Souls Jokes
70 souls jokes and hilarious souls puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about souls that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the hilarious dark side of Souls and the jokes that come out of the spirit world. From possessions to psyches, these jokes and lighthearted tales will have you in stitches. See why Souls is such a unique and loved game genre.
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Funniest Souls Short Jokes
Short souls jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The souls humour may include short no soul jokes also.
- Bill Withers Duck joke How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Leave it in the oven till it's Bill Withers. - Son: Dad why is our food so cold and bland? Dad: It's because your mother put her heart and soul into it.
- What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub?? Well, the woman in church has hope in her soul, but the woman in tub has soap in her hole...
- The police caught a serial killer who targeted gingers. At his trial, he kept insisting he'd never harmed a soul.
- Hillary's mad at Satan Hillary: Satan! We had a deal! Where's the election victory that you promised me?
Satan: Where's the soul that you said you had? - A woman in her Kia did not wear a seatbelt and got into an accident Her body left her Soul.
- What do you call a circle of $100 bills? Aretha Franklins!
(Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!) - A boy asks his father: "Dad, why is the food so cold and bland?" The dad replies: Your mum put her heart and soul into it.
- Death Joke My grandfather knew the exact time of the exact day of the exact year that he would die.
Wow, what an evolved soul! How did it come to him?
The judge told him. - The human soul weighs 1.2lbs... I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work.
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Souls One Liners
Which souls one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with souls? I can suggest the ones about old soul and have no soul.
- Why was the anti-vaxxer's 3 year old crying? They were having a mid-life crisis.
- Did you hear about the goth kid with dyslexia? He sold his soul to Santa.
- I'm never going to find a soul mate. I really only find redheads attractive.
- Jesus wants you to give him your soul Whereas satan is willing to buy it off you.
- Spent an hour by my wife's grave God bless her soul, she thinks I'm digging a koi pond.
- My neighbor traded in his KIA yesterday. Sold his Soul for a Mustang.
- They had a ginger Lives Matter protest today There was not a soul.
- Have you heard about the dyslexic satanist? Sold his soul to Santa.
- Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to santa.
- What has five bodies and one soul? A Kia full of Gingers.
- I hosted a huge event for gingers last week Sadly not a single soul showed up.
- What happened to the dyslexic devil worshiper? He sold his soul to santa
- Did you hear about the shoe factory that was destroyed? They lost 500 souls!
- I use a Ouija board as a chopping board That's how I make my soul food.
- What is the one genre of music that Ed Sheeran can never play? Soul
Gingers Souls Jokes
Here is a list of funny gingers souls jokes and even better gingers souls puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you broach the sensitive religious topic about the possibility a human soul might not actually exist? Gingerly.
- Did you hear about the plane that crashed on the way to the ginger convention? Thankfully there were no souls on board.
- Why do gingers love driving Kias? It's the only way they can own a soul.
- Some say that beer is soda with soul... No wonder ginger ale isn't alcoholic!
- Went to a ginger convention today There wasn't a soul there.
- A redhead had her Kia stolen... ...Now the ginger has no Soul
- A ginger wanted to join the Jazz band... But he didn't have enough soul.
- What type of music can't ginger people listen to? Soul
- Why Did The Ginger Buy a Kia? So he could have a soul.
- They say 1,500 souls died when the Titanic sunk... But there were about a hundred gingers so it's more like 1,400 souls
Dark Souls Jokes
Here is a list of funny dark souls jokes and even better dark souls puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- You know I actually haven't died a single time in ANY of the dark souls games Granted I've never played them
- did you hear about the rpg shoes they had dark souls
- What does a Dark Souls player say when they meet someone? ¿Hola, como Estus?
- North Koreans are huge Dark Souls fans They spend all their time praisin' the son.
- What do you call it when somebody steals a dark souls meme? A Riposte.
- Dear Santa I ask your help to cure my dyslexia by pledging my soul to thee, oh prince of darkness.
- I went to buy Dark Souls III.. It was souled out... ... ...
- What do you call a Dark Souls fan who has stayed up too long and has been too tired to play properly for the past hour? Sleepy Hollow.
- I've recently started to play Dark Souls III It only took me 2 hours to beat the torturial.
- My old Dark Souls "joke". Don't you guys find it funny, how Lord Gwyn both failed and succeded in keeping Priscilla out of the picture?
Cheerful Fun Souls Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about souls you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean minds jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make souls pranks.
Comedian Jeff Dunham has been accused of s**... assault
After allegations from his coworkers saying that he's been f**... them for decades.
Just look up his Youtube channel if you want to see evidence of this a**.... Millions have just sat by and watched while these poor souls suffered through tremendous pain right in-front of them.
An attorney was working late one night in his office when, suddenly, Satan appeared before him.
The Devil made him an offer. I will make it so you win every case that you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will worship you, your colleagues will be in awe, and you will make enormous amounts of money. But, in return, you must give me your soul, your wife's soul, the souls of your children, your parents, grandparents, and those of all the your friends. The lawyer thought about it for a moment, then asked, But what's the catch?
The Lawyer
Satan appears before a lawyer and says, "I will make a deal with you. You will become the most successful attorney who has ever lived. You will be rich beyond imagination, and known to everyone on the planet. You will be appointed to the Supreme Court, and your rulings will be read and studied for decades to come. All I ask in return is the souls of your wife and your three children."
The lawyer sits with his head in his hands, thinking for several minutes. Finally he says, "Okay, what's the catch?"
4 catholic priests are sharing a private compartment on a train
They decided to confess their biggest flaw to each other.
The first priest confesses that he spends most of the church money on booze.
The second priest explains that he blows the church collection betting on horses.
The third priest confesses that he spends the church takings on drugs.
They have opened their souls and revealed their deepest secrets. They look to the last priest and he says "I am a gossip and I can't wait to get off this train".
A Plane Full Of Ugly People Crashes
A plane full of ugly people crashes and everyone on board dies. The peoples' souls then go to heaven, where they are greeted by God at the gate. God tells them that he will grant each person one wish. The first person says, I want to be beautiful . God snapped his fingers and it happened. Then the second person wished for the same thing. This continues as each person in line wishes to be beautiful. God notices the last man in line laughing hysterically. When it came to be the man's turn he laughed and said, I wish all those people were ugly again.
A lawyer is meeting the devil to make a deal
... and says, "Alright, I want to win my next 10 cases in a row, for settlements of no less than $1 million!"
The Devil replies, "Ok mister lawyer, but in return, I demand the souls of your wife and child for 1000 years!"
The lawyer scratches his head and says, "I don't get it, where's the catch?"
From my dad.
A lawyer was working in his office when Satan appeared. "I can make it so you win every case in your career and make huge piles of money. In exchange you will give me your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, your parent's souls, your grandparent's souls and the souls of all your friends!"
The lawyer thought it over for a moment and then asked, "What's the catch?"
Peter Pan and the Lost Boys are actually the souls of aborted kids
That explains Captain Hook
When I was young, I always thought the feet were the first part of a person to go to heaven
First, because they're called the "souls" of your feet. Second, I once walked into my parents' bedroom and saw my dad holding my mom down on the bed. Her feet were in the air and she was screaming "Oh God I'm coming!"
Goth people wear black to reflect the color of their souls...
Except ginger goths. They go n**....
The devil appears before a lawyer and promises to ensure that he wins every case he takes for the rest of his life.
Lawyer says: It's always about a deal right? What's in it for you? Devil says: I want your soul, your wife's, your son's, and the souls of any more children you have in the future. Lawyer pauses, thinks for a moment, and responds: But what's the catch?
If cows say "moo" and ghosts say "boo", what does the ghost of a cow say?
Nothing. Cows don't have souls.
Who collects the souls of people who die while fixing things?
The Grim Repair.
What do necromancers put in their shoes?
Souls
A young boy and his father are looking up at the night sky
The young boy gazes in amazement and then turns to his father.
Dad, where do you think we go when we die?
I believe that when we die our souls join the stars, son.
I've always heard that the afterlife is a gift that not everyone gets.
I'm not sure if it's a gift, but it's definitely a constellation prize.
Satan challenges God to a basketball game, so God puts together a choice team from heaven and goes down to h**....
When they come back to heaven, it's with shocking news: they lost the game 52 to 140!
The v**... Mary is stunned, "How could you possibly lose the game with a team like yours?! Didn't you have the best saints, the most generous souls, the philanthropists and Jesus himself??"
"Yes," fumes God, "it turns out they're all terrible at receiving."
Faithfull
After having died, a couple souls flied to the heaven gate, St.Pierre opened the door and informed that for one time of unfaithfulness to each other in their life they will be prod by a needle.
After being prod 5 times, the wife turned to ST.Poerre and asked:
Where is my husband?
He is lying on the sewing-machine table St.Pierre replied.
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?
Thousands of souls were lost
I just converted to Frisbeeterianism
We believe that when we die our souls go up on the roof
I think my neighbor is a d**.... He bought a bunch of Kia's.
I think he is collecting Souls.
Why aren't gingers allowed in shoe stores?
.... Because they steal all the souls.
Why do ghosts hit people with shoes?
To slap the souls out of them
Chaplain asked us if we know how to save our souls
"Walk on your heels"
A little trip to Heaven
You know, I just came back from the dead. Well, they kicked me out, but that's a different story. The one thing I can tell you about heaven is that there are no windows in any of the houses.
Why, you ask?
Apparently, when Jobs died and went up there, he was put in charge of all advancements. So he replaced all windows with apple products. When asked why it was allowed, I was told that it's because the *i(s) are the windows to the souls*
What can religious people and atheists agree on?
Gingers don't have souls.
