The Best 74 Socks Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Socks jokes. There are some socks pair jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these socks nikes puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Socks Jokes and Puns

Two babys at the birth ward...

...one baby says to the other."i'm a boy" to with the other reply:"how do you know?". the first baby pulls the blanket to the side and says:"look i got blue socks on"

How are socks like Boy Scouts?

They always come pre-paired.

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven ate Nine. Lame, right? I made up some more!

Why did Two pay more for socks?
Because it was a three-for-five deal!

Why did Four get jealous of Five?
Because Five had six with Seven!
(And I heard that Seven ate Nine out)

Why did Negative One share its cash prize with Zero after they tied for first place in the race?
Because Zero won too!

Socks joke, Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven ate Nine. Lame, right? I made up some more!

my great grandmother got me a ps4 for christmas

my so-so grandmother got me socks

A Polish joke

A Polish man named Wojciech was fed up with being called a dumb Polack by every one he met. So one day he decided to pretend to be German. Wearing Liederhosen, knee socks and a feathered cap, he walked into a shop and told the man behind the counter:

"Hello my name is Rolf and I would like to buy some schnitzel, some saurbraten, some pretzels and some beer."

The counterman said "Get outta here you dumb Polack!".

Wojciech cried, "No no no! I am German! Don't you see my Liederhosen? Why do you think I am Polish?"

The counterman says "This is a hardware store."


MY friends are like second-day socks...

They come through in a pinch, but they really stink sometimes.

Shopping back then

My pop was telling me about how back in the fifties you could get so much more from the shops.

Het tells me "we used to be able to go into grace brothers with ten dollars and come out with two pairs of socks, some new undies, a razor or two and a small bottle of aftershave."

But unfortunately as he tells me, "you can't get that much for ten dollars anymore...there's too many security cameras"

Socks joke, Shopping back then

Why does LeBron James wear high socks?

His Cavs can't handle the Heat

Confessions of a newly wed.

On the first night of their honeymoon, the husband isn't sure how to tell his bride about his stinky feet and smelly socks, while the wife is wondering how to break the news to him about her awful breath, which so far, she's been able to cover up.

After some soul-searching, the husband gathers his nerve and says, I have a confession.

She draws closer, peers into his eyes, and says, Darling, so do I.

Recoiling, he says, Don't tell me - you've eaten my socks.

What did 50 Cent say to his grandmother when she made him a pair of socks?

Gee, you knit?

Finally decided to throw away my favourite pair of socks

but then i got cold feet

You can explore socks toes reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean socks undies dad jokes. There are also socks puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Little Johnny

"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "Can you give me twenty dollars?"

"Certainly not."

"If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."

His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? What did he say?"

"He said, 'Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.' "

What do you call a man riding a cow in the dark with only his socks on?

Married

Do you have holes in your socks?

You don't? Then how do you put your feet in?

An English gent was having a go with his lady

She decided she wanted to start mixing up in the bedroom. One night she looked at him dead in the eyes as they were banging and said "make love to me like you've never made love to me before!"

So he took his socks off.

The worst birthday present I ever got...

...was from my grandma when i turned 5. She gave me three socks. When asked why, she responded "because your mom said you grew a foot."

Socks joke, The worst birthday present I ever got...

Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two?

In case he got a hole in one.

Socks and sandals are like condoms

There is almost no chance of getting a girl pregnant

Got a $100 Nike gift card

Can't wait to buy that one pair of socks


Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife won't let him use socks anymore.

Did you guys hear about the serial killer who's using smaller and smaller socks to strangle each new victim?

Be careful, they say he's still at large.

All this trump merchandise made me wonder

We have make America great again hats, t shirts, and socks, but I've never seen a make America great again dress. I thought for a moment before realizing that presidential matter on dresses was bill clinton's thing.

I found a new passion yesterday pairing socks.

I guess I just enjoy bringing sole mates together.

Socks are like sex

There's plenty to go around, yet I never seem to have any.

If every day is a gift...

... then today is socks.

My wife keeps complaining about me wearing socks while we have sex…

I *suppose* a condom would be better...

Why did the golfer throw out his favourite socks?

Because he got a hole in one.

What is good for golf and bad for socks?

A hole in one.

I discovered that my socks exhibit quantum entanglement.

As soon as I put on my left sock, the other sock immediately becomes the right sock, and vice versa, regardless of the distance between them.

Socks are expensive.

I can go on a date or I can buy a pack of socks. I was going to ask this girl out, but then I got cold feet.

Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy

always trying to leave each other, only to be brought back together by a third party

I gently slid her panties to the side...

....so I could fit her socks into the drawer

Went golfing with a buddy, and I asked him why he brought an extra pair of socks.

He said, "In case I get a hole in one."

