Sons Jokes
145 sons jokes and hilarious sons puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sons that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A collection of hilarious jokes about sons, brothers, and kids! From jokes referencing Mumford & Sons and Sons of Anarchy to jokes about siblings, find something to share with your family and friends!
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Funniest Sons Short Jokes
Short sons jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sons humour may include short tons jokes also.
- Son: "Mom, Dad, I'm gay." Mom: *Stares at Dad*
Dad: *Clenches fist*
Mom: "Don't!"
Dad: *Sweats Profusely*
Mom: "..."
Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"
- Son In iraq I killed 15 people. Son: Dad you were a helicopter mechanic
Dad:Never said I was a good one - My son kept chewing on electrical chords, so I grounded him... He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.
- The son went to his dad and asked him, "Dad, what's an alcoholic?" So the dad replied, "Do you see those four trees? Well, an alcoholic would see eight."
The son replied, "But Dad, I only see two." - A child asks his father what "gay" means The father says it means happy to his son, to which the son replies "Dad are you gay?" The father laughs and says "no son I have a wife".
- My wife beamed at me with pride and said, Wow! I never thought our son would go that far! I said, This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter.
- What does gay mean? asked a son to his father.
"It means 'happy,'" the father answered.
"Oh," replied the son, "so are you gay, then?"
"No, son, I have a wife." - Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.
- My son came home as I was taking his door off it's hinges and asked Dad what are you doing?
We've updated our privacy policy - Father: Son, you were adopted. Son: What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
Father: We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.
Share These Sons Jokes With Friends
Sons One Liners
Which sons one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sons? I can suggest the ones about sole and stein.
- Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses? No son, have you seen my dad glasses?
- 6 yr old son made this up. What do exploding pandas eat? BAMBOOM!
- Did you know that Stephen King has a son named joe? I'm not joking, but he is
- My son is 2934 days old today. He was born on 12/12/12.
- "Son you're just not cut out to be a mime." "Is it something I said?"
"Yes." - Son: "Dad, Am I adopted"? Dad: "Not yet. We still haven't found anyone who wants you."
- My son identifies as a crescent moon. I'm worried, but my wife says it's just a phase.
- One man's trash is another Man's treasure Is not the way to tell your son he is adopted.
- Today my son asked me, Dad are we pyromaniacs? I replied: yes, we arson.
- A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks: "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
- Dad joke..... Dad: what are you drinking, son?
Son: Soy Milk
Dad: Hola Milk, soy padre - Son: Dad, how do stars die? Dad: Drugs, usually.
- From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks? You.
Why I oughta...! - I met an Anti-Vaxxer today... Unfortunately, I couldn't meet his son.
- I became a proud father today.... My son's 4 but he's been pretty annoying until now
Sons And Daughters Jokes
Here is a list of funny sons and daughters jokes and even better sons and daughters puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after Star Wars characters... My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
- "Craig, I caught your son playing 'doctor' with my daughter!" "Oh lord, that kid. My boy didn't do anything inappropriate, did he?"
"I'll say! The co-pay he charged was outrageous!" - I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons. I think I have telekinieces.
- Husband: Wow, I never thought our son would go that far! Wife: Yeah, the catapult is amazing! Go get our daughter.
- "If my boy turns out to be one of them trangendereds, that ain't no son of mine" She'd be my daughter.
- Political correctness gone mad. I can't even refer to my own child as my disabled son.
Apparently it's my "daughter." - I let my brother name my twins. He did fine with my daughter, Denise. But my son may never forgive him for naming him Denephew.
- My son Anakin loves that I named all of our children after Star Wars characters My daughter Chewbacca, however, is less thrilled.
- A mother was tucking her son in one night she really wanted a daughter
- Parents are worried about two things these days 1. What their sons download
2. What their daughters upload
Mumford And Sons Jokes
Here is a list of funny mumford and sons jokes and even better mumford and sons puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why are Mumford & Sons the only agnostic rock band? Because they don't even know if they believe.
- What instrument did the koala play when he joined Mumford and Sons? The Eucalele!
- What would you call Mumford and Sons if they were a cleaning company? Mumford and Crums
Cheerful Sons Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about sons you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cons jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sons pranks.
Jewish ad campaign
Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.
Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he saw the first billboard ad. There it was - a picture of Christ on the Cross, with the caption: "Nails for Every Purpose. Use Moskowitz Nails."
The old man immediately met with his 3 sons to voice his concern. He explained that the backlash could be horrendous. The company could be ruined. The sons agreed to discontinue that ad.
A week later the old man was again taking his usual Sunday drive when he saw the second billboard ad. There it was - - a picture of the same cross, empty, with Christ crumpled on the ground below... and the caption: "Next Time Use Moskowitz Nails."
A Jew, a Catholic, and a m**... all walk into a bar...
The Jewish man boasts, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team." The Catholic man says, "That's nothing! I have ten sons. One more and I'll have a soccer team!" The m**... stands up and proclaims, "Big deal! I have seventeen wives. One more and I'll have a golf course!"
A man and his wife are having s**......
...when their ten year old son walks in on them. The son screams, "OH MY GOD!" and then runs out of the room. The father laughs and says to give the son a few minutes to calm down, and then he'll explain what was going on.
A few minutes later, the father walks into his sons room to find him having s**... with his grandmother. The man screams, "OH MY GOD!"
"Yeah," his son says, "It's not so funny when it's your mother, is it?"
The two troublemakers
A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.
So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.
The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"
I was Jesus last time!
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson..
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
' Ryan , you be Jesus !'
Did you hear the one about the mother who called all her 10 sons Anthony?
When someone told her that it's a complication she replied, "No it's not. It simplifies my life."
"How so?" she was asked.
"Simple" she replied, "When dinner's ready I just call Anthony and all of them come."
"But what do you do if you want to call the attention of one in particular?"
"I call him by his last name."
Three Men Brag About Their Sons.
Three men are in a bar. They are talking about how great their sons are to their respective girlfriends. The first man says my son is an amazing pilot. He gave his girlfriend a plane as a gift he is the best. The second man says well my son happens to be a great carpenter he actually built his girlfriend a three story house. The final man says my son is gay but his boyfriend must really like him, he got a plane and a three story house from him.
What did the Mexican firefighter name his 2 sons?
Jose and Josb
Joke my dad told me a long time ago, although I know he didn't create it
The twins
There were two twin brothers called Juan and Jamal who had grown up and left their family to find their luck far away in two different parts of the country.
After a while, missing his sons, their father went to a trip to see them. When back home, his wife, who had stayed home, asked him about their kids.
"I went first to Juan. He is quite fine" he said.
"What about Jamal, did you visit him as well?"
"No need. If I've seen Juan, I've seen Jamal"
Three guys are talking about their families (likely a re-post)
Three men - Bob, Joe, and David - are bragging about their families. Bob and Joe are Catholic, and David is m**....
Joe says "I've got four athletic daughters. One more and I'll have a championship basketball team."
Bob responds "I've got eight athletic sons. One more and I'll have an all-Anerican baseball team."
David answers "I've got five beautiful wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."
Morris Schwartz is dying and on his deathbed.
He is surrounded by his nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them:
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"h**..., I want you to take the offices over in City Center."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says to the wife, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated so much property."
Sarah replies, "Property shmoperty...the s**... had a newspaper route."
Morning Jew
Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. "So", he says to them:
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"h**..., I want you to take the offices over in City Centre."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says , "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property".
Sarah replies, "Property? The s**... had a paper round!"
3 jewish moms
3 moms are talking about their sons:
The first one says "my son is so rich that he can buy Paris!", the second one answers "are you kidding me? Mine is so rich that he can buy Paris AND New York!", the third one looks at them and seems surprised, then she says: "and what makes you think my son wants to sell???"
Why do Jewish fathers
have their sons circumcised?
They know Jewish women can't resist anything with 10% off.
What's your favorite dirty joke?
Mine is: Wht do Jewish men have their sons circumsised? Because they know Jewish women can't resist anything 10% off.
The sons of Superman, Flash and John are chatting...
Superman's sons says, "my dad travels the fastest, he doesnt care about traffic and returns home from work in a matter of minutes."
Flash's son says, "Nah, dude, my dad travels at the speed of light, the moment he finishes work, he's home."
John's sons says, "Please, my dad's shift ends at 5, he's home watching TV at 4:30 already"
Four old guys go golfing...
And they start bragging about their sons.
The first says "My son is a lawyer, and he is doing so well, he just gave his friend a new car!"
The second says "My son is a doctor, and he is doing so well he just bought his friend a new boat!"
The third guy says "My son is an executive, and he is doing so well he just bought his friend a new house!"
The fourth guy says "Well, my son is a stripper at a gay club, but he must be doing pretty well because he just got a new car, a new boat, and a new house..."
help me figure out this riddle!
a farmer has 2 sons. one is a "good boy" and the other is "a bump on a log". the farmer takes his cow into town and sells it to a butcher. then he goes to a watchmaker and buys a watch. WHO DOES HE GIVE THE WATCH TO?
this is some dutch riddle, so the "" are translated words
A Jewish guy goes to his Rabbi
A Jewish guy goes to his Rabbi and says: "RABBI RABBI! you're not going to believe what happened to me! My son turned Christian and left the house!"
The Rabbi says: "Well, you're not going to believe what happened to me! MY son turned Christian and Left the house."
"Well, what are we going to do?!" Asked the man.
"Let's pray to God and ask him for advice" the Rabbi answers.
They both look up and say: "God, God, you're not going to believe what happened to us! Both our sons turned Christian and left the house"
God responds: "well, you're not going to believe what happened to ME!"
I married a French girl and had three sons
We named our first son Antoine.
We named our second son Anteux.
We named our third son Antthree.
A stormtrooper sits down to have dinner with his family...
His son asks him "dad what is this we are eating?"
The stromtrooper replies "Baby wookie steaks. How is it?"
His sons says "It's a little chewy."
My first drink with my son
I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first drink.
Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.
I got him a Miller Genuine. He didn't like it – so I drank it.
Then I got him a Fosters, he didn't like it either, so I drank it.
It was the same with the Coors and the Bud.
By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey,
I could hardly push the stroller back home.
The three fathers
A jew, a turkish and a german guy are all waiting in the hospital, while their wifes are giving birth to their sons.
Through a mistake in the hospital, the three babies get confused and none of them knows which one is his.
The german guy says: "No problem dudes, I got this" and walks into the room with the babies.
Three minutes later, every father is holding his son in hands. The other two ask: "How did you do that!?"
"Easy", said the german, "I came in and yelled 'Heil h**...!'. My son raised his arm, the jew s**... himself and the turk cleaned it up."
My sons joke - if you've a cricket ball in one hand, and a cricket ball in the other hand. What have you got?
A big cricket.
10yr old sons joke: Why was "C" afraid of all the other letters ?
They are all "Not-C's" !
Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom..
Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom.
The other three guys start talking about how succesful their sons are.
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a cardealership and just gave his best friend a Ferarri.
Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son owns an airliner and just gave his best friend a private jet
Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a castle
Guy 4 walks out of the bathroom and walks over to the other 3 guys
Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about
Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are
Guy 4:Well, my son is a Gay stripper
Guy 2: You must be so dissappointed with what he's done with his life
Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a Ferrari, a jet, and a caste from his three boyfriends.
What did the Mexican man name his 2 sons?
José & Josb.
My brother volunteered to perform my sons circumcision
But I could never force kin to do that.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are drinking in a bar...
-You know - says the Englishman - I have 10 sons. That is almost a soccer team.
-That's nothing. - says the Irishman - I have 14 sons. That is almost a rugby team.
-Well - says the Scotsman - I have 17 daughters. That is almost a golf course.
A baby fettuccine was scared of the dark...
He ran to his dad. His dad went to his sons room with a flashlight. he looked under the bed, saw nothing and said, "see, buddy? there's nothing to be alfredo."
