Someday Jokes
61 someday jokes and hilarious someday puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about someday that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Someday Short Jokes
Short someday jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The someday humour may include short eventually jokes also.
- When I was a little boy, my dad taught me that any little boy or girl, even me, could grow up and become President someday... I'm starting to believe him.
- My daughter asked if I am going to die someday I said "Don't worry sweetheart. I promise I'll be alive for the rest of my life."
She looked relieved. - I've recently started investing in stocks I hope this leads to me finally becoming a bouillonaire someday.
- A robot walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve robots." The robot replies, "Oh, but someday you will."
- Every day I see my big-breasted neighbour doing gardening work in front of the house. I really hope his wife tells him to put a shirt on someday.
- I just ordered a realistic replica of my likeness from the neck up. Hopefully someday I can afford the full body option but... I'm getting a head of myself.
- Someday when I am a parent, I will not vaccinate my kids... I'll get a doctor to do it instead.
- Someday I'll open a store that specializes in bedside furniture. The name of the store will be "One" I figure it'll be the only way I'll ever have a "One nightstand."
- My father would always tell me, "Son, someday you will go far..." "and I hope to God that you stay there."
- What did the commitment averse monster truck announcer say to his girlfriend when she asked him, "When are you going to finally ask me to marry you?" ###SOMEDAY
###SOMEDAY!
###SOMEDAY!!
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Someday One Liners
Which someday one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with someday? I can suggest the ones about tomorrow and occasionally.
- I want to be a father someday But my son says I should start now
- How can you ensure you visit outer space someday? Planet.
- Someday, we'll all look back on this COVID thing and laugh... Well...not *all* of us...
- Someday, my prince will come. I hope it's soon, my arm's tired.
- I collect binary variables Someday I'll be a booleanaire
- What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up? Someday my prints will come.
- What did Snow White say when the printer jammed? Someday my prints will come!!
- My mommy told me I would grow up to be a big tiger someday... She was lion.
- I want to be an assassin someday They make a killing.
- I know I'll have a smoking hot body someday. Unless they decide to bury me, that is.
- Someday I want to write a book titled "The most erogenous spelling errors". *erroneous
- Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!
- Let's coin a term for a third arm... It could come in handy someday.
- the hearse is my dream car someday You could even say I'm dying to get into it
- My hope for you is that you someday find the end of your sentence
Charming Humor Someday Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about someday you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sunny day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make someday pranks.
What do lawyers and s**... have in common?
Both have a 1 in 2 millon chance of being a person someday.
What did the website say to the Google bot after their breakup?
I knew you'd come crawling back to me someday.
The Love for music!
If someday we all go to prison for downloading music, I hope they split us by music genre.
I'm calling it now: I'm going to discover the cure for blindness and make billions of dollars someday.
You'll all see.
A JokeExplainBot walks into a bar...
The bartender says "Hey! We don't serve robots in here."
The JokeExplainBot replies menacingly, "Oh, you will... Someday, you will."
The other day, I ran into an old buddy of mine...
He said to me, "This company isn't grand enough for a man like me... Someday, I'll show them and quit!"
I replied "Look, can I just get fries with that?"
The pretty teacher was concerned with
one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love." the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With you!" he said.
"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a c**...!"
A man is about to have surgery...
The surgeon says : Don't worry I've done this operation hundreds of times.
The man responds: That's sounds reassuring.
The surgeon then says: Yeah, I have to succeed someday.
My 11-year-old grandson spent a beautiful
My 11-year-old grandson spent
a beautiful Saturday playing video games. His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, Someday, you're going to be 30 years old, single, and living in Mom's basement playing video games all day!
His reply: I can only dream.
As a purple faced man I long to meet a purple faced woman someday...
Don't hold your breath
If we can put a man on the moon,
we can put a man with AIDS on the moon. And then someday, we can put everyone with AIDS on the moon.
Someday, I will make a great dad....
I don't have any parenting experience, but I *can* tell terrible jokes.
I hope that someday we can live in a world without plagiarism.
You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one.
An old h**... joke
Some time ago, a medium contacted h**...'s spirit by accident. Out of curiosity, he decided to listen to what h**... had to say.
"Listen to my words, you little brat: I'm gonna reincarnate someday, and I'm gonna kill six million Jews and two dogs".
"Why the two dogs?" the medium replied.
"See, nobody cares about the Jews!"
There are two kinds of people in this world, the kind that keep their inbox at zero...
and the kind that want to run for president someday.
Maybe someday m**... will be like showering.
Your first time is with your dad.
Why do you practice basketball everyday, son?
Why do you practice basketball everyday, son? the Father Nebula asked his son, Little Nebula, when he saw him dribbling a ball.
Because I want to be a superstar someday, Dad, Little Nebula replied.
Im proud of you, son. Father Nebula hugged his child.
Technology...
Two guys... Hey do you think that someday technology will replace paper?... Well I think it will be quite hard to wipe with a tablet...
Even with all the terms there are today to describe one's gender orientation, there still wasn't one that fit me. So, I created my own: tri-s**....
I really would like to try it someday.
An old rabbi wants to leave the Soviet Union
So he goes to the emigration office. The clerk asks him why he wants to go.
Rabbi: There are two reasons. The first is that I'm afraid the Soviet Union will collapse someday. The people will then seek to blame someone for the crimes of Communism, and us Jews will become scapegoats once more.
Clerk: But this is nonsense, comrade. The Soviet Union can never fall.
Rabbi: Yeah, that would be the second reason.
What is the difference between a capitalist fairy tale and a Marxist fairy tale?
A capitalist fairy tale begins with Once upon a time, there was.....
A Marxist fairy tale begins with Someday, there will be...
The older woman.....
A guy walks into a bar and orders a round of beer for everyone. "My wife just gave birth to my son this morning!" he tells the bartender. "That's great!" the bartender agrees. "I know just how excited you are! My wife just gave birth to my daughter yesterday. Who knows? Maybe someday they'll grow up and marry each other." "Yeah, right," the guy says. "Like my son is going to marry someone twice his age."
A man spends his days studying archeology at university, and his nights dreaming of someday finding a girlfriend.
No matter how hard he tried, he could never master the techniques of dating.
Eventually, his professors had to fail him.
I'm trying to build interest for my new children's book
It's about a v**... whose tail hurts, and each page after the introduction is a new animal trying to help her heal or deal with the pain. Sadly, every publisher I've contacted has rejected the manuscript outright.
I'm not giving up, though. "For Fox' ache" will find it's audience someday.
Present tense of cloud?
As I was saying goodnight to my 10 year old son this evening he said:
I saw a bunch of clouds while we were out hiking today. I wonder which one holds my data...
I groaned as I closed his bedroom door. He'll make a great dad someday!
When I grew up in America, I was told that if I work real hard, someday I could be the next President of the United States.
I live in the UK now and noticed that the British aren't as optimistic as Americans.
But as an optimist, I still tell my son that if he worked real hard, someday he could be the next Queen of England.
