Sock Jokes
121 sock jokes and hilarious sock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Need a laugh? Check out these hilarious sock jokes! From missing socks to crusty socks and everything in between, these jokes will make you chuckle. We've got sock puns, jokes about compression and tube socks, and even some masquerade and sweater and pantyhose jokes! Get ready to laugh out loud!
Quick Jump To
- Short Sock Jokes
- Sock One Liners
- Missing Sock Jokes
- Lost Sock Jokes
- Crusty Sock Jokes
- More Sock Jokes
Funniest Sock Short Jokes
Short sock jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sock humour may include short soup jokes also.
- "Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "In case they get a hole in one!"
- How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating? If she's only wearing one sock.
(This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) - I discovered that my socks exhibit quantum entanglement. As soon as I put on my left sock, the other sock immediately becomes the right sock, and vice versa, regardless of the distance between them.
- What's the difference between a sock and a camera? One is for five toes, the other is for photos.
- [Bad joke] The other day my sister asked me what the difference between cellular division and a sock is To which I replied 'Nothing, they both involve mitosis'
- My kids asked me what it's like to be a mother. So i woke them up at 5am to tell them my sock fell off.
- I met a dyslexic woman at a bar last night... I took her home and she ended up cooking my sock.
- Remember if you lose a sock in the dryer.... ....it comes back as a Tupperware lid, that doesn't fit any of your containers.
- Why are socks a bad Christmas present for Daddy Bear? Because he will always have bare feet.
- Two babys at the birth ward... ...one baby says to the other."i'm a boy" to with the other reply:"how do you know?". the first baby pulls the blanket to the side and says:"look i got blue socks on"
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Sock One Liners
Which sock one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sock? I can suggest the ones about stalk and nets.
- my great grandmother got me a ps4 for christmas my so-so grandmother got me socks
- I beat a black belt at karate. My next challenger is a green sock.
- What did 50 Cent say to his grandmother when she made him a pair of socks? Gee, you knit?
- Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife won't let him use socks anymore.
- Got a $100 Nike gift card Can't wait to buy that one pair of socks
- Have you heard about the incel action figure? It comes in a sock instead of a box.
- Do you have holes in your socks? You don't? Then how do you put your feet in?
- Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of socks? Just in case they get a hole in one!
- Finally decided to throw away my favourite pair of socks but then i got cold feet
- I beat a black belt at karate My next opponent is a red sock
- How are socks like Boy Scouts? They always come pre-paired.
- Why do golfers have an extra pair of socks? Incase they get a hole in one.
- Why did tiger woods bring three socks instead of two? In case he got a hole in one.
- Do your socks have holes in them? No?
Then how did you get your feet in them?!! - I used to date a dyslexic woman I took her home and she ended up cooking my sock.
Missing Sock Jokes
Here is a list of funny missing sock jokes and even better missing sock puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between my kids and my socks? Unfortunately, only my socks have gone missing.
- Children are like socks Alot of them go missing.
- Missing socks When you lose a sock in the wash or laundry hamper, the one that's left becomes more human than you know.
It's looking for its sole mate. - My relationship status is like that other missing sock, I'm all alone and eventually end up getting trashed
- What do you get for every sock that goes missing A tupaware container with no lid
- How do you know when a r**... is on her period? She's missing a sock.
Lost Sock Jokes
Here is a list of funny lost sock jokes and even better lost sock puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Whenever I get a sock from the laundry without the other sock, I keep this sock in the hopes of finding the partner in the future. I call these socks lost soles.
- Why did the octopus refuse to walk on ground again? He lost a lot of money in the sock market.
- What would be the best m**... weapon? A pair of socks, since one always gets lost
Crusty Sock Jokes
Here is a list of funny crusty sock jokes and even better crusty sock puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My girlfriend said I have crusty feet. I blame my socks.
- The only thing worse than a wet sock Is a crusty sock
Silly & Ridiculous Sock Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about sock you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean server jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sock pranks.
Was in a pub the other day...
Was in a pub the other day as one of the patrons was teliing the classic "What do you do if an epileptic person has a fit in the bath? Throw in the washing!" as a big burly guy walks over and says, "I don't think that's funny. My brother was epileptic and died in the bath."
"Sorry, did he drown?"
"No. He choked on a sock."
What's black, 10-inches long, rock-hard and filled with s**...?
The sock under my bed.
how do socks reproduce?
they have socks. goodnight folks
I put a sock on my doorknob
To let people know I'm getting busy with another sock.
My wife told me her sock had a hole in it.
"Darn it!" I replied.
Why did the s**... cross the road?
I accidentally put on the wrong sock this morning.
What does a sock taste like?
Defeat
I didn't have a c**... last night, so I used a sock...
She wouldn't stop complaining about cotton mouth.
What sock do you put on last?
The one that's left.
What do you tell a girl who won't stop asking for a t**...?
Put a sock in it.
Who is a man's best friend?
The sock, he's always there in hard times.
My 8 year old brother just asked me if I had a hole in my sock.
Me: Of course not
Him: Then how do you put your foot inside?
If Dr. Seuss were a convict (poem)
What's this in my hand?
Behind your back?
It's soap on a a rope!
Whack whack whack!
What's this in my sock?
Tick tock, knock knock.
A large steel lock!
Chock chock chock!
What's this in my breeches?
I heard that you blab..
Snitches get stitches!
Stab stab stab!!
Socks and sandals are like condoms
There is almost no chance of getting a girl pregnant
I brought a dyslexic girl home last night.
She cooked my sock.
If Katt Williams had a nickel for every time he's been arrested...
He'd put them in a sock and beat someone with it.
There's a hole in my sock
but atleast there's not a sock in my hole
My friend told me that s**... bank pays you $60 per shot
Boy, do I have an expensive sock under my bed!!
I attacked a stranger with a sock full of dead AAA Duracells
Kind of ironic that I was charged with battery
Do you know who loves getting f**...?
Sock puppets
what do you call a c**... sock puppet?
sock pooppet
It's amazing that the world has millions of undiscovered species...
And they all fit so easily into my sock.
If there's a sock on my doorknob...
It means I'm having s**... with the other one.
Heard the s**... bank gives $50 for your s**....
I have a sock in my room worth $3000.
Socks are like s**...
There's plenty to go around, yet I never seem to have any.
Do you know who likes to get f**...?
Sock puppets
Socks are expensive.
I can go on a date or I can buy a pack of socks. I was going to ask this girl out, but then I got cold feet.
Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy
always trying to leave each other, only to be brought back together by a third party
Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy...
Always trying to break up, only to be reunited by a third party.
Do you know why the spermcells crossed the road?
Because i put on the wrong sock today
My girlfriend is dyslexic...
.. She loves "cooking my sock"
My son just came out of the closet...
I wish he would just do it into a sock like a normal person.
How many inches can you fit in a sock?
One foot.
Why did the s**... cross the street?
I wore the wrong sock this morning.
Let's play name the title
Jokes are reposted so many times here, so name the titles of these punchlines
1. Ones a hippo and ones a little lighter
2. How far do you think I can kick this bucket?
3. Obviously not
4. But it wasn't stroganoff
5. Sam sung note 7
6. Measles
7. We went out and had a few drinks. Cool guy, wanted to become a web designer.
8. I wore the wrong sock this morning
9. Unless everyone gets them
10. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for life.
Socks are like snowflakes
You can never find two that are alike.
Quantum entanglement is not hard to understand:
Socks come in pairs. If you put a sock on your left foot, the other sock of the pair instantly becomes the right sock, no matter where it is located in the universe.
How can you tell if someone's a psychiatrist?
Check their feet. If they are wearing dinosaur socks, they are a psychiatrist.
It's a simple roar sock test.
What do dogs get when they retire?
Sock options
Curiosity just found organic molecules preserved in rock on Mars.
Big deal, if you go to my room right now you can find organic molecules preserved in a sock.
They say your child is a 'chip off the old block'
Half of my block is sitting in a sock under my bed
I dated a dyslexic woman for a while, and it was very confusing.
Every time we went back to my place, she started cooking my sock.
Sockeye salmon is okay...
...but barefootear bass is where it's at.
I went to the store to buy some socks..
I had gotten a pair a really liked a few weeks back. I looked all over and could not find them.
I did not know the sock market could change so much.
Gunna have to go to the doctor's office tomorrow for my girl. I think she has dyslexia.
This is the 5th time she went to cook my sock.
My dog got into my sock drawer today...
I had to re-pair all my socks.
Apparently, arguing with your sock puppet on the bus is not what those "normal is overrated" posts are about.
My wife found my hard sock in the laundry.
She winked at me and said "Have you been using cornstarch?"
I said "No, it's just my Johnson's baby powder."
I think dyslexia is hilarious.
So is tourettes you funch of cucking sock buckers!
And then the sock said...
That's not a foot!
What makes a sock depressed?
de feet
Why did the spermcell cross the road?
Because i put the wrong sock on earlier
Guy walks into a bar, orders 2 shots. Dumps one on the ground.
Bartender asks who it was for. Guy replies "my unborn child"
"Sorry to hear man, what happened?" Asked the bartender.
Guy looked him square in the eye "dried up in a sock."
What do you call a faceless sock puppet?
A mitten.
I walk around like everything's fine,
but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off
Brooks Brothers just filed for bankruptcy
so now I might never be able to use this $50 gift card on one sock.
The arguments between the "pro-mask" and "anti-mask" groups is really intense! People are even PRACTICING their arguments at home first.
Just yesterday I heard a 14 y/o boy tell his friend that at home he mask debates into a sock!
Two guys are in a bar...
Two guys are in a bar:
#1: How do you attract all the ladies? What's your secret?
#2: Before I arrive at the bar, I stuff a big sock down my pants.
#1: Thanks, I'll try that.
Next meeting...
#1: The ladies just screamed and ran.
#2: Next time stuff it down the front.
My new dryer was making this funny sound...
Then I put a sock in it.
I went to the doctor for a complete physical
He asked for a u**..., blood, stool and a s**... sample. So I gave him my underware......and a sock
I was sitting on a bus with a friend and he told me this joke...
What do you do if you see an Epileptic having a fit in the bath?
Throw in your laundry.
The guy behind us leaned over and said "I think that's disgusting. My son died in the bath whilst having a fit."
We both went white and apologised. The guy got up to get off and said, "he choked on a sock."
A woman hadn't had s**... with her husband in 10 years, yet she berated him every day for their lack of children. Finally having enough, he told her to put a sock in it!
She's due in July.
What's the difference between a sock and a camera?
Dam. You seriously don't know?
My uncle swore to me that if i wanted to attract girls, I mean REALLY draw in the chicks, I should roll up a sock and put it in my pants.
I did this at a high school dance, and I when I got home, he asked me if I tried it and did it work. I told him it did not help at all, and only made things worse. He looked down and said, Well you were supposed to put it in the FRONT!
What's the difference between a camera and a sock?
A camera takes photos
A sock takes 5 toes
Why did the s**... cross the road
Because I put on the wrong sock
What do sock puppets eat?
Finger foods
