The Best 70 Sound Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sound jokes. There are some sound cacao jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sound sound of music puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sound Jokes and Puns

What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?

Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.

{air horn sound}

{second air horn sound}

Me: this isn't deodorant

I have a Russian friend who's a sound technician

And a Czech one too.
A Czech one too.

Sound joke, I have a Russian friend who's a sound technician

A five year old told me this joke.. [NSFW]

Was at a cafe when this little kid walks up to me:

"What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator?"

"I dunno"

"....... When you pull your meat out of the refrigerator it doesn't make a *pffffffffft* sound."

I wish life was more like hockey...

Who doesn't want a horn to sound when their period ends?


This will blow your mind!

If you take the pin out of a grenade and put your ear to the hole you can hear the faint sound of the world wide I.Q average increasing.

What does a German snake sound like?

ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß....

Sound joke, What does a German snake sound like?

My mum tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she'd just ironed.

It may sound far-fetched but it's true. I watched it all unfold.

What sound does a Turkey make?

"coup coup"

So I woke up this morning to my dishwasher making a weird sound..

Turns out she was just vacuuming.

Sometimes, to impress girls, I use big words that I don't fully understand...

...in an effort to sound more photosynthesis.

You can explore sound ding reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sound boeing dad jokes. There are also sound puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


It's a good thing Harambe got shot....

Dicks out for dead kids just doesn't sound good

My girlfriend accused me of cheating

I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian,

Then soviet.

I'm so proud of my son

I asked him what the sound of one hand clapping is. He said "dunno" and walked off to his room, but I can hear him trying to figure it out.

A man notices a TV for sale.

"Hey, how much is this TV?"

The salesman replies "1 dollar."

"Only a dollar? Why so cheap?"

The salesman tells him "the sound is stuck on the highest volume."

"So it's always on the highest volume? And it's only one dollar?"

"Yup."

"Wow, can't turn that down."

Sound joke, A man notices a TV for sale.

What sound does a bouncing plane make?

Boeing boeing boeing

TIL "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound.

At least, I'm pretty sure...

FP

What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?

boeing boeing boeing


If light travels faster than sound.

Then why do I always hear a honk before the light turn green?

A tree falls on a woman. Does it make a sound?

Idk. The better question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

If light travels faster than the speed of sound...

how come I can hear the guy in the BMW behind me honk before the light turns green?

My girlfriend "Dad joked" me on a hike.

I asked my girlfriend what she thought trees would sound like if they talked while on a hike.
She said "I bet we couldn't understand them"
I said "why do you think that?"
She said "because they probably only bark"
She then laughed the next half mile down the trail barking occasionally and saying "shh, shh, do you hear that? Thats a tree talking in the distance"

There's this new cryptocurrency called Decibel. You just yell in your microphone to get money...

It's a sound investment.

My mate asked me why I have sex noises saved on my phone.

I said, It's for sound effects during sex.

He asked, Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?

I replied, No, I work in a morgue.

Light travels faster than sound!

That's why some people appear bright until they talk.

[NSFW] "You don't sound so well today", a woman told her business partner.

"I have a sore throat", the partner responded.
"I have the best cure", the first said. "Each time I have a sore throat I blow my husband and immediately feel better."
The next day the partner walks into work with a smile on her face.
"Did you do what I suggested?", the first asked.
"Yes, and thanks for the tip", the second said.
"Your husband couldn't believe it was your idea!"

What sound does an airplane make when it bounces off the ground?

Boeing.

What sounds like a mouse, but much, much louder?

#**A MOUSE**

Which STD is transmitted through sound?

Hearing aids

Three boys are hanging around a farm trying to get a glimpse of the farmer's daughter showering.

The farmer notices them and he grabs his shotgun. They run and hide in the barn, each in one sack. The farmer arrives at the barn, and notices the 3 sacks.

He kicks one. From the sack, a sound comes out: Meow!

"Must be a cat." He moves on.

Kicks the second sack: Woof! Woof!!

"Must be a dog." He moves on.

He kicks the third sack: The sack says: "Potatoes!"

A policeman said he wanted to search my car.

"You won't find any drugs," I told him.

He said, "You don't sound sure about that."

I said, "Trust me, I looked earlier."

My girlfriend keeps insisting that I'm cheating on her.

She's starting to sound like my wife.

I was once taught that nothing rhymes with silver...

But to this day, I still don't think they sound the same.

Did you know that light travels faster than sound?

That's why some people look bright until they start talking.

I ran my car into a pole late last night

The worst part was the awful sound it made, but I don't speak polish so I just kept driving

When do S and C sound the same?

When it's necessary.

Woman goes to a doctor with a tampon lodged inside her...

Doctor: So how did this happen?

Woman: I don't know, I mean I didn't get them from the store as usual, I saw a special deal on eBay, a hundred boxes for $1!

Doctor: A hundred boxes for $1? Didn't that sound suspiciously cheap to you?

Woman: Well I thought that too, so I checked the entire listing and it said plain and clear

One hundred boxes of tampons for $1...

...no strings attached!

A zookeeper wishes to buy some new animals from another wildlife park.

She writes:

Dear sir, We are a recently opened zoo and are looking to purchase 2 mooses. "No that doesn't sound right." She thinks.

We are looking to purchase 2 meese. "No that can't be right either."

Dear sir, I wish to inquire about purchasing a moose. Kind Regards.

P.S. Please send another moose along with the first.

Day 284 without sex...

Went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound

If me having a Russian accent means my B's sound like V's...

Soviet

My wife just yelled...

...from upstairs and asked "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?"

Sound concerned, I replied, "No..."

She responded, "How about now?"

A woman's closet door what making a terrible sounds whenever a bus was crossing the street outside

So she called a carpenter to check it out.

The carpenter comes to see what's the problem but sees nothing. Right then a bus was crossing the street and a loud creaking sound was heard. He couldn't believe it.

So he told her that he'll be waiting inside the closet to see what is making this noise.

After a few minutes the husband comes home, opens the closet and see a man inside.
He looks at his wife with disgust and back at the man and asks: "what the hell are you doing in my closet…?"

The carpenter then said "would you believe me if I told you I am waiting for the bus? "

So, I trained a chicken to talk

WIFE: Well, let's see

ME: What's a male deer?

CHICKEN: Buck

ME: How much is 200 pennies?

CHICKEN: Buck Buck

WIFE: This is stupid. Chickens just make that sound

ME: Oh believe me it gets better

CHICKEN: Yeah, just be patient Susan

My hot flight attendant asked how I like my coffee

Trying to sound cool, I told her I like my coffee like I like my women. And that's when she told me "That's cute honey, but the coffee's free. You don't have to pay for it here!"

A zookeeper lost a pair of mongoose to a storm and needed to replace them. He began writing an email to his supplier...

Dear sir, please send me two mongooses at once.

That didn't sound right, so he tried again.

Dear sir, please send me two mongeese at once.

That still didn't sound right, so he gave it one last attempt:

Dear sir, please send me one mongoose. And while you're at it- send me another mongoose.

(In memory of my dad who told that joke at every family gathering for 30 years.)

I have a Russian friend who's a sound technician ...

I have a Czech one, too.

What is a microwave's beep sound file called?

Micro.wav

It's a good thing Gatorade was developed at the University of Florida as opposed to Florida State

Seminole Fluid doesn't sound quite as good.

Recently a new supermarket opened nearby

It has an automatic water mist generator to keep the produce fresh.

Just before it starts the mist, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk section, you hear cows mooing and you get the scent of freshly cut hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg counter, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more…

If you say AT&T backwards

You sound like a Canadian Bomb Technician.

A few weeks ago I ordered a box to store my money and a set of speakers online.

They arrived today, safe and sound.

For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle?

Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his balls red.

What's the loudest sound in the jungle?

Giraffes eating cherries!

(Apologies if you've heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I'll get better material)

The last thing my grandfather told me was It's worth spending money on good speakers.

That was some sound advice.

If a tree falls.....

A tree falls in the forest but doesn't make a sound.

Hunter in camouflage gear: "WHAT THE HECK???!"

Tree: "I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!"

The other day I visited the thrift shop and picked up an old record album called 'Sound of Wasps'.

When I got home and played it I realised it didn't sound anything like wasps!

Turns out I'd been playing the Bee side.

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a restaurant, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."

Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"

"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"

That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"

"And who will you be, Arnold?"

"I'll be Bach."

My mom pointed at a guy across from our house...

...and said, "Stay away from him, he takes drugs."

That's sound advice, I thought to myself. I don't want him taking mine.

I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer ...

... and a Czech one too.

I'm using vibration and oscillation in specific frequencies to impart information

It might seem far-fetched, but the idea is sound.

A German couple has a baby...

For 4 years he makes no sound, does not speak. Then one day the mother gives him soup, he says This soup is cold. The parents are amazed and ask If you can talk, why have you not spoken before? The child replies Up to now everything has been satisfactory!

I told my girlfriend I think she's cheating on me.

She told me I sound just like her husband.

My grandfather told me to never spend money on expensive headphones.

That was some sound advice.

What sound does a cow make when it runs out of milk?

None. There is udder silence.

There's a TV show on later that will teach you how to make your guitar sound better.

Stay tuned.

A guy named Bob dies and goes to hell

Before him stands the Devil.

"Hello, Bob. Welcome to Hell" the Devil says. "Now there are seven levels of hell and since your only sin was cheating on a science test in third grade, you'll be moved to level 1"

"Okay, that doesn't sound so bad" Says Bob

"Level 1 is the hottest level because heat rises. You would know that if you studied for your science test, Bob"

I snuck up on my roommate and had a horn sound on my phone ready to play, and I turned the volume way up.

I pressed play, only to find that I had forgotten to remove my headphones.

What sound do Yoda's sheep make?

Dey go baa!

Mommy and Daddy rabbit were enjoying a splendid afternoon in the woods.

Suddenly, the sound of hunting dogs shattered their idyllic time together. They ran for their lives. The dogs were relentless. Finally the two terrified bunnies took shelter in a hollow log. The dogs had them trapped. The situation seemed hopeless.
Daddy looked at Mommy and said "Well, we'll just have to outnumber them."

A knight was about to ride off into battle.

Afraid that his wife would be unfaithful, he fitted her with a chastity belt. He gave the key to his best friend, telling him that he was the only person he could trust.

The knight rode off, and an hour later he heard the sound of galloping hoofbeats behind him. His friend rode up next to him.

"I'm glad I caught you," said the friend. "You gave me the wrong key."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sound noise jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sound sound engineer piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes