Following is our collection of aarp humor and classless one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Society puns for adults, dirty archaeological jokes or clean socio gags for kids.
There is an abundance of members jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 75 funniest jokes on society. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any criticism witze you can hear about society.
My parents did.
Then I wait for the next bus
... has members all around the globe
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
"How long do you have to do that for?" I asked. "When is he going to be too old for it?"
"Well, it's a physical bond between a mother and her child isn't it? It's only society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age."
I replied, "Shut up, Harry. I was talking to your mother."
For example, when Ariel from The Little Mermaid swims around half naked, singing with her underwater friends, people say that she is "sweet" and "beautiful"
But when I do it, people say that I'm "drunk" and "no longer welcome at the aquarium".
Society
Apparently, in HD wasn't the correct answer.
Time to update my display to 4K.
"I have mixed feelings. On one hand I was surrounded by the worst society had to offer. I shared cells with thieves, murderers, and rapists. On the other hand the prison library was filled with the best collection of literature that I've ever seen. I don't know. It has its prose and cons."
A female student's composition:
'When two people deeply and passionately love each other, and both reach a high level of mutual respect, then society morally and spiritually encourages that these two people should unite in the ecstasy of physical sex.'
A male student's composition:
'I love sex.'
The next day Churchill sent her a corsage, instructing the lady to affix it to her "white meat."
What's a pirate's favourite architectural feature?
An *arrr*ch.
What's a pirate's favourite place to play?
A p*arrr*k.
What's a pirate's favourite thing to do to women?
Rape.
I never understood why society romanticises pirates.
The fact that you think that it's not society, but the light bulb that should change is problematic.
The lightbulb is beautiful the way it is. Society needs to change and learn to accept and stop shaming lightbulbs that don't conform to its standards.
The answer may surprise you!
They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
Society.
The Flat Earth Society has reported that the 6 foot social distancing measures have led to the pushing of some of their members over the edge.
Society.
Whats black on top and white on bottom?
rape.
They say they have members all around the globe now.
...which is ridiculous, a gay man would never ruin fabric.
Not a single day goes by without them asking for change!
Doctors still make more money than nurses.
And something completely different in prison.
Sieze the day
Society taught me otherwise.
Isn't it great to live in a society where the penalty for lying to a congressman is up to 20 years in jail,
...but the penalty for a congressman lying to you is two more years in office.
Apparently, 'in HD' wasn't the right answer.
You can't even say black paint anymore. Now you have to say, "Jamal kindly paint my house?"
Decaf coffee... obviously.
He keeps it Loki.
And then I wait for the next bus.
I used to go to the store and just say "I'll take my coffee black." Now I have to say "I'll take my coffee jeniqua."
It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.
But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'
'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather man responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Is it going to be a very cold winter?'
'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied,
'It's definitely going to be a very cold winter.'
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.
Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'
'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'
'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, 'The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy.'
This is how stock markets work!
The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gasses here". He doesn't react, because living a society that systematically discriminates against noble gasses has taught him that getting angry will only bring violence upon him. He totally writes an angry tumblr post about it later that evening though.
...said he's thinking of bleaching his skin. Said our society is tilted in favor of the white man. He's tired of being downtrodden. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
I told him to lighten up.
They kicked me out for spilling the beans.
Yo mama is so classless that Marx thinks she's an ideal society.
He's a member of the flat Oeuf society.
Deep underground in Cuba, there is a society that acted as Castro's body doubles when need came to it.
One day, Castro's chief advisor comes to the society during their meeting, and says that the palace where Castro was staying was bombed. Immediately, there was a huge panic between the men, most of whom had this as their only job.
The advisor says, "I have good news and bad news, which would you like to hear first." The men elect to hear the good news.
"Well, the good news is that Castro is still alive and is out of harm's way." Almost immediately, there is a huge sigh of relief all around, followed by lots of cheering. They then ask the advisor for the bad news. "The bad news," said the advisor, " Is that during the bombing, he lost an arm."
It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.
