The Best 62 Sore Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sore jokes. There are some sore bruise jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sore sore throat puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sore Jokes and Puns

Courtesy of my youngest child - why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough?

Because a cold never bothered her anyway.

My youngest son thought of this all by himself...he's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska.

When I was a kid I was a sore loser...

...,I cried every time my dad beat me.

I was at the dentist yesterday

As he was inspecting my teeth, he poked and prodded and scraped one of my back molars that was particularly sore. He leaned closer for a better look, and said to me, "That's the biggest cavity I've ever seen! That's the biggest cavity I've ever seen!"

I was kind of offended. "Doc, I'm not stupid or deaf, you didn't have to repeat yourself."

"I wasn't repeating myself, that was the echo!"

Sore joke, I was at the dentist yesterday

I lost the Sore Loser Award last night...

It's okay. The guy who won really deserved it and there is always next year.

The gift.

Knowing that the minister had a very sore throat, an elderly woman presented him with a bottle of cherry brandy.

"This is quite soothing, the woman said, "but please don't tell anyone I gave you liquor. Everyone thinks I am teetotaler."

"I understand," replied the good man.

When the church magazine came out a few days later, the congregant skimmed the "With Appreciation" column. There she read: "The minister extends his thanks to Mrs. Alice Rodgers for her gift of fruit and the spirit in which it was given."


Jon was excited about his new rifle..

... and wanted to try it out, so he went bear hunting. He spotted a small black bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear. The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have sex." Jon decided to bend over.Β Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a big brown bear stood right next to him.Β The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough sex." Again, Jon thought it was better to comply.Β Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned round to find a gigantic grizzly bear standing there.Β The grizzly bear said "Admit it, Jon, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"Β 

A man has a sore throat and goes to the doctor...

Doctor: "Your tonsils gotta come out."

Patient: "I want a second opinion!"

Doctor: "Okay, I don't like your haircut."

Sore joke, A man has a sore throat and goes to the doctor...

My neighbors kept saying my yard was an eye sore..

Logically, i took a fence to it.

I was playing a quiet game of Scrabble with a friend

and he's a very sore loser. He was losing so badly, that he got extremely angry, picked up the bag and started throwing words beginning with 'th' at me.

I managed to dodge this, there and then. But I did not see that coming.

How did the man escape from prison?

Well, he rubbed his hands to make them sore,
He used the saw to cut the table in half,
Two halves make a whole,
He jumped into the hole and got out,
Finally he shouted til his voice was hoarse then climbed on the horse and rode back home.

An old one my grandfather told before he died.

Paid a visit to 'www.conjunctivitis.com' earlier...

Believe me, it's a site for sore eyes.

You can explore sore tyranno reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sore bulbasaur dad jokes. There are also sore puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you get when you have rough sex in an ice cream parlour?

A sore bae.

It's hurts for me to say this...

But I have a sore throat.

What do you get hanging from orange trees?

Sore arms.

My English teacher had a sore back today.

When someone asked him why, he said, "Well, i was trimming hedges, and I finished the first one, and i felt a little pinch in my back, but i just ignored it. But after the second one, my back just gave out on me."

To which i replied: "So, like the american economy- Fine after the first bush, collapsed after the second."

I was suffering from pinkeye for a long time until I found www.curing-conjunctivitis.com

It was a site for sore eyes

Sore joke, I was suffering from pinkeye for a long time until I found www.curing-conjunctivitis.com

A guy goes to the doctor with a sore leg....

The doctor runs the normal tests and takes some x-rays. Unable to find the problem he finally decides to listen to the leg with his stethoscope, at the knee he hears "hey give me $5" at the calf he hears "hey give me $10" at the ankle he hears "hey give me$15". He takes off the stethoscope, looks up the patient and says " I have some bad news, your leg is broke in three places"

I saw a pink bird with a sore throat.

Must have been a phlegmingo.

Why don't people like talking about herpes?

It's a sore subject.


Why was the blonde's belly button sore?

Because her boyfriend was blond too.

Took my girlfriend to the ice cream factory and she fell into the gelato machine

She's a sore bae now.

My friends and I used to love a good game of Russian Roulette.

Unfortunately, they're a bunch of sore losers and won't play it with me anymore.

A woman gets home from the hospital.

She is walking slowly into the house so her husband asks if she is okay. " NO! my knees hurt and my jaw is sore." Her husband looks at her and says " I hate to say I told you so, but I told you not to take the job as Head nurse."

A liar, A cheat, and a sore loser walk into a bar.

The bartender says:

What'll it be Mrs.Clinton?

Conjunctivitis. com

That's a site for sore eyes.

My grand father fought in WW2. Whenever I bring it up, he says he never wants to talk about it again.

What a sore loser

Have you ever visited conjunctivitis.com?

It's a site for sore eyes

Husband and wife decide to make a password...

...for sex,
they decide on 'washing machine'.
Later in bed that night husband says,
Washing machine.
Wife replies, Not tonight darling I have a sore head.
Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says,
Washing machine.
Husband replies,
Too late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.

Son walks in on his dad masturbating

Dad tells him "son... you'll be doing this soon".

The son asks "why... because I'm about to hit puberty?"

To which the dad replies "no... because my arm is getting sore"

www.emergencyophthalmologists.com

Now there's a site for sore eyes

What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

A little hoarse

I can't mention STDs around my friend who has herpes

It's a sore spot

Thankfully, someone created an online resource for everyone who suffered retinal damage watching the solar eclipse.

It truly is a site for sore eyes.

I'm so glad I stumbled across that optometrist's webpage...

...it was a site for sore eyes.

I've been making pottery by hand all day and boy howdy am I sore

You could say I'm Clay Aiken

[NSFW] "You don't sound so well today", a woman told her business partner.

"I have a sore throat", the partner responded.
"I have the best cure", the first said. "Each time I have a sore throat I blow my husband and immediately feel better."
The next day the partner walks into work with a smile on her face.
"Did you do what I suggested?", the first asked.
"Yes, and thanks for the tip", the second said.
"Your husband couldn't believe it was your idea!"

What does a dinosaur say when he hurts himself?

Dino sore.

Please forgive me for the dad joke.

A man got a sore throat and goes to a doctor's house

He knocks on the door and the doctor's wife opens the door "is the doctor home?" He asks whispering because of his throat. The wife looks outside, sees no one and whispers "No, he's not. Come in".

What do you call a webpage that helps your eyes feel better?

A site for sore eyes!

My dad made this up and wanted me to post it lol

What's the difference between a cold dessert and an injured girlfriend?

One is ice cream and the other is a sore bae.

A Grass-Type Pokemon walks in a doctor's office

"Doc, my bulb is sore"

Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym.

After they were done, they sat together in the locker room.

One turned to the other and said, "I'm sore, eh?"

The other said, "What for?"

BJ for Sore Throat

"You don't look so good today, Bambi," said Barbie.

"You're right," said Bambi. "I feel like I'm coming down with something. My throat really hurts."

Barbie suggested, "You know, whenever I have a sore throat I give my husband oral sex and the next day I feel great."

Bambi carefully considered this. The next day Barbie noticed that Bambi looked better.

"You look much better today. Did you take my suggestion?"

Bambi replied, "I sure did. It worked great. And your husband just couldn't believe that it was your idea!"

I was sexually active at 10

It is now 10:15 and my arm is still sore...

Why do some coffins have pillows? They aint gonna wake up with a sore neck

Thats like thinking about what college you want your unvaccinated kid to go to

Did you hear that they make a webpage for people who suffer from chronic eye pain?

It's a site for sore eyes.

What's cold, sore, and you can never get rid of?

Our bitch ass loser president

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were robbing a pet sore...

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were robbing a pet store.
Suddenly the cops show up and they all quickly hide in sacks.
The cops kick the first sack with the Englishman in and he goes "meow".
They move on and kick the second sack and the Scotsman goes "woof".
They then kick the third sack with the Irishman in and he says "potatoes".

A woodpecker with a sore beak walks into a bar

and asks "Where's the bar tender?"

I found a good website for conjunctivitis.

It's a site for sore eyes.

So I went to the doctor yesterday...

And told him that my bottom hurts.

Doctor: Where does it exactly hurt?

Me: Right around the entrance, it's really sore

Doctor: My advice is that for as long as you call it the entrance, it'll hurt.

Had a bunch of missed calls yesterday...

They were from my buddy Mike complaining he was sore all over.

I think I missed Mike ache day.

It hurts me to say this...

I have a sore throat

I took ivermectin for a sore throat

Because my doctor said only take it if I'm a little horse.

What do you get if you trip over a Pokemon?

A bulbous sore

www.conjunctivitis.com

Now there's a site for sore eyes

all I wanted for Christmas

So a friend asked me if I got what I wanted for Christmas. I told him no and explain that I told my wife when she asked me what I wanted it was simple and wouldn't cost her anything I would give her everything she needed to complete the job. The only thing she had to worry about was possibly cleaning her hair and face after she was finished with the job and she possibly may have a sore neck she refused to give me what I wanted for Christmas so I guess I have to paint my own ceiling.

Have you heard of conjunctivitis dot com?

It's a site for sore eyes.

What's the saltiest dinosaur?

Tyrano Sore Ass

Got accosted by a bunch of guys proclaiming the end is nigh…

First one was positive for covid, the second one had laryngitis, next one a smoker's cough and the last one had a sore throat…

I think they were the Four hoarse men of the apocalypse.

Where to Egyptians go when they have a sore back?

The Cairo-practor

Did you hear about the pony with a sore throat?

He was diagnosed a little horse.


Thank you.... you're a great crowd.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sore hurt jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sore dinosaur piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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