The Best 35 Someone Called Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Someone Called jokes. There are some someone called literally translates jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these someone called commonly referred puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Someone Called Jokes and Puns

I called my wife at work and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" Sounding concerned, she said, "No."



I responded, "How about now?"

If someone calls you Fat, just ignore them.

You are bigger than that!

I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...

But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle

TIL in germany when someone is diagnosed with coeliac disease other coeliacs will chase and try and hit them with bread to make them feel welcomed.

It's called gluten tag.

If I had a dollar for everytime someone called me a boring nerd..

I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25


PS4/Xbox joke

Oh no! Playstation and xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U

A redneck's father passed away in his sleep

So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body.

The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away.

"Where do you live?" asked the operator.

He replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?

There was a long pause and finally he said, "How 'bout if I drag him over to Oak Street and you pick him up there?"

If someone calls you a nobody, just remember

Nobody's perfect.

Poker is like sex

If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand

Edit 1: when you cheat in poker you have a partner

Edit 2: this is getting more upvotes than I thought it would get but before someone calls me out on it. This was a Mae West quote about bridge and several Internet memes put poker instead of bridge because more people play poker than bridge and when you cheat in poker you have partners(the poker strategy is called collusion)

What kind of doctor is always on call?

An oncologist!

...

I made this one up last night but I'm sure someone has thought of it before.

Someone called me racist for saying "black paint"

Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".

You can explore someone called named reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean someone called created dad jokes. There are also someone called puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


If someone who speaks three languages is called trilingual and someone who speaks two languages is called bilingual, what do you call someone who speaks only one language?

American

What do you call someone who helps you learn to fart?

A Tooter (my 9yo daughter made it up)

What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn't a dad?

***A faux pa.***

What do you call someone who contributes nothing to society?

A politician.

What do you call someone with no body and just a nose ?

Nobody knows

Today someone called my clothes 'gay'

"Yeah!" I replied. "They came out of the closet this morning actually!"

What do you call someone who take things literally

A kleptomaniac!

If I had a penny for every time someone called me sexist...

I'd probably be earning more than the average woman.


If someone who speaks 2 languages is Bilingual, whats someone who speaks 1 called?

American.

People shouldn't be shamed for their kinks. Me, I get really turned on when someone smells like musty sweat and coal.

But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.

What would you call someone with the power to heal others but chooses to be evil?

The American Healthcare System

What do you call someone who likes to add numbers when the weather is warm?

A summer

(I thought of this, hope it's original)

A man calls the hotel front desk

"Hello how I may I be of assistance sir?"

"I NEED YOU TO SEND SOMEONE TO MY ROOM RIGHT AWAY."

"Calm down Sir, what seems to be the problem?"

"My wife is trying to jump out of the window..."

"Oh that sounds like a personal matter, I'm afraid we cannot involve ourselves."

"Listen here you smartass, the window isn't opening up and that's a maintenance matter!"

There's a new goth dating app called graveyard.

Instead of liking someone, you dig them.

(putting the romance back in necromance.)

Mom, someone called me gangster at school today.

Mom: Dont worry I'll go tomorrow and solve this problem

Son: Make sure it looks like an accident.

What do you call someone who puts a picture of themselves in a locket?

Independent

Guy calls in on radio show

**Guy**: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'
**Host**: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?
**Guy**: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan

I used to be a telemarketer

I phone up one of my usual numbers and a little boy answers the phone.

"Are you parents home, young man?" I ask.

I hear him drop the phone and burst into tears. I wait a few seconds until someone pick up the phone. An elderly voice at the end of the line barks back at me:

"For the last time, this is an orphanage. PLEASE stop calling."

Plot Twist

A hotel receptionist gets a call*

Man: Hello, I'm in room 210, you need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she's saying that she's going to jump out of the window.

Receptionist: I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal problem. We cannnot help you with that.

Man: Listen you idiot. The window is not opening and that's a MAINTENANCE problem.

[God-awful OC] What do you call someone who lets people rent wifi signals from them?

The lanlord!

If the FBI needs to get into someones's iPhone without permission..

They should just call U2 and ask how they did it

What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?

A private tutor!

What's it called when you backtalk someone so hard they die?

A sassination.

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks three languages is trilingual, what do you call someone who speaks only one language?

American.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the someone called titled jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working someone called based piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes