Solve Jokes
181 solve jokes and hilarious solve puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about solve that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you love a good puzzle? If you are looking for a challenge, why not try solving jokes? Learn how to break down the riddles and crack the code by working through a range of hard-to-solve puzzles, such as problem solving, solve for x, sudoku, approximation and variable equations. Get ready to flex your brain and find the punchline!
Funniest Solve Short Jokes
Short solve jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The solve humour may include short solution jokes also.
- The doctor gave me six months to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 50 years. Problem solved.
- The doctor told me I had only six months to live, so I shot him dead. The judge gave me fifteen years. Problem solved.
- My stalker ex-girlfriend just threatened to kill herself if I didn't take her back. Isn't it great when problems solve themselves?
- Really enjoying my new life aboard the giant space station designed to solve Earth's overpopulation problem . Just a bit weird how the sun gets slightly bigger in my cabin window every day.
- Water can solve all your issues. Want to lose weight? Drink water. Need to wake up? Splash water on your face. Someone annoying you? Drown them.
- Why is there no black character in the game "Clue"? Because then it would be called "Solved."
- Why are crimes in the 'Deep South' so hard to solve? There's no dental records & all the DNA matches...
- I don't see why in this day and age there aren't marches against fat shaming Because marches would definitely solve the problem.
- The doctor gave me 5 month to live. So in the heat of the moment, I shot him.
And the judge gave me 25 years.
Problem solved. - Why can't Athiests solve exponential problems? Because they don't believe in higher powers.
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Solve One Liners
Which solve one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with solve? I can suggest the ones about resolution and problem solving.
- Why did the feminist fail algebra? She couldn't solve inequalities
- What do you call a detective who just solves cases accidentally? Sheer luck Holmes
- why dont atheists solve exponential equations ? they dont believe in higher powers.
- My wife says I can't solve my own problems How do I prove her wrong?
- Being married is solving problems together. Problems I wouldn't have, if I was single.
- How does a mathematician solve their constipation? They work it out with a pencil
- Why are racists so good at solving rubik's cubes? Cuz they looooove seperating colors.
- Marriage brings two people together to solve issues they never had before
- Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
- You can't solve every problem with calculus It has its limits
- Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle? He was stumped.
- I spent the whole night trying to solve a math problem... and then it dawned on me.
- I saw a book at the bookstore called "How to Solve 50% of your problem" So I bought two
- Stalin would do well in my math class: He's got a lot of practice solving by elimination.
- Drinking alcohol doesn't solve any problems. But then again, neither does drinking milk.
Problem Solve Jokes
Here is a list of funny problem solve jokes and even better problem solve puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I bought a book titled How to Solve Half Your Problems. I read it twice, now I'm problem free.
- Mom, someone called me gangster at school today. Mom: Dont worry I'll go tomorrow and solve this problem
Son: Make sure it looks like an accident. - My doctor said I have 2 weeks to live... So I shot him. Problem solved, the judge gave me 20 years.
- A global crisis broke out, affecting every nation and people of all kinds In response, the world banded together and quickly solved the problem through mutual cooperation and understanding
- A programmer had a problem. He thought to himself, I know, I'll solve it with threads! has Now problems. two he
- I tried to buy some cough syrup earlier, but apparently you need photographic ID. Anyhow, I solved the problem.
I bought a huge box of laxatives and took them all - now I'm far too scared to cough. - Went to see the doctor last week, he gave me 4 months to live, so I shot him. Today the judge gave me life in prison, problem solved.
- The problem with America is stupidity. So why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
- Having a crush on someone is like solving a math problem. If you know you can't get it, all you can do is just stare at it.
- Why did ChatGPT's mom always ask it to solve math problems? Because it was good at calculating attention!
Solve Problem Jokes
Here is a list of funny solve problem jokes and even better solve problem puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Old Russian joke. Russia has 2 major problems: roads and idiots. One of them can be solved by a road roller... But it's impossible to figure out what to do with roads.
- When I was in the shop today, I saw a book that said "Guide how to solve 50% of your problems" so I bought 2 of them
- I saw a book on Amazon titled How to Solve 50% of your life's problems. Naturally I ordered two copies.
- Water can solve all your problems.. Want to lose weight?
Drink water.
Clear Face?
Drink water.
Tired of a person?
Drown them in water.. - water can solve all your problems, want to lose weight, drink mor water, want to wake up, splash want water on your face, someone getting on your nerves, drown them
- Why did the young Mexican solve the problem so easily? It was a no buena
My girlfriend is Mexican so I love Mexican jokes. Let me know if you have one! - Dear math, Solve your own problems
- What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions? An algorithm.
- Cats don't need smart phones to solve their problems, they just sleep until the problem solves itself. Cats: There's a nap for that.
- How did the chief of police solve his fly infestation problem? He called the SWAT team
Hard To Solve Jokes
Here is a list of funny hard to solve jokes and even better hard to solve puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why are murders so hard to solve in Alabama? There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
- Why are crimes so hard to solve in Alabama ? Because their are no dental records and all the DNA matches
- I know how to solve the homeless problem and make bums into hard working citizens! Give them construction worker helmets. They already have the standing around doing nothing part down!
- Why are murders so hard to solve in Tennessee? Because there are no dental records and the DNA is all the same.
- You think solving the measure of circles is hard?! Triangles
- Why are black crimes hard to solve? Because they're all criminals and they look the same.
- Why are r**... murders so hard to solve? There's no dental records and all the DNA matches
- Why's it so hard to solve a r**... m**...? Cause the DNA's all the same and there ain't no dental records.
- Why is it so hard to solve a r**... m**...? All the bloods the same and there are no dental records
- r**... murders are hard to solve There aren't any dental records and all of the DNA is the same
Solve For X Jokes
Here is a list of funny solve for x jokes and even better solve for x puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Most people don't know that DMX is good at math When solving a polynomial, X gon give it to you
- Coworker gave the best accidental joke after mentioning why she liked Algebra. "I love solving for X, and I don't even know why!"
- Dear math, stop telling me to find your X Their not coming back, grow up and solve your own problems
- How come in math we are always solving for x? Because with my ex, I'm always trying to solve for why.
- How did the teacher solve the integral of dx/(x^2((x^2)-4)^1/2)? I guess he had a few trig sub his sleeve
- My friend asked me to help him solve and integral with multiple X variables. I told him it sounds like a U problem
- Why do the algebra books always ask you to "solve for X"? I wish they'd just teach the X to move on and solve it's own problems.
- A high school teacher once told me that math can solve any problem, numerical or not. I've been sitting here for weeks and I still can't replace my X.
^^Sorry ^^;_; - Why is h**... like solving the equation (x/10^6)=-6 for X? The final solution leaves you with - 6,000,000
- How do you solve a math equation? Isolate the "x" so it gets depressive and takes s**....
Hilarious Solve Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about solve you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean repair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make solve pranks.
As an atheist I find tell my maths teacher I shouldn't have to solve exponential factors
because I don't believe in higher powers
I was trying to solve an equation when I realised that the minus button on my calculator was broken...
On the plus side, it still worked.
If you could own the entirety of Bill Gates' fortune or solve world hunger,...
what color would your Lamborghini be?
Physics Joke
I tried having a t**... with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three body problem
What do bed detectives solve?
Pillow cases
Two american tourists are having lunch at a McDonald's in Leicester square
They are arguing how to pronounce Leicester. To solve their dispute, they decide to walk up to the counter and ask the cashier.
"Excuse me ma'am, but can you tell me where we are? But can you pronounce it slowly, as you see, we're not from around here."
The cashier nods and says "Mic...don...alds"
Yo momma's so fat that objects 5 meters away accelerate at 1 m/s^2 toward her. What is yo momma's mass if G = 6.67x10^-11Nm^2/kg^2?
Please, someone help me, I can't solve it and it's making me nuts.
Confucius Say
It is only when a mosquito lands on your t**... that you realize there is always a way to solve a problem without violence.
My company uses salt water to solve any problem.
We are called Saline Solutions.
Why can't atheists solve quadratic equations?
They don't believe in higher powers.
Can someone help me find some videos of Al Gore dancing?
I'm trying to solve a Rubik's cube and a friend told me that using Al Gore Rhythms could help.
How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.
Relativity theory
In classical (Newtonian) physics, we can't solve the three-body problem. In the theory of relativity, we can't solve the two-body problem. In quantum mechanics, we can't solve the one-body problem, and with quantum electro dynamics, we don't even understand the vacuum anymore.
A blonde is about to solve a crossword...
... but still misses some answers.
She asks for a help her best friend,
"Jane, could you help me solving this pls. - the clue says 'Feminine i**... part' - with 4 letters.."
"Across or down?" asks her friend.
"It's across"
"Then it should be lips"
Why are r**... crimes so hard to solve...
Because everyone has the same DNA and there are no dental records.
.
.
.
.
Not original, I heard it on satellite radio yesterday.
I highly doubt any alcohol or v**... will solve any of my life's problems
But I guess it's still worth the... shot
I think we should solve world hunger.
You might say I'm a strong believer in world peas.
^I'll ^see ^myself ^out...
A programmer had a problem...
A programmer had a problem. He thought I know, I'll solve it with threads! . has Now problems. two he
How do you solve world hunger and poverty simultaneously?
By feeding the poor to the hungry.
So I've heard there's a h**... epidemic among white teens...
I guess they're used to shooting up to solve their problems
Did you hear about the math teacher...
...who used a ladder to solve a calculus problem written at the very top of his blackboard?
He really rose to the equation.
So I went to the doctor yesterday because I've been feeling tired all the time.
He told me I needed to quit m**....
