Sore Jokes
166 sore jokes and hilarious sore puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sore that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Have you ever heard these jokes: "I'm so sore!" or "My back is so sore!"? Get in on the fun with our latest article, "Sore Jokes"! We'll tell you how to laugh at the different sore jokes, from "cold sore" to "saddle sore," to "canker sore" to "eye sore." We'll also explore how to make jokes about aches, such as a "sore back" or "throat sore," and even about uncommon medical conditions like conjunctivitis and Rex Tyranno!
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Funniest Sore Short Jokes
Short sore jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sore humour may include short painful jokes also.
- Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym. After they were done, they sat together in the locker room.
One turned to the other and said, "I'm sore, eh?"
The other said, "What for?" - I think I figured out the source of the beef between Kyle Rittenhouse and LeBron James. Kyle has LeBron sorely outclassed in both shooting and defense.
- What do you call a webpage that helps your eyes feel better? A site for sore eyes!
My dad made this up and wanted me to post it lol - My friends and I used to love a good game of Russian Roulette. Unfortunately, they're a bunch of sore losers and won't play it with me anymore.
- What's the difference between a cold dessert and an injured girlfriend? One is ice cream and the other is a sore bae.
- Thankfully, someone created an online resource for everyone who suffered retinal damage watching the solar eclipse. It truly is a site for sore eyes.
- Did you hear that they make a webpage for people who suffer from chronic eye pain? It's a site for sore eyes.
- I'm so glad I stumbled across that optometrist's webpage... ...it was a site for sore eyes.
- My grand father fought in WW2. Whenever I bring it up, he says he never wants to talk about it again. What a sore loser
- My wife and I decided to spice things up and roll play our actual jobs, her a nurse and me a handyman. She went to bed early from working a double and her feet being sore and I didn't even show up.
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Sore One Liners
Which sore one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sore? I can suggest the ones about sour and tired.
- Where to Egyptians go when they have a sore back? The Cairo-practor
- How did the T-Rex feel after working out? Dino-sore
- Have you ever visited conjunctivitis.com? It's a site for sore eyes
- Dated a Greek god, now I have cold sores Thanks a lot, Herpules
- www.emergencyophthalmologists.com Now there's a site for sore eyes
- A Grass-Type Pokemon walks in a doctor's office "Doc, my bulb is sore"
- I found a good website for conjunctivitis. It's a site for sore eyes.
- When I was a kid I was a sore loser... ...,I cried every time my dad beat me.
- What do you call a dinosaur with a sore leg ? A mylegissaurus!
- Conjunctivitis. com That's a site for sore eyes.
- My neighbors kept saying my yard was an eye sore.. Logically, i took a fence to it.
- How did the T-rex feel after his first trip to the gym? He felt Dino-sore
- I don't use condoms. They irritate my sores.
- Why was the blonde's belly button sore? Because her boyfriend was blond too.
- What do you get hanging from orange trees? Sore arms.
Throat Sore Jokes
Here is a list of funny throat sore jokes and even better throat sore puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a movie about Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly get sore throats? Strep Brothers
- A man has a sore t**... and goes to the doctor... Doctor: "Your tonsils gotta come out."
Patient: "I want a second opinion!"
Doctor: "Okay, I don't like your haircut." - It hurts me to say this... I have a sore t**...
- I took ivermectin for a sore t**... Because my doctor said only take it if I'm a little horse.
- It's hurts for me to say this... But I have a sore t**....
- What do you call a pony with a sore t**...? A little hoarse
- I saw a pink bird with a sore t**.... Must have been a phlegmingo.
- Did you hear about the pony with a sore t**...? He was diagnosed a little horse.
Thank you.... you're a great crowd. - Did you hear about the pony with the sore t**...? He was a little hoarse
- So a centaur walks into a bar The bartender says, "Hey, how's the sore t**...?"
The centaur replies, "My t**... isn't horse but my legs are."
Sore Throat Jokes
Here is a list of funny sore throat jokes and even better sore throat puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Q: What did the pony say when he had a sore t**...?
A: Sorry, I'm a little horse. - Why Do Ranchers Love Getting A Sore t**...? Because they always get a little hoarse
- What's small, orange and sounds like a parrot? An oompa loompa with a sore t**....
- A friend of mine died from a sore t**...... ... Th**e**y hung him!
