Solution Jokes
134 solution jokes and hilarious solution puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about solution that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article will take a lighthearted approach to solutions and share some hilarious jokes about solution architecture, solution chemistry, aqueous solutions, solutes and insoluble materials. From puns to one-liners, get ready to laugh out loud!
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Funniest Solution Short Jokes
Short solution jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The solution humour may include short solve jokes also.
- What do alcoholics and chemists have in common? They both view alcohol as a solution.
I'll see my self out...... - I wanted to build my career on making chemistry jokes to cure my depression. Then I realized alcohol is a solution.
- People keep telling me that alcohol isn't a solution but I've asked my chemist friends and they all reassure me that it is.
- I think my optometrist is in love with me. Every time I leave his office he hands me a bottle of contact solution and says "Eye care for you"
- To those who say "alcohol is not the solution": Alcohol is a solvent. By definition, it's part of the solution.
- Why are so many chemists addicted to alcohol? Because they are sure alcohol is a solution.
- The school counsellor told me that alcohol was never a solution. I said that my chemistry teacher would disagree.
- I really don't understand why people consider alcohol to be a problem. Chemically speaking, it's a solution.
- When I was younger I thought drugs were going to be a much bigger problem. Now I'm older, they seem like the only solution.
- How many mulas till a solution? One mula...
Two mula...
Three mula...
Formula.
I made this up. No one ever laughs. It must be my delivery.
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Solution One Liners
Which solution one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with solution? I can suggest the ones about solve problem and alternative.
- It turns out my high school Chemistry teacher was right.... Alcohol IS a solution.
- According to Science Alcohol is a solution.
- Drugs are not a solution! Until you mix them with water
- They say alcohol isnt the answer. But chemistry says it is a solution.
- What do you call a tooth in a glass? A one molar solution.
- If you're not part of the solution, you're either a solid or a gas.
- Why was the electrolytic solution taken to court? It was charged with a salt.
- Why are scientists always drunk? Because alcohol is a solution.
- What do you call a plan to exterminate Hipsters? The vinyl solution.
- I have the solution to the drought in California Just let all the ladies hear my mixtape
- They said I couldn't drink my problems away... But science says Alcohol is a solution.
- What did the salt say to the water? I solute you
- My company uses salt water to solve any problem. We are called Saline Solutions.
- If chemistry has taught me anything... It's that alcohol is always a solution
- My girlfriend is actually a solution ... of equation x²+1=0
Final Solution Jokes
Here is a list of funny final solution jokes and even better final solution puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The press should have given Sean Spicer a 5th attempt at clarifying his statement. Who knows, maybe he finally figured out the final solution.
- What do you call a murderous Universal solvent? A final solution
- Some chemistry students accidentally made hydrogen cyanide. They were actually trying to create The Final Solution.
- What do you call a homogenous mixture formed immediately before the apocalypse? The Final Solution.
- Do you know why you stop the reaction as soon as the methane and the ammonia have finished oxidizing? Because HCN is the final solution.
- A chemist mixes two chemicals with ash from a German Crematorium. The poor guy got fired for it. It was his Final Solution.
- Why isn't Israel pushing harder for finalizing the peace deal with Palestine? ....They aren't a fan of "Final Solutions".
- What do you get when mix the last of the solute with the last of the solvent? The Final Solution
- In chemistry different kinds of solutions can have different charges but do you khat kind of solution has a charge of -6 million? The final solution
- Apparently hydration wasn't the Final Solution. Dehydration by oven was.
-my friend whilst getting a drink
Solution Chemistry Jokes
Here is a list of funny solution chemistry jokes and even better solution chemistry puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- People tell me "Alcohol isn't a solution" But why should I listen to someone who clearly flunked chemistry?
- If you're ever having trouble with Chemistry, just remember... Bleach is a solution
- What's the difference between a math book and a chemistry book? One has problems, and the other has solutions.
- My middle school chemistry teacher once told us... "Alcohol is not a solution, it's a distillation" \*smirks\*
- I guessed on my chemistry test on solutions The suspension is killing me
- Why did the Muslim fail his Chemistry Exam ? because to him, Alcohol is not a solution
- A chemistry professor was arguing with his wife. He said, "Now see, If you are not a part of the solution then you are a part of the precipitate.
- Not to get technical But according to chemistry alcohol is technically a solution
- A German chemistry student holds up a small vial of HCn. The professor asks him if he's done with the lab.
He says, "Yes, professor, this is my final solution." - Today my chemistry teacher told us that alcohol is a problem. I raised my hand and said, "Didn't you just say yesterday that it's a solution?"
Gather Around for Fun Solution Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about solution you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean product jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make solution pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... is like...
s**... is like math. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, leave your solution, and pray you didn't multiply.
s**... is like air. You don't know what it's worth until you're not getting any.
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep...
but they have a limited amount of building material. The engineer gets up first and makes a square fence with the material, reasoning that it's a pretty good working solution. "No no," says the physicist, "there's a better way." He takes the fence and makes a circular pen, showing how it encompasses the maximum possible space with the given material.
Then the mathematician speaks up: "No, no, there's an even better way." To the others' amusement he proceeds to construct a little tiny fence around himself, then declares:
"I define myself to be on the outside."
An engineer, chef, and a mathematician go out drinking
To their favorite bar and grill. Well they're having some drinks and laughing when a fire starts behind the bar.
Seeing the staff panicking, the engineer quickly calculates exactly how much water he'll need to put it out and runs in the back for a bucket.
The chef, from his own experience can tell its a grease fire so he runs in back to find salt.
The Mathematician looks at his friends, then to the fire. Upon realizing there is a solution, he promptly continues drinking.
This is my dad's (a math major) favourite joke. What's the difference between an Engineer and a Mathematician?
A mathematician and an engineer are living together in a dorm when a fire starts in their room.
The mathematician wakes up and sees the fire. He quickly scans the room and sees a fire extinguisher and goes back to bed, happy knowing a solution exists.
The engineer wakes up, sees the fire and uses the extinguisher to put it out.
My girlfriend complained we don't spend enough time together. So she came up with a perfect solution...
... and broke up with me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Pirates life for me...
A first mate says to his captain "sir i have the yearn in me l**..., and we haven't made port in weeks what do i do"
Captain : "I too have this problem , and have a solution!. when ever ye feel the need, place your self in this hole in the barrel, except on Wednesdays never on Wednesdays"
1st.Mate: "that's a great plan sir, but why not Wednesdays is that when we clean it out?"
Captain:"no you slimy dog Wednesdays is your turn in the barrel"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
c**... is never a solution...
Unless it's dissolved in water.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Sorting out Problems
Remember, whenever you have a problem with someone, use hydrochloric acid. It's always a solution.
Mafia florists
Some Italian mafia members own a florist shop in a city. Theirs is the only florist is the area, and so they control most of the flower business in the area.
One day, however, another florist shop opens up across the street. Afraid for their business, the mafia send one of theirs to rustle the place up, maybe scare them off. But he comes back to report that the florists are all friars! Being devout Catholics, they can't mess with the good friars.
The mafia boss has a solution. He turns to a guy named Hugh.
"Hey Hugh, you're atheist, right?"
"Yes."
"You you'll have no qualms about shaking up that flower shop?"
"I don't see why I would, boss."
Then he puts his hand on Hugh's shoulder, turns to the rest of the group, and says,
"Only Hugh can prevent florist friars."
Beer isn't a solution
Unless you're a chemist.
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Why are n**... so good at math?
They always come up with the final solution.
Now Its the Father Problem
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
I could tell you that sodium hydroxide is a liquid out of solution.
But then that would be a lye.
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Confucious say...
Confucious say a boy who goes to bed with s**... problem wake up with solution in hand.
The United Nations world-wide survey
The United Nations sent out a survey to all the nations in the different continents of the world.
The survey went like this:
"We want your honest opinion on how to find a solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world"
The survey of course, turned out to be a total and abject failure:
The People in western Europe didn't know what the word 'shortage' meant. The people in eastern Europe had no idea what the expression 'honest' was supposed to mean. In china no one knew what 'opinion' was. In Africa they didn't know what 'food' was. In the middle east no one could figure out what 'solution' was; and in america they had no idea what 'the rest of the world' meant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Adolf h**... hate math class?
He didn't like showing his work; was only interested in the final solution.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know why it's women and children first off of a sinking ship?
It's so that the men can have some peace and quiet to figure out a solution.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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If you're not part of the solution...
You're part of the precipitate.
A Physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are all locked in separate burning buildings
The Physicist runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds that amount, puts out the fire, and survives.
The engineer pulls out a calculater, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds 10 times that amount, puts out the fire, and survives.
The mathematician runs to a chalkbaord, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, declares, "There IS a solution!", and then burns to death.
What is it called when Al Gore comes up with a solution to a problem?
An Al-Gore-ithm.
I'll see myself out.
Racism is a subjective matter
there are no black and white solutions
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There's a giant hole in town and everybody is falling in it and going to the hospital
The mayor holds a meeting and asks everyone to propose a solution.
Someone stand up and says: "We should put a cop next to the hole and whenever someone falls he'll call an ambulance."
Another person offers to put an ambulance next to the hole.
Someone else offers to build a hospital next to the hole.
At this point everybody starts arguing so the mayor shuts everybody up and says: "You are all s**.... We should close up the hole and dig another one next to the hospital."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did h**... call his records store?
The Vinyl Solution.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I don't think drinking v**... is the solution to all of my problems...
But it's worth a shot.
A statistician, a mathematician, and a biologist are standing outside a house.
They watch two people walk in. A couple hours later, they watch three people walk out.
The statistician considers the problem for a moment, then thinks to himself: "Oh, we must have miscounted."
The biologist, naturally, goes through a similar moment of introspection before deciding, "Ah, they must have reproduced!"
Meanwhile, the mathematician arrived at the solution almost immediately: "If one person goes back into the house, it will be completely empty!"
Why are chemists never wrong?
Because they always have a solution.
Two ambassadors — one Israeli and one Palestinian — are staying in a hotel...
They decide to order lunch, each opting for a porterhouse steak. Unfortunately, the kitchen staff find that there is only one porterhouse left. No one knows what to do, as nobody dares give either ambassador a replacement meal. The cook really wishes for a two-steak solution.
A small town has a factory which produces coffee scented skin creme.
The trucks which transport the cream are causing so much traffic in the small town that the mayor holds a town hall meeting to find a solution. The residents eventually vote to move the cream by train.
So there was a local motion for mocha lotion locamotion.
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Why are women and children evacuated first?
So we can figure out a solution in peace and quiet.
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Wet phone solution.
Person 1: If you drop your phone into some water, fill a bag with rice and put the phone in the bag and sit it on the kitchen bench overnight.
During the night, the rice will attract asians who will fix your broken electronics.
Person 2: Dude, that's not how it works. They would eat the rice too.
The School teacher sent home a note with her student..
The note reads, Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends too much time talking to girls.
Mother sends a note back the following day, Please advise a solution. Father has the same problem.'
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v**... isn't a liquid.
It's a solution.
To the rest of us, "solutions" mean finding answers.
But to chemists, "solutions" are when things are still mixed up.
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If you aren't part of the solution
Then you weren't properly dissolved.
Joke my physics teacher told us
A farmer has a bunch of chickens who aren't laying eggs. Puzzled, he enlists the help of a physicist to try and work out the problem. The physicist went away and did his calculations, then came back a week later.
'I have a solution to your problem, but...' the physicist said.
'But what?' Said the farmer.
'It only works for circular chickens in a vacuum.'
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Why are women and children always the first ones to get evacuated on a emergency situation ?
So men may think on a solution in silence
One for the Mathematicians
Some engineers are trying to measure the height of a flagpole.
They only have a measuring tape, and they have not been able to slide the tape up the pole.
A mathematician asks what they are doing, and they explain.
The solution is easy, she says. She pulls the pole out of the ground, lays it down, and measures it.
After she leaves, one of the engineers says,
That is so typical! We tell a mathematician we need the height – and she gives us the length!
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Did you hear about the professor who could tell the acidity or baseness of a solution by dipping his g**... into it?
He had a PH D
The UN decided to do a worldwide survey...
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge flop. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
Why did the jar of weak acid go to the gym.
To become a buffer solution
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Why do all german exchange students fail math?
Because nobody wants to see their final solution.
Trump goes to Israel
and while praying at the wailing wall, suffers a massive heart attack and dies. The Israeli diplomat says they can bury him in the Holy Land for 100 bucks or embalm him and ship him back for 50k. The American diplomat opts for the 50k option. The Israeli asks why take the most expensive solution? The American responds, well another man buried here rose from the dead and we cannot take that chance.
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Multiplying by zero is just s**... in math: you don't really get a solution, but the problem goes away.
Shower thoughts didn't like it, but maybe you will
What did the sum say to the plus sign?
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
Little Johnny's mother receives a note from his teacher
"johhny is a very clever boy, but he spends too much time thinking about girls and it distracts him from matters that are really important"
The mother replies: "please inform me right away if you ever find a solution. His dad is having the same problem"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The devil has started to get really self conscious about his receding hairline and is planning to take out his anger on the humans if he cant find a solution.....
There's going to be h**... toupee
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Ya know, if you believe in reincarnation, s**... is a temporary solution to a permanent problem
anyways, the hotline asked me not to come back
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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You're either part of the solution
Or part of the precipitate
A man buys a parrot but the only thing it does is insult the man...
After spending hours trying every possible solution to get it to shut up the man decides to put the parrot in the freezer. A few minutes pass and the parrot falls silent. Thinking he might of killed it the man opens the freezer and finds the parrot shivering but alive. S-s-sorry for i-i-i-insulting you s-sir. I p-p-promise I'll s-s-stop . The man takes the the parrot out of the freezer and after a few minutes the parrot shyly says i-if you don't mind m-me asking... w-what did the t-t-turkey do?
Three fishermen catch a mermaid. If they agree to set her free, she will grant them each a wish. The first guy says, "OK, I want you to double my I.Q." Immediately, the guy recites Shakespeare flawlessly. The second guy asks the mermaid to triple his I.Q.
Suddenly, he's spouting complicated mathematical solutions. Impressed, the last guy asks the mermaid to quintuple his I.Q. The mermaid hesitates and asks, "Are you sure that's what you really want?" "Absolutely!" says the man. The mermaid smiles. Instantly, the third man turns into a woman.
Do you know why women and children are always evacuated first in any emergency situation?
So that all the men can think and come up with a solution in peace and quiet.
Source: my dad (to me on International Women's Day)
Why do people with problems drink alcohol?
It's a solution
A friend was having trouble with her oldschool mechanical typewriter.
She said 'It's great to have such a retro device, however it doesn't work properly'.
I asked 'What is wrong with it?'
She replied 'Well some of the keys get stuck and I have to move them back manually'
'Ah I think I have a solution'
'Please tell me'
'Well what you need to do is press W, D, 4, T, all at once and it should loosen up'.
A journalist tries to find out how different professions deals with basic math.
So he asks them a simple question: "How much is 1+1?"
The mechanical engineer quickly opens a handbook and say, the handbook says 2, let's make it 3 just in case.
The physicist starts scribbling and after 5 minutes say it's between 1.95 and 2.05 within 3 sigma confidence level.
The mathematician start writing formulas and within half an hour he announces he can prove that there is a solution.
The lawyer takes the journalist to the side and whispers, how much do you want it to be?
