Sod Jokes
27 sod jokes and hilarious sod puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sod that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Sod Short Jokes
Short sod jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sod humour may include short magnificent jokes also.
- My friend Ray just passed away :( He was on the donar list. Apparently they used his eyes to give some poor blind sod his eye sight back.
Its a miracle really, now he's got ex Ray vision - I went to the DIY shop I went to the DIY shop and bought a curtain rail. The shop assistant asked if I was putting it up myself. I replied "no you dirty sod. I'm putting it up in the dining room"
- The Black Panther is starting a landscaping and sod business. He's calling it Wakanda Grass.
- Just found out my grandad left me a stately home in his will. I just don't know where sod hall is...
- What's the difference between sod and a fat chick? Nothing, sooner or later they will both be laid by a Mexican
- Have you ever heard the one about the landscaper who lost everything after his wife left him and his dog died? No?
Maybe I shouldn't tell it. It's a sod story. - I saw a semi truck transporting a load of sod along the highway It was a grass roots movement
- A man said to me "hit me with your rhythm stick you four-eyed sod." That's just adding insult to Ian Dury.
- A man walks into the library... ... And he asks the librarian if they have any books on s**....
The librarian replies "You can sod of, you won't bring it back!" - Did you hear about the b**... that couldn't find its home because grass overgrew its entrance? That dam loser needs to sod off.
Share These Sod Jokes With Friends
Sod One Liners
Which sod one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sod? I can suggest the ones about archaeologist and soil.
- what did the grumpy British man use to scare kids off his lawn? A "sod off" shotgun
- The Patriots had to re-sod their field. Even the grass wont root for them.
- Why did the grass Cross the road? To get to the other sod
- What kind of gun only hurts your feelings when it's used? A "Sod off" Shotgun
- What did a British rifle say to the shotgun? Sod off
- How do you get rid of a turf management professional? You tell him to sod off.
- I had to redo my entire lawn. I was so sod
- I feel sorry for the postman. The poor sod gets the sack every morning.
- A friend of mine found a gold coin in a lump of earth......... Lucky sod !
Charming Humor Sod Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about sod you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lawn jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sod pranks.
Two h**... were sipping shine on the front porch
When a truck went passed loaded up with rolls of sod.
I'm a-gonna do that when I win that there lottery announced h**... #1.
Do wuuuut? Asked h**... #2.
Send my lawn out to git mowed.
Bubba n' Buford
Bubba n' Buford were sittin' on their porch one afternoon drinkin' beer n' bein' entertained by the bug zapper when this semi haulin' sod comes over the hill n' passes in front of their trailer. Bubba declares, "When we get rich I'm gonna do that!". Buford, asks "Do what?". Bubba looks at Buford like he's a idiot n' says, "Well duh, send our grass out to get it cut like them folks!".
Woke up at 6 o' clock this morning ...
...with a b**... hangover listening to my neighbour mowing his lawn , was going to get up and throttle the sod , but then thought "To Heck with it , he can mow around me."
I was watching some construction workers today
outside my office building. They were laying down a bunch of grass.
I saw a forklift come in carrying rolls of grass, when all of a sudden a huge bulldozer came out of nowhere and crashed full speed into the forklift. Both the driver of the forklift and the grass went flying...
It was quite the horrific sight indeed...all I could think was, "Poor sod..."
My brother and I were stopped at a red light
My brother and I were stopped at a red light when a landscaping truck drove past, its entire back laden with fresh green sod.
"Wow," he deadpanned. "I wish I had enough money to send my lawn out to get cut."
Two men were lost in the desert...
When they come across a road, and a headstone.
"Look here!" the first man, Frank, said," Some guy's been buried here. Poor sod, he was only 15."
"Who was he?" Inquired the second man, Fred.
"Some kid named Miles from Bakersfield," answered Fred.
Two Irishmen sitting by the road...
Two Irishmen are sitting by the road when a truck loaded with rolls of turf (sod) drives past.
"Aye, p**.... That's what I'm going to do when I'm rich."
"What's that then Declan?"
"I'm going to send my grass away to be mowed."