- Steve Bannon called in sick today "Sore t**...? "Kellyanne Asked.
Bannon replied: "It's Mein Cough" - A man goes to the doctor with a sore t**.... "Doctor, I feel like a pony!"
"Don't worry," says the doctors, "it sounds to me like you're just a little hoarse" - Sadie and Myrtle are chatting over coffee. Sadie: Oy, I have a sore t**....
Myrtle: Whenever I get a sore t**..., I s**... on a lifesaver.
Sadie: Easy for you, you live near the beach. - What is s**... like? s**... is like a rollercoaster. There are ups and downs, twists and turns... and someone's t**... is always sore afterwards
- What do you call a vegetable with a sore t**...? A horse radish.
- What do you call equine p**... with sore throats? Hoarse horse w**...
Eye Sore Jokes
Here is a list of funny eye sore jokes and even better eye sore puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Paid a visit to 'www.conjunctivitis.com' earlier... Believe me, it's a site for sore eyes.
- I was suffering from pinkeye for a long time until I found www.curing-conjunctivitis.com It was a site for sore eyes
- www.conjunctivitis.com Now there's a site for sore eyes
- My wife called me an eyesore, when she really meant "sight for sore eyes" And I'm going to keep telling this to myself so I can maintain the strength it requires to make it through this life.
- Have you heard of conjunctivitis dot com? It's a site for sore eyes.
- Had to fire the web designer from my Allergy Eye Drop business today... ...everything he designed was a site for sore eyes.
- Reading my current book makes my eyes so sore It's a friction novel
- Last week, I saw a man fall face first into some stinging nettles... but luckily he was right next to an eye clinic.
I thought, well that's a sight for sore eyes.
- where did Commander Waterford get a cold sore? Under his eye
- what's the difference between a dermatologist and an ophthalmologist? one treats psoriasis and the other treats sore eyes and cysts
Sore Back Jokes
Here is a list of funny sore back jokes and even better sore back puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Bill Murray's cameo have a sore back? It had to carry the new Ghostbusters movie for almost two hours.
- Why don't you need to get frozen yogurt after your SO gets back from the gym? Because you already have a Sore-bae.
- What does a Moose do when it gets a sore back? It gets a Moosage!
(Credit goes to a 10 year old patient of mine.) - I was going to get a headjob for Valentines Day But my back was sore and I couldn't reach.
- What do you call an Irish basketball player with a sore back? Hunch-black of Notre Dame
- What would you get if a dinosaur kicked you in back? A-MEGA-SORE-a**...
Cold Sore Jokes
Here is a list of funny cold sore jokes and even better cold sore puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Was on Twitter earlier telling everyone about how I had this tiny spot on my top lip that turned into a massive cold sore… It's gone viral…
- How do you compliment a girl with a cold sore? You tell her that her smile is contagious.
- What's cold, sore, and you can never get rid of? Our b**... a**... loser president
- In the US, the number one cause of cold sores is... Women hiding the fact they have h**...
- I just got my first cold sore... My mom says: "Welcome to the world of h**...!"
- It's not h**...... They're called g**... Cold Sores
Amusing Sore Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about sore you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sick jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sore pranks.
Courtesy of my youngest child - why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore t**... and cough?
Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
My youngest son thought of this all by himself...he's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska.
I was at the dentist yesterday
As he was inspecting my teeth, he poked and prodded and scraped one of my back molars that was particularly sore. He leaned closer for a better look, and said to me, "That's the biggest cavity I've ever seen! That's the biggest cavity I've ever seen!"
I was kind of offended. "Doc, I'm not s**... or deaf, you didn't have to repeat yourself."
"I wasn't repeating myself, that was the echo!"
I lost the Sore Loser Award last night...
It's okay. The guy who won really deserved it and there is always next year.
The gift.
Knowing that the minister had a very sore t**..., an elderly woman presented him with a bottle of cherry brandy.
"This is quite soothing, the woman said, "but please don't tell anyone I gave you liquor. Everyone thinks I am teetotaler."
"I understand," replied the good man.
When the church magazine came out a few days later, the congregant skimmed the "With Appreciation" column. There she read: "The minister extends his thanks to Mrs. Alice Rodgers for her gift of fruit and the spirit in which it was given."
Jon was excited about his new rifle..
... and wanted to try it out, so he went bear hunting. He spotted a small black bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear. The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have s**...." Jon decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a big brown bear stood right next to him. The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough s**...." Again, Jon thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned round to find a gigantic grizzly bear standing there. The grizzly bear said "Admit it, Jon, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
Sore Paws
Little Johnny calls his dad, 'Dad those two dogs over there, why is the one at the front giving the one at the back a ride?'
'Errr, hmm, well son, the one at the back has saw front paws, so the one at the front is giving him a lift home'
'It's always the same innit dad'
'What's that son?'
'You try and help someone out, you end up getting f**...!'
Why did the blonde have a red sore on her belly button?
Because blonde men are idiots too.
Why was the astronaut so sore?
He had a buildup of ga-lactic acid.
After my grandfather recovered from his second heart attack at 64, he went to the doctor.
The doctor told him - "It's safe for you to resume normal s**... activity."
Without skipping a beat my grandfather replied - "Oh thank god, I was getting sore from the wife's k**... stuff."
The sore t**...
Carl, a young man, woke up and suffered from an awful sore t**... and all but lost his voice. The small town's doctor operated out of his own home, so Carl made his way over, scratching at his sore t**....
Dr. Wendell's wife answered the door, "Yes?"
Carl, in a very quiet, breathy voice replied, "Is the doctor in?"
Mrs. Wendell replied in the same whispering tone, "No.... come on in!"
*-Groucho Marx*
I was playing a quiet game of Scrabble with a friend
and he's a very sore loser. He was losing so badly, that he got extremely angry, picked up the bag and started throwing words beginning with 'th' at me.
I managed to dodge this, there and then. But I did not see that coming.
What do you find hanging from cherry trees?
Your arms have gotten sore.
June was sore.
She scolded Ward Cleaver.
"You were awfully hard on the b**... last night Ward!!"
How did the man escape from prison?
Well, he rubbed his hands to make them sore,
He used the saw to cut the table in half,
Two halves make a whole,
He jumped into the hole and got out,
Finally he shouted til his voice was hoarse then climbed on the horse and rode back home.
An old one my grandfather told before he died.
What do you get when you have rough s**... in an ice cream parlour?
A sore bae.
My English teacher had a sore back today.
When someone asked him why, he said, "Well, i was trimming hedges, and I finished the first one, and i felt a little pinch in my back, but i just ignored it. But after the second one, my back just gave out on me."
To which i replied: "So, like the american economy- Fine after the first bush, collapsed after the second."
A guy goes to the doctor with a sore leg....
The doctor runs the normal tests and takes some x-rays. Unable to find the problem he finally decides to listen to the leg with his stethoscope, at the knee he hears "hey give me $5" at the calf he hears "hey give me $10" at the ankle he hears "hey give me$15". He takes off the stethoscope, looks up the patient and says " I have some bad news, your leg is broke in three places"
I'm taking a course with a focus on muscle fatigue.
I don't want to talk about it.
...It's a sore subject.
Hey. I can't help but peak at chu.
It's making my bulbs all sore.
I went to a Halloween party where everyone was dressed like a sore thumb
Not me, no, I stuck out like a vicar.
Why don't people like talking about h**...?
It's a sore subject.
Took my girlfriend to the ice cream factory and she fell into the gelato machine
She's a sore bae now.
A woman gets home from the hospital.
She is walking slowly into the house so her husband asks if she is okay. " NO! my knees hurt and my jaw is sore." Her husband looks at her and says " I hate to say I told you so, but I told you not to take the job as Head nurse."
A liar, A cheat, and a sore loser walk into a bar.
The bartender says:
What'll it be Mrs.Clinton?
Husband and wife decide to make a password...
...for s**...,
they decide on 'washing machine'.
Later in bed that night husband says,
Washing machine.
Wife replies, Not tonight darling I have a sore head.
Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says,
Washing machine.
Husband replies,
Too late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.
Saw my friend JC with a s**... eye and asked him what happened..
He said he was having a really bad day coz he accidentally j**... himself in the eye while jerking off.
Basically he said "I came, eye sore."
I concurred.
Son walks in on his dad m**...
Dad tells him "son... you'll be doing this soon".
The son asks "why... because I'm about to hit puberty?"
To which the dad replies "no... because my arm is getting sore"
I've got a map of Italy tattooed on my chest
I've got really sore Naples though
Complained to my doctor about getting sore wrists every time I give my friends a ride through the underpass...
