Soup Jokes
142 soup jokes and hilarious soup puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about soup that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From pea soup puns to jokes about chicken soup, get ready to laugh out loud with these hilarious soup jokes. Perfect for any occasion, these jokes will make your waiter crack up when you order your favorite bowl of chowder, miso, gazpacho, tomato or alphabet soup.
Quick Jump To
- Short Soup Jokes
- Soup One Liners
- Alphabet Soup Jokes
- Noodle Soup Jokes
- Chicken Soup Jokes
- Soup Cans Jokes
- Tomato Soup Jokes
- More Soup Jokes
Funniest Soup Short Jokes
Short soup jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The soup humour may include short soap jokes also.
- When I was little, my dad used to feed me alphabet soup, claiming that I loved it I didn't really; he was just putting words in my mouth.
- I hate to admit it, but my wife's cooking has seriously improved. ......that was best slice of soup I've ever had!
- Two cannibals were eating and the first one says: Your sister makes a delicious soup. The second one says: True, but now I miss her
- I can't lift a ton of chicken soup but I can lift a ton of pho. Because a pho ton is light.
- I was eating soup one day outside my favorite restaurant and it started raining.. Took me hours to finish my meal.
- My mum used to feed me alphabet soup when I was a kid She insisted on me telling everyone that I loved it.
I didn't really, she was just putting words in my mouth - Just got this in a text from my dad. "I've just combined laxative and alaphabet soup... I call it letter rip!"
- I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then, I easily had the biggest vowel movement ever.
- What do racist cannibals like to add to their soup? A handful of crackers.
- I saw my buddy dressed as a bowl of soup... I didn't know if he was friend or pho.
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Soup One Liners
Which soup one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with soup? I can suggest the ones about lettuce and pong.
- You've heard of alphabet soup. Now get ready for Times new ramen
- "When I eat alphabet soup, I only eat..." the vowels."
Friend: "Why?"
Me: "Sometimes." - I ordered 2000 lbs. of chinese soup. It was Won Ton.
- "Waiter, my soup is cold!" "It's gazpacho" "Gazpacho, my soup is cold!"
- How do you make gold soup ? Put 24 carrots in it
- I ate five cans of alphabet soup..... I had the biggest vowel movement of my life.
- What's the heaviest soup in Asia? Wonton soup!
- Life is like a soup Life is like a soup, you only get blown if you're hot.
- I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup. After that I had a massive vowel movement.
- I ate four cans of alphabet soup I later took the biggest vowel movement ever
- I just sneezed while eating alphabet soup... ...took the words right out of my mouth.
- So I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup today.. I'm expecting a massive vowel movement.
- You all heard of alphabet soup! Prepare yourself for... Times New Ramen
- I just ate four cans of alphabet soup... ...and just had the largest vowel movement ever.
- What do you get when you mix alphabet soup and laxatives? Letter rip!
Alphabet Soup Jokes
Here is a list of funny alphabet soup jokes and even better alphabet soup puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I ate an expired can of alphabet soup... Now I have severe cramps in my vowels and I've been in-consonant all day
- What font does alphabet soup use? Times New Ramen.
*Credit for this goes to Kim Komando. I heard it on the radio earlier today.* - I ate four bowls of Alphabet Soup... Then I had a massive vowel movement
- Don't leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended. It could spell disaster.
- I ate too much alphabet soup and became consonated. I was better after I evacuated my vowels.
- The font for alphabet soup Is times new ramen.
- I had four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. I just had the largest vowel movement...
I'll see myself out. - ISIS has reportedly starting putting bombs in cans of alphabet soup If any go off, it could spell disaster
- I just ate 4 cans of alphabet soup. I'm going to have the best vowel movement.
- I made a concoction with half part laxatives and 4 parts alphabet soup... I call it Letter Rip.