Why did the golfer buy two pairs of socks?

He was afraid he'd get a hole in one

^^^^I'll ^^^^see ^^^^myself ^^^^out

I just met a dyslexic hooker.

She offered to cook my socks for Β£50

Why did the golfer take an extra pair of socks with him?

In case.... ^wait ^for ^it... he got a hole in one!

This guy was making fun of my friend Line for his funny name...

So he socks him right in the face and I say,

"Good punch Line. "

Borrowed a pair of my stepdad's socks the other day

He said to be careful as they were his lucky golfing socks.

They have a hole in one.

Quantum entanglement is not hard to understand:

Socks come in pairs. If you put a sock on your left foot, the other sock of the pair instantly becomes the right sock, no matter where it is located in the universe.

How can you tell if someone's a psychiatrist?

Check their feet. If they are wearing dinosaur socks, they are a psychiatrist.

It's a simple roar sock test.

Did you hear about the guy who put on a clean pair of socks every day of the week?

By Friday he could hardly get his shoes on.

What's the difference between my kids and my socks?

Unfortunately, only my socks have gone missing.

My Dad who plays golf.

I always asked dad why he bought an extra pair of socks when he played golf. Told me in case he got a hole in one. πŸ˜‚

Franks wife was going away...

She told him to put on a clean pair of socks everyday,

After 7 days he couldn't fit his shoes on.

What do you call someone that likes to mix and match their socks?

Heterosoxual

Children are like socks

Alot of them go missing.

How did the sperm cross the road?

I wore the wrong socks.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning.

I'll never hire a dyslexic prostitute again!

There was no sex but I did get my socks cooked.

Tomorrow is Downs Syndrome Awareness Day

You're supposed to wear crazy socks.

I'm just going to wear extra jeans.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I wore the wrong socks this morning

Do your socks have holes in them?

No?

Then how did you get your feet in them?!!

I've been getting into trading socks recently

You know, the ones on Wool Street.

Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of socks?

Just in case they get a hole in one!

Why did the sperm cross the road

Because I wore the wrong pair of socks today

First baby asks second baby Are you a boy baby or a girl baby?

Second baby I don't know...
First baby Let me look. Dives under second baby's blanket and comes up red faced and says You're a boy baby!
Second baby How can you tell?
First baby (triumphantly) You have blue socks!

Why did the golfer take an extra pair of socks?

In case he got a hole in one

How do shoe stores diversify their portfolios?

They invest in socks.

A man requested a female painter to paint him in the nude.

"No" the talented artist said. "I don't do that sort of thing.

"I'll increase your fee two times," he said.

"No, no thanks!!"

"I'll give five times as much as you normally get."

Okay, said the artist, "but you have to let me at least wear my socks. I need somewhere to place my brushes."

My neighbours are complaining about my loud groans during sex in the mornings.If . . .

they only knew its me putting my socks on!

You know the scene, balding dude in a convertible with a hot chick.

She peels off her top and says "Faster you go, the more i take off!"

She's down to her socks and he's doing 120 mph when they crash. Dazed and confused she finds the driver pinned in the car and goes for help, but all she can find to cover her bits is his shoe.

Stumbling out into the highway she manages to pull someone over "Help, my friend is stuck!" She screams. The guy looks down at the shoe and says "Ma'am, he's too far in for me to help"

How long should socks be?

Twelve inches, so you can fit in one foot!

Why do golfers have an extra pair of socks?

Incase they get a hole in one.

I never wear golf socks.

They've always got a hole in one.

Why do golfers always bring a spare pare of socks

Incase they get a hole in one

heres another corny joke

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one!

He gently slid her panties to one side...

...so the rest of her socks would fit in the drawer.

"Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?"

"In case they get a hole in one!"

Finally got my daughter to admit I can make good dad jokes... occasionally.

My 10 year old was putting away her laundry, and I noticed that she had a large pile of unfolded socks. I asked her why she hadn't put them away yet, and she said, "I can't because these are all single."

I said, "I know why they are single. They haven't found their sole mates yet."

She literally snorted, and told me that I finally made a good one.

Our teenage boy just volunteered to do his own laundry for the first time…

I guess he doesn't want mom to touch his socks.

Why are socks a bad Christmas present for Daddy Bear?

Because he will always have bare feet.

Teaching my kids to be specific

Since my kids were little they would bring me their socks and ask daddy could you put my socks on ? My answer is always Sure but I don't think they will fit me . So now they ask questions like can you put my shirt ON ME ? I love being a dad. 😎

All the kids at daycare were wearing each other's socks today when we picked our son up

Must've been a busy trading day at the Sock Market

Why do Dads bring an extra pair of socks to the golf course?

In case they get a hole-in-one!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the socks crocs jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working socks sneakers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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