The Best 93 Song Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Song jokes. There are some song hymn jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these song lyric puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Song Jokes and Puns
A man and wife went to a new dance club...
The first song was "The Twist," so they did the twist.
The second song was "The Monster Mash," so they did the monster mash.
The third song was "Come on, Eileen." They were thrown out.
Anyone else hear the new Whitney Houston song they just released?
No? Well it's very underground right now.
What happens if you play a country song backward?
You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up.
A man goes to the doctor ...
... and says "Doctor, I'm having a really strange problem. I can't get the song *What's New, Pussycat* out of my head.
Doctor says, "Well, it sounds like you may have Tom Jones' Disease."
The man opens his eyes wide. "I never heard of that before," he said. "Is it rare?"
Doctor shakes his head. "It's not unusual."
So I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar...
and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.
If I had a dollar for everytime I heard someone sing a Macklemore song out loud...
...I would have 20 dollars in my pocket
An observation by Adam Hills
"I have a slight theory as to why there's such a high percentage of obesity in America as compared to the rest of the world. I think it's because in 1984, a group of English and Irish musicians got together and put out a song that told us to 'feed the world'.
And then a year later, a group of American singers told us, 'We Are the World'"
What is Popeye's favorite Led Zeppelin song?
Olive My Love
How many native Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
About seven. One to change the bulb, six to sing the song.
Patient asks his doctor...
A patient asks his doctor, "If I gave up women, wine, and song, would I live longer?" The doctor replies, "No, but it will feel longer."
Song you sing to your dad on Father's Day?
Glad You Came.
You can explore song band reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean song album dad jokes. There are also song puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
So apparently Justin Timberlake is going to write a song for all the people that have been devastated by the crisis in Ukraine.
It's going to be called 'Crimea River'.
What happens when you play a country song backwards?
You get your girl back, you get your truck back, you may even get your dog back.
A guy goes to see his doctor...
He says to his doctor:
>Man: "Doctor, I can't get that song "She's a Lady" out of my head... I keep singing it over and over, but it just won't go away...."
>Doctor: "Hmmm.... sounds like a case of Tom Jones Syndrome."
>Man: "Oh no.... Is it serious?"
>Doctor: "Well, it's not unusual."
So I decided to write a song about tortillas...
Well, it's actually more of a wrap.
A misunderstanding
A girl is driving down the highway listening to the radio when a song comes on that she really, really likes. The DJ says the name of that song was "Hot lips and tender kisses." The girl says to herself I've got to buy that record. She pulls over and looks up the phone number for the nearest record store. She dials the number but makes a mistake while dialing and instead of calling a record store she has called an auto mechanic. The phone rings and the mechanic picks up the phone. The girl says, excitedly, "Do you have hot lips and tender kisses?" The mechanic is a little confused, but responds, "No, but I've got hot pants and seven inches." The girl responds, "Is that a record?" The mechanic says, "No, but it's better than average."
I have a rather unique talent. You can give me any girl's name and I know a song for that name.
Try me!
A Mongolian man tells his friend a story
When I came home late last night, I found my wife with another man. I was furious, and to hold myself back, I sat down and drank from a bottle that was left on the table. Then, I sang a song to cheer myself up. When I felt a little better, I looked around, and said to myself, 'Shit, this isn't my house,'.
My son asked me what it was like to be married
I deleted all the music off his iPod except one song.
Why does Shang Tsung always enjoy a religious song from Finland?
Because it's a Finnish hymn.
What is that number 1 song coming out of the middle east?
My black flag brings all the goats to the yard,
and they're like like "allahu akbar",
watch out, I'll put a bomb in your car,
I'd teach you, but I lost my arms
Dear JUSTIN BEIBER haters...
Dear JUSTIN BEIBER haters*
.
.
.
I owe my life to justin.
On march 9th, 2012 I was in a coma for 6 months after a terrible car crash.
One day my nurse turned the radio to Justin's song, So I got up and turned the radio off.
When an artist covers another artist's song, it's flattering. When a comedian tells another comedian's joke, it's
Carlos Mencia
Muslim Band
I went to see a Muslim Tribute band last night at a Mosque.
They were called "Bomb Jovi" and I thought they were brilliant.
They performed songs like:
"Losing my Head over You",
"Rocket Launcher Man",
"You're Six, you're Beautiful, and you're Mine".
Their last song "Living on a Prayer Mat" almost brought the house down!
Then I heard this Muslim guy saying he had the entire Koran on a DVD.
I was interested, so I asked him, "Can you burn me a copy?"
