Sound Jokes
157 sound jokes and hilarious sound puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sound that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article highlights the funny side of sounds with a list of the funniest animal, DJ, speed of sound, and fart sound jokes. Find out the meaning behind "tak" and why a chicken's sound is so funny. Enjoy the Sonic and Ding jokes too!
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Funniest Sound Short Jokes
Short sound jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sound humour may include short song jokes also.
- What asian stereo type do you hear the most? Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.
- My laptop was making funny noises today, it sounded like it was singing... Probably because it's a Dell
- Queue sounds like q followed by 4 silent letters, but… They're just waiting their turn.
- It's a good thing Gatorade was developed at the University of Florida as opposed to Florida State Seminole Fluid doesn't sound quite as good.
- TIL "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. At least, I'm pretty sure...
FP - Fun fact: "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. . . At least, I'm pretty sure that's correct.
- If light travels faster than the speed of sound... how come I can hear the guy in the bmw behind me honk before the light turns green?
- If a tree falls..... A tree falls in the forest but doesn't make a sound.
Hunter in camouflage gear: "WHAT THE HECK???!"
Tree: "I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!" - I found a vinyl record called "Sounds of the Wasps." When I played it, I said to myself, "This doesn't sound like wasps." I was right. I was playing the B-side.
- How do you milk a sheep? Sell headphone for $549.
Share These Sound Jokes With Friends
Sound One Liners
Which sound one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sound? I can suggest the ones about audio and sing.
- If you say AT&T backwards You sound like a canadian Bomb Technician.
- {air horn sound} {second air horn sound}
Me: this isn't deodorant - I have a Russian friend who's a sound technician And a Czech one too.
A Czech one too. - What sound does an airplane make when it bounces off the ground? Boeing.
- If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian, Then soviet.
- My girlfriend accused me of cheating I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
- What sound does a Turkey make? "coup coup"
- The US has placed 18th for math… It sounds bad, I'm just glad we hit top ten.
- When do S and C sound the same? When it's necessary.
- What sound does a 747 make when it bounces? boeing boeing boeing
- What does a German snake sound like? ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß....
- Light travels faster than sound! That's why some people appear bright until they talk.
- There's this new cryptocurrency called Decibel. 🚀🔊🌕 It's a sound investment.
- What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot
- What sound does a bouncing plane make? Boeing boeing boeing
Sound Of Music Jokes
Here is a list of funny sound of music jokes and even better sound of music puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was listening to some music with my friend and he told me "you should turn the bass down on your speaker". It was sound advice.
- The thing about good music is.. ...its technically sound.
- Suddenly I hear classical music coming from a grave, sounds like its being played backwards? Oh, that's just Beethoven decomposing .
- No matter what you think of the celebrities commenting on how we handle the current crisis, you should ALWAYS listen to music producers. They give sound advice.
- What genre of music sounds scary to a balloon? Pop music.
- How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard? Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre
- If a tree falls in the woods It won't make a sound because it has been copyright claimed by Warner Music Group.
- Was at a party where the DJ was playing the music too quietly so I asked him to turn it up. Thought it was nice to offer some sound advice.
- What makes a barbershop quartet sound so amazing? They're on the cutting edge of musical innovation.
- Why are the guys at the music shop so trustworthy? They always give you sound advice.
Fart Sound Jokes
Here is a list of funny fart sound jokes and even better fart sound puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I recently learned that humans farts have sounded the same since ancient Egypt. We share a toot in common.
- Where are the best sounding farts listed? Sharts.
- If Anderson Cooper walks in a forest and farts, does it make a sound? Nope he's gay!!
- What sounds flat, but smells sharp? Farts. Now, all you musicians who got this joke; go practice.
- I've never actually seen two women s**... But I bet you it sounds like an arm pit f**... contest
- I f**... in a room full a hipsters... Just to see them fight over who smelt it first.
If a hipster falls, and no one is around, does it make a sound?
Yes...but you've probably never heard it.
- Whenever I'm over at a friends house I pee directly into the water But don't worry, I f**... loudly to mask up the sound
- A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, my farts sound like a motorbike" Doctor says "you have an abscess"
Man says "how do you know?"
Doctor says "because abscess makes the f**... go Honda" - What sound does a rooster's f**... make? p**...-a-doodle-doo
- My f**... sounded like it was telling me a secret. Soft and short and in catoots.
Cat Sound Jokes
Here is a list of funny cat sound jokes and even better cat sound puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the guitarist say to the accordion player? Your instrument sounds like a dying cat, but at least it’s not a banjo.
- What Sound Does a Chinese Cat Make? "Mao."
- How do cats like their steak joke? Rare
P.S.
Rare sounds like a cat meowing. Get it? - What does a non-moving cat and a motorcycle traveling at 80mph have in common? They make the same sound.
- How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Throw it into the fireplace and hear it go WOOOF!
- How do you make a cat sound like a dog? You light on fire.
*woof* - What do we want? Cat sounds!
When do we want them?
*purrrrrr purrrrr* - What's your cat's favorite movie? The Sound of Mewsic
- funny cat with sound
- How do you make a dog sound like a cat? You freeze it, put it on a bandsaw and cut it; "Meoooow".
Sound Check Jokes
Here is a list of funny sound check jokes and even better sound check puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- TIL "Sugar" is the only "su"-word in the english language that makes the "sh"-sound! (I haven't actually fact-checked this one, but I'm pretty sure it's correct)
- Just saw a kid riding a bike Thought it was mine, I checked the garage and it's still there, locked up, safe and sound, begging for food.
- I moan every time a cashier checks an item for me The sound is proportional to the amount. I once bought a house. They heard me three states away
- How do indie musicians do sound check? 1, 2, 1, 2 v**... check
Animal Sound Jokes
Here is a list of funny animal sound jokes and even better animal sound puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does an anime firetruck sound like? owo owo owo owo owo owo owo
- What do the beach boys and animal shelters have in common? Pet sounds
- I love waking up to the sound of birds arguing with their spouses.
- I really like animal puns. I know it sounds weird, but just bear with me.
- Apparently animals make different sounds according to different languages. For example, in Korea a dog makes a sizzling noise
- I think Noah might be the craziest of Biblical figures; hearing God, building an ark, gathering animals The whole thing sounds delugional.
- China banning animal farm sounds ironic
- What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot? One is an Australian animal and the other is the sound of a Scotsman stuck in the bathroom, shouting...
- Which animal dies every time it makes a sound? A Frog.
It Croaks. - Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
Hilarious Sound Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about sound you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sense jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sound pranks.
What does a church shooting sound like?
Pew! Pew!
Technology has ruined our kids
A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make? "
"It goes moo. "
"Alice, what noise does a cat make? "
"It goes meow. "
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make? "
"It goes baaa. "
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make? "
"Errr.., it goes.. click! "
I bought some new speakers today......
I think I made a sound investment.
A teacher in a Chicago kindergarten class asked...
her class what kind of sound a pig makes.
Little Tyrone stood up and yelled: "FREEZE, MUTHAFUCKA!"
Do you know what evil kisses sound like?
Muah hahaha
What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom?
Nothing, the pee is silent
I wish life was more like hockey...
Who doesn't want a horn to sound when their period ends?
This will blow your mind!
If you take the pin out of a grenade and put your ear to the hole you can hear the faint sound of the world wide I.Q average increasing.
My mum tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she'd just ironed.
It may sound far-fetched but it's true. I watched it all unfold.
So I woke up this morning to my dishwasher making a weird sound..
Turns out she was just vacuuming.
Sometimes, to impress girls, I use big words that I don't fully understand...
...in an effort to sound more photosynthesis.
It's a good thing Harambe got shot....
d**... out for dead kids just doesn't sound good
I'm so proud of my son
I asked him what the sound of one hand clapping is. He said "dunno" and walked off to his room, but I can hear him trying to figure it out.
A man notices a TV for sale.
"Hey, how much is this TV?"
The salesman replies "1 dollar."
"Only a dollar? Why so cheap?"
The salesman tells him "the sound is stuck on the highest volume."
"So it's always on the highest volume? And it's only one dollar?"
"Yup."
"Wow, can't turn that down."
I got a call from my brother the other day...
I found out he was diagnosed with an intense fear of wanting to have s**... with other men; Homonymphobia. Which really freaked me out because I have a fear of words that sound the same but mean different things.