But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'
'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather man responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Is it going to be a very cold winter?'
'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied,
'It's definitely going to be a very cold winter.'
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.
Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'
'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'
'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, 'The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy.'
Because they cant get the word a round.
... it was a respectable spectacle spectacle.
The operator answered and said, "How did you get this number?!"
This actually happened last night with my girlfriend...
Me: So did you read 1984?
She: Yeah, I did...utopian society right?
Me:No it is the total opposite...do you know the opposite of utopian?
She: yeah..Ethiopia right?
and yes she was being totally serious.
A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.
She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenceless woman his seat," and she pushes him back onto the seat.
A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up.
Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already."
Unfortunately she suffers from flatulence. The first time she 'toots' one of the gentlemen gets up and says pardon me ma'am and leaves the room. The next time she 'toots' another gentleman does the same. An American turns to his British colleague and says 'What gives - she keeps farting and guys leave the room'. His colleague says 'this is British politeness - the gentlemen are taking the blame for the lady'. The next time she 'toots' the American stands up and says 'have this one on me, ma'am' and leaves the room.
Because they are too stupid to understand.
Nothing very interesting, they are both completely ordinary members of society who should not be judged based on their ethnic background and skin colour.
And then the building exploded.
... as he looks over them he thinks this is just too much to ask a society to do all at once. He has a plan! Just go around the world and give out one commandment at a time.
So he travels to France. "Hello people of France, I want to give you a commandment from God." The French say "Okay we're listening." Moses replies "Thou shall not commit adultery!" The French look at him and say "It's okay we don't need a commandment right now."
So he travels to Germany. "Hello people of Germany, I want to give you a commandment from God." The Germans say "Okay we're listening." Moses replies "Thou shall not Kill!" The Germans chuckle say "It's okay we don't need a commandment."
So Moses travels to Israel. "Hello people of Israel, I want to give you commandment from God." The Israelis say "Okay, how much are they?" Moses replies "Um... well they're free" The Israelis look at him and say "Okay we'll take ten."
A missionary was walking with the tribe chief in a remote part of Africa explaining to him the wonders of modern society. As they were walking, they see movements in the bushes near them.
Fearing that it might be lions, the chief stood still while the curious missionary went to see what lies behind the bushes. To his amazement he sees a man and a woman going at it. He retreats and joins the chief.
"Lets go. It's just a guy riding a bicycle"
Having never seen a bicycle before, the chief excitedly went behind the bushes. After seeing for himself what the missionary had seen, he pulled out his spear and killed the man.
"Why did you do that?" the missionary asked.
to which the chief answered, "He was riding my bicycle."
I now have to say "Tyrone, could you paint the wall please."
I mean statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy it.
It's just wrong on so many levels
Would be pure dishtopia
They aren't needed in an ideal society.
Sir. The man has enough on his plate without being treated as a lesser individual by society.
Society.
If she ever fell over she would prove the flat earth society correct.
In a capitalist society, the rich man lives in a marble palace, the poor gathered around him. He shouts to them "Haha, suckers!"
In a communist society it's the exact same thing, except the rich man is shouting "We're suffering together!"
When a guy sleeps around with many women, he's called a jock.
When a woman sleeps around with many men, she's called your Mom.
An anorchy...
...I swear, that one KILLED at the urology convention
Vice President, actually.
Today, in civilized society, it is called golf.
Nowadays, everyone is just hoping to go viral.
He turned to me and said "How do they remember where it is"?
He's trying to integrate back into society, but you can still kinda differentiate him from others.
It's called The Order of Operations.
Nonsense! No gay man would ever dream of destroying fabric.
Testicular Cancer Society: Hi there, did you receive our email?
Me: No... why?
Testicular Cancer Society: Maybe you should check your junk.
So I came in my pants.
A dicktatorship
Everyone always asks me "Where are the hostages?", never, "How are the hostages?"
me: you know how sometimes caps lock locks you out of a website ,because you forgot to turn it off when typing the password
human society: yes
me: I guess caps lock is awfully shifty
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.