Socialism Jokes

What are some Socialism jokes?

What is the difference between christianity and national socialism?

In christianity, one guy died for all the others.

What's the difference between Capitalism & Socialism?

With Capitalism, man exploits man.

And it's the opposite with Socialism.

If you have two cows,

Socialism: The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor

Communism: You give them to the government and the government gives you some milk

Fascism: You keep the cows and give the milk to the government, then the government sells you some milk

New Dealism: You shoot one and milk the other, then you pour the milk down the drain

Nazism: The government shoots you and keeps the cows

Capitalism: You sell one and buy a bull. Then put both of them in your wife's name and declare bankruptcy.

Environmentalism: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them

Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned

Binaryism: You have 10 cows

if I had a dollar for everytime socialism was succesful, I'd have 0$

Which is funny because if it did work, I'd also have 0$

It's impossible to make a joke about Socialism.

Because its not funny unless EVERYBODY gets it.

I finally understand the difference between capitalism, libertarianism, and socialism.

Capitalists hire libertarians to say socialism is bad. Socialists say capitalism is bad for free. And libertarians will say everyone else is bad as long as they get paid.

Socialism or Communism are the only path to evolution, and Capitalism is the root of all evil.

> Sent from my iPhone 7

Socialism is like breathing water...

You just aren't doing it right! Here let me try...

Socialism is the Axe Body Spray of political ideologies

It never does what it claims to do but people too young to know better keep buying it anyway.

Capitalism is dancing at the edge of the abyss.

Socialism, of course, is one step ahead of them.

Since we are doing time period jokes: A Joke from the Great Depression.

Government: you have two cows

Socialism: You keep one cow's milk and the government takes the other and gives out its milk.

Communism: The government takes both cows and gives its milk away as it sees fit.

New Dealism: You get rid of both your cows and milk the government.

What happens is Soviet socialism comes to Saudi Arabia?

For the first five years, nothing, and then there will be a shortage of sand.

Capitalism, Communism, and Socialism have a meeting for afternoon tea

Communism collapses on the way there and dies from malnutrition. Socialism is so late from collecting welfare to buy the tea that he decides to go home. However, Capitalism - seeing that neither of the two showed up - buys his own tea, finishes his lunch break, and goes back to work.

Why are so many young people turning to socialism and communism?

Because then they can seize the memes of production.

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: Is it possible to build socialism in Sahara desert?

We are answering: Possible, but you will end up with a shortage of sand.

New US dollar announced today...

They've decided to change the motto. After much pressure from atheist groups, they're removing 'In God We Trust' and going back to Latin. However, 'E Pluribus Unum' sounds too foreign and reeks of socialism, so they're going with a more simple and straightforward 'Carpe Vulva'.

The runner up was 'Oh God It's Trump'

I was taught that socialism was bad.

At a public school.

My Chinese friend's jokes about Socialism and Capitalism

* A Russian, an American, and a Chinese person are walking down a path. Suddenly, they come to a fork in the road. One path has the sign "Capitalism," and it's brightly lit and beautiful. The other is labeled "Socialism," and it's dark and frightening. The American chooses first, marching confidently down the brightly lit path. The Russian is next. Determined, he starts to go down the dark path, but then turns back halfway and runs toward the bright path. The Chinese person is last. After thinking a moment, he chooses the bright path - but first he changes the signs.



* Stalin, on his deathbed, is talking with his successor-to-be, Khrushchev. Stalin, with his dying breath, says "But what if the people won't go with you, comrade?" Khrushchev replies, "Don't worry! If they don't go with *me*, I'll make sure that they're going with *you*."



* An American and a Russian are waiting for their friend, a Chinese guy. The Chinese guy finally arrives twenty minutes late. "Sorry," he says, "I was standing in line to buy some sausage." The American says, "What's a line?" and the Russian says, "What's a sausage?"

Converting pimps to socialism is proving difficult

Maybe I shouldn't have told them they have nothing to lose but their chains

If everyone contributes a small amount of their income...

Together we can pool the resources to defeat socialism.

Under capitalism, man oppresses man.

Under socialism, it's just the opposite.

Socialism never hurt anyone

The very minute it starts killing people and trampling human rights it's no longer socialism it's 'state capitalism'

What is the difference between a dictator and an entrepreneurial networking events organizer?

One capitalizes on socialism and the other socializes on capitalism.

What happens when socialism is implemented in the Sahara?

Nothing for 10 years, and then they run out of sand.

How to make Socialism jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Socialism to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Socialism? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Socialism pick up lines to share with friends.

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