What sounds do nuts make when they sneeze?
Cashew
If light travels faster than sound.
Then why do I always hear a honk before the light turn green?
A tree falls on a woman. Does it make a sound?
Idk. The better question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?
My girlfriend "Dad joked" me on a hike.
I asked my girlfriend what she thought trees would sound like if they talked while on a hike.
She said "I bet we couldn't understand them"
I said "why do you think that?"
She said "because they probably only bark"
She then laughed the next half mile down the trail barking occasionally and saying "shh, shh, do you hear that? Thats a tree talking in the distance"
There's this new cryptocurrency called Decibel. You just yell in your microphone to get money...
It's a sound investment.
My mate asked me why I have s**... noises saved on my phone.
I said, It's for sound effects during s**....
He asked, Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?
I replied, No, I work in a morgue.
A baby's laughter can be the most beautiful sound you will ever hear...
Unless it's 3am
And you're home alone
And you don't have a baby...
My wife always gives me sound advice
99% sound, 1% advice
What sounds like a mouse, but much, much louder?
#**A MOUSE**
Which STD is transmitted through sound?
Hearing aids
Three boys are hanging around a farm trying to get a glimpse of the farmer's daughter showering.
The farmer notices them and he grabs his shotgun. They run and hide in the barn, each in one sack. The farmer arrives at the barn, and notices the 3 sacks.
He kicks one. From the sack, a sound comes out: Meow!
"Must be a cat." He moves on.
Kicks the second sack: Woof! Woof!!
"Must be a dog." He moves on.
He kicks the third sack: The sack says: "Potatoes!"
A policeman said he wanted to search my car.
"You won't find any drugs," I told him.
He said, "You don't sound sure about that."
I said, "Trust me, I looked earlier."
What sound does a chocolate gun make?
Cacao!
My girlfriend keeps insisting that I'm cheating on her.
She's starting to sound like my wife.
What sound does a rubber airplane make?
Boeing
I was once taught that nothing rhymes with silver...
But to this day, I still don't think they sound the same.
Did you know that light travels faster than sound?
That's why some people look bright until they start talking.
My friend was showing me his new golf ball.
He tells me, "This ball is amazing, you can't lose it. If it goes in the rough, it makes a beeping sound. It glows in the dark so you can find it when its getting dark. If it goes in the water, it will float and make its way back to the shore."
I said to him, "That's incredible, where did you get it?"
"Found it"
I ran my car into a pole late last night
The worst part was the awful sound it made, but I don't speak polish so I just kept driving
Woman goes to a doctor with a t**... lodged inside her...
Doctor: So how did this happen?
Woman: I don't know, I mean I didn't get them from the store as usual, I saw a special deal on eBay, a hundred boxes for $1!
Doctor: A hundred boxes for $1? Didn't that sound suspiciously cheap to you?
Woman: Well I thought that too, so I checked the entire listing and it said plain and clear
One hundred boxes of tampons for $1...
...no strings attached!
A zookeeper wishes to buy some new animals from another wildlife park.
She writes:
Dear sir, We are a recently opened zoo and are looking to purchase 2 mooses. "No that doesn't sound right." She thinks.
We are looking to purchase 2 meese. "No that can't be right either."
Dear sir, I wish to inquire about purchasing a moose. Kind Regards.
P.S. Please send another moose along with the first.
Day 284 without s**......
Went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound
A man comes home drunk...
As he stumbles in trying to be quiet as possible not to wake up the wife...he's too drunk and knocks over a stool startling wife from sleep...
Wife, from bedroom: Bob, is that you? what was that ?
Bob: Oh nothing honey, just a stool. Be right there...
As he stumbles into the bedroom he falls over creating a loud CRASHHH
Wife: Bob? Are you OK? What was that sound???
Bob: Oh its nothing honey, i was just hanging my shirt and it fell.
Wife: How did your shirt make such a loud sound?
Bob: I was still wearing it
If me having a Russian accent means my B's sound like V's...
Soviet
My wife just yelled...
...from upstairs and asked "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?"
Sound concerned, I replied, "No..."
She responded, "How about now?"
What's the difference between a person falling off 10th floor and 1st floor of a building?