He told me I had carpool tunnel syndrome.
Why do Canadians have free alphabet healthcare?
Because of all their sore E's
A man walks into the Doctor's
"Doctor, Doctor! I've got a sore t**...."
The doctor goes,
"I know how to fix this, stand by the window and stick your tongue out."
The man complies and stands by the window for a good 5 to 10 minutes sticking his tongue out before he can't stand it anymore.
"Doctor, this seems ridiculous, are you sure it's going to help my sore t**...?"
"No, I just don't like the man across the road."
I've been playing my lute for 7 hours and my fingers are sore and stiff
I have minstrel cramps.
Why was the Canadian stripper sore all over?
People had been throwing loonies at her all day
My dad passed away a few months ago, today would've been his 61 birthday. Blame him for my sense of humor.
My sister messaged me. "How are you doing?"
I Responded. "My elbow hurts and I have a cold sore on my tongue."
"Two lessons learned, don't fight a h**... and don't kiss one."
Super deflect..
I can't mention stds around my friend who has h**...
It's a sore spot
I've been making pottery by hand all day and boy howdy am I sore
You could say I'm Clay Aiken
What does a dinosaur say when he hurts himself?
Dino sore.
Please forgive me for the dad joke.
A man got a sore t**... and goes to a doctor's house
He knocks on the door and the doctor's wife opens the door "is the doctor home?" He asks whispering because of his t**.... The wife looks outside, sees no one and whispers "No, he's not. Come in".
What do you apply to a sore pig's nose?
Oinkment
What do you call an Egyptian who treats sore muscles?
A cairopractor
My wife told me to give the cat a bath..
My tongue was so sore afterwards
What did Bulbasaur tell Ivysaur when they left the gym?
Bulba, sore.
After getting acupuncture, my chronic muscle pain is completely gone.
The pin really is mightier than the sore.
My Girlfriend Just Got Her Wisdom Teeth Out
She was telling me that her face was sore, so I told her she was a *"sore-bae*, get it? Sorbet?". And then she turned around in bed and wouldn't talk to me.
Why do pirates have sore joints?
Because they get arrrrrrrthritis
BJ for Sore t**...
"You don't look so good today, Bambi," said Barbie.
"You're right," said Bambi. "I feel like I'm coming down with something. My t**... really hurts."
Barbie suggested, "You know, whenever I have a sore t**... I give my husband o**... s**... and the next day I feel great."
Bambi carefully considered this. The next day Barbie noticed that Bambi looked better.
"You look much better today. Did you take my suggestion?"
Bambi replied, "I sure did. It worked great. And your husband just couldn't believe that it was your idea!"
I was s**... active at 10
It is now 10:15 and my arm is still sore...
Why do some coffins have pillows? They aint gonna wake up with a sore neck
Thats like thinking about what college you want your unvaccinated kid to go to
A group of horses was making fun of a miniature horse who sounded weird because he had a sore t**....
One of the horses felt bad for the little guy, and said to his friends, "Leave him alone, he's just a little hoarse."
An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were robbing a pet sore...
An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were robbing a pet store.
Suddenly the cops show up and they all quickly hide in sacks.
The cops kick the first sack with the Englishman in and he goes "meow".
They move on and kick the second sack and the Scotsman goes "woof".
They then kick the third sack with the Irishman in and he says "potatoes".
A man went to the doctor about pain in his backside
He said:
"Doctor please help me my bottom hurts"
The doctor replied,
"Well can you tell me exactly where it hurts"
The man said,
"Right around the entrance it's really sore"
To which the doctor said,
"My advice is that for as long as you call that the entrance, it'll hurt"
A drug addict, a man taking a nap, and Donald Trump.
What are a user, a snoozer, and a sore loser.
An Antarctic explorer has a sore a**... from sitting on the ice all day.
Since there's currently no doctor on base, he phones his doctor 5,000km away in Melbourne. The doctor says it's probably just piles, but since I can't examine you, you'd better send a photo just in case it's something more serious.
Worried, the explorer blurts out how the h**... do I take a photo of piles on my own b**... in the middle of Antarctica?!?
The doctor replies I'd suggest a polarrhoid camera.
A woodpecker with a sore beak walks into a bar
and asks "Where's the bar tender?"