I asked him if that would solve my problem. "No," he replied, "but I can't examine you while you're doing it."
Why couldn't the police solve the case of the flat car battery?
They had no leads.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland.
She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems
There are almost no problems that cannot be solved by adding puppies into the equation...
except for world hunger...which come to think of it, they can also solve.
A Blonde Tries To Solve A
A blonde has been working on her new puzzle for a couple days now but can't seem to get it right. One day, her husband comes home to his wife crying at the kitchen table. He rushes over and asks his wife why she was crying, and she replies "I've been working on the puzzle forever but can't figure it out! It's supposed to be a tiger." The husband shakes his head and says "honey put the Frosted Flakes back in the box"
Jesus tried to solve a Rubik's cube
He died on the cross.
How do police solve problems in the streets?
troubleshooting
How do you solve climate change?
Convince Republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.
How to solve Global Warming:
Convince republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.
I've solved every single mathematical problem!
I have nothing more to add
How do people in Prague solve Algebra equations?
Guess and Czech.
How does a mathematician want to solve terrorism?
He wants to simplify the radicals.
Patients in an insane asylum are eating plaster off the walls,
the head doctor calls in the best doctor in the country to try and solve this problem. So the best doctor comes in and inspects the walls. He tells the head doctor to repaint the walls from red to green. The next day after the walls are repainted the head doctor comes in and sees the patients sitting and staring at the walls. "Why aren't you eating the walls now?" the head doctor asks them. "They arn't ripe yet"
Why is it so hard to solve a m**... in a trailer park?
Because the DNA evidence is all the same and there are no dental records
h**... murders are the hardest to solve
They don't have dental records and all their DNA is the same.
What do you call a dog that doesn't solve mysteries?
s**... Don't.
why can't you solve a r**... crime
because there are no dental records and all the DNA is the same
A lot of people think a world without sin would be perfect
But there's only so much you can solve with cos and tan
What's the difference between your dentist and a philosopher?
Your dentist helps you solve molar dilemmas.
How did the math professor solve his constipation problem?
He worked it out with a pencil.
[Solved] "What does the Fox say?"
"Cancelled"
So my wife asked me yesterday "What would you do if You and I were 'Adam and Eve'?"
I replied nonchalantly, **"I'd fap and go to sleep. That would solve most problems."**
P.S: A'yup, I slept on the couch. :/
Mother, mother, ...
... how come other children need hours to solve Rubik's cube but I do it in just a few seconds?
- Well, sweetie, it's because you're color blind.
What do you call an electrical engineer trying to solve an issue?
Sherlock Ohms
When I was in the library I saw a book titled how to solve 50% of your problems.
So i bought 2 books
I've realized that s**... would solve all my problems....
...if I could just get the right people to try it.
Why can't atheist solve exponential equations?
Why can't atheist solve exponential equations?
.
.
.
(Well, because they don't believe in higher powers.) ^(4)
If somebody offered me a coin flip to either get 10 million dollars or instantly die, I'd accept in a heartbeat. A 50 percent chance to solve all my problems would be amazing!
And even if I lost the flip, I'd still get some money.
Why was the PTA meeting h**... difficult to solve?
Because it wasn't apparent who did it.
A Russian enters a bar full of Turkish people.
He's wearing a t-shirt with bright lettering "Turkish got 3 problems."
Just a few seconds later the Turkishs oppose him and say "Hey, yopu know what you're wearing is insulting?"
The russian responds: "This is your first problem: You're so easily offended."
The Turkish respond: "Okay, maybe we should settle this outside."
The Russian: "That's your second problem: You always want to solve your problems with violence."
The Turkish bring him outside and pull their knives.
The Russian: "And here's your third problem. You always bring knives to gun fights."
Why do dogs start barking instead of trying to solve the problem?
Because solving problems are ruff.
A man and his wife are walking in a mall, and the man realizes that his wife has disappeared...
The man walks to a woman outside the nearest store and says, I need to talk to you, I can't find my wife . The woman responds, I'll help you, but how is talking to me going to solve anything? . The man replies, my wife usually comes back when she sees me talking to strange women .
What did the dancing queen use to solve her math problems?
An ABBA-cus.
Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.
Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:
370HSSV - 0773H
Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI
No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.
Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:
"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a r**... m**...?
Because the DNA is all the same and there's no dental records.
Politicians are like air freshener
They don't solve problems. They cover them up.
A detective is trying to solve a m**... mystery
A lady was killed by being stabbed 17 times. The only evidence was a knife, fully made of concrete. The detective sent the knife to a lab, hoping for any DNA evidence, but unfortunately, the results came back inconclusive.
The detective was puzzled. He was sure it was concrete evidence.
A truck carrying cows and a truck carrying cannabis get into a car accident.
Neither party can agree on who's fault the accident was, so they hire a detective. This is the detective's first day on the job and his boss tells him, If you can solve this case you get a promotion, however if you fail you will be fired. The steaks are high.