Noodle Soup Jokes
Here is a list of funny noodle soup jokes and even better noodle soup puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Don't eat royal sausage in vietnamese noodle soup Trust me, it's the Pho King Wurst
- How do you end a prayer to the noodle God? Ramen.
- What do you call the greatest royalty of Vietnamese noodle soup? The best PhoKing you'll ever know
- What do you call the fear of Vietnamese soup noodles? pho-bia
- What do you call it when the chicken overpowers the noodles? Soup d'etat.
- Vietnamese waiters are rude I went to a busy Vietnamese noodle soup restaurant.
The waiter asked me to join the line.
I ask him "whaat... ?"
He pointed to the line and told me "pho queue" - What do you call imitation Vietnamese noodle soup? Faux.
- Those powdered soups. They include noodles.
Depends how far in you are. - There's a group dedicated to hating Vietnamese Noodle Soup They call themselves AntiPho.
- What does a person with broken English, who fixes himself Vietnamese beef noodle soup when he is sick, say? Pho cure self.
Chicken Soup Jokes
Here is a list of funny chicken soup jokes and even better chicken soup puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the chicken love Campbell's Soup? Because his family had stock in the company.
- Elon Musk has announced a new recipe for chicken soup First you boil the chicken in water and then you dump the stock.
- Where can you get the sexiest soup? At a chicken brothel.
- How do you take care of an adult chicken with a broken leg? You make them chicken soup.
- Why did the "Chicken Soup Waterfall" attraction fail? Its stock was plummeting.
- My mom made chicken soup with rice in it... I told her, "I don't want chicken soup with Ricin!"
- Mushroom soup I asked my mate what kind of soup he had in his flask.
He started clucking.
"Chicken?" I said.
"No," he replied, " Mushroom...but I can't make a noise like a mushroom." - What's a vampire's favorite kind of soup? Chicken Anne Rice
- What's the most popular soup in China? Chicken poodle soup...I know, I know booooo
- Did you hear about the guy suffering from athlete's foot? He's been reading a lot of chicken soup for the sole.
Soup Cans Jokes
Here is a list of funny soup cans jokes and even better soup cans puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup and just took probably the biggest vowel movement ever.
- I ate three cans of alphabet soup for dinner... I had a really good vowel movement the next day.
- After eating four cans of alphabet soup I had a huge vowel movement.
Ba-dum
tss - What did the sociopathic cannibal parachutist say? As soon as the people carrying soup cans in the backpacks arrive we can eat.
- What do Kevin Spacey and Campbell's Soup have in common? They both come in little cans.
- Cops be like... I can shoot Pepsi cans, Soup cans, and African Ameri-Cans
- What happens when you eat 4 jumbo cans of vegetable soup? You have a massive vowel movement.
- Waiter: would you like some cans, sir? Food buyer: No, but can I get a bowl a soup?
Read out loud. - I lived off p**... noodles and canned soup for two years. Now I miss that level of luxury.
Tomato Soup Jokes
Here is a list of funny tomato soup jokes and even better tomato soup puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I like my women like I like my soup. Tomato.
- I tried singing for my supper today. Looks like I'm having rotten tomato soup tonight.
- Hey Mom, I hate tomato soup... Mom: Shut up, you only have it once a month!
- There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul. Even if it's cold. Over ice. With a celery stalk. And v**...
- Did you hear about the guy that makes red m**... using tomato soup? They call him Heinzenberg.
Cheeky Soup Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about soup you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean toast jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make soup pranks.
how do you make gold soup?
put 14 carrots in it.
I'll show myself out.
How many beans are in Irish bean soup?
Two-thirty-nine. One more and it'd be too f**....
So an old couple was getting ready for bed...
...when the old lady throws off her robe, revealing the skimpy negligee that she was wearing, jumps on her husband and yells "SUPER s**...!".
The man takes one look at his wife and says, "Well if you don't mind, I would like the soup."
One of my buddies turned 90, so for a birthday surprise I sent a h**... to his apartment. When he opened the door, she introduced herself and informed him that she was there to give him super s**.... His response...