A Jew, a Catholic, and a m**... are drinking together.
The Jew boasts about his fertility
"I have 4 sons; one more and I'll have a basketball team!"
"That's nothing," says the Catholic, "I have 10 sons! I almost have a football team!"
The Jew and Catholic looked expectantly at the m**.... "Well?"
"I have 17 wives. I almost have a golf course!"
A man wanted to teach his sons the evils of alcohol
So he takes out two glasses. Fills one with bourbon and one with water.
He puts A worm in the bourbon and a worm in the water. Worm in the water lives, worm in the bourbon dies.
He turns to his son and say "now what does that teach you about the evils of alcohol?"
His son thought about it for a second and says "well if I drink bourbon I won't get worms"
-my dad tells this one to at least one person every time he goes into a liquor store-
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
José and Josb
I hate being the only drunk person at the party
It totally ruined my sons 6th birthday!
A father has 4 sons in his house. 3 have a PhD, but one is a robber. Why won't he kick out the robber?
Because he's the only one making money
An Irishman's First Drink With His Son
I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back to the time I took my son out for his first drink.
Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.
I got him a Guinness Stout. He didn't like it - so I drank it.
Then I got him an Old Style. He didn't like it either, so I drank it.
It was the same with the Coors and the Bud.
By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey . . .
I could hardly push his stroller back home.
A mom walks into her sons room to get him up for church..
She says to the son, "Get up its time for church."
The son rolls over and says so his mom, "I'm not going to church and I'll tell you three reasons why. 1) I don't like the people 2) The people don't like me and 3) I don't want to go."
The mother responds," You ARE going to church and I'll tell you three reasons why. 1) You're a Christian, you have to go even when you don't want to. 2) You're 42 years old. And 3) You're the priest."
A man passes away...
A man passes away and his f**... is set to be held in his hometown where one of his sons lives. The other, a wealthy businessman, unfortunately can't make it to the ceremony so instead he offers to pay for the entire thing. A few months later, the businessman is looking over his finances and notices a recurring bill of $120 a month. Confused, he called up his brother and asks him if he knows anything about it.
"Oh yeah" the brother replies. "Dad always wanted to go out in style so we rented him a tuxedo"
A Jewish guy, a Catholic guy and a m**... are having dinner together...
...and they are bragging about their families.
"My wife and I have 4 strapping young boys" says the Jewish man. "If we have one more, we would have our own basketball team."
"Well, good for you" says the Catholic. "But we have 10 healthy sons. If we would have one more we would have our own football team."
"That's nothing" says the m**.... "I have 17 wives. If I have one more I would have my own golf course."
Old man dies
In his f**..., the priest starts to speak and pays homage to the deceased: "He was a loving man, a devout Christian, a good husband, he raised two wonderful sons..."
The widow turns to her son and tells him discretly: "Go up there take a look at the coffin and make sure it's your dad."
A woman had five sons.
A woman had five sons: Alex, Bill, Chad, Doug, and Eric. One day, the woman gets a phone call from the hospital. The doctor says, "I'm so sorry to tell you this, but your son was in a car accident and broke his leg."
"Oh no!" She responds, "Which one?"
The doctor answers, "The left leg."
Kids walks in on parents having s**...
A kid walks by his parents room and sees his parents having s**.... The dad notices his son standing there so he just winks and keeps on going. The next day the dad walks by his sons room and sees his son plowing into grandma. The kids turns to his dad and says " not so funny when it's your mom is it?"
Four older men are bragging about their sons
The first says, "My son is a bishop, and when he enters the room people say, Your Excellency".
The second says, "My son is an archbishop, and when he enters the room people say, Your Grace".
The third says, "My son is a cardinal, and when he enters the room people say, Your Eminence".
"My son is 7 feet tall, and 500 pounds," says the fourth man.
"And when he enter the room, people say, 'My God!'"
...told by my parish priest.
I have 10 sons and 2 daughters, and I gave the same name to all of them, Jamie...
...It's quite practical, she said, if I need to wake them up I just shout "wake up Jamie!". If I need them to eat I just say "Jamie! Dear, dinner is ready!". They all obey simultaneously.
The interviewer asks "So how do you refer to them when you need to speak to one of them specifically?"
Easy - she replied - I call them by their lastname!
My three sons are gonna hate me...
once I name them Prescott, Scott, and Postscott
Mom finds a large number of b**... magazines beneath her sons bed.
Calls her husband up to the room to show him and discuss.
"What do you think we should do?" she asks.
Father frowns and responds "Well I guess spanking him is out of the question"
There's two things I don't like about my sons new partner.
He's black
A Jew, a Catholic and a m**... were having drinks at the bar following an interfaith meeting...
The Jew, bragging on his virility, said, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team."
The Catholic, pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, "That's nothing, boy. I have 10 sons, one more and I'll have a football team."
To which the m**... replied, "You fellas ain't got a clue. I have 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."
What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?
Josè and Hoseb
My dad was trembling when I told him me and my brother had gotten hired as valets.
I guess he really didn't like the idea of having parking sons.
Mother has four sons joke
The older three sons are blonde with light skin. The youngest is a brunette with darker skin.
The husband is laying on his deathbed. He turns to his wife and asks "honey, I need to know... is our youngest really my son?"
The wife responds: "yes dear, of course, I swear to god with all my heart!"
Reassured, the husband then passes away peacefully. The wife huffed a breath of relief and then muttered "thank god he didn't ask about the other three"
m**... = Blindness
A man walks into his sons room and says, " You know, m**... will cause blindness."
The son looks at him and says, "Dad. I'm over here."
Educated Sons
1st son : Degree in Economics.
2nd son: MBA.
3rd son : PhD
4th son : Thief
Neighbour: Why can't you throw the
4th son out of your house?
Father : He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.
A man had four sons from different mothers Brodwel,Kenneth,Conrad & Dominic
Now these guys asked their father why he gave em those names,n what do they mean?
The father replied:
Take the first three letters of your names and join em together you will find the answer
I met a woman with 8 sons named Joe...
I met a woman with 8 sons named Joe;
I said, "They're all named Joe?"
She said "Yeah it's great! When it's time for dinner I just have to yell "Joe! Dinner!" and they all come running.
I said, "but what do you do if you just want one of them?"
She said, "Oh then I just use their last name."
A hunter went out on a hunting trip. He took his sons cigarettes by mistake.
He had an excellent day. He shot 2 bucks, a boar, a black bear, and a unicorn.
George's son
George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son.
The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to
the boy, and the father replies: "Euro."
The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency.
Says George: "What? There weren't any objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank."
It was very difficult to switch off my wife's life support system.
You try fighting off 2 nurses, a doctor and my sons.
Four women are bragging about there sons
The first one says "mine is a priest and everyone who sees him says oh my father"
The second woman decides to one up the first and says "so what my sons a cardinal and whenever anyone sees him they say oh holy father
The third one says "my sons the pope and anyone who sees him says oh holy one"
The fourth and last woman thinks for a while before saying "my son is 6'8 and weighs 600 pounds and anyone who's ever seen him says oh my god
A woman from the ghetto is in the grocery store with a whole crew of kids...
She yells out, "Billy!" and nine boys come running and line up by the door.
A passer-by laughs to himself and asks, "Did you name all your sons Billy?"
"Yup. Makes calling them for dinner a lot easier."
"What happens when you only need to talk to one of them?"
"Then I just call them by their last name."
An old man is about to die.
While he is laying in his bed waiting to die, he said to his sons ( a rich musician, a rich doctor and a lawyer ) : When i die i want you to put in my coffin 5K $ each for my after life.
One week later the old man dies.
At his f**... the musician came and put 5k $ in his dads coffin while he's crying.
The doctor did the same thing , he left 5k $ and left crying.
Finally, the lawyer took the 10k $ and left a check with 15k$ and said : thank you dad.
Woman: I need a couple balloons of Eminem for my sons birthday, it's in an hour.
Worker: so you're telling me... I only got one shot?
There was a lady with 3 sons, named Rain, Snow and Brick
Rain asked his mom, Why is my name 'Rain'?
Because a raindrop fell on your head when you were born.
Then Snow asked his mom, Why is my name 'Snow'?
Because a snowflake fell on your head when you were born.
Then Brick asked his mom, NYANYANYANYA
A father named his sons Rose and Fridge
One day Rose asked his dad:- why did you call me like that? Her father answered that when she was born a rose petal fell on her forehead. Then fridge came and asked his father: BLUAEHHUEHUEHAWHAW?
i**... and Mikey
There was a father and two sons. The sons were called i**... and Mikey.
They stayed in their apartment while their dad went to the store. Unfortunately, their dad forgot the keys to his car. He shouted to i**..., "Throw my key out of the window!"
And then i**... threw his brother out of the window.
I will never forget my sons first words he said to me...
Why did you never see me for sixteen years Dad?
A father has two sons named Joe and Mikey and the live on the third floor of their apartment.
One day the father goes to store, but leaves the key to his car in the apartment. He see's Joe in the window and shouts to him, "throw my key out the window!"
Sadly, Mikey didn't survive the fall
3 men in a bar talking about there sons
The first man says my son is doing so well he just got a job as a doctor and just bought his girlfriend a new car.
The next man says my son is an engineer and he just took his girlfriend to the Bahamas.
The third guy says my son is a male stripper. One of his boyfriends just bought him a car and went to the Bahamas with the other one.
Dad walk into his sons room...
So a Dad walks into his sons room and says "Son, If you don't stop m**... you're gonna go blind."
The son looks up and says "Dad, I'm over here!"
My 3 sons placed 1st, 2nd and 3rd in a talent contest judged by Lee Kun-hee
Jake juggled, Daniel danced and Sam sung
If everyone spells your sons name wrong...
Then you spelled your sons name wrong
A fireman has two sons. He named the first one Jose. What did he name the second?
Hose B
If Kim Jong Un named his son Kim Jong
Then his sons full name would be Kim Jong Deux
Three Christian mothers are having afternoon tea and boast about their sons.
The first mother says, "My son is the worship band leader. When he walks past the congregation, they go:
'Oh worship leader! Oh worship leader!'"
"Wow, that's great!" they exclaim.
Not to be outdone, the second mother adds, "Well, MY son is the pastor. When he walks past the church, they go:
'Oh pastor! Oh pastor!'"
The other two shout, "Oh my, how impressive!"
The third mother is beaming with pride and says, "Well, MY son is 4 feet tall and 800 pounds. When he walks past the church, they go:
'MY GOD!'"
George Foreman really likes the name George . In fact, he named all his sons George Foreman .
He even used the name when he had a little grill.
A woman had five sons.
She named them Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone and Tyrone.
How did she tell them apart?
She just called them by their last names.
Red head
Anxious new father: "Doctor, doctor, I'm so worried... Both my wife and I have black hair but our sons just been born with red hair. Do you think something funny had been going on?"
Doctor: "Not necessarily, how many times do you have s**...?"
Father: "About 5 times a year"
Doctor: "Well there's your answer then, you're just a little rusty"
So a dad and his son go into a bar...
His son is literally only a head (doesn't need vital organs to live in this joke)
Sons birthday so the dad buys him a shot
Son takes shot and boom he becomes a full bodied functional man
Dad is so happy he says shots all around
The son takes another shot and dies
Dad is now crying hysterically
Bartender says
Kid should've stopped while he was ahead.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
A father had promised his two young sons he would take them on a fishing trip
The boys were digging for fishing bait in their parents' garden. Uncovering a many legged creature, one of the boys proudly dangled it before his Father.
"No, son, he won't do for bait" his Father said. "He's not an earthworm".
"He's not?" the boy asked, his eyes wide. "What planet is he from?"
A father of 3 and one of his sons were cooking pizza
They put the pizza in the oven and waited
When the timer went off, the father went to pull it out when the son said Let me pull it out.
The father then said You shouldn't, it's really hot.
The son replied Dad, you have 3 children, I don't trust you to pull out.
