Someone Called Jokes
67 someone called jokes and hilarious someone called puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about someone called that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Someone Called Short Jokes
Short someone called jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The someone called humour may include short phone call jokes also.
- TIL in germany when someone is diagnosed with coeliac disease other coeliacs will chase and try and hit them with bread to make them feel welcomed. It's called gluten tag.
- If I had a dollar for everytime someone called me a boring nerd.. I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25
- PS4/Xbox joke Oh no! Playstation and xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U
- What kind of doctor is always on call? An oncologist!
...
I made this one up last night but I'm sure someone has thought of it before. - Someone called me racist for saying "black paint" Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".
- If someone who speaks three languages is called trilingual and someone who speaks two languages is called bilingual, what do you call someone who speaks only one language? American
- Today someone called my clothes 'gay' "Yeah!" I replied. "They came out of the closet this morning actually!"
- If I had a penny for every time someone called me sexist... I'd probably be earning more than the average woman.
- People shouldn't be shamed for their kinks. Me, I get really turned on when someone smells like musty sweat and coal. But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.
- What would you call someone with the power to heal others but chooses to be evil? The American Healthcare System
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Someone Called One Liners
Which someone called one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with someone called? I can suggest the ones about telephone call and your mom called.
- What do you call someone with both Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes Ambidextrose
- If someone calls you a nobody, just remember Nobody's perfect.
- What do you call someone who contributes nothing to society? A politician.
- What do you call someone with no body and just a nose ? Nobody knows
- What do you call someone who's representing a bike shop? A spokesperson.
- What do you call someone who hates brown rice? Ricist.
- (OC) What do you call helen keller punching someone? Senseless violence.
- What do you call someone who buys and sells shrimps? A prawn broker
- What do you call someone who doesn't like The Simpsons? Homerphobic.
- Once Chuck Norris threw a knife in Call of Duty And killed someone in Battlefield
- I i had a dollar for everytime someone called me mean... I'd be meaner.
- what do you call someone who films spices? A cinnamon-tographer!
- What do you call someone who has to shave 30 times a day? A barber
- What do you call someone who gets paid not to work? A shareholder.
- What do you call someone who only hires male masseurs? A massage-onist.
(OC)
Great Someone Called Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about someone called you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean name calling jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make someone called pranks.
Mom, someone called me gangster at school today.
Mom: Dont worry I'll go tomorrow and solve this problem
Son: Make sure it looks like an accident.
A rather drunk lieutenant formed up the platoon:
"Soldiers, why is the formation so crooked?"
"Because the Earth is round!" - someone called out.
"Who said that?"
"Galileo."
"Galileo, step forward!"
"But he has died long ago!"
"So then?! People here are dying, and no one is reporting this to me?"
*Joke was translated from Bulgarian*
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a feminist...
I would have 77 cents
Source: Male
Oscar Wilde once boasted that he could make a pun on any subject...
Someone called out "The Queen!"
"Ah", replied Wilde, "but the Queen is not a subject."
Why was Vader called Darth vader or Lord vader?
Cause when someone called him master vader all the stormtroopers laughed
What did one doughnut say to the other...
...you look a little glazed
Someone called my call center today to tell a joke I don't think I've ever heard: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me a racist...
I could quit my job at the NYPD
If I had a dollar every time someone called me sexist...
I'd have enough money to sponsor the repealing of the 19th Amendment.
If I had a pound for every time someone called me lazy
I'd have enough money to not need a job
Why did Saint Francis cry?
Someone called him Assisi.
If I had a dollar for everytime someone called me a sexist.
I'd not have to ask for dowry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Someone called me trash, but joke is on them.
I'm an o**... donor, I'm recyclable.
If I had a penny for every time someone called me frugal...
I'd be able to save even more
If I had $1 for every time someone called me inconsistent
I'd have £372.29
Someone called me on the phone and asked me if I wanted satellite radio.
I said, are you Serius ?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man, that gets drunk almost every night, sees his friend while walking.
This one notices that the drunk guy has both ears burned and very injured, so he asks:
"How did it happen?"
The other night my wife left the iron on, then someone called me, and I took accidentally the iron instead of the telephone.
Oh...That s**.... And the left ear?
The idiot called again.
Someone called me immature today.
Guess who isn't allowed in my tree house?
Someone called me a massagenist recently.
I was offended; rubbing backs is a woman's job.
Grandma started obsessively washing her windows several times each week...
...I asked her what's up with that, I mean - they're sparkling clean already, you don't have to do that.
She replied:
Someone called me last week and told me that my windows installation had a serious virus infestation.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me....
I'd still be broke and alone.
Every time someone called me spoiled I felt bad..
that their parents didn't love them.
Someone called me conceited and I don't know what that means...
I think it's probably a compliment for how good I look.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me young...
I could buy a lollipop.
If Nicholas had a dollar for every time someone called him hot,
he wouldn't be called Nicholas.
Game of thrones actors numbers leaked online
Someone called Kit Harrington...
"Hello, who's this?!"
"It's Ben."
"Ben who..?!?"
"Ben-d knee."
Someone called me a horse today...
I just looked at him and said "Nay!"
What would you call someone called Dora who used to be a flower?
Dora the exflora.
If someone called me a nobody but nobody's perfect.
Does that make me perfect?
I was walking up town and saw two turtles get in a fight.
Someone called the cops, and when they showed up they asked the turtles what happened... The turtles said it all happend too fast.
Why was the predecessor to iPhoneX scrapped?
Someone called out iPhoney
Well if I had a dollar for every time someone called me a boring nerd
I'd have enough to create a pretty big hole in the ground.
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a lame gamer…
I would have Darth Vader on Star Wars: Battlefront II
How's that for lame?
Someone called Donald Trump a racist, sexist, homophobic ex-banker
He replied: "actually I used to an entrepreneur"
If I had a quarter every time someone called me poor. .
I'd not be poor
Someone called me and my partner gay for wearing matching clothes
So we arrested him
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Today, someone called me a germophobe.
m**.... I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who shakes hands with someone and then feels the need to wash their feet.
A man was waiting in line to get into Home Depot during the quarantine...
The line stretched pretty far back and he could not see the end from the front of the line. He heard someone behind him yell out "Hey, Dave!" He turned around but only saw a sea of masks and no one looked familiar to him. His turn to enter came and he went inside the store. While pushing his cart up one of the aisles, he heard it again. "Hey, Dave!" Again, he looked around but did not see anyone calling out. Eventually he made his way to the front of the store to make his purchases. Once again someone called out "Hey, Dave!" This time, still not seeing anyone and getting very frustrated, he yelled back "My name's not Dave!"
If someone called O lives in Ohio
Every time someone runs into him, they'll say
"Oh hi O"
If I had a dime for every time someone called me ugly...
If I had a dollar every time someone called me rich...
It wouldn't make any cents.
Someone called me a son of a gun today....
I was triggered! (I'm so sorry)
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me batshit crazy...
...I'd be Hillary Clinton.
If I had a dollar
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me lazy. I would....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I picked up a nickel everytime someone called me racist
I'd be like those jews
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The other day, someone called me an oxymoron.
I was r**... calm.
"Someone called me a butterface today! Is that bad?"
"Well it's *half* a compliment."
