Solar Jokes

Following is our collection of watts humor and gravitational one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Solar puns for adults, dirty immense jokes or clean collider gags for kids.

There is an abundance of universe jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 80 funniest jokes on solar. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any resistance witze you can hear about solar.

The Best jokes about Solar

Why haven't Aliens visited our Solar System yet? ...

They looked at the reviews...
Only 1 star.

Why haven't aliens come to our solar system?

They checked our reviews.

One star.

Why don't aliens visit our solar system?

Terrible ratings. One star.

I'm taking my wife for skydiving.

So if you see a solar eclipse today, don't be surprised.

TIL the American flag on the moon has turned into the French flag.

Due to solar radiation, the red and blue pigment has disappeared, leaving the flag to be completely white.


What would be the first thing communists do if they ruled the solar system?

Rename Uranus to Ouranus

I went online and rated our Solar System

Gave it one star.

My review of our solar system

1 Star.

Why did the tree install solar panels?

It wanted to be a power plant.

A solar panel is talking to a wind turbine...

The solar panel says, "So what do you think about this whole renewable energy thing?"
The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan."

I saw God write a review about our solar system a while ago

he didn't explain why he gave it a one star tho


why have aliens never visited our solar system?

because they saw the reviews only had 1 star

If I had to rate the solar system

I'd give it one star.

If you shrunk the solar system down so that the sun was at the top of your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet,

Uranus would be right about where you'd expect it to be.

Thankfully, someone created an online resource for everyone who suffered retinal damage watching the solar eclipse.

It truly is a site for sore eyes.

Know your eclipses.

Earth between sun and moon: Lunar eclipse.
Moon between sun and Earth: Solar eclipse.
Sun between moon and Earth: Apoceclypse.

RIP to all the vampires

who got fooled by the solar eclipse.

Fun fact: 99% of voters who live in the "path of totality" for the upcoming solar eclipse voted for trump.

Which is ironic, because the *last* thing they wanted to do is make the country darker.

I ran into a NASA scientist one day...

...and I say to him, "Your job seems so tough. I'd love to traverse the solar system, but I wouldn't even know where to begin..."

He says, "It's easy... you just planet."

So I took his advice and went on a trip around the Sun. It lasted a year and I had a pretty good time. But if I had to rate it, I'd only give it one star.


My boyfriend asked me how many planets are in our solar system.

And I said. "Eight"
And he said, "Nope, only 7, after I destroy Uranus tonight."

We need to start investing more in solar energy

But it's not just going to happen overnight

I think our solar system is highly underrated ...

... Seriously, just one star? Duh.

If Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus was written today...

The solar system would need more planets for the title.

I always thought I was destined for Stardom

But then I realised my mass was below 0.08 solar masses.

What do you call three suns in a row?

A solar ellipses

A boy asks his father what is the meaning of the Solar Eclipse?

The father replies "No son"

Why don't we have any alien visitors in our solar system?

I googled it and found the reason...

It's rated only '1 star' out there.

So, the God decides he needs a vacation...

He goes to meet his travel agent:
"We have a special on Andromeda, Cthulu resort." - Nah it's way too hot...
"How'bout skiing in Pillars Of Creation?" - Maybe something cheaper, this time?
"Well, You may try the Earth, Solar System new Spa, great price".
- ... Been there like 2000 years ago, mate, made one chick pregnant.
They still keep talking about this...

Military Humor

I had to translate. You can help me fix it.


Lieutenant Colonel to Major:
There is a total solar eclipse coming tomorrow at 9am, which does not happen every day. Assemble all soldiers on exercise field, I will provide explanation. In the event of rain, since we won't be able to see it anyway, assemble everyone in the gymnasium.


Major to Captain:
Per Colonel's order, tomorrow at 9am there will be ceremonial solar eclipse. If there is a need for rain, Lieutenant Colonel will give a separate order in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day.


Captain to Lieutenant:
Per Colonel's order tomorrow at 9am there will be solar eclipse. In the event of rain the solar eclipse will occur in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day.


Lieutenant to Sergeant:
Tomorrow at 9am Colonel will perform solar eclipse in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day.


Sergeant to Corporal:
"Tomorrow at 9am there will be eclipsing of Colonel because of the sun. If it is raining in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day, assemble all soldiers on the exercise field.


Two privates talking to each other:
Seems it will rain tomorrow. The sun will eclipse Colonel in the gymnasium. I wonder why it does not happen every day.

Why don't aliens visit the solar system

They look at the reviews and see it only has 1 star

What do you call a deaf woman during a solar eclipse.

Whatever you want to. It's not like she's going to know.

My Yelp review of the solar system

One star

If Ursa Minor is made up of stars...

is it safe to call it a Solar Bear?

When does the moon cover the thun?

During a solar eclisp

Interesting fact: the sun makes up 99.86% of the solar system's mass!

The rest is your mama

Blonde Inventions

The water-proof towel

Glow in the dark sunglasses

Solar powered flashlight

Submarine screen door

A book on how to read

Inflatable dart board

A dictionary index

Powdered water

Pedal powered wheel chair

Water proof tea bags

Zero proof alcohol

Reusable ice cubes

Skinless bananas

Do it yourself roadmap

With the far right prescribing UV and sunlight for medical cures

They have finally seen the benefits of solar power.

Did you know that the American flag on the moon was bleached due to solar radiation?

Now it looks like the French landed there first

Just been reading some reviews of the solar system

Can't believe it only got 1 star.

So we landed a car-sized object on Mars...

...but we have no plans to bring it back. As a matter of fact there's at least 3 of 'em up there. Does this make us the rednecks of the Galaxy; leaving our broken down rovers all over our Solar System?

A solar eclipse is like watching a woman breastfeed in public

It's beautiful, it's free, but under no circumstances should you look at it.

Eclipse is an acronym

* Eyes
* Cannot
* Look
* Into
* Partial
* Solar
* Eclipse

Why did Pluto miss the solar system party.

He didn't planet right

Babe, you can call me Solar Radiation.

Because I'm about to get caught up in your ozone.

What did the buffalo say during the solar eclipse?

Bison...

Why is Venus named after the Roman goddess of beauty?

Because it's the hottest planet in our solar system

How does our solar system hold its pants up?

With an asteroid belt.

What do you think of wind and solar energy?

I am a big fan, I believe they have a bright future.

The solar eclipse is like my sex life

it will be dark, hurt your eyes and only last 2 minutes!

Scientist released new findings proving that there are now only seven planets in our solar system

after I destroyed Uranus.

Did you know that Solar Radiation has turned the American Flags on the Moon White?

Great... Now people will think France has been there

Son: Can you explain what is a solar eclipse? Father: No son.

No son (No sun)

The real reason aliens won't visit our solar system

We have the worst ratings, only one star ☀️

Why did the Anti vaccinator leave the solar system?

Because he found mercury in it.

Solar radiation has turned the American flags on the moon pure white...

Now it looks like France landed there...

Why haven't aliens visited our solar system?

Because it only has one star.

What do people who make memes and solar eclipses over the US have in common?

It takes them both 38 years to go all the way.

Elon's opening speech for the Tesla Solar Roof really got my attention...

Who knew there were thousands of hot shingles in my area?

Earth went around the solar system asking the other planets for a stick of gum.

They all refused, but Earth still got one; Pluto shares its Orbit.

Do you know how many planets are in the solar system?

7, after I destroy Uranus.

When our solar system was formed, the Sun was in charge...

So the planets started a revolution.

My Dad is like the Solar Eclipse

If i make direct eye contact he'll hurt me, but when it's safe for me to look at him he already left for milk and won't be back for several years.

Hollywood is really taking climate change seriously

Vin Diesel even changed his name to Vin Solar

What do you call a TV show discussing renewable energy?

The solar panel

So I've heard the American flags on the moon are white now because of solar radiation.

Does this mean the French own it?

Saturn

Undefeated Solar system Hula Hoop champ!

TIL that our sun accounts for about 99.86% of the total mass in our solar system.

I guess that means yo momma only accounts for about 00.12%.

I really wish someone would have told me how long this solar eclipse was going to take.

Don't get me wrong, I had been enjoying watching it, but had I know it would still be going on for this long, I would have bought a pair of those fancy NASA glasses.

I am surprised Trump wanted to look at the solar eclipse today...

Because if he went blind all he would see is black

Aliens haven't visited our solar system yet because we only have 1 star.

They'll want to visit solar systems with 4 or 5 stars

The Nasa Parker Solar probe will be 4 million miles away from the sun

Due to the high temperatures it will have to operate at night.

The next solar eclipse will be in 2024...

Three or four presidents from now.

Tom Cruise was carrying amphetamine when he was mugged.

When the ambulance arrived the paramedic examined Tom Cruise and determined he was winded by a swift knee to the solar plexus.

The police officer wrote in his file: "The victim, Tom Cruise, got kneed for speed."

You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse,

But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

I'm really worried about the upcoming solar eclipse.

Because I've always heard that once you go black, you never go back.

Why are most solar systems bad business partners?

Most are rated one star and even the best only have three.

How many planets are there in the solar system?

There used to be nine, then there was eight and when I'm done with Uranus there'll be seven.

Every solar eclipse, children are often reported missing...

Because the parents cannot find their sun.

How many unknown solar systems are there?

If we knew they wouldn't be unknown.

NASA sent a probe to all of the planets in our solar system, but quit after Uranus

They found it to be a shithole.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes