Someone Called Jokes
82 someone called jokes and hilarious someone called puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about someone called that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Someone Called Short Jokes
Short someone called jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The someone called humour may include short phone call jokes also.
- I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes... But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle
- TIL in germany when someone is diagnosed with coeliac disease other coeliacs will chase and try and hit them with bread to make them feel welcomed. It's called gluten tag.
- If I had a dollar for everytime someone called me a boring nerd.. I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25
- PS4/Xbox joke Oh no! Playstation and xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U
- What kind of doctor is always on call? An oncologist!
...
I made this one up last night but I'm sure someone has thought of it before. - Someone called me racist for saying "black paint" Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".
- If someone who speaks three languages is called trilingual and someone who speaks two languages is called bilingual, what do you call someone who speaks only one language? American
- Today someone called my clothes 'gay' "Yeah!" I replied. "They came out of the closet this morning actually!"
- If I had a penny for every time someone called me sexist... I'd probably be earning more than the average woman.
- If someone who speaks 2 languages is Bilingual, whats someone who speaks 1 called? American.
Share These Someone Called Jokes With Friends
Someone Called One Liners
Which someone called one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with someone called? I can suggest the ones about telephone call and your mom called.
- If someone calls you Fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
- What do you call someone with both Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes Ambidextrose
- If someone calls you a nobody, just remember Nobody's perfect.
- What do you call someone who contributes nothing to society? A politician.
- What do you call someone with no body and just a nose ? Nobody knows
- What do you call someone who take things literally A kleptomaniac!
- What do you call someone who puts a picture of themselves in a locket? Independent
- What's it called when you backtalk someone so hard they die? A sassination.
- What do you call someone who's representing a bike shop? A spokesperson.
- What do you call someone who hates brown rice? Ricist.
- If someone stole a Tesla Would it be called an Edison?
- (OC) What do you call helen keller punching someone? Senseless violence.
- What do you call someone who buys and sells shrimps? A prawn broker
- What do you call someone with no legs doing Karate? Partial Arts.
- What do you call someone who doesn't like The Simpsons? Homerphobic.
Great Someone Called Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about someone called you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean name calling jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make someone called pranks.
Mom, someone called me gangster at school today.
Mom: Dont worry I'll go tomorrow and solve this problem
Son: Make sure it looks like an accident.
I i had a dollar for everytime someone called me mean...
I'd be meaner.
A rather drunk lieutenant formed up the platoon:
"Soldiers, why is the formation so crooked?"
"Because the Earth is round!" - someone called out.
"Who said that?"
"Galileo."
"Galileo, step forward!"
"But he has died long ago!"
"So then?! People here are dying, and no one is reporting this to me?"
*Joke was translated from Bulgarian*
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a feminist...
I would have 77 cents
Source: Male
Someone called me lazy today, I almost replied
Oscar Wilde once boasted that he could make a pun on any subject...
Someone called out "The Queen!"
"Ah", replied Wilde, "but the Queen is not a subject."
Xbox one and PS4 got into a brutal fight, someone called an ambulance
Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U
Someone called me and sneezed and then ended the call
I'm tired of all these cold calls!
Why was Vader called Darth vader or Lord vader?
Cause when someone called him master vader all the stormtroopers laughed
Someone called me a son of a gun the other day
So I shot them with my dad.
What did one doughnut say to the other...
...you look a little glazed
Someone called my call center today to tell a joke I don't think I've ever heard: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me a racist...
I could quit my job at the NYPD
If I had a dollar every time someone called me sexist...
I'd have enough money to sponsor the repealing of the 19th Amendment.
If I had a pound for every time someone called me lazy
I'd have enough money to not need a job
Someone called my shirt gay today...
True. It just came out of the closet today.
Someone called me lazy today...
I almost responded.
Someone called me pretentious today.
I nearly choked on my honey-cardamom latte.
Why did Saint Francis cry?
Someone called him Assisi.
If I had a dollar for everytime someone called me a sexist.
I'd not have to ask for dowry.
Someone called me trash, but joke is on them.
I'm an o**... donor, I'm recyclable.
If I had a penny for every time someone called me frugal...
I'd be able to save even more
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a racist
I'd have so much cash on me I'd probably get mugged by a black man.
If I had $1 for every time someone called me inconsistent
I'd have £372.29
Someone called me on the phone and asked me if I wanted satellite radio.
I said, are you Serius ?
A man, that gets drunk almost every night, sees his friend while walking.
This one notices that the drunk guy has both ears burned and very injured, so he asks:
"How did it happen?"
The other night my wife left the iron on, then someone called me, and I took accidentally the iron instead of the telephone.
Oh...That s**.... And the left ear?
The idiot called again.
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me handsome, I'd have exactly 1 dollar...
Thanks mom!
Someone called me immature today.
Guess who isn't allowed in my tree house?
Someone called me a massagenist recently.
I was offended; rubbing backs is a woman's job.
Grandma started obsessively washing her windows several times each week...
...I asked her what's up with that, I mean - they're sparkling clean already, you don't have to do that.
She replied:
Someone called me last week and told me that my windows installation had a serious virus infestation.
Someone called me pretty today.
Well the actual phrase was "you are pretty dumb" but Im focusing on the positive today.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me....
I'd still be broke and alone.
Every time someone called me spoiled I felt bad..
that their parents didn't love them.
Why did the raisin go to jail
Someone called grape.
Someone called me conceited and I don't know what that means...
I think it's probably a compliment for how good I look.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me young...
I could buy a lollipop.
If Nicholas had a dollar for every time someone called him hot,
he wouldn't be called Nicholas.
Game of thrones actors numbers leaked online
Someone called Kit Harrington...
"Hello, who's this?!"
"It's Ben."
"Ben who..?!?"
"Ben-d knee."
Someone called me a horse today...
I just looked at him and said "Nay!"
What would you call someone called Dora who used to be a flower?
Dora the exflora.
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me handsome...
I would have one dollar.
Thank you Grandma!
If someone called me a nobody but nobody's perfect.
Does that make me perfect?
I was walking up town and saw two turtles get in a fight.
Someone called the cops, and when they showed up they asked the turtles what happened... The turtles said it all happend too fast.
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me s**...,
I would have... one, two... three... fi- g**...!
One...
Why was the predecessor to iPhoneX scrapped?
Someone called out iPhoney
Well if I had a dollar for every time someone called me a boring nerd
I'd have enough to create a pretty big hole in the ground.
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a lame gamer…
I would have Darth Vader on Star Wars: Battlefront II
How's that for lame?
Someone called Donald Trump a racist, sexist, homophobic ex-banker
He replied: "actually I used to an entrepreneur"
If I had a nickel for each time someone called me s**...,
I'd have 12.43$
If I had a quarter every time someone called me poor. .
I'd not be poor
Someone called me and my partner gay for wearing matching clothes
So we arrested him
Today, someone called me a germophobe.
m**.... I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who shakes hands with someone and then feels the need to wash their feet.
A man was waiting in line to get into Home Depot during the quarantine...
The line stretched pretty far back and he could not see the end from the front of the line. He heard someone behind him yell out "Hey, Dave!" He turned around but only saw a sea of masks and no one looked familiar to him. His turn to enter came and he went inside the store. While pushing his cart up one of the aisles, he heard it again. "Hey, Dave!" Again, he looked around but did not see anyone calling out. Eventually he made his way to the front of the store to make his purchases. Once again someone called out "Hey, Dave!" This time, still not seeing anyone and getting very frustrated, he yelled back "My name's not Dave!"
If someone called O lives in Ohio
Every time someone runs into him, they'll say
"Oh hi O"
If I had a dime for every time someone called me ugly...
If I had a dollar every time someone called me rich...
It wouldn't make any cents.
Someone called me a son of a gun today....
I was triggered! (I'm so sorry)
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me batshit crazy...
...I'd be Hillary Clinton.
If I had a dollar
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me lazy. I would....
If I picked up a nickel everytime someone called me racist
I'd be like those jews
The other day, someone called me an oxymoron.
I was r**... calm.
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me s**......
I'd have about tree fiddy.
"Someone called me a butterface today! Is that bad?"
"Well it's *half* a compliment."