Well that was when the trouble started.
I wrote a song about a coal digger having sex with a 15 year old.
I call it 'A Miner in a Minor' in A minor.
Why should we hire the chickpeas to be part of our choir?
They could hummus a song!
(I was really proud of this one.)
I love the way Pitbull says "Mr.World Wide" at the start of a song.
Because it gives me time to change the station.
Every N.W.A song
Verse 1: Sellin' crack rocks and shootin' muthafuckas!
Verse 2: Police pull me over just 'cause I'm brown.
What's the best song for a threesome
You've got a friend in me.
Last request...
A blindfolded man is about to be put to death by firing squad. The general walks up to him and asks if he has a last request.
"I would like to sing the song of my people one last time."
The general agrees and takes a step back.
"One million bottles of beer on the wall! One million bottles of beer!"
iPod Shuffle
Today, I was playing my iPod on shuffle. The song, "This is Not the End" by The Bravery came on. The next song was "This is the End" by She Wants Revenge. It was followed by "The End." by My Chemical Romance. As soon as the songs finished, the battery promptly died. I think my iPod left a suicide note.
How do you know Justin Bieber is Canadian?
Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.
My life is just like Rihanna's new song.
Work work work work work and the rest I can't really understand!
Which chord is essential to every Christian song?
Gsus
I made a song about a tortilla
Actually it's more of a wrap.
Congratulations to Ukraine to winning the Eurovision Song Contest.
Can't wait for Russia to host it next year.
I can fit the lyrics of the song 'Uptown Funk' into any conversation that I have...
Don't believe me? Just watch!
Rick Astley's releasing a new song lamenting the 'Brexit' result...
It's titled:
Never Gonna Give EU Up
I'm writing a song about getting my front door lock replaced.
There's a lovely key change at the end.
Last request
The inmate on death row is scheduled to be put to death by firing squad. He doesn't request a last meal or anything special for his last day.
As he stands before the firing squad he says, "Actually, music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."
The guard nods solemnly and tells him to go ahead.
The inmate starts, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall... ."
The iPhone 7 ad has a catchy song...
Hit the road Jack
A grave digger...
A grave digger hears a story about how Mozart had an unfinished song folded up in his coat pocket when he was buried.
The grave digger goes to the cemetery where Mozart was buried, and starts digging at the composer's grave.
The grave digger hits the coffin.
The grave digger opens the coffin, and sees Mozart holding the unfinished piece, and erasing each note on at a time.
The grave digger yells, "What are you doing?!"
Mozart responds with, "Decomposing."
What is Putin's favorite Justin Timberlake song?
Crimea River...
What do you call a bird who never remembers song lyrics?
A hummingbird
My husband surprised me last night with a sexy time playlist
Needless to say, there was only one song.
What is Putins favorite song to play for Ukraine?
Crimea-River
A man goes to jail.
A man was sentenced to death. By tradition, the man can request one last meal
"So what will it Be?" the executioner asked
"Instead of food, can I request to sing one last song? But you must let me finish the song"
Confused by this, the executioner agreed to let the man sing
The man begins "1,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall..."
I got slapped at the club the other day
I went dancing at a local club, hoping to get a little action since it's been a while. I met this gorgeous girl and asked her to dance, a little emboldened by the alcohol. After the first song with her body so close to mine, she leans in and says "You smell good! Whatcha got on?"
I said, "Well, I have a hard-on but I didn't know you could smell it."
With the rise of self-driving vehicles...
With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too
My wife's favorite song is "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers. She says so every time it's on the radio.
I reply "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know..."
What do you call a religious song from Helsinki that describes the end of a Mortal Kombat match?
A Finnish Hymn
What do you call a song with a Chris Brown feature?
An instant hit.
I've just written a song about tortillas
Actually, it's more of a rap.
I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Well it's actually more like a wrap.
Prisoner's Christmas Song
*You better watch out*
*You better not cry*
*You better not pout*
*I'm going in dry*
With the rise of self driving vehicles,
we shall soon hear a country song about a guy's truck leaving him too.
What song do friends with benefits usually play?
You've got a friend in me.
Why did the ants wait until the bear's favourite song came on before stealing his jelly?
Because nobody would understand what was going on when he yelled "YO! THAT'S MY JAM!"
How is it called in Australia, when they need to restart the song from the beginning at the club?
A DJ redo.
Whys was the internet so obsessed with the song "Cotton-Eyed Joe" for a short period of time?
I mean, where did it come from where did it go?
People think listening to a really great song and having an eargasm is great
Thats until you get hearing aids
I got kicked out of my aunt's funeral for singing a song...
It was the Pink Panther theme. Dead aunt, dead aunt, dead aunt dead aunt dead aunt...
Guy calls in on radio show
**Guy**: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'
**Host**: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?
**Guy**: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan
Now that vehicles are driving themselves...
It won't be long until a country singer writes a song about their truck leaving them too.
Did you hear about the musician who played through the silent part of a song?
He was charged with resisting a rest
What's the official song of the Anti Vaxx movement?
Down With the Sickness
It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green.
That would've been sublime.
Last Request
Two convicts who were about to be executed, The warden says to the first one, 'Do you have a last request?'
The convict says, 'Yes, I'd like to hear the song Achy Breaky Heart one last time.'The Warden says, 'OK, I think we can arrange that.' Then he says to the second convict, 'How about you?' The second convict says, 'Yeah, kill me first.'
Japanese Banking Crisis
Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.
In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while shares in Kamikaze bank were suspended after they nosedived.
Samurai bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja bank is reported to have taken a hit, but it remains in the black.
Furthermore 500 staff at Karate bank got the chop and analysts report there is something fishy going on at Sushi bank where it's feared staff may get a raw deal.
My wife suggested for sex we do something from a song...
Her friend Eileen wasnt to happy about it.
Guy: "I lost my virginity to Barry White."
Girl: "Me, too! What song was it for you?"
Guy: "Song?"
I literally just wrote a song about the Coronavirus, but I will never let anyone hear it.
It's too catchy. It'll be with you for weeks.
Financial collapse in Japan
Origami Bank has folded.
Sumo Bank has gone belly up.
Bonsai Bank has had to cut back some of its branches.
Karaoke Bank has been put up for sale and is going for a song.
There's something fishy going on at Sushi Bank...shareholders are afraid they might get a raw deal.
Kamikaze Bank shares have nose-dived.
500 jobs at Karate Bank have been chopped.
My ex-girlfriend's name is Eileen.
whenever I hear the song "come on Eileen" I can't help but think "I already did"
I love how Pit Bull announces himself at the beginning of every song
giving us time to change the song.
What's Princess Leia's favourite song?
Riding solo - Jason Derulo
I played bass on the original Scooby Doo theme song way back in 1969 and then went on to play with Metallica. AMA!
Fine, I didn't actually play the bass on the Scooby Doo theme song, or in any band for that matter, but I'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for you metaling kids!
An American spy comes into a Soviet bar
And orders a drink.
"No drink for US spies" said the barkeep.
The spy goes pale. He pulls out a bottle of Vodka and drains it in one big gulp.
"You drink like Russian, but you are American spy"
The spy pulls out his accordeon and plays a wonderful Russian folk song, everyone in the bar tearing up, including the barkeep.
"You sing like Russian", he said under tears, "but you are American spy"
He starts dancing the Kozachok, worthy of the Bolshoy dancers.
"You dance like Russian, but you are American spy"
"Ok, you got me. But how do you know?"
"There are no black Russians"
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers
The first boy says, My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.
The second boy says, That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.
The third boy says, I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!
I forgot how much I hated Nickelback until you blasted their song on the radio...
And this is how you remind me?!!!
My daughter made this tonight: What's the favourite song of sloths?
Don't Hurry, Be Happy
I really really want to perform a song for you.
It would be the "I sing on my cake" day.
Justin Timberlake is bad at geography
He sings this song, "Crimea River", but I checked, and Crimea is a peninsula, not a river.
Me: I'm terrified of the song 'I Want it That Way'
Therapist: Tell me why?
Me: **screams**
I just wrote a song about tortillas
Actually it's more of a wrap
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"You know, music can really take you places," he muses to the bartender. "For example, if you guys play one more rap song in here it's going to take me to the next bar."
What happens when you play a country song backwards?
You get:
- your wife back
- your house back
- your truck back
- your dog back
My wife and I are making some artwork in the name of our favourite Bon Jovi song. So far we have the words "Livin' on".
We're half way there.
What song should every person hear before they die?
Happy Birthday
I wrote a song about "sitting on the toilet for a pee, but while I'm here, I might as well have a poo"
It got to number two.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I kept referencing the song One Night in Bangkok for reasons why I didn't want to take a vacation there.
It's just me now and my Thai trope act without Annette.
What is an amputee's least favorite song?
If you're happy and you know it clap your hands
I'm starting to suspect I was cloned from my older brother
All my genes are hand-me-downs
*Adapted from a song by His Royal Weirdness
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the song tune jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working song phone songs piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.