The Best 19 Socrates Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Socrates jokes. There are some socrates nietzsche jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these socrates patio puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Socrates Jokes and Puns

To do is to be - Socrates

To be is to do - Plato

Do be do be do - Sinatra

Socrates on jokes...

Socrates: Define, for me, a punch line.

Hippias: A punch line is at the end of a joke.

Socrates: Is it a punch line simply by virtue of being at the end of said joke?

Hippias: No, it must be an unexpected statement.

Socrates: Ah, but if you know that the punch line is about to arrive, how can it be unexpected?

Hippias: True. Therefore, there can be no punch line to any joke, for such a punch line is always to be expected.

Socrates: Exactly. Last night the exact same logical conclusion was told to me by your mother, while we had intercourse.

I told my son I was named after Socrates, but he didn't believe me because my name is Jim...

Well, I wasn't named before Socrates!

Socrates joke, I told my son I was named after Socrates, but he didn't believe me because my name is Jim...

Friend: "You're a lot like Socrates"

Me: "Because I'm the wisest man around?"

Friend: "No, because you piss everyone off"

Socrates' Beloved

Socrates beloved dog died. He went to his Greek priest and asked if he could arrange a regular church service for his dearly departed. The priest was outraged and berated the parishioner for suggesting his dog receive holy services. Dismayed, Socrates turned away mumbling, 'Now what am I to do with the five thousand Euros we saved for the serviced?' 'Good Lord, my son, come back; why didn't you say he was Orthodox?'

Socrates: To be is to do. Kant: To do is to be.

Scooby Doo: Do be do be do.

What gym did Socrates go to?

The Y.

Socrates joke, What gym did Socrates go to?

Whenever I wake with a terrible hangover, I proudly invoke the inspirational last words of the philosopher Socrates who died saying:

"What the hell did I drink?"

Socrates once said the love of pedagogy should inspire all those that teach to do so without compensation

He was poisoned by the Greek Teachers Union

Socrates is my role model

I too, want to be executed for 'corrupting the youth'

What do you get if you cross Socrates with a dentist?

A flossopher!

You can explore socrates philosophy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean socrates socratic dad jokes. There are also socrates puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Do you like impressions?


That was Socrates.

What do you call a philosopher that kind of wants to play soccer?


Socrates told us to question everything...

But why should we question everything?

Did you know Socrates wasn't heterosexual?

He was questioning.

What do philosophers call soccer tee shirts?


Socrates joke, What do philosophers call soccer tee shirts?

My girlfriend said she wanted a Platonic relationship. So I chose to be Socrates.

Boy was she mad when i pointed out all her flaws.

Why does everyone love Plato?

Because he loved Dogs and he had two sons named Plato and Socrates

Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do.

Plato: Well then I guess I'm YOUR MOM!
-high fives Socrates-

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the socrates aristotle jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working socrates gurus piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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