I'll take the soup.
The guest said to the cannibal
Your wife makes a great soup.
Yes, but I'll miss her.
Taste the soup
A guy eating in a restaurant calls the waiter.
-Please taste the soup.
The confused waiter asks:
-Is the soup too hot?
-Just taste the soup...
-Is the soup too cold?
-Taste the soup.
-Is there a fly in the soup?
-Taste the soup!
The waiter, tired of guessing, gives up.
-Alright, alright, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?
-Aha!
What kind of soup do men have after s**...?
Split pee
A man ordered the soup at a restaurant and asked the waiter to try it...
Man: waiter, will you try the soup?
Waiter: What's wrong Sir, is it too cold?
Man: Will you just try the soup.
Waiter: Is it too hot?
Man: Will you just try the soup
Waiter: Is it too spicy, Sir?
Man: Will you just try the d**... soup son
Waiter: If there is something wrong with the soup...
Man: WILL YOU JUST TRY THE SOUP!
Waiter: FINE! I'll try the soup. Where's the spoon.
Man: Exactly.
Why did the Irishman put 239 beans in the soup p**...?
Because any more would be too f**....
Why is Irish bean soup made with 239 beans?
Because if you add even one more it gets "2 f**...".
Two jungle explorers got captured by cannibals...
Now they find themselves in a giant cauldron full of water over an open fire. The water is getting warmer and warmer and both of them realize they're done for. So they're sitting there not sure what to do when one of them lets out a chuckle. "how could you laugh at a time like this?" says the other one, "we're both about to die!".
"I know...but I just peed in their soup."
Why does Irish bean soup have exactly 239 beans in it?
(Irish accent) Because one more and it would be too f**....
Bert, the oldest guy at the company was retiring...
At his retirement party, as a surprise, a large cake was rolled out, and a s**..., scantly clad woman jumped out! The woman called him over and whispered, "Hey there s**..., you want some super s**... tonight?"
"Well", said Bert, "that depends, what sort of soup?"
What do cannibals put in their soup?
Ramen!
--------
Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching.
WAITER: "Yes, is there something wrong?"
WAITER: "Yes, sir, is there something wrong?"
CUSTOMER: "The soup. Taste it."
WAITER: "I beg your pardon, Sir?"
CUSTOMER: "Taste it."
WAITER: "But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent."
CUSTOMER: "Taste it."
WAITER: "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients."
CUSTOMER: "Taste it!"
WAITER: exasperated, "All right, Sir, I'll taste it."
Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"
CUSTOMER: "Ah ha!!"
A rabbit walks into a men's clothing store...
And the clerk says,"May I help you, sir?"
"Yes", says the rabbit. "I'd like a BLT with some coleslaw please."
"I'm sorry sir", says the clerk," but we don't have that here."
"Oh, ok.", says the slightly deflated rabbit. "I guess I'll have a house salad."
"Sir," replies the slightly annoyed clerk," we don't have that. Is there something else I can help you with?"
"Well," says the rabbit," in that case I'll just have a bowl of tomato soup."
The clerk is now incensed. "Sir, we don't have food! The sign outside clearly says 'men's clothing store'! Can't you read?"
"Listen, buddy", says the rabbit,"if I could read, I would have asked you for a menu!"
Dad, are bugs good to eat..?
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone."
The cannibal
A cannibal was handed the funurary urn of a relative: What is this, instant soup?
What's worse than finding a fly in you soup?
Getting hit by a bus
I ordered 1000 kg of Chinese soup
It was won ton.
A little boy asked his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?"
"That's not appropriate dinner table conversation, son," said his dad. "We can talk about that later."
After dinner the man said, "Now, son, what were you trying to ask me before?"
"Oh, nothing," said the boy. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone."
Life is like a bowl of soup.
You only get blown if you are hot.
Guy at a restaurant orders a soup
Some random guy orders a soup in the restaurant and the waiter brings him the soup. Right after the waiter leaves the table the guy calls him back and says "Try the soup" the waiter asks "What's the matter, is it too salty?" guy says "Go ahead and taste it" and the waiter asks "Is it too spicy?" and the guy says "Just freakin' try it!" and the waiter asks "Where's the spoon?" and the guy answers "Exactly"
A man lines up for food in Soviet Russia...
After two hours of waiting he gets his turn and offers his bowl.
Out of soup. says the officer in charge and waves him aside.
The man refuses to leave. He tosses the bowl on the table and curses the regime for failing his starving family.
The officer motions to the guards and they wrestle the ranting man away. As they shove him outside, one says to the man:
Back then we could've shot you in the snow, comrade.
The man goes back home to his wife. She sees him looking glum as he walks in and asks:
Ran out of soup again?
Even worse, he replied. They ran out of bullets.
What's 2000lbs of Chinese soup called?
Won-ton
Ate 3 bowls of alphabet soup earlier...
Just took the biggest vowel movement.
Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?
Because one more and they would get too f**...
Old German joke
An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, The soup is cold."
His astonished mother exclaimed, Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?"
The boy looked at her and replied, Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."
I had to wait in line for a bowl of Vietnamese soup
That's it, no joke. Don't like it? Pho queue.
For his birthday, an old man's nephews secretly hire a call girl for him.
When he answers the door she's standing there in a slinky black dress. She says, I'm here to give you super s**....
After thinking for a minute the old man replies, I guess I'll have the soup.
I'm sick of this sub
I should have gone with the soup.
I went to an outdoor restaurant last night
Total disaster. Poured with rain. Took me 2 hours to finish my soup.
How many beans does it take to make Irish bean soup?
239. Because one more would make it too f**...
A Girl walks into a Supermarket...
...she picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay.
The cashier looks at her, and the items she has and says,
"I can tell you're single."
She smiles and responds,
"How do you know that?"
He says,
"Because you're ugly."
Me: Waiter! My soup is cold!
Waiter: Sir, it's gazpacho
Me: sigh….Fine. Gazpacho, my soup is cold.
A German couple has a baby...
For 4 years he makes no sound, does not speak. Then one day the mother gives him soup, he says This soup is cold. The parents are amazed and ask If you can talk, why have you not spoken before? The child replies Up to now everything has been satisfactory!
Me: Waiter, My soup is cold
Waiter: It's Borscht
Me: Borscht, My soup is cold
When Love Fades......
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's lovely voice from the kitchen.
"What would you like for dinner, my Love. . . Chicken, beef or lamb?"
I said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
She replied "You're having soup, a\*\*hole. I was talking to the cat."
I'm sorry, I won't be buying ingredients for soup anytime soon
The stock market is terrible
I have to admit, my wife's cooking has really improved.
That's the best slice of soup I've ever had.
I went to a restaurant and a waiter spilled chowder down my trousers, so I said...
Waiter, waiter...there's soup in my fly!
A man goes into a restaurant.
He sits down, he's havin' a bowl of soup. He says to the waiter, 'Waiter, come taste the soup.'
Waiter says, 'Is there something wrong with the soup?'
He says, 'Taste the soup.'
Waiter says, 'Is there something wrong with the soup? Is the soup too hot?'
The man says, 'Will you taste the soup?'
'What's wrong? Is the soup too cold?'
'Will you just taste the soup?'
'All right, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?'
'Ah-ha!'"
the joke is originally in persian but i think it works in english too
kid:"hey mom are you adding carrots to that soup?"
mom:"yeah, i know you dont like carrots but dont worry, you wont taste the carrot at all"
kid:"then why do you add carrots?"
mom:"because it makes it tastier"
Dad, are bugs good to eat? asked the boy. Let's not talk about such things at the dinner table, son, his father replied. After dinner the father inquired, Now, son, what did you want to ask me?
Oh, nothing, the boy said. There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone.
