Sore Jokes
141 sore jokes and hilarious sore puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sore that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Have you ever heard these jokes: "I'm so sore!" or "My back is so sore!"? Get in on the fun with our latest article, "Sore Jokes"! We'll tell you how to laugh at the different sore jokes, from "cold sore" to "saddle sore," to "canker sore" to "eye sore." We'll also explore how to make jokes about aches, such as a "sore back" or "throat sore," and even about uncommon medical conditions like conjunctivitis and Rex Tyranno!
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Funniest Sore Short Jokes
Short sore jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sore humour may include short painful jokes also.
- Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym. After they were done, they sat together in the locker room.
One turned to the other and said, "I'm sore, eh?"
The other said, "What for?" - I think I figured out the source of the beef between Kyle Rittenhouse and LeBron James. Kyle has LeBron sorely outclassed in both shooting and defense.
- What do you call a webpage that helps your eyes feel better? A site for sore eyes!
My dad made this up and wanted me to post it lol - What's the difference between a cold dessert and an injured girlfriend? One is ice cream and the other is a sore bae.
- Thankfully, someone created an online resource for everyone who suffered retinal damage watching the solar eclipse. It truly is a site for sore eyes.
- Did you hear that they make a webpage for people who suffer from chronic eye pain? It's a site for sore eyes.
- I'm so glad I stumbled across that optometrist's webpage... ...it was a site for sore eyes.
- My wife and I decided to spice things up and roll play our actual jobs, her a nurse and me a handyman. She went to bed early from working a double and her feet being sore and I didn't even show up.
- I lost the Sore loser Award last night... It's okay. The guy who won really deserved it and there is always next year.
- Was offered a bowl of dinosaurs to eat from my toddler. "No thanks! I'm allergic to dinosaurs, they make me break out in Dino sores"
Audible groan and required "I hate you" from their babysitter.
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Sore One Liners
Which sore one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sore? I can suggest the ones about sour and tired.
- Where to Egyptians go when they have a sore back? The Cairo-practor
- How did the T-Rex feel after working out? Dino-sore
- Have you ever visited conjunctivitis.com? It's a site for sore eyes
- Dated a Greek god, now I have cold sores Thanks a lot, Herpules
- www.emergencyophthalmologists.com Now there's a site for sore eyes
- A Grass-Type Pokemon walks in a doctor's office "Doc, my bulb is sore"
- When I was a kid I was a sore loser... ...,I cried every time my dad beat me.
- What do you call a dinosaur with a sore leg ? A mylegissaurus!
- My neighbors kept saying my yard was an eye sore.. Logically, i took a fence to it.
- I don't use condoms. They irritate my sores.
- What do you get hanging from orange trees? Sore arms.
- A woodpecker with a sore beak walks into a bar and asks "Where's the bar tender?"
- Why was the astronaut so sore? He had a buildup of ga-lactic acid.
- Why did Peter put Icy-Hot on his sore shoulder? For Pete's ache.
- What do you call a prehistoric bruise? A dino-sore
Throat Sore Jokes
Here is a list of funny throat sore jokes and even better throat sore puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a movie about Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly get sore throats? Strep Brothers
Eye Sore Jokes
Here is a list of funny eye sore jokes and even better eye sore puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was suffering from pinkeye for a long time until I found www.curing-conjunctivitis.com It was a site for sore eyes
- My wife called me an eyesore, when she really meant "sight for sore eyes" And I'm going to keep telling this to myself so I can maintain the strength it requires to make it through this life.
- Had to fire the web designer from my Allergy Eye Drop business today... ...everything he designed was a site for sore eyes.
- Reading my current book makes my eyes so sore It's a friction novel
- Last week, I saw a man fall face first into some stinging nettles... but luckily he was right next to an eye clinic.
I thought, well that's a sight for sore eyes.
- where did Commander Waterford get a cold sore? Under his eye
- what's the difference between a dermatologist and an ophthalmologist? one treats psoriasis and the other treats sore eyes and cysts
- Scientists have developed a new cure for conjunctivitis... It's a sight for sore eyes
- I went all around town looking for an optometrist's office when, at long last, I found one. It was a site for sore eyes.
- A police officer called my attention He asked why I have red eyes.......Now we both have sore eyes
Sore Back Jokes
Here is a list of funny sore back jokes and even better sore back puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Bill Murray's cameo have a sore back? It had to carry the new Ghostbusters movie for almost two hours.
- Why don't you need to get frozen yogurt after your SO gets back from the gym? Because you already have a Sore-bae.
- What does a Moose do when it gets a sore back? It gets a Moosage!
(Credit goes to a 10 year old patient of mine.) - What do you call an Irish basketball player with a sore back? Hunch-black of Notre Dame
Cold Sore Jokes
Here is a list of funny cold sore jokes and even better cold sore puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Was on Twitter earlier telling everyone about how I had this tiny spot on my top lip that turned into a massive cold sore… It's gone viral…
- How do you compliment a girl with a cold sore? You tell her that her smile is contagious.
Amusing Sore Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about sore you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sick jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sore pranks.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Courtesy of my youngest child - why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore t**... and cough?
Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
My youngest son thought of this all by himself...he's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska.
What did Shiva say after his workout?
My four arms are sore.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My t**... has been sore ever since I ate that tin of beef.
I think it felt a little horse. Thank you. Tip your waitress.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a centaur walks into a bar
The bartender says, "Hey, how's the sore t**...?"
The centaur replies, "My t**... isn't horse but my legs are."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The gift.
Knowing that the minister had a very sore t**..., an elderly woman presented him with a bottle of cherry brandy.
"This is quite soothing, the woman said, "but please don't tell anyone I gave you liquor. Everyone thinks I am teetotaler."
"I understand," replied the good man.
When the church magazine came out a few days later, the congregant skimmed the "With Appreciation" column. There she read: "The minister extends his thanks to Mrs. Alice Rodgers for her gift of fruit and the spirit in which it was given."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jon was excited about his new rifle..
... and wanted to try it out, so he went bear hunting. He spotted a small black bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear. The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have s**...." Jon decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a big brown bear stood right next to him. The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough s**...." Again, Jon thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned round to find a gigantic grizzly bear standing there. The grizzly bear said "Admit it, Jon, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sore Paws
Little Johnny calls his dad, 'Dad those two dogs over there, why is the one at the front giving the one at the back a ride?'
'Errr, hmm, well son, the one at the back has saw front paws, so the one at the front is giving him a lift home'
'It's always the same innit dad'
'What's that son?'
'You try and help someone out, you end up getting f**...!'
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man has a sore t**... and goes to the doctor...
Doctor: "Your tonsils gotta come out."
Patient: "I want a second opinion!"
Doctor: "Okay, I don't like your haircut."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After my grandfather recovered from his second heart attack at 64, he went to the doctor.
The doctor told him - "It's safe for you to resume normal s**... activity."
Without skipping a beat my grandfather replied - "Oh thank god, I was getting sore from the wife's k**... stuff."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The sore t**...
Carl, a young man, woke up and suffered from an awful sore t**... and all but lost his voice. The small town's doctor operated out of his own home, so Carl made his way over, scratching at his sore t**....
Dr. Wendell's wife answered the door, "Yes?"
Carl, in a very quiet, breathy voice replied, "Is the doctor in?"
Mrs. Wendell replied in the same whispering tone, "No.... come on in!"
*-Groucho Marx*
I was playing a quiet game of Scrabble with a friend
and he's a very sore loser. He was losing so badly, that he got extremely angry, picked up the bag and started throwing words beginning with 'th' at me.
I managed to dodge this, there and then. But I did not see that coming.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girl was taking an exam in class....
when she rose her hand and said "This is making my hand sore. Can we do this o**...?"
What do you find hanging from cherry trees?
Your arms have gotten sore.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is worse then a centipede with sore feet?
A giraffe with a sore t**...
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June was sore.
She scolded Ward Cleaver.
"You were awfully hard on the b**... last night Ward!!"
The tip of my tongue is sore, and I just can't think of why that is.
How did the man escape from prison?
Well, he rubbed his hands to make them sore,
He used the saw to cut the table in half,
Two halves make a whole,
He jumped into the hole and got out,
Finally he shouted til his voice was hoarse then climbed on the horse and rode back home.
An old one my grandfather told before he died.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's small, orange and sounds like a parrot?
An oompa loompa with a sore t**....
An elderly woman was at the doctor's office...
She asked why she was so sore all the time. He replied, jokingly, "A dissipated youth?"
She replied, "I wish I could remember him!"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you have rough s**... in an ice cream parlour?
A sore bae.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why Do Ranchers Love Getting A Sore t**...?
Because they always get a little hoarse
What do you call getting sore from playing to many video games?
Nintendonitis
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a berry with a sore t**...?
A raspberry!
My English teacher had a sore back today.
When someone asked him why, he said, "Well, i was trimming hedges, and I finished the first one, and i felt a little pinch in my back, but i just ignored it. But after the second one, my back just gave out on me."
To which i replied: "So, like the american economy- Fine after the first bush, collapsed after the second."
A guy goes to the doctor with a sore leg....
The doctor runs the normal tests and takes some x-rays. Unable to find the problem he finally decides to listen to the leg with his stethoscope, at the knee he hears "hey give me $5" at the calf he hears "hey give me $10" at the ankle he hears "hey give me$15". He takes off the stethoscope, looks up the patient and says " I have some bad news, your leg is broke in three places"
I'm taking a course with a focus on muscle fatigue.
I don't want to talk about it.
...It's a sore subject.
Hey. I can't help but peak at chu.
It's making my bulbs all sore.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a pink bird with a sore t**....
Must have been a phlegmingo.
I went to a Halloween party where everyone was dressed like a sore thumb
Not me, no, I stuck out like a vicar.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't people like talking about h**...?
It's a sore subject.
Why was the blonds bellybutton always sore?
She had a blond boyfriend.
Took my girlfriend to the ice cream factory and she fell into the gelato machine
She's a sore bae now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friends and I used to love a good game of Russian Roulette.
Unfortunately, they're a bunch of sore losers and won't play it with me anymore.
A woman gets home from the hospital.
She is walking slowly into the house so her husband asks if she is okay. " NO! my knees hurt and my jaw is sore." Her husband looks at her and says " I hate to say I told you so, but I told you not to take the job as Head nurse."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A liar, A cheat, and a sore loser walk into a bar.
The bartender says:
What'll it be Mrs.Clinton?
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A friend of mine died from a sore t**......
... Th**e**y hung him!
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call equine p**... with sore throats?
Hoarse horse w**...
Columbus Day is a really sore subject for me. It's so hard for me to honor the holiday while ignoring one of the biggest crimes in human history...
The introduction of Tobacco into western society.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Husband and wife decide to make a password...
...for s**...,
they decide on 'washing machine'.
Later in bed that night husband says,
Washing machine.
Wife replies, Not tonight darling I have a sore head.
Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says,
Washing machine.
Husband replies,
Too late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Steve Bannon called in sick today
"Sore t**...? "Kellyanne Asked.
Bannon replied: "It's Mein Cough"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Saw my friend JC with a s**... eye and asked him what happened..
He said he was having a really bad day coz he accidentally j**... himself in the eye while jerking off.
Basically he said "I came, eye sore."
I concurred.
I've got a map of Italy tattooed on my chest
I've got really sore Naples though
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Canadians have free alphabet healthcare?
Because of all their sore E's
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A man walks into the Doctor's
"Doctor, Doctor! I've got a sore t**...."
The doctor goes,
"I know how to fix this, stand by the window and stick your tongue out."
The man complies and stands by the window for a good 5 to 10 minutes sticking his tongue out before he can't stand it anymore.
"Doctor, this seems ridiculous, are you sure it's going to help my sore t**...?"
"No, I just don't like the man across the road."
I've been playing my lute for 7 hours and my fingers are sore and stiff
I have minstrel cramps.
Why was the Canadian stripper sore all over?
People had been throwing loonies at her all day
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dad passed away a few months ago, today would've been his 61 birthday. Blame him for my sense of humor.
My sister messaged me. "How are you doing?"
I Responded. "My elbow hurts and I have a cold sore on my tongue."
"Two lessons learned, don't fight a h**... and don't kiss one."
Super deflect..
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I can't mention stds around my friend who has h**...
It's a sore spot
I've been making pottery by hand all day and boy howdy am I sore
You could say I'm Clay Aiken
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... says...
p**... says to his wife, I have a really sore a**... this morning.
Wife says, ringsting?
p**... says, why whats he going to Do?
What does a dinosaur say when he hurts himself?
Dino sore.
Please forgive me for the dad joke.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man got a sore t**... and goes to a doctor's house
He knocks on the door and the doctor's wife opens the door "is the doctor home?" He asks whispering because of his t**.... The wife looks outside, sees no one and whispers "No, he's not. Come in".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a vegetable with a sore t**...?
A horse radish.
My wife told me to give the cat a bath..
My tongue was so sore afterwards
What did Bulbasaur tell Ivysaur when they left the gym?
Bulba, sore.
After getting acupuncture, my chronic muscle pain is completely gone.
The pin really is mightier than the sore.
What did the frozen desert say to his girlfriend after the gym
I'm sore Bae
Finding money while doing laundry feels just like a sore peter...
...you can't beat it!
Yon, the rockstar, tells his dad he has a sore leg.
'At least your knee isn't itchy.' He replies.
'Why's that?'
'Then you'd have an itchy knee, son Yon. Go rock.'
This mummy is sore...
It needs a Cairo-practor
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sadie and Myrtle are chatting over coffee.
Sadie: Oy, I have a sore t**....
Myrtle: Whenever I get a sore t**..., I s**... on a lifesaver.
Sadie: Easy for you, you live near the beach.
My Girlfriend Just Got Her Wisdom Teeth Out
She was telling me that her face was sore, so I told her she was a *"sore-bae*, get it? Sorbet?". And then she turned around in bed and wouldn't talk to me.
Why do pirates have sore joints?
Because they get arrrrrrrthritis
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
BJ for Sore t**...
"You don't look so good today, Bambi," said Barbie.
"You're right," said Bambi. "I feel like I'm coming down with something. My t**... really hurts."
Barbie suggested, "You know, whenever I have a sore t**... I give my husband o**... s**... and the next day I feel great."
Bambi carefully considered this. The next day Barbie noticed that Bambi looked better.
"You look much better today. Did you take my suggestion?"
Bambi replied, "I sure did. It worked great. And your husband just couldn't believe that it was your idea!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was a fat guy at the gym the other day. He was r**... over his tired limbs.
I guess he really is a sore loser.
Why do some coffins have pillows? They aint gonna wake up with a sore neck
Thats like thinking about what college you want your unvaccinated kid to go to