The person falling of the 10th floor would sound like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" *THUD*
The person falling of the 1st floor would sound like *THUD* "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
A woman's closet door what making a terrible sounds whenever a bus was crossing the street outside
So she called a carpenter to check it out.
The carpenter comes to see what's the problem but sees nothing. Right then a bus was crossing the street and a loud creaking sound was heard. He couldn't believe it.
So he told her that he'll be waiting inside the closet to see what is making this noise.
After a few minutes the husband comes home, opens the closet and see a man inside.
He looks at his wife with disgust and back at the man and asks: "what the h**... are you doing in my closet…?"
The carpenter then said "would you believe me if I told you I am waiting for the bus? "
So, I trained a chicken to talk
WIFE: Well, let's see
ME: What's a male deer?
CHICKEN: Buck
ME: How much is 200 pennies?
CHICKEN: Buck Buck
WIFE: This is s**.... Chickens just make that sound
ME: Oh believe me it gets better
CHICKEN: Yeah, just be patient Susan
My hot flight attendant asked how I like my coffee
Trying to sound cool, I told her I like my coffee like I like my women. And that's when she told me "That's cute honey, but the coffee's free. You don't have to pay for it here!"
A zookeeper lost a pair of mongoose to a storm and needed to replace them. He began writing an email to his supplier...
Dear sir, please send me two mongooses at once.
That didn't sound right, so he tried again.
Dear sir, please send me two mongeese at once.
That still didn't sound right, so he gave it one last attempt:
Dear sir, please send me one mongoose. And while you're at it- send me another mongoose.
(In memory of my dad who told that joke at every family gathering for 30 years.)
I have a Russian friend who's a sound technician ...
I have a Czech one, too.
What is a microwave's beep sound file called?
Micro.wav
Recently a new supermarket opened nearby
It has an automatic water mist generator to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it starts the mist, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk section, you hear cows mooing and you get the scent of freshly cut hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg counter, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more…
A few weeks ago I ordered a box to store my money and a set of speakers online.
They arrived today, safe and sound.
For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle?
Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his b**... red.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries!
(Apologies if you've heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I'll get better material)
The last thing my grandfather told me was It's worth spending money on good speakers.
That was some sound advice.
The difference between a man and a woman's friends.
A wife did not come home one night and the next day the husband was furious. She swore she spent the night at a girlfriend's house.
The husband called 10 of his wife's closest friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.
To get her back he did not come home the next night. The next day his wife met him at the door furious at him. He swore he spent the night at his buddy's house.
She called 10 of his closest friends. 8 of them confirmed that he spent the night at their house, two of them swore that he was still there sound asleep.
I got a vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn't sound anything like wasps!
Turns out I was playing the bee side
The other day I visited the thrift shop and picked up an old record album called 'Sound of Wasps'.
When I got home and played it I realised it didn't sound anything like wasps!
Turns out I'd been playing the Bee side.
What sound does a german snake make
ßßßßßßßß
Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a restaurant, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."
Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"
"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"
That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"
"And who will you be, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach."
My mom pointed at a guy across from our house...
...and said, "Stay away from him, he takes drugs."
That's sound advice, I thought to myself. I don't want him taking mine.
I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer ...
... and a Czech one too.
I'm using vibration and oscillation in specific frequencies to impart information
It might seem far-fetched, but the idea is sound.
A German couple has a baby...
For 4 years he makes no sound, does not speak. Then one day the mother gives him soup, he says This soup is cold. The parents are amazed and ask If you can talk, why have you not spoken before? The child replies Up to now everything has been satisfactory!
I told my girlfriend I think she's cheating on me.
She told me I sound just like her husband.
What sound does a cow make when it runs out of milk?
None. There is udder silence.
A guy named Bob dies and goes to h**...
Before him stands the Devil.
"Hello, Bob. Welcome to h**..." the Devil says. "Now there are seven levels of h**... and since your only sin was cheating on a science test in third grade, you'll be moved to level 1"
"Okay, that doesn't sound so bad" Says Bob
"Level 1 is the hottest level because heat rises. You would know that if you studied for your science test, Bob"
Today I brought home a record I found at Goodwill. It was called "Sounds Wasps Make"...
I put it on my record player and thought, "This doesn't sound anything like wasps!" Then I realized I was playing the bee side.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating
She's starting to sound like my wife