The Best 34 Sorts Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sorts jokes. There are some sorts variety jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sorts experimental puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sorts Jokes and Puns

There were three friends...

There were three friends - a lawyer, a doctor and a manager. The three of them were talking about the merits of having a wife vs. the merits of having a mistress.

The lawyer says, "It is more convenient to have a mistress. If you have a wife and want a divorce, there are all sorts of legal issues."

The doctor remarks: "It is certainly better to have a wife as it gives you a sense of security which in turn lowers your stress and helps you lead a healthy life."

The manager differs by saying: "I don't agree with either of you. I think it's best to have both. So when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress believes you are with your wife - you can go to the office and finish some work."

So, the other night I picked up a prostitute...

... And I began to pork her for several hours. I could tell she was really enjoying it, she made all sorts of weird noises.
I must have been going through puberty,
Because I made that hormone.

Potatoes are delicate

So my roommate and I decided the other day we wanted to put up a potato garden in our backyard, but there was all sorts of rocks and gravel back there.

We had to be very careful to clean it all up, as you know the old saying, "you can kill tubers with one stone."

Sorts joke, Potatoes are delicate

An Irish mother comes home from holiday

Mother to her son: "Where's your brother jimmy?"

Son: " Oh, He died."

Mother: "Jesus christ! Don't just come out with something like that, at least give me a warning of some sorts, like say he was on the roof and he fell off it or something!"

Son: "Oh ok, sorry mother"

Mother: "Never mind about that, where's your father?"

Son: "Well, He was on the roof..."

New machine at the gym.

They installed a new machine at my gym today, I managed to do 2 hours on it.

They do all sorts. Snickers, Kit-kats, Mars bars, you name it...

Manatees come in all sorts of shades and hues

Oh the hue manatee

My friend went camping in the Serengeti with all sorts of lions roaming around

It was in tents

Sorts joke, My friend went camping in the Serengeti with all sorts of lions roaming around

There's a gang in my neighborhood that recruits members by threatening them with all sorts of horrible punishments and tortures if they don't join ..

but enough about the Church ..

With all sorts of new products out there, did you know the most effective form of birth control has been almost completely unchanged for over twenty years?

Fake names.

I was amazed

As I get older, I never stop learning new things every day. I'm a new dad and the other day I was changing my baby when all of a sudden my kid rolls off of the changing table. As if animal instincts kicked into me in that split moment, or super powers of sorts, I swoop down with lightning speed and catch him INCHES off of the ground! Still to this day I'm amazed; I had no idea babies could bounce that high off of marbled flooring.

Gordon Ramsay on Kitchen Nightmares is kind of like a prostitute....

A major part of his job involves putting all sorts of awful and nasty things in his mouth!

You can explore sorts lot reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sorts valuables dad jokes. There are also sorts puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

So, there's this book all about watches.

It tells you about the history of watches, how they work, all sorts of things. It's coming out tomorrow.

It's about time.

I used to be Christian....

Her: I used to be Christian.

Him: It's all right, I don't really care for those sorts of things.

Her; Thank god! It's so much better now that I'm Christine!

My wife said "I used to be Christian"...

I said "Don't worry love, I don't really care for those sorts of things"...

She replied "Thank God!" It's so much better now I'm Christine".

Went fishing the other day...had nothing but liquorice for bait.

I caught All Sorts.

I went fishing the other day

After setting all my gear up, I realised I had left my tackle box at home. I found some liquorice in my pocket and thought I'd try it for my bait, I caught all sorts

Sorts joke, I went fishing the other day

Jack goes to his friend Mike

Jack goes to his friend Mike and says ...
"I'm sleeping with the pastor's wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?"

The friend doesn't like it but being a friend, he agrees.

After mass, he starts talking to the pastor, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied.

Finally the pastor gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to.

Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the pastor...
"My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied."

The pastor smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says...
"You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago"

I asked my cheese salesman if aged cheese was really better...

He told me that's a huge misnomer and that cheese loses all sorts of flavor after being aged 18 years.

He's a cheddophile

Kim Jong Un spends his spare time helping his citizens measure all sorts of things

He was quite a ruler.

[Bug Report] Each time I sort by "New" in this sub... sorts by most recent.

When I found out my girlfriend got pregnant I started thinking about all sorts of names.

I chose Juan Carlos and thought of running to Mexico.

I always dreamt I was a dishwasher when I was younger

When people started putting all sorts of odd things inside me I realized something

I wasn't a dishwasher

I was a woman.

My 33 year old friend is dating a 19 year old.

They went out to dinner and kept getting harassed by the locals.

They we're shouting 'Peado' and 'Cradle snatcher' and all sorts of horrible names.

It completely ruined their 10 year anniversary.

3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp

One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!

"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!

"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.

And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of him!

"I wish for a meat shower!" The second dinosaur said.

And so the genie made all different sorts of meats from different animals rain from a small cloud above the dinosaur's head.

Not wanting to be outdone by his friends the third dinosaur quickly tries to think of something better.

"I wish for a meatier shower!"

I went to the doctor because I've had the Pawn Stars theme stuck in my head for two weeks

He said he'd have to call in a buddy of his who was an expert on those sorts of things

(But seriously please help me I'm going insane)

one of the best documentarys

ive ever watched on netflix is about a chinese couple who didnt board the Malaysian flight 370 (one that disappeared) when they should have done. All sorts of conspiracy theories. worth a watch, highly recommended.

It's called 2 wongs dont make a flight

My wife asked me, If I die, will you re-marry?

I replied, I don't know love, I don't think about those sorts of things.

Well If you did, would she live in our house? she asked

I said, I don't know, I haven't thought about it!

Then she asked Would you let her wear my clothes?

I replied Nah she's not your size

Three guys just met eachother and they have a conversation about different sorts of paste

The first guy says: "I know everything about tomato paste, because I own an Italian restaurant."

The second guy says: "I know everything about toothpaste, because I am a dentist."

The third guy says: "I know everything about copy-paste, because I am a Redditor."

The first 5G cell phone mast in town is put up

Suddenly, all sorts of people develop medical conditions. A citizens' initiative against the mast is formed. A public hearing is organized with the mayor and representatives of the telecom company. The people bring forward all the ailments they suffer from since the mast was erected.

The telecom technician replies: "For God's sake, what will be going on when we then put the mast into operation?"

My grandma was quite the athlete

She had trophies for all sorts of things. Her most prized was a limbo trophy she won in Hawaii. When she passed my brother wanted it. I said no and he stole it. How much lower can you go?

To Christians out there....

My tinder date said to me "I used to be Christian"...

I said to her, "Don't worry darling, I don't really care for those sorts of things"...

She replied "Thank God!"
"It's so much better now that I'm Christine".

I'm really funny, people tell me my humour comes in all sorts of colors.

Someone suggested I should be a stand up chameleon.

There are two sorts of people:

Those who fini

At the dawn of the Stone Age…

Og the caveman noticed that after a long period of darkness the sun would rise, traverse across the sky and then sink below the horizon.

Then darkness… until the sun would again rise once again, travel across the sky and sink below the horizon.

Again and again. Over and over.

Og wished to give a name to this event.

He thought long and hard. He tried all
sorts of words until his brain hurt and his tongue lolled in his mouth.

He tried every variation of sounds he could think of until he was exhausted.

In the end, utterly exhausted, he just gave up and called it a day.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sorts unethical jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sorts illnesses piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes