Software Jokes
127 software jokes and hilarious software puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about software that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a laugh about software engineering, testing, development, architecture, bugs, and installation? Check out this collection of funny software jokes, quips, and puns. Perfect for software engineers and developers to get a chuckle or two!
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Funniest Software Short Jokes
Short software jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The software humour may include short apps jokes also.
- Microsoft is working on software for self-driving vehicles. I can't wait until my car suddenly stops in the middle of the highway and reboots to install updates.
- To most religious people, the holy books are like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree"
- Some people are like a software update Some people are like a software update . When I see them I think Not now
- Talking with your girlfriend is just like software installation EULA you just scroll down waiting for it to finish and agree without understanding what it says
- There are tons of girls in my software engineering class... ...just not very many of them.
- I see that software legend Photoshop is turning 25 this week. Actually, it's turning 38. It just looks 25.
- Today I pitched a new web software to Apple to replace safari... it raised a few iBrowse :(
- When Microsoft and Apple ship faulty products Microsoft: We will fix that faulty battery timer through a software update. *never fixes it though*
Apple: *quietly removes the battery timer* - How can you tell when a Software Developer is an extrovert ? He looks at *your* shoes when he's talking to you.
- How a phone recall works. Samsung: Send us your exploding phone.
Microsoft/Nokia: A software update will fix that.
Apple: You are using it wrong.
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Software One Liners
Which software one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with software? I can suggest the ones about program and computer.
- If pirates say "Arr", What do software pirates say? .RAR
- I installed anti virus software on my computer Now my computer has autism
- I like my women the way I like my software Without any viruses and I don't have to pay
- Hey girl are you a software update Because not now
- Do you want to hear a joke about software I'm still developing it
- I've created a writing software to rival Microsoft. It's their Word against mine.
- When software doesn't work It just bugs me
- Why did the software developer go broke? He used up all his cache !
- How does Big Shaq compile his software? From raw source.
- What's the best pickup line for a computer girl You turn my software into hardware
- What's Big Shaq's favorite type of software? Open-sauce.
- How does a software code becomes unreadable? No comments.
- If Al Gore had his own drumming software company he should name it... AlGoreRythyms
- Why can't blondes finish software updates? They can never find the "any" key.
- How does software eat it's food? By taking large bytes!
Software Engineer Jokes
Here is a list of funny software engineer jokes and even better software engineer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My son finally landed a position as a software engineer. He proudly told me that his new job title will be Java Developer. I didn't have the heart to tell him that means he'll be making the coffee.
- A software testing engineer walks into a bar. and he orders a beer, Orders 0 beer, orders 32769 beers, orders 99999999 beers, orders a lizard, orders -1 beers, orders gksbfkagfiau.
- There is a group of Amish engineers who created the hardware and software for a small self-driving horseless carriage. It's a little buggy.
- My 7yr old heard this... How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Zero, lightbulbs are hardware. - How much food does a software engineer eat a day? A couple of bytes
- Which Hollywood actor can be a Software engineer in US? Dev Patel
- A software engineer starts up an online mail service designed with women in mind. What do they call the website? FeMail.com
- What do you get when you cross a Software Engineer with an English teacher? A programmar.
- What was the name of the vans made up of software engineers? Code - a - line
- As a Software Engineer undergrad, I'm addicted to coding ...and morphine ...and adderall
Software Developer Jokes
Here is a list of funny software developer jokes and even better software developer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If software developers made cars They would cost $500, get 200 miles per gallon, and once a year would explode. Killing everyone inside.
- What makes a software developer feel rich? Their Cache
- What is the best advice for new software developers? Google it.
- Why do feminists hate most software developers? Because developers look at everything as objects
- What did the wheelchair-bound software developer say when asked to speak at an Apple Keynote? "Sorry, but I don't do stand-up comedy."
- How does a software developer call the sunrise? Sunget
- A retired politician was fired from his new job as a software developer after only three days He had no comment
- What do you call a software developer who's also a gynecologist? Front-end
- A mobile software developer just got fired from his job He wasn't very appy.
- How many software developers does it take to screw in a lightbulb About 1101
Hardware Software Jokes
Here is a list of funny hardware software jokes and even better hardware software puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is the best girlfriend for a computer geek? One that turns his software into hardware.
- Why was the computer shy? Because it had hardware and software but no underware.
- What's the difference between computers and people? With computers, you put the software into the hardware.
- What's the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist? One deals with software the other deals with hardware
- Light bulb classics. Light 'em up 1) How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Does not compute. It's a hardware problem. - How do you turn software into hardware? Rub it.
- What's the difference between hardware and software? Hardware breaks if you*don't* maintain it.
Software Bug Jokes
Here is a list of funny software bug jokes and even better software bug puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The software engineer was in his office when a large swarm of bugs attacked him. Had he been clad with harder clothes, he might have survived.
- Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software...it's called #Monday, please fix it...
- If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
Hilarious Software Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about software you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean product jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make software pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Are you a computer w**...? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a v**...."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get s**...."
Discussing with a woman is like reading software license terms.
In the end you ignore everything and click on "accept".
Three software engineers...
...are riding in a truck that breaks down. They get out, and tries to see what he can see under the hood, but doesn't know anything about cars, another calls a tow truck and waits, and the third says "I don't know what's wrong, let's just get back in the car and see if it happens again"
A software engineer died at 45 and went to heaven.
He asked god why he was dead at such an early age. God replied "Son, according to the billable hours you filed in your time sheet you should be 92 by now "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The inventor if the anti-virus software has been charged with m**....
They expect the trial to last 30 days
A Woman sends her husband - a software developer - out for groceries.
She says to him: "We don't need a lot. Please get us a loaf of bread; and if they have free-range eggs please bring six."
The husband returns with nothing but six loaves of bread: "They had free-range eggs."
Programmers today...
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots.
So far, the Universe is winning.
Similarity between beggars and software engineers
When two beggars meet each other and two software engineers meet each other after a long time,
the question asked is the same .
On which platform are you working these days?
What letter do pirate's hate the most?
Dear Charter Internet Customer:
Charter Communications ("Charter") has been notified by a copyright owner, or its authorized agent, that your Internet account may have been involved in the exchange of unauthorized copies of copyrighted material (e.g., music, movies, or software). We are attaching a copy of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) notice that Charter received from the copyright holder which includes the specific allegation.
The Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Enginner
A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt.
The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way.
The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and ensure we are all working with maximum efficiency to solve this problem.
The Software Engineer Just says "Wow! that is strange, lets push it back up and see if it happens again"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Software is like s**...
It's better when it's free
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
To the software thieves who robbed me last night.
Don't think you can get away with taking Microsoft Office away from me. I will find you. You have my Word.
Was playing with a new animation software but forgot to add any dialogue.
It rendered me speechless.
A mechanic, an electrician and a software developer were in a car.
The car stops working.
-It's the carburetor, says the mechanic. We just have to get down and clean it.
-It's the ignition, says the electrician. We have to check the spark plugs and we'll make it work.
-"Guys, I propose getting out of the car and getting back in and maybe it will start working."
What is the square root of Pai?
"To access your calculator's premium features like sine, square and square root, and logarithm, please call to have a contractor install the software"
Son, we just bought a software to control your internet access.
Can you install it?
My computer was really laggy until someone helped me update my software
Turns out it was the bus driver
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's kinda embarrassing, but I have a f**... for business software. So today I booted up my computer and started the dirty talk.
... unfortunately, it wasn't Intuit.
What software does the Infinity Gauntlet run on?
ThanOS
Why so many people crave for software updates?
They need a fix.
Did you know there's software that produces lotion?
It's called appointment.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement.
In the end you ignore it all and just click "I agree"
Italian Chefs can now get an exclusive software update for their Tesla
It's been named Carpatchio
Someone should make a movie about an old robot who needs a software upgrade so it can learn about LOVE.
You could call it, 'The 40-Year-Old Version'.
A Software Developer walks into a bar
A Software Developer walks into a bar
Bartender: "you having the usual?"
Software Developer thinks for a while
and then says "Yes"
Bartender: "What took you so long to answer?"
Software Developer: "Sorry, I got cache issues."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two men were breaking into a high security software company...
They couldn't get their code breaker to work for the back door, so, in a last desperate attempt to short circuit the security, one of them peed on the access panel.
It began smoking, a couple sparks flew, and boom, the back door clicked open.
They looked at each other, impressed and relieved.
u**....
What is a stoners favorite computer software?
Adoobe
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For a school video project, I was partnered with the class b**...
Wanting it to be finished as soon as possible, I told her that I would do most of the project as long as she would stay out of my way. I then realized that my computer was undergoing repairs so I asked her if she had any audio editing software. And let me tell you,
This b**... had the Audacity.
Three Engineers are eating lunch together and arguing.
The mechanical engineer is adamant that God must be a mechanical engineer because the human body is so well designed. The software engineer is just as sure that God must be a software engineer as the human mind is the most sophisticated software in the known universe. Suddenly they stop arguing and look at the civil engineer, "you've been awefully quiet?"
"Well it's pretty obvious that God isn't a civil engineer. No civil engineer would combine a recreational area with a sewage treatment plant."
If Government was software how would you describe its issues?
Answer: Too much middleware and a major lack of API functionality.
I really hate Norton's security software...
...but please don't call me anti-Symantec
What do you call a software wizard that installs applications?
The Wizard of OS
I don't like to use painting softwares
Because it is Electronic Arts
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Someone just stole my audio software. It was free, but I can't believe them.
The Audacity of that b**....
A friend I met online has a spider as pet, and he named it Feature. Weird, right?
Until he told me he is a software programmer.
A software tester walks into a bar.
Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
a beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
99999999 beers.
a lizard in a beer glass.
\-1 beer.
"qwertyuiop" beers.
Testing complete.
A real customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar goes up in flames.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This new software developer is so socially awkward …
… he failed the Turing Test.
Bored with the carefree life, Timon and Pumbaa decide to join the workforce as software engineers
On their first day at work, Pumbaa's code keeps returning errors for several hours. Finally, Timon says: "Why don't you take a break? I'll fix you some bugs."
I was setting up a voice recognition software for my new phone and a dog nearby barked and ran away.
Now I am still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.
Software architects should never design high security fences.
They're likely to make them highly scalable.
A software tester walks into a bar
Backs into a bar.
Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
a beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
987654321 beers.
a lizard in a beer glass.
\-1 beer.
"qwertyuiop" beers.
Testing complete.
A regular customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar bursts into flames.
A Mechanical Engineer, a software engineer and a purchasing agent...
..are on their way to an industry event when their rental car gets a flat tire. The purchasing agent says
"We need to buy a new tire"
the mechanical engineer says
"no, I think I can fix this one"
and the software engineer says,
"let's drive on it for a while, maybe it'll fix itself."
I recently rejected a junior software dev job at IKEA.
I kinda know java, kotlin and some php but unfortunately Assembly was required.
How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde?
With a TikTok account and some decent photo editing software, only about 4.
