The Best 29 Softly Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Softly jokes. There are some softly gingerly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these softly slowly puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Softly Jokes and Puns

A duckling joke

Why do baby ducks walk softly?

Because they can't walk, hardly.

A blonde walks into a library

and says to the librarian,"I'll have a cheese burger."
the librarian replies softly says,"Sweety, this is a library."
the blonde whispers,"Oh. Sorry, I'll have a cheese burger."

A gorgeous student walks into her professor's office...

She says "Professor I'm really struggling in your class."

He say's "Ok it's good you're here then, what can I help you with?"

"Well I don't quite understand the material but honestly, I would do anything to pass."

"Anything?" He asks.

She leans in close and softly says "Anything."

He leans in closer, almost whispering as he asks:

"Would you, study?"

Softly joke, A gorgeous student walks into her professor's office...

At Night

It is night, I'm sleeping. Gently you're moving towards me, softly touching my naked body searching for that one special place. You've found it and you start sucking on it. You love it so much.

I hate you, mosquito.

British clock in german hands

During world war II, a british clock found its way into german hands. The strange thing about this clock was it went tick-tick-tick-tick, instead of tick-tock-tick-tock. The germans could not figure this out.

Finally, it went to the gestapo. Their chief interrogator softly whispered to the clock " We haff ways to make you tock"


What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside?

A Lift

(only a joke, my American friends)

I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls

Upon waking, a woman said to her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls. What do you think it means?"
The man smiled and kissed his wife. "You`ll know tonight," he softly whispered.
That evening, the man came home with a small package which he gave to his wife. She jumped up and embraced him, and then settled on the couch to slowly and delicately unwrap the package.
It contained a book entitled, 'The Meaning of Dreams'.

Softly joke, I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls

One I heard at a restaurant

"Am I the first girl you ever kissed?" She whispered softly to her date. "It's possible" he admitted, "Were you at Lake Geneva in 2004?"

A gentleman walks into a library...

A gentleman walks into a library, goes over to the librarian and says, "I'll take a cheeseburger, a medium fry, and a small chocolate shake.". Confused, the librarian replies, "Sir, this is a library!". The gentleman is very embarrassed. He softly whispers, "I'm terribly sorry. I'll take a cheeseburger, a medium fry, and a small chocolate shake.".

The wife

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. 

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!  

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!  

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table. 

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck. 

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?" 

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

Egg timer

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. 

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!  

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!  

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table. 

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck. 

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?" 

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

You can explore softly tenderly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean softly whisper dad jokes. There are also softly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do golf commentators speak softly?

To not wake the audience.

Why do penguins walk softly?

Because they can't walk hardly.

A Chinese man is making love to his wife...

The man is going for it missionary style, he slides up her body, kisses her softly and whispers in her ear, "Baby, I wanna 69!". Immediately, her face turns from pleasure to confusion and anger, she replies, "You want Salt and Pepper Chicken NOW?"

As a citizen from Baltic states

Hello Russia, my old friend
You've come to talk to me again
New SovietRussia vision softly creeping
You've spread your seeds while we were sleeping
And the vision that was planted in your brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

This kid walked up to me and called me gay..

I couldn't believe it. I wanted to punch this kid directly in the mouth. With my lips. Softly.

Softly joke, This kid walked up to me and called me gay..

What do you call a pillow fight to the death?

Killing them softly.

I watched a crow land on the line out front today

it was joined by five more in a few minutes. They sat cawing softly a bit, then flew off different directions.

I think I just saw an attempted murder.

I went to the clinic today and nervously said, "Doc, this is a little embarrassing, but I've got a problem." Rolling his eyes, chuckling softly, he retorted, "Trust me, I'm a doctor. Nothing you can show me would be startling."

Hesitating just a bit, I stammered, "Well...I...I...I seem to have 5 penises."

Stunned, eyes wide, he rasped, "Wait, what?! How did you get your pants on!?"

I whispered, "Actually, they fit like a glove."


A good-looking woman

A good-looking woman, maybe in her 60s, waked into a bar and sat at the counter next to a dapper gentleman, also in his 60s.
"You remind me of my third husband," she softly remarked.
Startled, he asked, "How many husbands have you had?"
"Two," she said, as a smile crossed her face.

Besides a good time, what do you call it when the Fonz is whispering softly in your ear?

AyyyySMR

A Spaniard is walking through a grocery store

He spies a carton on the shelf labeled "Soy Milk"

He smiles to himself and says softly "yes you are"

My dog was barking at the neighbour's dog so I gave her a big stick...

Now she barks softly.

Just a hotel bar...

There was a bar on the 42nd floor of the hotel. A dude drinks some whiskey . Then he says watch this. To a dude. He jumps out a window and right before he hits the ground he softly lands and comes back up to the bar. Puzzled, the dude asks how did you do that? The man says just drink some whiskey. The dude has some whiskey and jumps out the window and lands with a SPLAT!!! The bartender says Superman, your such a bad person when you are drunk.

I saw a lonely young man sitting at the bar

He was softly singing to himself *21 today, 21 today*.
Feeling sorry for the lad I bought him a beer.
With a smile and a nod of the head he sings *22 today, 22 today*!

After a lifetime wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, a man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.

Yes, you were, son" his mother said as she started to cry softly. "But it didn't work out and they brought you back".

I walked into my room to find my girlfriend watching a video.

"Hey baby, what are you watching?", I ask.

"Ted talks", she mumbles softly.

"Really?", I say. "That's so awesome! What's your favorite talk? Mine is---"

"Baby, I said 'Tik toks'..."

Why I spoke so softly in the house?

My wife asked why I spoke so softly in the house.


I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening!


She laughed.


I laughed.
Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.

My wife asked me why I was talking so softly at home...

.. I told her that I was afraid that Jeff Bezos might be listening! She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the softly calmly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working softly shakily piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes