones about lettuce and pong.
- You've heard of alphabet soup. Now get ready for Times new ramen
- "When I eat alphabet soup, I only eat..." the vowels."
Friend: "Why?"
Me: "Sometimes." - I ordered 2000 lbs. of chinese soup. It was Won Ton.
- "Waiter, my soup is cold!" "It's gazpacho" "Gazpacho, my soup is cold!"
- How do you make gold soup ? Put 24 carrots in it
- I ate five cans of alphabet soup..... I had the biggest vowel movement of my life.
- What's the heaviest soup in Asia? Wonton soup!
- Life is like a soup Life is like a soup, you only get blown if you're hot.
- I just sneezed while eating alphabet soup... ...took the words right out of my mouth.
- I just ate four cans of alphabet soup... ...and just had the largest vowel movement ever.
- What do you get when you mix alphabet soup and laxatives? Letter rip!
- What do racist cannibals like to add to their soup? A handful of crackers.
- I saw my buddy dressed as a bowl of soup... I didn't know if he was friend or pho.
- Me: Waiter, My soup is cold Waiter: It's Borscht
Me: Borscht, My soup is cold - Don't leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended. It could spell disaster.
Alphabet Soup Jokes
Here is a list of funny alphabet soup jokes and even better alphabet soup puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- ISIS has reportedly starting putting bombs in cans of alphabet soup If any go off, it could spell disaster
- How do you know you've eaten too much alphabet soup? You have a vowel movement
- If someone feeds you alphabet soup... Is that putting words in your mouth? Also, if they are about to feed you and pull back, is that taking the words out of your mouth?
- I finally found out what font they use for alphabet soup... Times New Ramen.
- Blondes shouldn't eat alphabet soup Because they always choke on the D
- Alphabet soup Good for your vowels.
- What do you call a pride pool party? Alphabet soup
- What do you call Chinese alphabet soup? Times New Ramen.
- My Mom Tried To Force Feed Me Alphabet Soup, Saying I Loved It I Hate It When People Put Words In My Mouth
- The waiter hands me a bowl of alphabet soup "Compliments of the chef"
The soup reads "you're beautiful"
Noodle Soup Jokes
Here is a list of funny noodle soup jokes and even better noodle soup puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Don't eat royal sausage in vietnamese noodle soup Trust me, it's the Pho King Wurst
- How do you end a prayer to the noodle God? Ramen.
- What do you call the greatest royalty of Vietnamese noodle soup? The best PhoKing you'll ever know
- What do you call the fear of Vietnamese soup noodles? pho-bia
- What do you call it when the chicken overpowers the noodles? Soup d'etat.
- What do you call imitation Vietnamese noodle soup? Faux.
- Those powdered soups. They include noodles.
Depends how far in you are. - What does a person with broken English, who fixes himself Vietnamese beef noodle soup when he is sick, say? Pho cure self.
- What do you call a really big bowl of regular noodle soup at a Phở restaurant? Fee fi faux phở.
- What do Ebola patients eat, Abola chicken noodle soup! Made this one up myself and I'm pretty proud of it.
Chicken Soup Jokes
Here is a list of funny chicken soup jokes and even better chicken soup puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the chicken love Campbell's Soup? Because his family had stock in the company.
- Elon Musk has announced a new recipe for chicken soup First you boil the chicken in water and then you dump the stock.
- How do you take care of an adult chicken with a broken leg? You make them chicken soup.
- Why did the "Chicken Soup Waterfall" attraction fail? Its stock was plummeting.
- My mom made chicken soup with rice in it... I told her, "I don't want chicken soup with Ricin!"
- Mushroom soup I asked my mate what kind of soup he had in his flask.
He started clucking.
"Chicken?" I said.
"No," he replied, " Mushroom...but I can't make a noise like a mushroom." - What's a vampire's favorite kind of soup? Chicken Anne Rice
- What's the most popular soup in China? Chicken poodle soup...I know, I know booooo
- Did you hear about the guy suffering from athlete's foot? He's been reading a lot of chicken soup for the sole.
- Wife: "I've made the chicken soup" "Thank god for that. I thought we had to eat it!"
Soup Cans Jokes
Here is a list of funny soup cans jokes and even better soup cans puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the sociopathic cannibal parachutist say? As soon as the people carrying soup cans in the backpacks arrive we can eat.
- What do Kevin Spacey and Campbell's Soup have in common? They both come in little cans.
- Cops be like... I can shoot Pepsi cans, Soup cans, and African Ameri-Cans
- What happens when you eat 4 jumbo cans of vegetable soup? You have a massive vowel movement.
- Waiter: would you like some cans, sir? Food buyer: No, but can I get a bowl a soup?
Read out loud.
Tomato Soup Jokes
Here is a list of funny tomato soup jokes and even better tomato soup puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I like my women like I like my soup. Tomato.
- I tried singing for my supper today. Looks like I'm having rotten tomato soup tonight.
Cheeky Soup Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about soup you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean toast jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make soup pranks.
A geologist, physicist and an economist are marooned on a desert island with nothing to eat.
A can of soup washes ashore. They ponder how to open it. The geologist says, 'Let's smash it open with a rock.' The physicist says, 'Let's heat it up and blow it open.' The economist says, 'No, no. You guys will lose most of the soup. Let's just assume we have a can opener.'
A man and his wife are in a restaurant.
The wife spills soup all over her new dress.
"Ah", the wife cries out, "I look like a pig."
"Yes", the husband replies, "and there's soup all over your dress too."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old man is running through the halls of an old-folks home wearing a cape
and yelling "Super s**...! Super s**...!"
An old lady pokes her head out of her room and says,
"I'll have the soup."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So an old couple was getting ready for bed...
...when the old lady throws off her robe, revealing the skimpy negligee that she was wearing, jumps on her husband and yells "SUPER s**...!".
The man takes one look at his wife and says, "Well if you don't mind, I would like the soup."
Duck in my soup.
Me: Waiter, there's a duck in my soup...
Waiter: That's a pond, you're at a park, I'm just here with my family, will you put some pants on?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man has his 98th birthday
A man has his 98th birthday. They wheel in a giant cake, and a s**... 21-year-old blonde jumps out.
She whispers to him "I can give you some super s**...."
So the old man replies, "Well then, I'll have the soup."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm your Birthday Present
It was Jim's 75th Birthday, his friends decided to give him a h**... for his Birthday.
The h**... went to his house and knocks on the door. Jim answers, she says "Hi I'm your birthday present!"
A little startled, he asks "What am I supposed to do with you?"
"I'm yours for supersex" she answers.
Jim replies "Well, I'm 75 years old, so I'll just have the soup."
The guest said to the cannibal
Your wife makes a great soup.
Yes, but I'll miss her.
Taste the soup
A guy eating in a restaurant calls the waiter.
-Please taste the soup.
The confused waiter asks:
-Is the soup too hot?
-Just taste the soup...
-Is the soup too cold?
-Taste the soup.
-Is there a fly in the soup?
-Taste the soup!
The waiter, tired of guessing, gives up.
-Alright, alright, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?
-Aha!
Why does Peyton Manning eat his soup in cups?
Because he's always losing the bowls.
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^This ^used ^to ^be ^an ^Elway ^joke
A woman is at a café orders the soup de jour, which happens to be alphabet soup that day. But when it arrives it just has ordinary noodles...
She says to the waiter, "Hey, I thought this was supposed to be alphabet soup."
The waiter replies, "It's in *cursive* ma'am."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What kind of soup do men have after s**...?
Split pee
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a group of disabled people in a pool?
Vegetable soup.
I apologise to those offended by my terrible joke. Have another;
Whats the hardest part of cooking a vegetable?
Getting the wheelchair into the oven
What do you get for opening the BEST Vietnamese soup joint in London?
A great big pho queue.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two jungle explorers got captured by cannibals...
Now they find themselves in a giant cauldron full of water over an open fire. The water is getting warmer and warmer and both of them realize they're done for. So they're sitting there not sure what to do when one of them lets out a chuckle. "how could you laugh at a time like this?" says the other one, "we're both about to die!".
"I know...but I just peed in their soup."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bert, the oldest guy at the company was retiring...
At his retirement party, as a surprise, a large cake was rolled out, and a s**..., scantly clad woman jumped out! The woman called him over and whispered, "Hey there s**..., you want some super s**... tonight?"
"Well", said Bert, "that depends, what sort of soup?"
What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?
"Well, this was a waste of Thyme."
Life is a soup
And i am a fork
Does the five-second rule apply to soup? Please hurry.
A rabbit walks into a men's clothing store...
And the clerk says,"May I help you, sir?"
"Yes", says the rabbit. "I'd like a BLT with some coleslaw please."
"I'm sorry sir", says the clerk," but we don't have that here."
"Oh, ok.", says the slightly deflated rabbit. "I guess I'll have a house salad."
"Sir," replies the slightly annoyed clerk," we don't have that. Is there something else I can help you with?"
"Well," says the rabbit," in that case I'll just have a bowl of tomato soup."
The clerk is now incensed. "Sir, we don't have food! The sign outside clearly says 'men's clothing store'! Can't you read?"
"Listen, buddy", says the rabbit,"if I could read, I would have asked you for a menu!"
Dad, are bugs good to eat..?
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone."
The cannibal
A cannibal was handed the funurary urn of a relative: What is this, instant soup?
What's worse than finding a fly in you soup?
Getting hit by a bus
I ordered 1000 kg of Chinese soup
It was won ton.
My friend stirs soup with his left hand.
But I stir soup with a spoon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a s**... soup kitchen?
A brothel
A little boy asked his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?"
"That's not appropriate dinner table conversation, son," said his dad. "We can talk about that later."
After dinner the man said, "Now, son, what were you trying to ask me before?"
"Oh, nothing," said the boy. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone."
Heard of the Fibonacci soup?
Apparently , the ingredients are :
Yesterday's soup and day before yesterday's soup.
Price : $1.61
A problem at the restaurant
Waiter!" shouted the furious diner. "How dare you serve me this! There's a TWIG in my soup!"
"My apologies," said the waiter. "I'll inform the branch manager."
A man lines up for food in Soviet Russia...
After two hours of waiting he gets his turn and offers his bowl.
Out of soup. says the officer in charge and waves him aside.
The man refuses to leave. He tosses the bowl on the table and curses the regime for failing his starving family.
The officer motions to the guards and they wrestle the ranting man away. As they shove him outside, one says to the man:
Back then we could've shot you in the snow, comrade.
The man goes back home to his wife. She sees him looking glum as he walks in and asks:
Ran out of soup again?
Even worse, he replied. They ran out of bullets.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
an irish girl confesses shes a p**... to her father
at first he gets s**... angry starts yelling at her, how could she betray him, calls her all kinds of names including soup taker. She looks confused at this and asks her father to accompany her to confession. Her dad stares at her for a moment and then he hugs her, crying tears of relief. The he says, "I thought you said you were a protestant!"
I ordered rabbit stew but had to return it.
There was a hare in my soup
Old German joke
An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, The soup is cold."
His astonished mother exclaimed, Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?"
The boy looked at her and replied, Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."
Why should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man soup in a plate?
Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.
I was chopping up some leftover dumplings from my soup at a Chinese restaurant when suddenly it hit me...
I was engaging in acts of wonton destruction.
Where can you buy soup in bulk?
The stock market.
I tried to translate a joke
General ordered soldier to catch a rabbit and make a soup while he is taking a nap. When he woke up he see a bowl of soup on table. Amused General asked soldier how did you catch rabbit in that short time?
Soldier replied I saw a rabbit running around and shot it immediately, it didn't even have a chance to meow
I had to wait in line for a bowl of Vietnamese soup
That's it, no joke. Don't like it? Pho queue.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For his birthday, an old man's nephews secretly hire a call girl for him.
When he answers the door she's standing there in a slinky black dress. She says, I'm here to give you super s**....
After thinking for a minute the old man replies, I guess I'll have the soup.
What is the cannibal King's favorite joke during diner ?
"There's a heir in my soup !"
I'm sick of this sub
I should have gone with the soup.
I went to an outdoor restaurant last night
Total disaster. Poured with rain. Took me 2 hours to finish my soup.
Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul.
Even if it's cold. Over ice. With a celery stalk. And v**...
What is the difference between mash potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
An American visits a Restaurant in Spain
When his order arrives he becomes furious...
"Waiter!!! Why is my soup so cold??"
"Sir, it's Gazpacho"
"Ok Gazpacho why is my soup so cold?"
I don't want to go to school
"Dad, I don't want to go to school
today." said the boy.
"Why not, son?"
\-"Well, one of the chickens on the
school farm died last week and we had
chicken soup for lunch the next day.
Then three days ago one of the pigs
died and we had roast pork the
next day"
"But why don't you want
to go today"
"Because our English
teacher died yesterday!"
When Love Fades......
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's lovely voice from the kitchen.
"What would you like for dinner, my Love. . . Chicken, beef or lamb?"
I said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
She replied "You're having soup, a\*\*hole. I was talking to the cat."
The Florida man accused of stealing a truck full of $75,000 with of Campbell's soup is finally going to trial...
I, for one, hope they lock him up for M'm! M'm! Good!!!
My teacher told me to tuck my shirt in.
I said, "Why?"
"Because it *looks* like you've just had s**...," he said, zipping his trouser.
what brand soup makes you snore when you sleep?
Its knorr
the joke is originally in persian but i think it works in english too
kid:"hey mom are you adding carrots to that soup?"
mom:"yeah, i know you dont like carrots but dont worry, you wont taste the carrot at all"
kid:"then why do you add carrots?"
mom:"because it makes it tastier"
