The Best 86 Soul Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Soul jokes. There are some soul devil jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these soul soul patch puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Soul Jokes and Puns
Why was the anti-vaxxer's 3 year old crying?
They were having a mid-life crisis.
The difference between a girl in church and a girl in the bathtub?
one has hope in her soul.
Blonde Thinks
A woman with green hair, a woman with red hair and a woman with blonde hair find mirror. A lady appears in the mirror and says, tell me something you think are true and you'll be rich. Tell me something that is not true and you die. The woman with green hair says: "I think I'm pretty." POOF! She's dead. The woman with red says: "I think I have a soul." POOF! She's dead. The woman with blonde hair says: "I think..." POOF! She's dead.
Spent an hour by my wife's grave
God bless her soul, she thinks I'm digging a koi pond.
How do you make a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the oven at ~~three fifty~~ tree fiddy until it's Bill Withers.
What's the diffrence between a girl in a church and a girl in a bath?
The girl in a church has a soul full of hope and the girl in a bath has, well...
Grandpa
Me: My grandpa knew the exact time, day and year he was going to die!
Teacher: What an evolved soul? How'd he know?
Me: The judge told him.
A Dolphin meets the Buddha...
The Buddha says you may ask me any question young dolphin and I shall answer for you.
The Dolphin thinks about what he should ask and after several minutes of soul searching he ask the Buddha "What is my Porpoise in life?"
I got on the bus, sat down and noticed a beautiful blonde Chinese woman crying in the seat across from me...
I moved over and asked her why she was crying.
"I don't usually bare my soul to strangers," she said.
I replied that sometimes it was perfectly fine to tell your story to a perfect stranger. She nodded and said, "I just came out of my therapist session and he says there is no way to cure me."
I asked what exactly was her problem. She said, "I'm a nymphomaniac, but I only get turned on by Jewish cowboys. You know, I do feel better. By the way, my name is Kim."
"Glad to meet you," I said. "My name is Bucky Goldstein."
-----
Steve Wright
Have you heard about the dyslexic satanist?
Sold his soul to Santa.
Just heard this on the radio. May the censors have mercy on their soul. [NSFW]
On a Sunday school, the teacher asks the class: "Class, what body party goes to heaven first?"
One kid answers, "It's the feet!"
"Why is it the feet?" the confused teacher asks.
The kid replies, "Because last night I found Mommy with her feet in the air screaming 'Oh God yes...heaven...I'm coming!' "
You can explore soul apostle reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean soul torment dad jokes. There are also soul puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Did you hear about the goth kid with dyslexia?
He sold his soul to Santa.
First dirty joke my dad told me, it's about 30 years old and I still tell it.
What's the difference between a lady in church and a lady in a bathtub?
The lady in church has hope in her soul.
My neighbor traded in his KIA yesterday.
Sold his Soul for a Mustang.
Why do gingers love driving Kias?
It's the only way they can own a soul.
What's the difference between a Nun in Church and a Nun in the bath
One has Hope in her Soul the other has Soap in her Hole.
How do you broach the sensitive religious topic about the possibility a human soul might not actually exist?
Gingerly.
What genre can't Ed Sheeran sing ?
Soul
Death Joke
My grandfather knew the exact time of the exact day of the exact year that he would die.
Wow, what an evolved soul! How did it come to him?
The judge told him.
Who did the dyslexic devil worshipper sell his soul to?
Santa
Went to a ginger convention today
There wasn't a soul there.
A ginger wanted to join the Jazz band...
But he didn't have enough soul.
There was a dyslexic devil worshipor.
He sold his soul to santa
What's the difference between a girl that's praying and a girl that's having a bubble bath?
One has hope in her soul,
The other has soap in her hole.
What happened to Casper the friendly ghost after his parents got divorced?
His mom got soul custody.
What do you call a circle of $100 bills?
Aretha Franklins!
(Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)
The human soul weighs 1.2lbs...
I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work.
Once upon a time there was a man.
Today there are many
What has five bodies and one soul?
A Kia full of Gingers.
what's the difference between a girl in a church and a girl in a bathtub?
The girl in church has hope in her soul whilst the girl in the bathtub has...
Hillary Clinton says to the Devil, "What happened? You promised me that I'd win the election?"
The Devil replies, "Yeah, and you promised me a soul."
Hillary's mad at Satan
Hillary: Satan! We had a deal! Where's the election victory that you promised me?
Satan: Where's the soul that you said you had?
What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub??
Well, the woman in church has hope in her soul, but the woman in tub has soap in her hole...
Hear about the Cadillac-worshipping Satanist?
He sold his soul to the Deville.
Some say that beer is soda with soul...
No wonder ginger ale isn't alcoholic!
Bill Withers Duck joke
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Leave it in the oven till it's Bill Withers.
If your soulmate dies before you meet them, do you get a backup soulmate?
"I meant questions about the midterm," my professor replied.
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to santa.
What is the one genre of music that Ed Sheeran can never play?
Soul
Why did the pc player cross the road?
To sell their soul to the devil for a graphics card.
The police caught a serial killer who targeted gingers.
At his trial, he kept insisting he'd never harmed a soul.
What happened to the dyslexic devil worshiper?
He sold his soul to santa
A redhead had her Kia stolen...
...Now the ginger has no Soul
Son: Dad why is our food so cold and bland?
Dad: It's because your mother put her heart and soul into it.
I was depressed, after some soul searching I discovered I sexually indentify as Mistletoe..
I can't wait to hang myself on Christmas.
What's the difference between a nun praying in a church, and a nun in the bath?
The nun in the church has hope in her soul, the nun in the bath has soap in her hole
Jesus wants you to give him your soul
Whereas satan is willing to buy it off you.
A man asked Satan...
"How can I become the best guitarist in the world?"
Satan answered, "Give me your soul."
The man was bewildered. "What if I gave you a dollar instead?"
Satan smiled. "Then I'll make you the best bass player in the world."
I did my good deed for the day
I was at the Walmart check-out and was behind an old lady in the queue.
Her bill came to $51.60 but when she counted out her change she only had just under $50.
She didn't want me to help her, bless her poor little soul, but I insisted, and in no time we had all her shopping back on the shelves.
What's the difference between a nun and a woman masturbating in a bubble bath?
Ones got a soul full of hope...
A boy asks his father: "Dad, why is the food so cold and bland?" The dad replies:
Your mum put her heart and soul into it.
Bathroom Poetry
This little throne I call my own
I aim to keep it neat
So drain your soul, pee down the hole
And not upon the seat
I'm very appalled by holocaust jokes.
They are of poor taste and aren't funny.
My own grandfather died in a concentration camp.
The poor fellow, god bless his soul, went to get some food and accidentally fell down from his watchtower.
It's not easy being a dyslexic devil worshiper
If you're not careful, you could end up selling your soul to Santa
What do you get when your lovers soul is permanently stuck in a sword?
A bae-blade
They had a Ginger Lives Matter protest today
There was not a soul.
One of life's most soul crushing moments occurs every time that a song comes on the radio .....
And you think you are about to hear Under Pressure by Queen only to find out it's Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice.
I'm the life and soul of my workplace
I work in a morgue
I use a Ouija board as a chopping board
That's how I make my soul food.
A lawyer was working in his office when Satan appeared. "I can make it so you win every case in your career and make huge piles of money. In exchange you will give me your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, your parent's souls, your grandparent's souls and the souls of all your friends!"
The lawyer thought it over for a moment and then asked, "What's the catch?"
You and your soulmate are like two parallel lines.
You have so much in common.
It's a shame you'll never meet.
A man is in a bar having a drink. The guy next to him falls off of his barstool.
The man picks up the guy and sits him back on the barstool, and he falls off again. This time he picks the guy up and asks, ''Where do you live?'' Being a kind soul, the man takes the guy to his car, puts him in the back seat, and drives him home. When they get to the guy's house, the man helps the guy out of the car, but he falls down 3 times before getting to the front door. The man rings the doorbell and the guy's wife comes to the door. The man says, ''Hello, I've brought your husband home.'' The wife looks at the man and asks, ''Where's his wheel chair?''
A solar panel, a wind turbine and a hydro dam are all getting to know each other.
'What kind of music are you into?' asks the dam.
'I'm into trance', replies the solar panel.
'Ooh, too intense for me', dam says, 'I much prefer classical melodies, maybe a little 60s soul at the weekends.'
'What about you Mr Turbine? What are you into?'
'Me?' He replies, 'I'm a huge metal fan.'
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him.
The Devil told the lawyer, ''I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners.''
The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, ''So, what's the catch?''
There was this dyslexic who kept accidentally praying to his dog.
One day, he got so frustrated with it that he sold his soul to Santa.
Did you hear about the dyslexic guy that sold his soul to Satan?
He is now forced to make presents in the North Pole for all eternity.
I hosted a huge event for gingers last week
Sadly not a single soul showed up.
Soul Knicks joke
Soul: I've been messing with this team for decades !
Announcer: And the Knicks lose another game ...
Classical joke for Christmas period.
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
You can't take it with you
A wealthy man is on his deathbed. He tells his wife he thinks he has found a way to take his money with him when he dies. He asks her to put some money in a large suitcase and place it in the attic. When his soul leaves his body he'll grab the suitcase on his way to heaven. The wife obliges and does as asked and soon after the man dies.
A few months later the wife is cleaning out the attic and finds the suitcase. "Stupid idiot" she says "I knew I should have put it in the basement."
What's the difference between a lady in a church and a lady in a bathtub?
One has a soul full of hope, the other has a hole full of soap.
(I saw this as a meme, but haven't found it on this sub yet so here it goes) Pixar's movies always have the same idea
What if x has feelings?
Examples:
Toy Story: What if toys have feelings
Cars: What if cars have feelings
Inside Out: What if feelings have feelings
Soul: What if black people have feelings?
What does my heart, soul, bank balance and balls all have in common?
They're empty and, my wife doesn't know yet.
There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul.
Even if it's cold. Over ice. With a celery stalk. And vodka
Satan arrives to welcome a new damned soul to hell.
"Congratulations!", he says, "You wasted your entire pitiful life!"
"Well," the man replies, "at least I'm not a adult living in my father's basement."
Did you hear about the cucumber who sold his soul to be pickled?
He made a dill with the devil.
The heart and soul of a chef
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and dinner. After a few bites of his meal, he calls the bartender over. "Normally the food here is great," the guys says. "But tonight it is really cold and bitter." "Sorry about that. My wife is doing the cooking tonight," the bartender says. "She's really putting all of her heart and soul into it."
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the oven until its Bill Withers
What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?
A woman in church has hope in her soul...
My father knew the exact time of the exact day of the exact year that he would die.
Wow, what an evolved soul! How did it come to him?
The judge told him.
I'm never going to find a soul mate.
I really only find redheads attractive.
What's the difference between a mega church pastor and a crazed marine carrying a butt plug covered in superglue?
One wants to heal your soul for money.
The other wants to seal your hole for Gunny.
What do you call a Mexican / Soul Food Restaurant?
Nacho Mama's
What do you call the soul of a snail?
An escarghost.
What did the 8ft woman say to the man she believed was his soul mate because he was also 8ft?
We be long together
My friend committed arson at a gas station and is now locked inside. I fear for his soul.
I think he will surely burn in Shell.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the soul ginger no soul jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working soul ginger soul piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.