The Best 7 Sonofabitch Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sonofabitch jokes. There are some sonofabitch shithead jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sonofabitch goddammit puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sonofabitch Jokes and Puns

My wife told me she's having an affair

I said "well, actually I am too."

She said "it's with your best friend, John"


A Chinese man stumbles home late one night really drunk...

Seeing his wife at the top of the stairs he says "hey baby how about a little number 69!"

The wife replies, "you drunk sonofabitch, make your own Mongolian Beef Stew!"

A blonde goes to the doctors and both of her ears are red...

The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears?
She replies, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to your other ear?"
"The son-of-a-bitch called back."

An American, Englishman, and an Irishman all have mugs of beer in front of them.

It's discovered that all three mugs each have one housefly in them. The American takes the fly out and drinks his beer. The Englishman explains the situation to the bartender and asks for a new beer. The Irishman picks the fly up by its wings and goes, "Spit it out, ya sonofabitch!"

"That 'Hanglider' bird is a tough sonofabitch..."

"... I had to shoot it 5 times before he let the man go"

A three-legged dog sits down at the bar

Orders a whiskey. Bartender asks,"What brings you to these parts?"

Dog responds,"Lookin for the sonofabitch who shot my paw.'

In response to the "How do you starve a black person" joke. I like my coffee like I like my slaves.

Free, you racist son-of-a-bitch!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sonofabitch viciously jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sonofabitch bastard piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes