The Best 52 Someday Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Someday jokes. There are some someday catastrophic jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these someday don puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Someday Jokes and Puns

Someday I'll open a store that specializes in bedside furniture. The name of the store will be "One"

I figure it'll be the only way I'll ever have a "One nightstand."

What did the commitment averse monster truck announcer say to his girlfriend when she asked him, "When are you going to finally ask me to marry you?"


Someday I want to write a book titled "The most erogenous spelling errors".


Someday joke, Someday I want to write a book titled "The most erogenous spelling errors".

What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

Both have a 1 in 2 millon chance of being a person someday.

My father would always tell me, "Son, someday you will go far..."

"and I hope to God that you stay there."

What did the website say to the Google bot after their breakup?

I knew you'd come crawling back to me someday.

What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?

Someday my prints will come.

Someday joke, What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?

The Love for music!

If someday we all go to prison for downloading music, I hope they split us by music genre.

Someday when I am a parent, I will not vaccinate my kids...

I'll get a doctor to do it instead.

I'm calling it now: I'm going to discover the cure for blindness and make billions of dollars someday.

You'll all see.

I know I'll have a smoking hot body someday.

Unless they decide to bury me, that is.

You can explore someday advisor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean someday baron dad jokes. There are also someday puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I want to be a father someday

But my son says I should start now

A JokeExplainBot walks into a bar...

The bartender says "Hey! We don't serve robots in here."

The JokeExplainBot replies menacingly, "Oh, you will... Someday, you will."

My daughter asked if I am going to die someday

I said "Don't worry sweetheart. I promise I'll be alive for the rest of my life."

She looked relieved.

The other day, I ran into an old buddy of mine...

He said to me, "This company isn't grand enough for a man like me... Someday, I'll show them and quit!"

I replied "Look, can I just get fries with that?"

The pretty teacher was concerned with

one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"

"I'm in love." the boy replied.

Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"

"With you!" he said.

"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."

"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a condom!"

Someday joke, The pretty teacher was concerned with

A man is about to have surgery...

The surgeon says : Don't worry I've done this operation hundreds of times.

The man responds: That's sounds reassuring.

The surgeon then says: Yeah, I have to succeed someday.

My mommy told me I would grow up to be a big tiger someday...

She was lion.

My 11-year-old grandson spent a beautiful

My 11-year-old grandson spent â€Ļa beautiful Saturday playing video games. His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, Someday, you're going to be 30 years old, single, and living in Mom's basement playing video games all day!

His reply: I can only dream.

Someday, my prince will come.

I hope it's soon, my arm's tired.

As a purple faced man I long to meet a purple faced woman someday...

Don't hold your breath

If we can put a man on the moon,

we can put a man with AIDS on the moon. And then someday, we can put everyone with AIDS on the moon.

the hearse is my dream car someday

You could even say I'm dying to get into it

Someday, I will make a great dad....

I don't have any parenting experience, but I *can* tell terrible jokes.

How was school today?

Mom: Hi sweetie! How was school today?

Child: Alright I guess...The teacher said I could be President someday.

Mom: (*whispering to dad*) None of the other kids like him.

I hope that someday we can live in a world without plagiarism.

You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one.

An old Hitler joke

Some time ago, a medium contacted Hitler's spirit by accident. Out of curiosity, he decided to listen to what Hitler had to say.

"Listen to my words, you little brat: I'm gonna reincarnate someday, and I'm gonna kill six million Jews and two dogs".

"Why the two dogs?" the medium replied.

"See, nobody cares about the Jews!"

There are two kinds of people in this world, the kind that keep their inbox at zero...

and the kind that want to run for president someday.

When I was a little boy, my dad taught me that any little boy or girl, even me, could grow up and become President someday...

I'm starting to believe him.

Maybe someday masturbating will be like showering.

Your first time is with your dad.

How can you ensure you visit outer space someday?


Why do you practice basketball everyday, son?

Why do you practice basketball everyday, son? the Father Nebula asked his son, Little Nebula, when he saw him dribbling a ball.

Because I want to be a superstar someday, Dad, Little Nebula replied.

Im proud of you, son. Father Nebula hugged his child.

What did Snow White say when the printer jammed?

Someday my prints will come!!


Two guys... Hey do you think that someday technology will replace paper?... Well I think it will be quite hard to wipe with a tablet...

What should my major be in college, if I want to someday make casts for ladies with broken legs?


Son, I know my jokes don't make sense to you.

But they will someday when you are a groan man.

Even with all the terms there are today to describe one's gender orientation, there still wasn't one that fit me. So, I created my own: tri-sexual.

I really would like to try it someday.

I want to be an assassin someday

They make a killing.

I just ordered a realistic replica of my likeness from the neck up. Hopefully someday I can afford the full body option but...

I'm getting a head of myself.

So my friend told me this really sick joke about NAMBLA...

[preemptively deleted because I'd like to have a career someday.]

An old rabbi wants to leave the Soviet Union

So he goes to the emigration office. The clerk asks him why he wants to go.

Rabbi: There are two reasons. The first is that I'm afraid the Soviet Union will collapse someday. The people will then seek to blame someone for the crimes of Communism, and us Jews will become scapegoats once more.

Clerk: But this is nonsense, comrade. The Soviet Union can never fall.

Rabbi: Yeah, that would be the second reason.

A robot walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve robots."

The robot replies, "Oh, but someday you will."

The first time Chris Brown ever laid his eyes on Rihanna he knew that he would someday hit that

I've recently started investing in stocks

I hope this leads to me finally becoming a bouillonaire someday.

Someday, we'll all look back on this COVID thing and laugh...

Well...not *all* of us...

I collect binary variables

Someday I'll be a booleanaire

What is the difference between a capitalist fairy tale and a Marxist fairy tale?

A capitalist fairy tale begins with Once upon a time, there was.....
A Marxist fairy tale begins with Someday, there will be...

The older woman.....

A guy walks into a bar and orders a round of beer for everyone. "My wife just gave birth to my son this morning!" he tells the bartender. "That's great!" the bartender agrees. "I know just how excited you are! My wife just gave birth to my daughter yesterday. Who knows? Maybe someday they'll grow up and marry each other." "Yeah, right," the guy says. "Like my son is going to marry someone twice his age."

Every day I see my big-breasted neighbour doing gardening work in front of the house.

I really hope his wife tells him to put a shirt on someday.

A man spends his days studying archeology at university, and his nights dreaming of someday finding a girlfriend.

No matter how hard he tried, he could never master the techniques of dating.

Eventually, his professors had to fail him.

I'm trying to build interest for my new children's book

It's about a vixen whose tail hurts, and each page after the introduction is a new animal trying to help her heal or deal with the pain. Sadly, every publisher I've contacted has rejected the manuscript outright.

I'm not giving up, though. "For Fox' ache" will find it's audience someday.

Present tense of cloud?

As I was saying goodnight to my 10 year old son this evening he said:

I saw a bunch of clouds while we were out hiking today. I wonder which one holds my data...

I groaned as I closed his bedroom door. He'll make a great dad someday!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the someday hope jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working someday sacha piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes