soup Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious soup puns

You've heard of alphabet soup. Now get ready for

Times new ramen


A man ordered the soup at a restaurant and asked the waiter to try it...

Man: Waiter, will you try the soup?

Waiter: What's wrong Sir, is it too cold?

Man: Will you just try the soup.

Waiter: Is it too hot?

Man: Will you just try the soup

Waiter: Is it too spicy, Sir?

Man: Will you just try the damned soup son

Waiter: If there is something wrong with the soup...


Waiter: FINE! I'll try the soup. Where's the spoon.

Man: Exactly.


Taste the soup

A guy eating in a restaurant calls the waiter.
-Please taste the soup.

The confused waiter asks:
-Is the soup too hot?
-Just taste the soup...

-Is the soup too cold?
-Taste the soup.

-Is there a fly in the soup?
-Taste the soup!

The waiter, tired of guessing, gives up.
-Alright, alright, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?


When I was little, my dad used to feed me alphabet soup, claiming that I loved it

I didn't really; he was just putting words in my mouth.


I hate to admit it, but my wife's cooking has seriously improved.

......that was best slice of soup I've ever had!


I ordered 2000 lbs. of chinese soup.

It was Won Ton.


Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?

Because one more and they would get too farty


How do you make gold soup ?

Put 24 carrots in it


I was eating soup one day outside my favorite restaurant and it started raining..

Took me hours to finish my meal.


I ate five cans of alphabet soup.....

I had the biggest vowel movement of my life.


What's the heaviest soup in Asia?

Wonton soup!


Where's the spoon?

A man is sitting in a restaurant and calls the waiter over.

Man: Try the soup.

Waiter: What is wrong with the soup? Is it too salty?

Man: Just try the soup.

Waiter: Is the soup too hot?

Man: Just try the soup!

Waiter: Is the soup too cold?


Waiter: Fine. Where's the spoon?

Man: That's the problem.


Life is like a soup

Life is like a soup, you only get blown if you're hot.


What kind of soup do men have after sex?

Split pee


I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup.

After that I had a massive vowel movement.


Dad, are bugs good to eat..?

A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone."


I just sneezed while eating alphabet soup...

...took the words right out of my mouth.


What's the difference between a pretty girl and a bowl of soup?

One is so hot that you blow on it before you stick your dick in, and the other is a person and shouldn't be seen as a mere sexual object.


So I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup today..

I'm expecting a massive vowel movement.


Why does Irish bean soup have exactly 239 beans in it?

(Irish accent) Because one more and it would be too farty.


You all heard of alphabet soup! Prepare yourself for...

Times New Ramen


I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday.

Then, I easily had the biggest vowel movement ever.


Why did the Irishman put 239 beans in the soup pot?

Because any more would be too farty.


I just ate four cans of alphabet soup...

...and just had the largest vowel movement ever.


WAITER: "Yes, is there something wrong?"

WAITER: "Yes, sir, is there something wrong?"

CUSTOMER: "The soup. Taste it."

WAITER: "I beg your pardon, Sir?"

CUSTOMER: "Taste it."

WAITER: "But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent."

CUSTOMER: "Taste it."

WAITER: "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients."

CUSTOMER: "Taste it!"

WAITER: exasperated, "All right, Sir, I'll taste it."

Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"

CUSTOMER: "Ah ha!!"


For an old man's 98th birthday,

his 3 grandsons paid for a hooker and sent her to his home. When the old fella opened the door he asked what a pretty girl like her was doing at his home. She replied "I was sent here as a gift to you" The old man asked "What is it that you do?" Hooker says "Im well known for my super blowjobs" Grampa says "Since I aint had a hard on in 10 yrs, I guess I'll have to settle for the soup"


A little boy asked his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?"

"That's not appropriate dinner table conversation, son," said his dad. "We can talk about that later."

After dinner the man said, "Now, son, what were you trying to ask me before?"

"Oh, nothing," said the boy. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone."


What do racist cannibals like to add to their soup?

A handful of crackers.


I saw my buddy dressed as a bowl of soup...

I didn't know if he was friend or pho.


how do you make gold soup?

put 14 carrots in it.

I'll show myself out.


So an old couple was getting ready for bed...

...when the old lady throws off her robe, revealing the skimpy negligee that she was wearing, jumps on her husband and yells "SUPER SEX!".

The man takes one look at his wife and says, "Well if you don't mind, I would like the soup."


I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday.

Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever!


Honey, let's get naked!

This eighty year old couple were celebrating their 60th anniversary and the wife says to her husband, "Honey lets get stark naked and sit at the dining table and eat our dinner!"

As they sat at the dining table the wife says, "Honey I am beginning to get very hot and very aroused!"

The husband says, "That is because you have your breasts in the soup!"


An old lady wants to spice up her sex life......

so she buys red leather boots, a blue spandex jumpsuit and a cape. That night she runs into her bedroom and yells to her husband " SUPER PUSSY!". The husband says "Ill take the soup"


Two jungle explorers got captured by cannibals...

Now they find themselves in a giant cauldron full of water over an open fire. The water is getting warmer and warmer and both of them realize they're done for. So they're sitting there not sure what to do when one of them lets out a chuckle. "how could you laugh at a time like this?" says the other one, "we're both about to die!".

"I know...but I just peed in their soup."


What are the most funny Soup jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Soup? Well, here are the best Soup dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Soup pick up lines to share with friends.

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