softball Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious softball puns

Low wage workers play basketball. Tradesmen go bowling. Middle managers play softball. Upper managers play tennis. CEOs play golf.

The lesson: the higher you climb, the smaller your balls get.

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The Mermaid Joke

A guy walks into a bar and sees a man at the other end with a very small head, about the size of a softball. He walks up and says, I just have to ask, whats up with your head? The guy with the tiny head says, "I was walking along the beach alone one night and a mermaid appeared. She said that she was magical and can grant me one wish. I hadn't had any luck with the ladies in a long time so my wish was to have sex with the mermaid. She responded that she was a mermaid and it wasnt physically possible for her to have sex with a human. So I responded, how about a little head?"
Zing!

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Good Blonde Joke

A blind guy walks into a lesbian bar and orders a drink. He sits for a while and doesnt hear much so he asks if anyone wants to hear a blonde joke. The bartender says, before you tell your joke I want you to know that there is a big blonde softball player sitting next to you, two blondes that cage fight playing pool behind you, and I myself am a blonde female hockey player...So, do you still want to tell you joke? No. The man replies, not if Im going to have to explain it four times!

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Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team?

Because she ran away from the ball!

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Syrian refugees

Two Syrian refugees compete to see who can become the most American in three weeks. After three weeks the Syrians meet again at a McDonalds. The first Syrian makes his case for him being more American by saying: "Every day I have taken my son to softball practice and my daughter to ballet. I just purchased my first car and it is a Chevy El Camino. I've recently started listening to Toby Keith and Lynyrd Skynyrd, my favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys, and I changed my name to Dave. Beat that!"

The other Syrian simply replies with: "Get out of my country, you fucking towelhead."

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Prison joke (NSFW)

First day in prison, a new young prisoner looks scared. Old guy looks at him and says "Are you scared? New guys meekly says "yes". Old guy says "it isn't bad. Do you like baseball?" New guy says "Yes". Old guy say "Every Monday, we have a softball game." Old guy asks "You like movies?". New guy says "Yes". Old guy says "Well every Tuesday, is movie night and they play first run movies." Old guy asks, "Do you like singing?". New guy says "yes". Old guy says, "every Wednesday, we have karaoke." Old guy asks, "Are you a homosexual?" New guy says "Nope." Old guy says, "you not going to like Thursdays."

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Two Syrian refugees compete to see who can become the most American in three weeks.

After three weeks the Syrians meet again at a McDonalds. The first Syrian makes his case for him being more American by saying: "Every day I have taken my son to softball practice and my daughter to ballet. I just purchased my first car and it is a Chevy El Camino. I've recently started listening to Toby Keith and Lynyrd Skynyrd and my favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. Beat that!"

The other Syrian simply replies with: "Get out of my country, you fucking towelhead."

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I felt betrayed when my girlfriend joined a softball league without telling me

Of all the underhanded things...

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Don't date a girl who just got hit in the eye with a softball.

She's a bad catch.

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What's Tom Brady's favorite sport?

Softball.

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What game do impotent men play?

Softball.

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I used to date a girl that played softball...

She dumped me because I wouldn't go to second base.

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A straight girl joins the softball team

It could happen.

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The Softball Player

Sally used to play softball, but she could never make it home because of her chastity belt.

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Did you hear about the girl's softball game that turned into an orgy?

It all started when the catcher stuck her finger in the batters box.

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I broke up with my girlfriend after she joined a softball league.

She started pitching all the time.

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What do you call baseball without a viagra commercial?

Softball.

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What do you call a chickpea that plays softball?

A lesbean

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Softball is such a sketchy sport.

Everything is so underhanded.

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What do you call a chickpea that plays softball (Warning, very funny)

A lesbean

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Why did the lawyers' softball team always win?

Because they were in a legal of their own.

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You know what they say about softball players...

...they have bigger balls than baseball players.

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Why are softball games so hard to follow?

Because everyone secretly plays for the other team.

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What plays in a diamond and eats box?

A softball player

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What are the most funny Softball jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Softball? Well, here are the best Softball dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Softball pick up lines to share with friends.

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