Soothing Jokes
13 soothing jokes and hilarious soothing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about soothing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Soothing Short Jokes
Short soothing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The soothing humour may include short refreshing jokes also.
- As my airplane was hitting a bad turbulance, I got on the loudspeakers with a soothing message for the passengers. Apparently, "No pressure!" wasn't the best choice of words.
- When my wife gets a little upset, sometimes a simple Calm down in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her a lot upset
- I'm working on a new line of soothing, caffeine-free, herbal tea for ladies. It's going to be called The Steepover®
- When my Wife gets her period I soothingly like to tell her... Shouldn't have ate that Apple.
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Soothing One Liners
Which soothing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with soothing? I can suggest the ones about pleasing and soaking.
- Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast Not unlike a good sports bra
- What's the least soothing thing when you've been put on hold? Soothing music.
Giggle-Inducing Soothing Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about soothing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean irritating jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make soothing pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Boudreaux decides to surprise his wife for Valentine's day. His wife has been wanting a milk bath to soothe her skin. He goes to the milk man and states he needs some milk. The milk man says, Since you are filling up the bathtub, do you want it pasteurize?
Boudreaux says, no I just need it passed her a**..., not pasteurize (passed her eyes)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
'Calm Your t**...' is derogatory.
Feminists reccomend, instead :
'De-stress the b**...",'Soothe your b**...', 'Give that Chest a Rest', 'Don't have a Rack Attack'
and
'Hakuna the Tattas'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The gift.
Knowing that the minister had a very sore t**..., an elderly woman presented him with a bottle of cherry brandy.
"This is quite soothing, the woman said, "but please don't tell anyone I gave you liquor. Everyone thinks I am teetotaler."
"I understand," replied the good man.
When the church magazine came out a few days later, the congregant skimmed the "With Appreciation" column. There she read: "The minister extends his thanks to Mrs. Alice Rodgers for her gift of fruit and the spirit in which it was given."
Karen's 911 call
Karen was cleaning Kyle's rifle and shot him by accident. She calls 911.
"It's my husband," said Karen. "I've accidentally shot him... I've killed him," she sobbed.
"Please calm down, ma'am," the 911 operator tried to sooth her. "Can you please make sure he's actually dead?"
\[Click\] BANG!
"Okay, I've done that. What now?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul.
Even if it's cold. Over ice. With a celery stalk. And v**...
A man is sitting at a bar in Las Vegas, crying.
The Bartender notices him and asks him what's wrong.
The man answers:''I lost over 50 grand this weekend betting on sports. I Went 0-8 in Baseball, 0-13 in Basketball, 0-6 In Football and 0-9 in Soccer."
The bartender, in disbelief, tries to soothe the man:"Have you ever tried betting on Hockey?"
The man quickly responds:"Of course not. I don't know anything about hockey!"
A couple is fighting more than usual these last few years...
After each fight the wife goes directly to the bathroom and cleans it. Once they make up the husband ask the wife
Why do you clean the bathroom every time we fight?
The wife looks at her husband, it's not only soothing but I use your toothbrush to scrub the toilet
Little Johnny comes downstairs crying.
His mother asked, "What’s the matter now?"
"Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer," said little Johnny through his tears.
"That’s not so serious," soothed his mother.
"I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?"
"I did!" sobbed Johnny.
