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Softer Than Jokes

18 softer than jokes and hilarious softer than puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about softer than that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Softer Than Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good softer than joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

What's harder the softer it gets?

Typing withw my peniuasd
9damnit!)

leather quality ratings

Leather is rated based on its texture. Cows with abundant water sources typically have softer hides, rated A . But hides from cows living in hot, dry climates are typically D Hide-Rated.

I don't like Muslin Afghans and think people should stone them.

A good stonewash can make muslin fabric softer and more flexible which is better suited for afghans and blankets in general, otherwise just go with a soft acrylic yarn.

How do you know when a drummer is knocking on your door? (What are your favorite musician jokes?)

The knocking gets faster as it goes on.

You hear a knock on your door, you open it to find a bass player standing there. What do you do?
Pay him for the pizza!

Two drummers walk past a bar...

How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Put some sheet music in front of him.

What gets harder as it gets softer?

s**....

What did Paul Revere say at the end of his ride?

I gotta get a softer saddle!

Confucius say, "Happy wife lead to soft hands...

Unhappy wife lead to softer hands."

What's softer than tissue?

^^^^^tissue

Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.

Lettuce Tomato

A teenage couple was at the boys house and wanted to have relations. The only problem was, they were sleeping on the top of a bunk bed with the boys little brother asleep on the bottom bunk. They came up with a plan, they would say "tomato" for harder and "lettuce" for softer while having s**....
So as they are doing the deed and the girl is saying "Lettuce! Tomato! Lettuce! Tomato!" Then the younger brother says, "Hey, can you two stop making sandwiches? I just got mayonnaise on my face."

A monk joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence

To encourage reflection, the monks who vow silence are required to share one thought on the five-year anniversary with the head Monk.
After five years, the monk meets with the head monk and he says, "food is bland, should be spicy to engage our senses!"
Five years later, another thought, "Bed too hard, should be softer to allow easy rest to encourage restful body."
Five years later, he meets with the head Monk. "I can't take it anymore! I'm ending my vow and leaving the Monastery!"
"Good!" The head monk responds, "All you've done for 15 years is complain!"

I hear its great for your skin!

A woman is reading through a magazine. She comes across an article that says "if you take a bath in milk it gives you softer more supple skin." She decides it is a good idea so she leaves a note on her door for the milkman to leave her 25 gallons of milk. The milkman shows up and says "ma'am you sure its not 2.5 gallons?" She says "no 25 is right". The milkman said " may I asked what your going to do with 25 gallons of milk?" She replied " I am going to take a bath in it." The milkman then said " ok, do you want that pasteurize?". She said" no just get it up to my n**... I can splash it on my face from there."


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Softer Than One Liners

Which softer than one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with softer than? I can suggest the ones about tougher than and warmer than.

  1. What's harder the softer it gets? Typing withw my peniuasd
    9damnit!)
  2. What did Paul Revere say at the end of his ride? I gotta get a softer saddle!
  3. Confucius say, "Happy wife lead to soft hands... Unhappy wife lead to softer hands."
  4. What's softer than tissue? ^^^^^tissue
  5. Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
  6. What gets harder as it gets softer? s**....