Soda Pop Jokes
44 soda pop jokes and hilarious soda pop puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about soda pop that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Soda Pop Short Jokes
Short soda pop jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The soda pop humour may include short soda jokes also.
- Why was the man who crushed recycled pop cans for a living sad with his life? Because his job was soda pressing.
- You may think I'm paranoid But I think diet soda is just another form of pop elation control.
- What did the Japanese soda say to Papa John after he crashed his car? I'm really sodie pop.
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Soda Pop One Liners
Which soda pop one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with soda pop? I can suggest the ones about soft drink and pops.
- A soda company printed Michael Jackson on all of their cans He really is the king of pop
- Why is crushing pop cans taxing on one's mental health? Because it's soda pressing.
- I quit my job crushing pop cans today. It was just soda pressing.
- People who make soda jokes. People who make soda jokes must know a lot about pop culture.
- Why was the balloon scared of having a soda? He didn't want to pop.
- I would request a last meal of soda and pop rocks so I could die on my own terms.
- I was crushing old pop cans when one squirted old soda on me. It was soda pressing.
- Crushing pop cans is... Soda pressing
- I see you're crushing pop cans... ...That must be soda pressing
- What American State sells small pop cans? Mini-Soda (Minnesota)
- I just wrote a song about soda... ...it's a pop song.
- I have a large pile of empty pop cans in my garage... It's a mountain, soda's peak.
- What is the most popular soda in candy land? Lolli-pop
- What kind of Pop do you cook with? Baking Soda
- what do you call a fun sized pop a mini-soda
Soda Pop Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about soda pop you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pop rocks jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make soda pop pranks.
A joke told by an old man.
I was speaking to an old man at the grocery store yesterday when he told me something interesting about the olden days of america.
Old man: Son, back in the day my mother could give me a dollar and I could run to the store and get myself a candy bar and a soda pop, and still have money left over to buy the milk my mom asked me to get.
Me: s**... you can not do that today!
Oldman: Yeah, I know son! Now a days, there is just way to much security . . .
A blonde...
...is at a soda machine outside a gas station. A man walks up to her because he sees she has her arms full of soda cans. She put in another quarter, and yet another soda pops out. Another quarter, another can. He finally asked her, "Why do you keep putting money into the machine? I think you have enough." She replied, "I can't help it. I keep winning!"
as i get to the soda machine...
... I find a blonde already there. She puts in some change, makes a selection, and the soda pops out at the bottom of the machine. She then puts in more change, makes a selection, and again, another soda appears.
This goes on for several minutes and I finally ask if I could step in and get a soda really quickly.
The blonde looks up and glares at me. "Are you kidding? Not while I'm winning!"
My Last 3 Boyfriends gossip
Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing the boyfriends they've had in the last year.
One girl says "The last 3 boyfriends I've had, I've named after soda pops. The first one I called 7 Up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up.
The second one I called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do.
The third I called Jack Daniels. Then the other girl interrupts saying "Hold on a minute. Isn't Jack Daniels hard liquor?"
The girl smiles and says "Yes it is"
Once there were three turtles.
One day they decided to go on a picnic.
When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.
The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back.
A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
A blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store.
After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine! She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever s**... thing you are doing?" The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"
Once there were three turtles decided to go on a picnic.
Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said,"oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
Three old ladies are discussing their husbands while having tea.
Three old ladies are out for tea and discussing their husbands performance in the sack.
They decide to have some fun and describe their husbands as soda pops.
The first lady says "my husband is probably Mountain Dew. Because when im ready to mount. Hes ready to do"
The second lady says, still giggling, "My hudband is 7 up, cause when its seven hes always up"
The third lady says "My husband is defenitely Jack Daniels"
The other two ladies reply "But thats not a soda! Thats a hard liquor!"
The third lady shouts "Thats my Leroy!"
Joey's walking down Main Street
Joey's walking down Main Street when he passes George, and George looks frantic.
"Joey! Joey, you gotta help me," says George.
"Why? What's wrong?"
"It's Phil! He's suicidal! You gotta go talk to him. He just got a job at the new soda pop bottling plant, and it's ruining him."
So Joey rushes down the soda pop plant to talk to Phil.
"Phil! What's wrong? I just saw Joey and he said you were really upset by your new job."
"What? I don't know why he'd say that. I saw him earlier today, and he told me I was doing a great job crushing cans! I told him, it's easy.
It's just soda pressing."
There was a young boy named Jim...
Jim was at school, and it was time for lunch. At lunch, there were two choices for a drink besides water: a fruit punch or a soda pop. Jim decided, "Hmm, I'm feeling in the mood for a soda pop." And so, he headed to the soda pop line. When he got there, he realized that the line was extremely long. It nearly had the entire school! Jim was an impatient person, so he said to himself, "Nah, maybe a fruit punch will be better." Jim headed to the line for fruit punch. When he got there, there was no punchline.
Three ladies all have separate boyfriends named Leroy...
One evening, while sharing a few drinks at the bar, one of the ladies suggests, "Let's name our Leroys after a soda pop, because I'm tired of getting my Leroy mixed up with your Leroy, and her Leroy mixed up with your Leroy."
The other two ladies agree.
The first lady speaks out, "Okay then, I'm gonna name my Leroy 7-Up because he has 7 inches and it's always up!"
The three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other high fives.
Then, the second lady says, "I'm gonna name my Leroy Mountain Dew because he can mount and do me any day of the week."
Again, the three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other more high fives.
The third lady then says, "You know, those two Leroys were good, but I'm gonna name my Leroy, Jack Daniels."
The other two ladies shout in unison, "Jack Daniels? That's not a soda pop... that's a hard liquor!"
The third lady bursts out, "That's my Leroy!"